Goddamn it... it's JCballin's turn to vent

[SgtSplacker]

"I know he's always all over her any chance he gets."

This only supports my thoughts. Don't forget that girls use sexual innuendos to get what they want. Some creep like that guy only makes it easy for her. She may be taking advantage of letting the guy think she likes him. There's a line she won't cross. She may feel that it's unfair she has to work closely with this creep, so she turns on the big guns and handles the situation to her advantage. If she gets all pissy with the guy before she has to spend so much time with him it just makes it harder and more uncomfortable on her.

One thing for sure is that you should pick your arena and it should not be the work place. Don't let anyone at work know you like this girl. Don't try to advance things at work at all. Keep this a secret.

 

[Naughty Ninja]

A truly decent person who likes YOU doesn't let the office creep hang around her to 'use' him like posters claim.

Now if this guy is as messed up as you say making $8 an hour I doubt she's letting him hang out or always be near her to get something out of him.

You'll go back and forth on this in your mind seeing signs she's not been with him, then bad that she is, possibly hear things.....But in the end the office gossip will start to fly and I guarantee you something is going to be going on between them if it hasn't already.

From your story it just seems highly odd that a chick who's seen with so much going for her is completely 'clueless' and is just 'using' the office loser instead of doing it to the 'upgrade' in the office. Wouldn't that make more sense?

I've seen that sh1t happen a LOT.


O.P. I'd go. And keep my cool. Have fun but be aware. Keep it cordial. Don't waste your time with this chick.


She may have 'daddy' issues and got four degrees trying to impress or compensate for a bad parent. Do you know her relationship with her parents? Maybe trying to get them back subconciously by going with losers? I personally know people with LOADS of degrees who sit in dead end jobs because they are too afraid of success and keep piling up degrees but won't take the step to USE them in the world. This chick could have daddy issues and maybe this dude mirrors her dad. There's nothing you can do at that point. Realize some people on the outside may be a 'great catch' but inside are fvcked up mentally and hide it well for a while.

 

[AAAgent]

I think you need to look at it differently. I've had that happen to me many times in different situations where the girl is into you (or so you think) then another guy comes along and she's asks you to tag along as well. You feel like tagging along will make you inferior so you opt to do your own thing. Then next thing you know the girl either loses interest, you grow apart, or she hooks up with the guy.

When i tossed aside that attitude and just went after the girl because i felt like i was better than the guy anyway, i always got her. I don't really want to dwelve deep into why girls keep orbiters around or even though they want to hang out with you they won't pursue it.

 

[JCballin88]

Okay dudes, I'm on the trip. It's confirmed...they've actually been dating for a couple weeks. I knew in my gut something was up. They've even got their own room at the hotel...

 

[AAAgent]

Okay dudes, I'm on the trip. It's confirmed...they've actually been dating for a couple weeks. I knew in my gut something was up. They've even got their own room at the hotel...

That's a major turnoff to me right there. I'm not interested in Elmer Fudd's leftovers.....

 

[MisterD]

Okay dudes, I'm on the trip. It's confirmed...they've actually been dating for a couple weeks. I knew in my gut something was up. They've even got their own room at the hotel...

Terrible. Sorry for the let down. At least you know what kind of girl she is. Flirting with you/sending you signals, not telling you she was dating this dude? Changing plans at the last second? Dating a low quality dude?

NEXT!!!

 

[JCballin88]

Next is right. I'll admit I Am really shocked. I had this chick pegged as a really good girl, so innocent and professional-acting that I figured she may have even been a virgin with little dating experience. Turns out she just another skank!

Thanks for the insight and support...unfortunately I have to survive one more day of seeing them all over each other on this retreat. I've completely ignored them so far and I feel good about it, even though she's likely wondering why I haven't even talked to her once yet

 

[Single4Life]

Normally I'd say, "you didn't pounce while the iron was hot..."

but it doesn't matter if you pounced or not. A quality girl wouldn't ever dream of being with a loser like that. She would rather be single or wait for you instead.

So she's not a quality girl. You are going to have to go No contact with this girl so you detach from the idealization you had about her... the possibility of having a quality girl... just go NC and you will soon not give a flying **** what she does. She's a ho and she tricked you, bro. Why would a girl who doesn't smoke or drink or do drugs be with a loser who does all those things? haha.

