Giving but Can't Take

[Thund3rstruck07]

No, that title is not meant to be innuendic in any way. I just have this problem about advice. I give advice to all my guy friends, mostly using experience and some DJ tips. Pook has been a major influence, but not the only one. Every piece of advice I give the friends works like a charm. They get what they are looking for, no less. However, it seems that when i try and take my own advice, it backfires and I never get the result i want. I don't use strategies or anything. I go with the "Catch" mindset (which, for all of you skeptics, does not mean that you go tattoo "I am the Catch" on your genitals). My confidence is through the roof. I always am sure of myself. I dress like a DJ and talk like a DJ. It doesn't seem like enough. I don't even try that hard to get any girl, I just figure they will come to me if i just be passionate about life, which I am. But it's been a long bit of waiting, and I'm wondering if there's something I've missed?

 

[eoin2000]

"My confidence is through the roof. I always am sure of myself. I dress like a DJ and talk like a DJ. It doesn't seem like enough. I don't even try that hard to get any girl, I just figure they will come to me if i just be passionate about life"

It would seem to me that you have managed to build the fire, but have yet to put a flame underneath it. You need, IMO, to approach women more often. Let them experience your good traits in person, rather than impressing the socks off them from 10 paces away. Maybe you are TOO sure of yourself? A little TOO confident perhaps? This may come across as arrogance, from the outside. Also, it is important to remember that getting a woman to be interested should never be your priority (out-wardly AND inwardly). Maybe they SENSE that you are trying to be confident and sure of yourself?

Work on being FUN. Make them want to talk to you, whatever it takes. This works like a charm for me, at any rate.

 

[Thund3rstruck07]

So what you are saying is that I should just have fun? I usually do have fun, but when i do it seems to push girls away. I'm not exactly the most fun person to be around when I'M having fun.

 

[h a r d a s s]

The "Catch" mindset is the most important thing, you will have all the girls chasing you... that being said you probably still don't live and breath it and even if you do, it will take every1 awhile getting used to it. They reject the new you and will want you to stay the way u were. It makes ppl uncomfortable when some1 comes along and breaks their mold... now don't think that you're close to being done with your transformation and dont think that now every1 else needs to think ur great because u think u r. You will continue to become better and better with girls and the cycle won't end until you choose for it to, by settling down :nono:

It might do some good to read Pook's posts "Patience" and "Endure!"

***Yes, definitely have fun, if your not having fun then what's the point??

 

[eoin2000]

By 'fun' i mean something moderate. What is it that you find fun that pushes them away? My idea of fun is anything that makes myself, and others , laugh and relax.

h a r d a s s:
...now don't think that you're close to being done with your transformation and dont think that now every1 else needs to think ur great because u think u r...

Nicely put. Rome was'nt built in a day, after all.

If people cant accept the newly styled you, then you dont need them either. What is important is that you are happy with your life. Remember this.

 

[Thund3rstruck07]

my "idea" of fun is being happy...but it seems like others envy me for being happy...and so it pushes them away and makes them dislike me. When I'm happy others tell me to go away or to shutup. I "Endure" (thanks HA) most, but it does get to me.

 

[MetalFortress]

It's not enough to have a great product. You need to advertise it too. Same goes for being a DJ - you can self improve all you want, but if you don't take the initiative to approach new girls, talk to people etc, nobody will even notice.

Also, nobody pushes anybody away for being too happy, unless they flaunt it in a way to make someone else feel bad, or are trying to be happy around goths. If you are so excessively happy-acting that it's annoying, then people will push you away. If you use your happiness in such a way that those who are around you have their spirits lifted too, then they will fight for your attention, not push you away.

 

[Reed247]

16

YOU ARE 16 AND TO DAMN YOUNG TO WORRY ABOUT THIS CRAP. I AM 22, I HAVE TO START PAYING MORE ATTENTION TO CRAP, BUT AT 16 WHAT ARE YOU THINKING ABOUT THIS CRAP FOR?

WHEN I WAS 16 I NEVER CARED ABOUT ANY GIRLS PERIOD, THEY LOVED ME TO..I HAD GIRLS ON MY BALLS BECAUSE I WASN'T INTERESTED IN PURSUING WOMEN, THEY PURSUED ME, ALL TIME HIGH IN CONFIDENCE.
...WHEN MY CAREER CAME, COLLEGE, ETC, I STARTED BECOMING WORRIED AND CARED MORE, THEN IT BECAME MORE OF A CHALLENGE MEETING GIRLS.

 

[Thund3rstruck07]

lucky you. When you passed out drunk and hit your head on the keyboard, is that what came out? It just seems like senseless babble, R. In reference to what u said, Fortress, I may be a little annoying at times. I don't TRY and flaunt it, but I may be doing it inadvertantly. And maybe when u were 16, u had the girls on your balls, so kudos to you. I don't really care, but if it matters to you, all the more power. Now take your drunken arse on the street and leave the computer ALONE until ur sober.