This is a consolidated reply, due to the posting limitations of this board:
so how can you tell her to pay without being a poor man ?
I don’t agree with not paying for a formal date. You can always do a coffee date or something, or, rather than ask her to pay, just “hang out” in what I call “L-II isolation.” (L-II = “friendship”). If you’re alone, and talking, it’s “dating without dating,” it accomplishes the same purpose, without the pressure on her to put out or reject you. If you can’t make progress in L-II isolation, formalizing it on a “date” won’t help, and who pays will become moot.
also thirty one years ? how old are you ? and how did you discovered the seduction ?!
The “community” was more or less invented to avoid competition from guys like me, who never overcharged, and whose throey blew away a lot of the fake-alpha crap that’s become popular with the media. In 1998, I had been getting laid left and right for a solid ten yars (and decently before that), and just shared what I knew. I saw a market, wrote a few books that sold well, and then the big outfits more or less plagiarized it and crushed me with distribution. Now that they’ve built me an audience of 30 million, I’m here to reclaim it. My latest book is free via my profile link, but I won’t post the link here. The title is my username if people want to search for it. Suffice it to say I’m “excluded” from their little cartel/party. I’m 44 years old and decidedly over the hill.
What do you think is the best way to create attraction in a female you have just met or introduced yourself to?
If you guys are going to run “game,” the reaction of an individual target should be meaningless. Just run your game and let the results take care of themselves. If your results are not doing this, the goal is to make yourself more attractive in general, until they do. I write about the VCABM (Virginal Crash And Burn Mission), followed by “reluctant PUA game” (your soulmate rejected you, so you have to settle for no-strings sex with hot women), which sets you up as a strong PUA. Once there, the best way to deal with any woman you meet is to BE interesting. To that extent, focus on “alpha isolation” and “alpha gimmicks.” Your alpha-gimmick is something unique to you which attracts women. For me, that was tournament chess (I was an aspiring world champion), and when I was over the hill as a chessplayer, I switched to hypnosis, and horseplaying, since I win money at the track (also very alpha). Many men use music this way. Other gimmicks are more sexualized, like massage, but that increases the creep factor. In general, however, if you just TALK to the women, without appearing to care about the outcome, they’ll relax and enjoy your company, and, after a while, wonder why you haven’t made a quick move on them. Just waiting alone will often eliminate 80 percent of your rivals who won’t. If this doesn’t work, just wash, rinse and repeat with the next target, until your time is full with options. Kind of like looking for a job is your job until you find a job.
I generally don't know what to say when talking to women. I'm not nervous or anything but that's keeping me down.
The problem is you don’t understand the Point B. It’s not that you don’t know what to say to women, since you have no problem talking to people normally, but that you don’t know where the “checkmate” is, or how to escalate sexually. This is tough, because the only cure for a lack of sexual experience is sexual experience. Once you get that experience, talking becomes easy. Until then, just take what nature gives you, and accumulate a few LJBFs. If you’re a classic nice guy, one of them may offer up one of her friends, or do the deed herself. Many super-hotties who are sick of PUAs actually find awkward nice guys endearing. You’re at an early stage of your development, so what you’ll learn via the LJBF will more than offset the negativity of being in the “friend zone.” It’s kind of like once you’ve held a real job, job interviewing becomes easier.
As for what to say to them NOW, try to focus on what women like: friends, family, fun, good times, good experience, and build an EMOTIONAL connection without worrying about a sexual outcome. Kind of like the reverse of telling a woman that if she’s good in bed, the guy will come through for her naturally in the relationship. Come through for her emotionally, and she will come through for you sexually, IF you don’t let her exploit you financially, etc.
Is there a way to get out of the friendzone after she has rejected you?
Yes, but it’s not easy. Step one is to stop pursuing her while becoming a TRUE friend. The “friendship” you speak of is not a true friendship, but a one-sided power trip for her. You have to break that by giving her nothing further to reject, and appearing “cool” with the friendship. The next step is to pursue hotter women than her, and share “war stories.” Talking about how well you treat these other, more appreciative women, puts the burden on her to match you with stories about her boyfriends, which of course she won’t. If you’re doing hotter women thanher, and fine with being “just friends,” she will slowly realize you are the one rejecting her, and that there’s no “fun” in rejecting you. Even still, this might not work, but it’s your best shot. Don’t thnk of your LJBF with her as a loss, but as an extra layer on the game you run on other chicks. Make sure to pivot the crap out of her of course.
What book have you written BettorOffSingle?
It’s called Bettor Off Single: Why Commitment Is A Bad Gamble For Men. Do a search or click my profile to find it. It’s free. I use it to promote several other books I’ve written, which are linked to in the header of each page on the 590-page (single-spaced) PDF. The book covers my evolution from AFC to mPUA, and explains the true genesis of the seduction community and its theory, which I began developing in 1985 (see “The Battle Of Kate”), and which was fully mature by 1998.
A ****y & funny line to use is to toss the check at her playfully and say "You get this one, I'll get the next one"
That’s actually rude, and will disappoint a super-elite, who has NO DESPERATION that causes lesser women to tolerarte this. Ever wonder why the 9-10s seem to act diffeerently? They ARE different. Women like a man who knows how to date. I was blessed to be the “secondary” in an MLTR with my high-school girlfriend, who went on a few dozen formal dates with me, as in meals, movies, walks, hanging out, with a single kiss goodbye at the end of each. Learning how to date a woman properly is priceless.
Many of the problems here can be summed up in a single word: IMPATIENCE. Women check for this, also check to see if you change your behavior when you THINK your "game" isn't working, just to see if you're being gneuine or not. A patient, long-term, CONSISTENT approach, be it "AFC" or "PUA" (DJ) will dobetter than being a chameleon.