 

[Naughty Ninja]

Next is right. I'll admit I Am really shocked. I had this chick pegged as a really good girl, so innocent and professional-acting that I figured she may have even been a virgin with little dating experience. Turns out she just another skank!

Thanks for the insight and support...unfortunately I have to survive one more day of seeing them all over each other on this retreat. I've completely ignored them so far and I feel good about it, even though she's likely wondering why I haven't even talked to her once yet

Hahahaha! Sorry to laugh but...DUDE I FVCKING KNEW IT! I've seen sh1t like that happen waaaay too often in my previous job. The chick you'd least expect. The one who seemed to have things going for her and was 'above' some of the ones who didn't hide the fact they were low lives...and then SURPRISE! She's into low lifes herself.

Nothing surprises me anymore. Most likely her family life isn't great and she dates guys like her father or tries to 'get her parents back by dating trash'. Dvmb chicks are dvmb.

O.P. I'm curious though...all those other chicks who claim the guy she's dating is a creep....I wonder what they're saying now about him and or her? Or if they've had 'experience' with him to know he's a "creep". He may've already been through a few of them too.

 

[macallik]

Next is right. I'll admit I Am really shocked. I had this chick pegged as a really good girl, so innocent and professional-acting that I figured she may have even been a virgin with little dating experience. Turns out she just another skank!

I think the issue with the whole situation is that you approached the situation with an assumption of character and that she was like you and disregarded signs that said otherwise.

In your first post, you assume that what you value that makes you date-worthy is what she values and so she would see you as date-worthy. Just because you are the hardest working and most respected in your office doesn't mean sh!t to some people. Personally, I don't care if a chick works on a garbage truck as long as I find her attractive and interesting. You need to find out what she finds interesting and what she likes in a mate. If these things are a match for you or you are willing to fake it, then you develop a plan. If not, you move onto the next one.

Only dating virgins with little dating experience can be a sign of insecurity or being afraid of being measure against others. Also, calling girls skanks because they DON'T sleep with you is for AFCs.

 

[JCballin88]

Haha maybe man...I've just been around females long enough to know when I'm hitting it off well with them, and this girl was giving me lots of positive signs. I guess I got a little complacent assuming I didn't have any serious competition. Maybe she was just so desperate when she started working here that she ended up with the first guy to actually officially ask her on a date or something.

Well anyways I'm finally back from the trip. Turns out the girl and loseroffice guy were staying directly across the hall from me in the hotel.

There was one point yesterday where I walked by them in the hallway and they were like "hey, you wanna come hang out and watch TV with us or something?" and I just laughed and went into my room.

Anyways glad that saga is at least over, now I can kinda relax more at work and focus on doing some good things there. Also I'm about to take a bike ride to the beach where I'm meeting a different chick I number-closed last week. Sargin' on!

 

[HalfAddict]

All these dudes saying blah blah blah maybe she is just a friend, grasp at those straws boys because actions speak louder than words. Regardless of the possibilities actions dictate she is ****ing loser bald guy... so FFS just next her and she'll probably try to crawl back into your good graces in about a month, the method is tried and true. If you want take it then if not tell her to sit and spin, jeez.

 

[Robert28]

Alright fellas, I apologize in advance for another "screw this I hate women" but damn...I just got ****blocked harder than I ever have in the rest of my combined life.

I will preface this by saying that...YES...I do "work" with the girl in the story here...but our hours are very different and we're in different departments so it's not too taboo, in my opinion.

Anyways, there's me:

- 23, good-looking,
- smart
- one of the youngest in the office but also one of the hardest-working and most respected of the younger core
- Popular with everyone due to my low-key nature and good sense of humor


Her:
- 22, newish on the scene
- very sweet and innocent,
- very smart and well-accomplished (has like 4 college degrees,)
- really pretty in that down-to-earth, classy girl style
- Like me, isn't really into smoking, drinking, swearing, etc.

So basically the two of us have hit it off very well...I number-closed early and have been building some great rapport. She has sent some pretty solid signals my way, including initiating kino, laughing at everything I say, great eye contact, etc.

