Go from girlfriend to friends?

Bling

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:p This is weird as hell... I've been dating my girlfriend for 2 months, and she keeps worrying that if we ever break up, we won't be friends. I assured her we would. I know she isn't breaking up with me, but what does she mean?
 

08aisaac

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Tell her that you aren't going to break up. But if you do, stay friends.
 

Dragonemperor

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ok heres the thing. its with her and there are 2 possibilities
1) She is not secure enough with herself and the thought of losing you scares her. Easily remedied...just reassure her
2) She is interested in someone else, and wants to be with them. However she doesnt want you to be mad with her and likes you enough that she still needs your voice in her life. this is a lil tougher to fix.
 

08aisaac

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This is a tool you can use if you want to be a manipulitive *****.

Girls don't want people to be mad at them. This is their bane. I mean girls will do anything to make sure people aren't mad at them.

So basically once a chick thinks you are mad at them, they will do anyhting to appease you. So if she is wanting to see another guy, then you have to be mad, and not some pushover. This will keep her, of course if you don't want to put up with that ****, then tell her you got to break it off.

Of course this is assuming she is attracted to another man. If she isn't, don't pull that ****. But anger to a chick, is like rejection to a guy, it really causes anxiety.

But like I said, this is soem pretty poerful ****, and since she holds your opinion in such esteem, she will be all torn up if you are angry at her. If you don't want to be in the friends zone after you two break up, then don't be. Girls want friends, they don't want to be on bad terms with anyone.
 

Dragonemperor

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He makes a very good point and it is very true. However another thing to keep in mind when using this. If you pretend to be mad at her her reaction will follow as such. First she will be upset- crying or very quiet
Next she will be apologetic- this is where you will extract your desired result.
BUT
Finally she will be angry....yeah angry- she will somehow find a way to move the issue to make it look like its your fault! avoid this zone at all costs it can shatter a relationship instantly. this process occurs quickly you may have 2 or so days but almost never higher. so remember
Sorrow, Apologies, Anger

Big cycle dont forget it
 

08aisaac

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Yeah I try to make her think I am mad, even though I will say I am not. Then she has no justification in being mad at me. Just don't let any situation get out of control.

All in moderation.
 

B-Lemond

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Originally posted by Dragonemperor
He makes a very good point and it is very true. However another thing to keep in mind when using this. If you pretend to be mad at her her reaction will follow as such. First she will be upset- crying or very quiet
Next she will be apologetic- this is where you will extract your desired result.
BUT
Finally she will be angry....yeah angry- she will somehow find a way to move the issue to make it look like its your fault! avoid this zone at all costs it can shatter a relationship instantly. this process occurs quickly you may have 2 or so days but almost never higher. so remember
Sorrow, Apologies, Anger

Big cycle dont forget it
I personally have never reached the end of the cycle but I did way more than 2 days of apologies. How do you explain that?
 

Dragonemperor

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well nobody is the same...for me one girl would talk to me everyday trying to get me to forgive her...you could see my descripted cycle clearly here. But maybe this girl isnt talkitive and it will take her longer to go through each phase...just my guess but this has happened to me multiple times. Of course maybe im the instigator to my cycle...
 

Zod

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Originally posted by 08aisaac
This is a tool you can use if you want to be a manipulitive *****.

Girls don't want people to be mad at them. This is their bane. I mean girls will do anything to make sure people aren't mad at them.

So basically once a chick thinks you are mad at them, they will do anyhting to appease you. So if she is wanting to see another guy, then you have to be mad, and not some pushover. This will keep her, of course if you don't want to put up with that ****, then tell her you got to break it off.

Of course this is assuming she is attracted to another man. If she isn't, don't pull that ****. But anger to a chick, is like rejection to a guy, it really causes anxiety.

But like I said, this is soem pretty poerful ****, and since she holds your opinion in such esteem, she will be all torn up if you are angry at her. If you don't want to be in the friends zone after you two break up, then don't be. Girls want friends, they don't want to be on bad terms with anyone.
I like this post aisaac.

I have an example of this, although I don't think it's quite intentional.

If anyones been watching the Real World: Austin this is whats happening between Wes and Johanna.
 
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