Going back to the roots! Doing MOTU's Bootcamp!

[Shivastorm_88]

Bootcamp, Week 2: Initiating Conversations with Strangers

FRIDAY, 28TH JANUARY 2011
FRIDAY, 28TH JANUARY 2011
Alright, so I started two conversations today. One was with an old classmate from highschool whom I never liked much (he used to be sort of a bully), I caught up a bit with him, what he’s been doing since highschool, he told me about his trip and his planned trip to eastern Europe. All in all, it was a very boring conversation and I was struggling hard to make it happen. Oh well!

Second was a bit more interesting. It was after my yoga class, I asked a simple question to one of the guy there about the class itself, and he told me it was his first time, so we started talking about it. He was giving me his feedback, and why he did it and all. It stayed on the yoga topic, but it was still interesting nonetheless, good conversation flow.


I realized something from all the conversations I've initiated so far. People love to talk about themselves and they will jump at the occasion if it's given to them (nothing new here), but if you try to say something about yourself (e.g.: Oh really, you did X? That's awesome, last year I did Y, which is quite similar!), they might show a minimum of interest, but then the conversation always seems to downgrade. It seems to me the best way to have a good conversation and maintain it is to talk the least possible about yourself, and if the subject is brought to you, just change the subject to maintain the flow.

New total count: 10 so far
Daily count: 3/30

 

[Shivastorm_88]

Bootcamp, Week 2: Initiating Conversations with Strangers

MONDAY, 31ST JANUARY 2011
I started two conversations today. Both were at my yoga gym, the first one was actually with one guy that works at the gym where I climb. He’s not a stranger, I talked to him before, but the reason why I count is that usually we only have very brief talks, while this time I had a nice conversation flow going on. We talked a bit about the yoga, he was explaining me why he was doing it and whatnot, and the subject migrated a bit towards climbing (obviously), but it was a good, non-awkward flow. I used to have so many awkward conversations before, not anymore though!

Second one was after the yoga class. I initiated a conversation with one of the guys that did it as well, starting by asking his feedback on the class. He quickly got into telling me that he had stopped for a while and just recently got back into it. It was a very brief conversation because I was in a hurry, but in a normal setting, he had just opened a door that I could’ve used to create, yet again, a really good conversation flow.

I’m enjoying this challenge more and more!

New total count: 12 so far
Daily count: 4/30

 

[Shivastorm_88]

Bootcamp, Week 2: Initiating Conversations with Strangers

TUESDAY, 1ST FEBRUARY 2011
Alright, two more approaches. One was very good, one was bland. The first one was in my finance class, I talked briefly with a guy sitting next to me about a text we had to read, and I tried to carry the conversation forward a bit. It worked for about 2 or 3 minutes, but the guy wasn't too keen on conversation, and I didn't feel like trying too hard (not a lot of sleep) so I let it at that.

Second one was much more interesting. I was doing bouldering at my climbing gym and I initiated a conversation with one of the guys, and we started sharing some climbing stories, he gave me a few tips (much more advanced in bouldering than I am), all in all I had a good conversation flow with him, and scraps of conversation here and there during my 30 minute session.

New total count: 14so far
Daily count: 5/30

Boy it's getting so much easier now! However, I feel like all I do are situational approaches. By the middle of the month, I will switch it over to pure cold approaches from times to times, meaning stop someone in the street, ask a basic conversation and build a conversation from there.

 

[Shivastorm_88]

Bootcamp, Week 2: Initiating Conversations with Strangers

WEDNESDAY, 2ND FEBRUARY 2011
Skipped that day, I didn't go out at all I simply studied all day long. God it was a long day!

THURSDAY, 3RD FEBRUARY 2011
Two conversations today, this time with girls from my class. Also tried to initiate a third one, which worked to some degree, but the person was busy so it didn't last long at all, therefore I won't count it.

First, I got to class early and there was only me and another girl (2 stars girl - See my rating scheme below) so I initiated a conversation with her. She has an obnoxious view of things, but I thought to myself "practice is practice" so I kept my conversation going for about 5 minutes until I got bored of her and went for a drink of water.

Second, another girl from class (2 stars as well), she initiated a conversation asking about a homework, and I built up on that to create another, this time more interesting conversation. Lasted about 3 or 4 minutes, but it was chill. It's getting more and more natural for me to maintain conversations with people I never talked to before.

Last, it was a guy from my climbing gym who was doing a leap rope class right next to where I was belaying my partner, so I started a quick convo with him, his partner and the teacher when they were both on the ground, but the class is on a tight schedule so it lasted about 2 or 3 minutes.