The situation:

Work retreat a couple hours away, including hotel stays and two nights of partying! This girl asked me a month ago to make sure I was going, and since then have been making plans to do our own thing for a lot of the time since neither of us are super into getting wasted and passing out for most of the time.

So we're supposed to go tomorrow on this party bus, had plans to sit together and all that.

Then she calls me and says "hey, change of plans, I'm going to drive separately with 'LOSEROFFICEGUY' since he wants to come back early and go to an event in town. So I'm going with him...do you want to ride with us?"

I of course declined, said I'd continue with the main plan.

This is what I don't get - this guy is the biggest, creepiest loser in the office, and somehow he's always around this girl. I occasionally asked myself "is there something more going on there?" And the answer is, apparently yes!

Here's what I don't get about LOSEROFFICEGUY. He is:

-31 years old
-Bald
-Makes $8/hour and lives with his parents
-Smokes, drinks, swears, and is extremely immature
-Likes to go to strip clubs
-Has two DUIS and is one bad parking job away from losing his limited license
-Others girls have told me he freaks them out cuz he's so creepy

And there you have it. I lost out to the 31-year-old "bad boy" who lives with his parents. I'll never, ever understand what this girl is doing by apparently picking him over me.

I guess the moral of the stories are:

-One-itis is a serious disease
-Bad boys still reign supreme, even if they suck at life
-Don't date in the office.

TL,DR: I thought I was on my way to dating a classy, nice 22-year-old, but lost out to a guy 10 years older than me who is the ultimate tool.

let me take a stab at it. I got the feeling from reading your initial post that you had this girl all made out to be "perfect" when in reality you should know that THE PERFECT WOMAN DOES NOT EXIST. you just eventually meet one you can tolerate, and may eventually marry. what has this woman ever done for you to deserve such praise? let's go over a few things you pointed out about her.

- 22, newish on the scene
- very sweet and innocent,
- very smart and well-accomplished (has like 4 college degrees,)
- really pretty in that down-to-earth, classy girl style
- Like me, isn't really into smoking, drinking, swearing, etc.

first of all 22 is still VERY immature for a female. they claim that women mature more then men but I have seen it to be quite the opposite.

very sweet and innocent? sounds like that's what you ASSumed about her even though you have only known her for a very short time. even the biggest b!tches i've met in my life have fooled me in the beginning. they're pros at what they do, so don't get down on yourself too much for falling for the trap.

so what if she has 4 college degrees, I know girls with highschool diplomas that are intelligent and i know girls with PHD's that are the biggest wh0res walking this earth and are plain DUMB. hell, I know this one girl who's a doctor and she used to be the biggest backseat slvt in town! I can only imagine her preaching to her patients about "practicing safe sex" when she's been rammed in the @$$ by groups of men many a time.

do you know how many "pretty, down to earth, classy" girls i've known that date the biggest dumb@$$es in the world? TONS. they have gotten bored being "classy and down to earth" all their lives and once they get out on their own it's time to hoe it up and date the complete opposite of what they used to bring home to mommy and daddy.

just because she isn't into all of that stuff doesn't mean she isn't into guys that do that stuff.

you know why she's into this guy most likely? because he's the total and complete opposite of her, it's exciting to her. you remind her of the kind of person she is, the kind of guys shes dated all of her life. remember, shes away from her parents and all of her friends now, she can date the lowest of the low and they'll NEVER find out.

 

[JCballin88]

you know why she's into this guy most likely? because he's the total and complete opposite of her, it's exciting to her. you remind her of the kind of person she is, the kind of guys shes dated all of her life. remember, shes away from her parents and all of her friends now, she can date the lowest of the low and they'll NEVER find out.

I'm guessing this has something to do with it. Although she actually does still live with her parents around here. Which is another reason I didn't think this guy would be a match, because he's not the kind you would expect a girl to want to bring home...

