Go for any girl, or only the ones who are right for you?

[skinnyguy]

I'm getting conflicting advice about approaches.

Some say that you should approach every girl you meet (PUA philosophy...basically you should have no standards at all), while others say you should only go for the ones who are likely to be attracted to you.

Which one is correct?

 

[Dreesy]

How are you supposed to know which ones would be attracted to you without actually going in on all of them?

If you only go in on the ones giving you signals from across the room, you will be severely limiting your scope.

 

[Mike32ct]

I'm getting conflicting advice about approaches.

Some say that you should approach every girl you meet (PUA philosophy...basically you should have no standards at all), while others say you should only go for the ones who are likely to be attracted to you.

Which one is correct?

Depends on your level of experience.

Generally, newbies should do the most (random) approaches. More experienced guys can do less.

After a while, you will develop a pretty good intuition and will be approaching women that are more likely to respond positively. Long term, this is where you want to be, not a "telemarketer" approach machine lol.

 

[TheCWord]

If I could give you a +1 Rep on starting a thread that is actually about seeking advice and improving your game, I would... However, I've neg repped you too many times

I agree with the previous two posters. The only way to know if they are interested or not is to talk to them.

Start slow.

Make eye contact with one girl, then do nothing else. Pat yourself on the back for that.

After you've made eye contact a few times with different girls, make eye contact and hold it. Cool, you're getting more comfortable.

After a few more girls, make eye contact and smile. If she smiles back, it's a bonus. But keep walking.

After a few more girls, smile and say hi. If she says hi back, it's a bonus. But keep walking. You're still just trying to get repetitions here.

Finally, once you're used to all of the above: make eye contact, smile, say hi and if they seem receptive stop and have a casual convo.

Don't ask them out.

It'lll just stress you out if you're out of practice - wondering when to ask for the number, if she has a boyfriend, is she going to reject you, etc. Just have a nice, brief chat and wish her a good day.

Do that a bunch of times. Pay attention for indicators of interest. Don't act on them. Just get used to noticing if a girl is interested.

Once you are in the habit of talking to girls, go ahead and ask for the number. From step 1 to here probably takes several weeks. Give yourself two months to be certain you've built up enough repetitions and gained enough confidence.

Good luck - and remember, if you hit bumps along the way, it's not the end of the world. The universe isn't against you. You don't suck. Keep building up your confidence and talking to women and you'll be ahead of 99% of the other "skinny" guys out there.

I don't think you'll get discouraged, though... if you follow the prescription above I think it will ease you into it enough that you won't overreact to rejections or interactions that don't go optimally.

 

[mbas44]

I agree with the above poster..for me being out of dating for a loooong time(1im 34 btw) suddenly after an experience I had w a girl a month ago where I didnt close the deal(when it was there on a silver platter) had lit a fire under my ass. This week ive gotten 3 numbers, including one just a few minutes ago. Yes, I know numbers dont mean a lot, but its putting yourself out there and seeing what happens. I think I reached a point where I know Im getting a lil older and am tired of holding myself back. all 3 of these numbers I got after minimal interaction btw and Im not a great talker, i pretty much just let these chicks talk while adding in a little to keep them going and they seem more then happy to, then I just have been going for it. Prob not the smoothest approach, but like I said im just saying F it and going for it. I think eventually youll get to that point too, where it doesnt really phase you.

 

[D Wolfgang]

I'm getting conflicting advice about approaches.

Some say that you should approach every girl you meet (PUA philosophy...basically you should have no standards at all), while others say you should only go for the ones who are likely to be attracted to you.

Which one is correct?

Stop ... making ... threads!

Seriously, do you have to make a thread about every thought you have, skinny? Is it so much fun to see your name under a thread? All these threads with little substance. Many of them with serious distortions about "PUA". First of all, this is not a "PUA" forum, we don't push those kind of canned tricks here, and certainly not the videos and seminars. Second, you get things wrong and you don't even care.

Yeah I know, making threads is free and you get a kick out of them.

Why can't people just shut up and learn? THEN post new threads if they have anything valid and substantial to bring to the table? All these nonsense threads are pushing good threads off the front page in just two days.