New total count: 14 so far
Daily count: 6/30




RATING SCHEME: TUCKER MAX'S STAR SYSTEM
Here's the link: http://www.tuckermax.com/other/the-tucker-max-female-rating-system/

Hilarious stuff. The breakdown:

1 star: Also named common stock pig, it's a girl you would only sleep with if you are completely wasted and cannot realize she is ugly as ****. When you wake up the next morning, you will try to run away without her noticing it.

0 star: Also named wild best, it's a 1 star but with a complete **** personality (aka: acting like a complete *****). She has no basic human rights.

2 stars: Also named respectable pig, it's a 1 star with one or two redeemable qualities (nice rack, gives nice BJ, etc.). If you sleep with her, you would not dare tell any of your friends.

3 stars: Also named decent or attractive, it's a girl that is acceptable to be seen with. You wouldn't mind telling your friends you're sleeping with her, but would ditch her for something better in a heartbeat.

4 stars: Also named girlfriend material, it's a very attractive girl and you wouldn't mind being seen around her. Ascension to the 4-star level can only be attained through use of a petition. The candidate must secure 75% of the vote from those polled.

5 stars: Also named super hottie, it's a hot babe. It’s kind of like the Hall of Fame. A declaration that someone is hot is assumed to be true, but can be rebuked if 25% of those polled vote against her 5-star placement.

 

[BBbardot]

the shoe thing page 1 i so creepy, it also often follows with, "would you like to the a feet photo shoot, would you allow meto *** on it " ( i swear it happened to me in london when i was 14) and something in the same style once in a shoe shop no long time ago ewww. Now if any guy approaches me in the street talking about my shoes, id cry i think.



and you rating is straight scary, you're murderer material, im out.

 

[Shivastorm_88]

Bootcamp, Week 2: Initiating Conversations with Strangers

FRIDAY, 4TH FEBRUARY 2011

Again, a yoga class approach. I did two this time, as well as one in the climbing gym. The first one, before the class, was with a young couple (3 stars girl). She was completely frigid and barely said one word, but the guy was pretty open to talk up. I got a nice conversation with him, while she was just playing on her cell phone. So far for socializing!

After the class, I talked with one of the guys that did it along with me. Again, very yoga orientated nothing fantastic. Interesting guy nonetheless. It’s funny, you can have the most mundane conversations, but with every new person it always takes a new direction. I guess it depends on the person’s style.

Finally, at my climbing gym, two girls (one two stars, one four stars) were climbing next to me and my partner. The four stars was having a hard time getting on the wall, I tried to give her a tip, but the two stars one pretty much snapped back at me. I still managed to get a very brief conversation, but I guess ego got in the way and they did not want pointers. Result? She never got on it and gave up. Sucks for her!

I think I will soon try to start random conversations that aren’t situational, or keep doing situational conversations but with girls (not aiming for high-end girls, any girl will do for now).

This bootcamp helped me to realize that initiating conversation with strangers is incredibly easy, whether it is with guys or girls. I'm not really nervous about it or anything anymore (as long as it stays situational). Whether it's a guy or a girl, a hot girl or an ugly one, I'm finding this very easy. Next thing I have to practice is pure cold approaches that aren't situational.

 

[Shivastorm_88]

Bootcamp, Week 2: Initiating Conversations with Strangers

Well I've slacked off quite a bit, but I did take another step today, which is a non-situational conversation. Sort of.

TUESDAY, 8TH FEBRUARY 2011
Well I have to plead guilty to laziness. I haven’t done any approaches for the whole weekend or on Monday, despite some decent chances that I had. Even today, I didn’t do any specific approach. I simply started and maintained many conversations with colleagues that I never talked a lot with. Although I am not counting it towards my “conversation goal”, I thought it would be worth mentioning since usually I would not hold conversations for such long period of times. I guess my exercise has been helping me a lot with holding conversations with people, which is a good thing. It’s only the first step, but this step seems to have been achieved! Next steps are: Cold approaches, have sexual conversations with girls, etc.


WEDNESDAY, 9TH FEBRUARY 2011
Alright, after a small absence I am back in business. I only had one conversation though, with two guys from my climbing gym. I started by making a smart/funny remark, which broke the ice and we went on and talked about some facts of the climbing gym and all. All business again, but whatever, the conversation was there. I really have to start doing pure cold approaches, it’s getting redundant now.