 

[Robert28]

I'm guessing this has something to do with it. Although she actually does still live with her parents around here. Which is another reason I didn't think this guy would be a match, because he's not the kind you would expect a girl to want to bring home...

how much you wanna bet he will NEVER get brought over to her house to meet her parents? this company trip was the perfect getaway for those two. while her parents think she's off on some business trip, she's secretly with some bald loser moron that sits around a hotel room and watches tv instead of goes out to have fun. I will also bet her parents don't know she's leaving early with this guy to come home and go to some baseball game. I dunno where they'll stay since he lives with his parents too, maybe a hotel in town? I highly doubt this will turn into a serious relationship because her parents most likely would flip sh!t, but seems like to me it's more of a fwb thing and they just won't date other people at all. what she doesn't realize is shes getting a bad reputation and when her "fun" is over, she thinks she's going to go out and land a top quality guy but fat chance at that. that's why she'll keep this loser around.

 

[Professor Booty]

I'm seeing a lot of AFC-isms in this post:

- putting a girl on a pedestal
- waiting too long to make a move
- taking girls' gossip about a guy at face value
- characterizing your rival as a "loser" when he beats you to the punch
- judging the girl harshly when she chooses the "loser" over you (the whole "what does she see in him?" lament)
- seeking confirmation from others that you are the better catch and that she's a fool/*****/slut for having chosen him

Now, he may well be a loser, but he's obviously doing something right because he got the girl and you didn't. If you're going to think about this guy at all, it would be better to reflect honestly on whatever positive qualities he may have that attracted her to him, and see if there is something you can learn from him that would help you improve yourself. It may be as simple as being more forward and asking her out on a date instead of using a company event as a kind of back-door way to a date. He obviously didn't wait for the event because they were dating two weeks prior. See if there is a way if you can adopt a DJ mindset about this experience and turn it into a positive (hard, I know).

 

[Naughty Ninja]

Haha maybe man...I've just been around females long enough to know when I'm hitting it off well with them, and this girl was giving me lots of positive signs. I guess I got a little complacent assuming I didn't have any serious competition. Maybe she was just so desperate when she started working here that she ended up with the first guy to actually officially ask her on a date or something.

Well anyways I'm finally back from the trip. Turns out the girl and loseroffice guy were staying directly across the hall from me in the hotel.

There was one point yesterday where I walked by them in the hallway and they were like "hey, you wanna come hang out and watch TV with us or something?" and I just laughed and went into my room.

Anyways glad that saga is at least over, now I can kinda relax more at work and focus on doing some good things there. Also I'm about to take a bike ride to the beach where I'm meeting a different chick I number-closed last week. Sargin' on!

Not for nothing but I've been in COUNTLESS situations where I could have sworn to God all the 'positive signs' were there and it turned out to be wishful thinking on my part. I've learned to completely ignore 'signs' and keep a level head about things. Almost every time I've found the chick I 'lost' turned out to be a "Thank friggin God I didn't wind up with that." and needed to adjust my priorities and what I was looking for in chicks.

 

[jpizzler]

Not for nothing but I've been in COUNTLESS situations where I could have sworn to God all the 'positive signs' were there and it turned out to be wishful thinking on my part. I've learned to completely ignore 'signs' and keep a level head about things. Almost every time I've found the chick I 'lost' turned out to be a "Thank friggin God I didn't wind up with that." and needed to adjust my priorities and what I was looking for in chicks.

God almighty, why had I not found this forum sooner? It's really opened my eyes, it's extremely easy to draw parallels. Perhaps it's a touch of naivety from the girl, a silly acceptance of 'the challenge', the loser. Still to this day it blows my mind why this does indeed happen ALL the time...

 

[Naughty Ninja]

God almighty, why had I not found this forum sooner? It's really opened my eyes, it's extremely easy to draw parallels. Perhaps it's a touch of naivety from the girl, a silly acceptance of 'the challenge', the loser. Still to this day it blows my mind why this does indeed happen ALL the time...

LMAO. It's not 'all' the time. But I've seen it far too often even with chicks I wasn't into or after. No one to blame but themselves. Or perhaps you follow the mass media who claim every man is 'bad' and these 'poor, innocent, helpless, angels' just happen to stumble into the arms of lowlifes (or not) and then play up the victim role to the hilt. If this dude is as bad as the O.P says, she's the type who deserves him and shouldn't be given a second thought by the O.P. Period.

 

[jpizzler]

Okay, 'ALL' as a hyperbole then. :L
That's what baffles me, how that mindset works. Why she's the 'type' for a scratch of a fellow.

Oh well, I've years to ponder on that thought...