And this thread is pretty much the same as the one you already posted, just two days ago:

http://www.sosuave.net/forum/showthread.php?t=209285

the PUA community is built on the following: approach as many women as possible, and if you get a number, your PUA has worked.

Your continued use of "PUA" shows you belong to "PUA" forums and probably got banned from them. It also shows that you have taken no time whatsoever to learn about SoSuave, and I can state with 100 percent certainty that you haven't read the DJ Bible and have no respect for that team effort.


Also, what happened to this thread you made three weeks ago:

http://www.sosuave.net/forum/showthread.php?t=208663

"Yay skinnyguy is gone!! What a troll!"

I've decided that I'd rather spend my time doing things that help me rather than spend time on this site.

Follow your own advice. At the very least, stop making thread after thread day after day. Have some common sense. Have some respect. Have some goddamn dignity.

 

[Slickster]

The single biggest mistake I see guys making is not being realistic about the level of women they can attract.

If you consider yourself a 6 or 7 then focus your attention on chicks who are 6's or 7's. Be brutally honest with yourself about it. It's ok to aspire to something higher but in the early going especially you have to limit your scope or you will be blown out of the water over and over.

I work with young people (20 something's) and have coached countless guys in how to get girls. Without fail every single guy sets his sights too high. Obviously every guy wants the HB9. When I direct their attention to a girl on their level they are uninterested at first. However once they make a connection with that girl and things start progressing all sorts of doors begin to open. It's almost like learning to ride a bike with training wheels at first.

There is one guy I have been mentoring for 4 years. He has literally gone from geek to sheik during that time. This past summer I watched him score with a true dime. The hottest girl in the organization and she was chasing him like a lost puppy. We had a great laugh when we spoke about some of the nerdy girls he was hooking up with in the first summer he was with us. It's all part of the process though and he would never be where he is today if he only focused on the hotties he really wanted. Ironically enough he now admits that he's way more attracted to some of those HB7s than he is to chicks who are way hotter. Funny how attraction works sometimes.

Anyhow I guess what I'm trying to say is approach as much as you can in the early going but be selective about it. Don't set yourself up for failure by only going for the hottest chicks you see.

 

[Iceberg]

I'm getting conflicting advice about approaches.

Some say that you should approach every girl you meet (PUA philosophy...basically you should have no standards at all), while others say you should only go for the ones who are likely to be attracted to you.

Which one is correct?

Considering that the only girls who will be attracted to you are the ones that require low standards, I think the path is clear, grasshopper.

 

[Jair213]

I only go for girls that are most receptive to me. Learn how to read body langauge and how to identifie High Interest

 

[skinnyguy]

The single biggest mistake I see guys making is not being realistic about the level of women they can attract.

If you consider yourself a 6 or 7 then focus your attention on chicks who are 6's or 7's. Be brutally honest with yourself about it. It's ok to aspire to something higher but in the early going especially you have to limit your scope or you will be blown out of the water over and over.

I work with young people (20 something's) and have coached countless guys in how to get girls. Without fail every single guy sets his sights too high. Obviously every guy wants the HB9. When I direct their attention to a girl on their level they are uninterested at first. However once they make a connection with that girl and things start progressing all sorts of doors begin to open. It's almost like learning to ride a bike with training wheels at first.

There is one guy I have been mentoring for 4 years. He has literally gone from geek to sheik during that time. This past summer I watched him score with a true dime. The hottest girl in the organization and she was chasing him like a lost puppy. We had a great laugh when we spoke about some of the nerdy girls he was hooking up with in the first summer he was with us. It's all part of the process though and he would never be where he is today if he only focused on the hotties he really wanted. Ironically enough he now admits that he's way more attracted to some of those HB7s than he is to chicks who are way hotter. Funny how attraction works sometimes.

Anyhow I guess what I'm trying to say is approach as much as you can in the early going but be selective about it. Don't set yourself up for failure by only going for the hottest chicks you see.

Best response I've seen so far. My only question is how do I drop my standards? I have a really bad habit...I go to the club and seek out the hotties. Like the girls who are working at the club and doing bottle service, with the bottles of vodka and the fire coming out of them. Lol.

