God I suck.

[john_trenor]

A lot of guys get nervous around women... it sucks because they can't get to know the real, fun you. So yes, confidence is key to attracting women and sealing the deal. That said, I'm talking about real confidence - actually feeling good about yourself - because women can smell fake confidence a mile away.

It sucks that you feel socially awkward, but don't worry. A friend of mine is super smart but has a somewhat different way of talking - different sense of humor and speaks a little more intellectually than what most women are used to. But, he's a great guy and knows it.

In fact, I see him using the following ice breaker with great success: He smiles (almost laughs) and says "Oh, don't worry but I'm a bit socially awkward." You'd be surprised, but 90% of the girls he says this to laugh, lean in, and flirt with him like crazy!

That's because he 1) did something unexpected, 2) demonstrated that he is actually confident and is comfortable with who he is, 3) it makes them feel less insecure, and 4) it just lightens up the conversation. Girls don't want to hear about how awesome you are - they're interested in having fun!

Some may view him as socially awkward... but I've seen him get some amazing results! So no worries thegator39.

 

[john_trenor]

Oh, and use my friend's "socially awkward" line only when you're in a good mood - at the bar laughing it up with your buddies, for example. Again, if the point is not to care what the women may think of you... if you're feeling good, they'll feel good about you.

 

[thegator39]

Someone sent me a pm, and this is what I said to them:

on the autism websites i go on, most guys are virgins/never had a girlfriend/never even had a close mouthed kiss or a date.

i'm actually advanced for someone with aspergers my age. i dated what i consider a 10 (more like an 8 to most guys) did everything but sex with her including oral and went on several dates with her and hung out with her for another few months. have also been on coffee dates where women didn't suspect anything.

the problem is, these women liked my looks, so they weren't looking for the autism or the differences. the only reason i didn't have sex with my ex is because of timing...she clearly wasn't over her previous LTR and feared that if we had sex, I'd fall for her or vice versa.

to women that don't think i'm hot/attractive/their type, i'm less than average due to the awkwardness for lack of a better word. if a woman doesn't think i'm awkward before i talk, she will the second i open my mouth.

and like i said, my lack of success with women has only made me more obsessed with women as it relates to their bodies/nudity/sex. people with autism usually have one big obsession...and for me that is sex and naked women and the like. i literally think and dream about it 24/7.

 

[TheAsianLoverReturns]

Here's an easy band aid to your problem.

Don't talk as much. Be the strong silent type.

You still need balls though. Always escalate. Escalate from email to phone. Phone to meet. Meet to kiss. Kiss to sex.