THURSDAY, 10TH FEBRUARY 2011
Ok this time I switched it up a bit. I did a cold approach type of conversation at work. I was in the elevator on the way to my floor with one other person (an older guy, in his fifties). I started the conversation simply by saying a remark... I had just ate supper, so I said something in the lines of “nothing feels better than eating a good warm meal when you are starving”. Horrible line, horrible way to start a conversation, but it worked. Although it didn’t last very long (I was going down five floors) I’m quite pleased since it my first official non-situational approach. I guess there aren’t that much of a big difference between situational approaches other than it felt a bit more awkward for the first 2-3 seconds until the guy reacted and replied. As soon as he did, it was a regular approach all over again.

New total count (situational): 17 so far
New total count (non-situational): 1 so far
Daily count: 9/30

 

[Shivastorm_88]

Bootcamp, Week 2: Initiating Conversations with Strangers

FRIDAY, 11TH FEBRUARY 2011

Back with a situational approach, although today I was lazy and I wouldn’t have done any if it wasn’t for a guy at my climbing gym that said a weird comment, which created a nice opportunity for a conversation. Glad I did, because he taught me something valuable about climbing. Lesson of the day: Everyone (or almost) has something interesting to say!

SATURDAY, 12TH FEBRUARY 2011

I had a very brief conversation with a stoned teen when I went with my friends to Mc Donald's... Reminded me of the good old days when I used to smoke all the time, and also reminded me why I decided to stop completely.


SUNDAY, 13TH FEBRUARY 2011

This time I didn’t do a situational approach, it was more joining in on a conversation. While I was belaying my partner, two guys and a woman were speaking and talking about when it is more or less busy, best time to climb, etc. So I decided to join in their conversation. One thing led to another and one of the guys started talking about his experience at another climbing gym that is in Montreal, explaining bad experiences he had over there, and telling me a bit about his past climbing experience. I might have been doing this for a while; I am still always amazed to see how easily people open up to complete strangers! When I will start approaching girls I’ll have to keep this in mind to make my approaches easier.


New total count (situational): 19 so far
New total count (non-situational): 2 so far
Daily count: 13/30

 

[Shivastorm_88]

Bootcamp, Week 3: Approaching and initiating conversations with girls

Alright well even I hadn't quite finished the week #2 exercises (I wanted to do thirty in total) but seriously it was getting extremely redundant, so I'm going to skip over to week #3 exercise. This week is the same as week #2, but I have to focus on girls mostly. Although I will continue to start conversations with pretty much anyone, I will only keep up-to-date those that I do with girls. My aim is not to get numbers yet, I am simply at the conversation style, whether situational or cold approach (mostly in the form of asking for an opinion right now)

TUESDAY, 22ND FEBRUARY 2011

Two interesting approaches today. One that was a success, and I’m sure I could have gotten her number, even though I am not seeking that right now, so I didn’t ask, and the other was a failure. Although I have to say, I have learned quite a bit from the first approach.

The first one was at a pharmacy, I went in to ask tips to the worker there (4 stars) about facial creams. She spent about 5 minutes explaining to me about different creams, and I was honestly trying to follow, but God there are so many! Anyways during the whole interaction I was verbally flirting with her, and she was quite responsive. At some point she initiated kino (I didn’t respond back since I didn’t want to escalate the interaction, I’m still focusing on my verbal communication) and at some point I diverged the subject to cooking, told her I cook quite a bit which got me some nice IOIs. One thing I did wrong in this exchange: Not once I introduced myself or asked for her name. And to be honest, I should have asked for her number. I’m pretty sure I could have gotten it, and it’s not because I was scared that I didn’t ask, simply because I’m not at that level in the bootcamp yet, but I realized after (boy did I regret it, she was smoking) that this should not stop me from trying!

Lesson #1: Introduce myself!

Lesson #2: Like Pook said: “Be not constrained by formulas!” Yes right now my focus isn’t the number, but if I have a good occasion, I should go for it.

The second girl was an utter failure. It was the cashier, I asked her for her opinion on something (an honest opinion)... I was planning on cooking a chocolate mousse (which I failed miserably T_T) when I got back home, and asked her what she thinks would be better in it, Rum or Triple Sec... She just looked at me like I was a freak and answered, no muttered “I don’t know... Try to google it or something...”. I was not expecting this kind of answer, and basically I let it go. The lesson:

Lesson #3: I have to expect some very negative responses from girls, and I must not be caught off guard, I have to keep a cool and detached attitude and brush it off.


New total count: 2 so far
Daily count: 1/30