I actually had a "date" a few weeks ago. I met this girl off CL (we didn't exchange pics) but when she came over to my apartment she looked about a HB4 and I tried to get rid of her quickly. Do you think I should have just stuck it out and saw where it went, or should I only focus on the girls I actually like?
I tried really hard to picture myself fvcking her but I just couldn't do it. I didn't want to be in a situation in which we were in bed and I couldn't get it up.

 

[Jair213]

The single biggest mistake I see guys making is not being realistic about the level of women they can attract.

If you consider yourself a 6 or 7 then focus your attention on chicks who are 6's or 7's. Be brutally honest with yourself about it. It's ok to aspire to something higher but in the early going especially you have to limit your scope or you will be blown out of the water over and over.

I work with young people (20 something's) and have coached countless guys in how to get girls. Without fail every single guy sets his sights too high. Obviously every guy wants the HB9. When I direct their attention to a girl on their level they are uninterested at first. However once they make a connection with that girl and things start progressing all sorts of doors begin to open. It's almost like learning to ride a bike with training wheels at first.

There is one guy I have been mentoring for 4 years. He has literally gone from geek to sheik during that time. This past summer I watched him score with a true dime. The hottest girl in the organization and she was chasing him like a lost puppy. We had a great laugh when we spoke about some of the nerdy girls he was hooking up with in the first summer he was with us. It's all part of the process though and he would never be where he is today if he only focused on the hotties he really wanted. Ironically enough he now admits that he's way more attracted to some of those HB7s than he is to chicks who are way hotter. Funny how attraction works sometimes.

Anyhow I guess what I'm trying to say is approach as much as you can in the early going but be selective about it. Don't set yourself up for failure by only going for the hottest chicks you see.

Good stuff. That's has being my mindset.

 

[NewJack]

I'm assuming youre primarily going to be meeting girls on SoSuave, correct?

That is a difficult demographic. hmm...

 

[NewJack]

I disagree with the advice to go for 6s and 7s.

If you rate a girl a 6, its just next to saying you basically dont care for her. What fun is that? Also how desperate are these guys we're talking about? Are they like sex-crazed cave-vampires or something? Desperate virgins, who are one rejection away from suicide?

To each his own, I guess. There is so much cognitive dissonance and internal integrity issues for me personally in going after someone I rate as a '6', that its a no go. Guess we're all different that way.

 

[NewJack]

my theory states that there is no universal 10 or 9 or 8, so the number scale is basically meaningless.

also if you feel sincere attraction to a chick, she will also feel it to you. sexual attraction is always mutual. That doesnt mean she will want to act on it, though, because she is very likely not to be single.... or to be sexually curious at any given moment in time..

nevertheless, if you are *strangely* *deeply* *inexplicably* drawn to her, then she feels that same pull, even though she may not be on the market. Its a Scientific Fact!

 

[iamnobody]

also if you feel sincere attraction to a chick, she will also feel it to you. sexual attraction is always mutual.

yeah, good luck with that crock. So: the reason why the hot chick wants to bang the bum at the corner... Because he wants to bang her.

OP: go for the chick you like, fvck the numbers

 

[skinnyguy]

If I could give you a +1 Rep on starting a thread that is actually about seeking advice and improving your game, I would... However, I've neg repped you too many times

Luckily, I have a life outside of this forum and don't care what guys like you think of me.

I will try to do the "approach but don't ask for numbers" thing. I think it could work.

I'm still reeling from this incident 2 months ago when I asked this hot chick if she wanted to go to dinner and she made some lame excuse not to go. I haven't really asked out anyone I like since then.

 

[countwoofoolah]

I'm assuming youre primarily going to be meeting girls on SoSuave, correct?

That is a difficult demographic. hmm...

Too....funny!!!....Ha....ha....haaa!!!

 

[JaegerPilot217]

Depends on your level of experience.

Generally, newbies should do the most (random) approaches. More experienced guys can do less.

After a while, you will develop a pretty good intuition and will be approaching women that are more likely to respond positively. Long term, this is where you want to be, not a "telemarketer" approach machine lol.

yeah newbies should approach even girls they are not attracted to