Lets get this straight - YOU are the one disqualifying yourself by making a bigger deal out of looks than it really is. Women definitely care about looks but they aren't as visually turned on as men are. Its more about the value you project. Sure, being good looking projects one kind of value but there are many others. Sense of humor, attitude and confidence, image, power/fame, and yes in the end how you make her feel will be a huge value (for the cynics out there, your car and wallet are other types of value but you don't want to be the provider).
Some suggestions for you:
Start working out with the goal of increasing strength and size. You will be far less intimidated by other guys if you feel and look like a badass, in fact YOU could end up intimidating them! This is NOT easy and not a "quick" solution (unless you have really good genetics and gain muscle easily) but it is SO worth it for other reasons besides women. Increase your confidence, look better, project more value...
Other than that maybe you should pic a different environment for working on your skills so that you are one on one with a chick, until you become more comfortable with the game and have more confidence.
