God damn it! I talked my way out of getting laid. How do I escalate?

[big weezy]

I must have a crisis of confidence or something. I was having dinner with my friend and this cute girl started talking to me. I could tell she was attracted and she was sad I was leaving tomorrow to go abroad and was not coming back. When I left we exchanged numbers and she was disappointed saying ''so where is your room? is it far?'' I was selling some stuff and i made a joke about if she wanted to buy it. I was like 'it's close.' but she was like 'oh im tired'

It was already 11.30pm and I left with my friend. I said to him ''do you think she wanted to bang?''

I realised this was a come on so I texted her when I got back to help me pack, then when she replied I said we could do other fun stuff rather than packing. She agreed to come over so I went to go pick her up. It was already 12.30am and she had class at 8am and had been in class for 12 hours straight.

She clearly wanted to bang right?

When I got her in the cab I made a bit of chit chat made her laugh but I didn't kino her enough, i lost confidence.

When we got in the lift in my building I should have kissed her but i didn't. When we got to my room we sat on my bed but her handbag was in the way between us so it was hard to get closer.

Everything I did felt so sleazy even the stuff I was saying. For some reason I had doubt in my mind. I ended up talking myself out of her sleeping with me, I was too scared to just kiss her, I felt I needed to build up to it.

How do I do this? How do I escalate? What do I talk about?

After 40mins she just said she was tired and wanted to go home. I'm a dumba$$ I was too afraid to just kiss her. Ok I wasn't that attracted to her but that's no excuse.

 

[big weezy]

For some reason I felt I couldn't just kiss her out of the blue even though it was pretty obvious what she came for. I always freeze. I seem to have this fear that if you don't build the attraction you can't just go in there and kiss her. She'll pull away. Also I felt she was naive coming cos she seemed like a sweet innocent girl. Maybe it's naivity on my part assuming she didn't know what we're meeting for.

And none of my stuff was working. I felt nervous. You could tell she was losing attraction and respect for me not pulling the trigger but I just couldn't do it. Admittedly I did think about whether I could be bothered cos I'm kinda tired and getting ill but that's still no excuse. I wonder if I was more attracted I woulda just done it cos my raging hormones and attraction for her would just push me through. I felt like a scared little boy. I'm so ashamed of myself.

What should you talk about when she's on your bed and there's this barrier between you? As in her handbag. Should I just move it away and then go for the kiss?

 

[iliketennis]

you just go for it man

 

[asilva732]

weezy, i understand your pain, i just screwed up the same way with a girl. i felt the rapport we had wasnt good enough yet so I didnt push. yet i saw it in her eye that she wanted to stay in my room.
i froze like u man. it sucks, big time, but im already moving on. just gotta get more practice.

 

[alwayslead8821]

Kino would of excalated the situation and broke that barrier. It is really hard to go from just talking to kissing all the sudden. You will usually get shut down also. When you are not touching or anything she is not in that mindset yet. Kino is hard to get used to doing but it works really good. I just start out by playfully pushing her away or touch her shoulder while you are pointing something out. As soon as you do something similar to that it sets of a chain reaction. The kind of reaction you want. Good luck man

 

[ENIGMA16]

you just go for it man

This. There's no way around it; you can waffle all you want, but when it comes down to it you're going to have to make the move and kiss her. Once you do you'll realize that it's not a big deal and the rest of the night will just flow naturally (i.e. when you'll get back to your room you'll just f*ck, and there will be no talking or "gaming" to worry about).

And none of my stuff was working. I felt nervous. You could tell she was losing attraction and respect for me not pulling the trigger but I just couldn't do it. Admittedly I did think about whether I could be bothered cos I'm kinda tired and getting ill but that's still no excuse. I wonder if I was more attracted I woulda just done it cos my raging hormones and attraction for her would just push me through. I felt like a scared little boy. I'm so ashamed of myself.

What should you talk about when she's on your bed and there's this barrier between you? As in her handbag. Should I just move it away and then go for the kiss?

You don't talk about anything. You should've made out with her in the elevator and then there'd be nothing to talk about. You knew as well as she did that you two were supposed to f*ck but you let your doubts and insecurities get the best of you.

All of your excuses (I wasn't that attracted to her, I need to wake up early, etc...) were just bull**** that your fear-addled mind was feeding you to justify your inability to make the move. If you were more attracted you would have less of a chance of making a move because you'd be more fearful.

 

[J. Darko]

Excuse me ladies and gentlemen, but go for it? HUH?

He replied his room wasn't too far and she said she was tired. So...He was rejected.

 

[ENIGMA16]

He replied his room wasn't too far and she said she was tired. So...He was rejected.

She came up...

 

[J. Darko]

She came up...

Yeah, but that was later right? I read his story again, but I believe he was rejected the first time. Then later, when she came over and sat on his bed...Well I agree with you guys there.

I've been in that situation before. Sitting on a girls bed. But she didn't give me any signs like your girl did and it was a friendly sleepover...Anyway, I know that all my senses told me to do it. I mean, you did get horny from that situation, right? It's mother nature telling you to get undressed. Don't make mother nature angry, or she will punish you with regret.

 

[Just a Shot Away]

It's mother nature telling you to get undressed. Don't make mother nature angry, or she will punish you with regret.

Ha! I like that.