I'm Joe Dirt
Master Don Juan
I've noticed that way too many people on these forums like to use the phrase "next her!" over silly and often not so meaningful things.
I mean why are you guys so quick to end something and move on to the next girl (or hor as some of you call girls you aren't successful with)?
I know I'm going to get flamed for this, but it seems like almost any girl problem people have here gets answered with "just next her!" How about working things out? Talking about the problem? Communication and honesty are important in a relationship. With any problem, even one that seems big, there are reasons behind it. If two people really care about eachother they will be able to talk it over.
I am not saying give into whatever b.s. she tells ya or yield to her when she has some issue, I'm just saying you have nothing to lose by asking her why is she doing something and asking her if she's willing to change or talk about that behavior so you understand eachother better.
And if you were about to "next her" you have nothing to lose by asking a few questions or having a convo about stuff. Maybe her not calling you for a week or forgetting to call you back was due to a situation at home. So instead of applying some rule "if she doesnt call back in x days 'next her!'", why not call yet another time and ask her whats up?
One time I was about ready to give up on a girl as she hasnt called me in a few days after several days of daily calls. I called her finally on my break at work the following weekend (she stopped calling around monday) and found out she had a fight with her parents and ran away and stayed with a friend for a few days, and that was a very emotional and tough time for her and she didn't wanna put me through that.
Yeah, that sounds like a rare circumstance, but I am sure that occasionaly if not often there are good reasons why a girl hasn't called back. Most people who take all of the advice on this site to heart would have never called the girl in my scenario above again and would've missed out on someone who could be fun to hang out with.
All of this leads me to believe is that in the effort of building your ego and confidence up a lot of people here become arrogant. Yeah, its a great pep talk to say "I am the man and everyone else sucks, bow down to me! I am almighty! Girls are lucky to have a chance to talk to me!" but lets face it, no one is perfect not even the girls, and if you truley care for another person you will give them a chance to work out their issues.
I wonder if this 'next her!' phenomena is a byproduct of DJs here being obsessed with the chase and not focused on the relationship?
Think about this seriously...
Most of us came to this website because we had trouble meeting and dating girls. So naturally we focused on step 1, meeting and asking out girls. In fact we've done such good jobs at learning how to pick up girls we have it down to a science. We all have our routines, our insider knowledge, tricks and tips for every occasion and nearly every situation collected and compiled in various threads. Heck, we even have a bible that teaches us the most proven and tested advice on how to pick up women.
But.........
big problem.......
Do we ever bother to study how to KEEP women?
I don't recall anything resembling a "relationship bible" that teaches us the next logical step: keeping women we like.
Sure there is a lot of relationship advice dispensed here, some if not a lot of it is very good. But still a lot of people here seem like they don't even care about the girls they meet.
Like Black Italian who raves about wanting to bang a chick who is engaged or has a boyfriend or whatever while bragging about how he can pick up 48 girls while I read my 48 Laws of Power book. (Sorry Black Italian, I needed an example! No hard feelings, eh?
)
There are a lot more like him here too who say stuff like "I can go into a club and bang a diff chick every night!" and stuff like that.
I don't doubt that a lot of you can do this. Girls want d1ck, and someone has to give it to them, might as well be you. But do you really care about the girls you meet? Are they important to you?
It doesn't seem so, by the way people are so quick to 'next' them and pick up more. It seems like over the years the regulars here and even some newcomers have become obsessed with chasing and nexting, not keeping and certainly not caring. It seems like all this talk about getting girls to go out with them has dehumanized girls for some people here to the point where they are like commodities traded on an open market and not real people like you and me who have feelings, hopes, dreams, and desires.
It almost looks like guys are 'nexting' girls because they don't want it to be known that they don't know how to handle a difficult situation. Its like running away from the problem into familiar territory (the chase and pickup).
I mean why are you guys so quick to end something and move on to the next girl (or hor as some of you call girls you aren't successful with)?
I know I'm going to get flamed for this, but it seems like almost any girl problem people have here gets answered with "just next her!" How about working things out? Talking about the problem? Communication and honesty are important in a relationship. With any problem, even one that seems big, there are reasons behind it. If two people really care about eachother they will be able to talk it over.
I am not saying give into whatever b.s. she tells ya or yield to her when she has some issue, I'm just saying you have nothing to lose by asking her why is she doing something and asking her if she's willing to change or talk about that behavior so you understand eachother better.
And if you were about to "next her" you have nothing to lose by asking a few questions or having a convo about stuff. Maybe her not calling you for a week or forgetting to call you back was due to a situation at home. So instead of applying some rule "if she doesnt call back in x days 'next her!'", why not call yet another time and ask her whats up?
One time I was about ready to give up on a girl as she hasnt called me in a few days after several days of daily calls. I called her finally on my break at work the following weekend (she stopped calling around monday) and found out she had a fight with her parents and ran away and stayed with a friend for a few days, and that was a very emotional and tough time for her and she didn't wanna put me through that.
Yeah, that sounds like a rare circumstance, but I am sure that occasionaly if not often there are good reasons why a girl hasn't called back. Most people who take all of the advice on this site to heart would have never called the girl in my scenario above again and would've missed out on someone who could be fun to hang out with.
All of this leads me to believe is that in the effort of building your ego and confidence up a lot of people here become arrogant. Yeah, its a great pep talk to say "I am the man and everyone else sucks, bow down to me! I am almighty! Girls are lucky to have a chance to talk to me!" but lets face it, no one is perfect not even the girls, and if you truley care for another person you will give them a chance to work out their issues.
I wonder if this 'next her!' phenomena is a byproduct of DJs here being obsessed with the chase and not focused on the relationship?
Think about this seriously...
Most of us came to this website because we had trouble meeting and dating girls. So naturally we focused on step 1, meeting and asking out girls. In fact we've done such good jobs at learning how to pick up girls we have it down to a science. We all have our routines, our insider knowledge, tricks and tips for every occasion and nearly every situation collected and compiled in various threads. Heck, we even have a bible that teaches us the most proven and tested advice on how to pick up women.
But.........
big problem.......
Do we ever bother to study how to KEEP women?
I don't recall anything resembling a "relationship bible" that teaches us the next logical step: keeping women we like.
Sure there is a lot of relationship advice dispensed here, some if not a lot of it is very good. But still a lot of people here seem like they don't even care about the girls they meet.
Like Black Italian who raves about wanting to bang a chick who is engaged or has a boyfriend or whatever while bragging about how he can pick up 48 girls while I read my 48 Laws of Power book. (Sorry Black Italian, I needed an example! No hard feelings, eh?
)There are a lot more like him here too who say stuff like "I can go into a club and bang a diff chick every night!" and stuff like that.
I don't doubt that a lot of you can do this. Girls want d1ck, and someone has to give it to them, might as well be you. But do you really care about the girls you meet? Are they important to you?
It doesn't seem so, by the way people are so quick to 'next' them and pick up more. It seems like over the years the regulars here and even some newcomers have become obsessed with chasing and nexting, not keeping and certainly not caring. It seems like all this talk about getting girls to go out with them has dehumanized girls for some people here to the point where they are like commodities traded on an open market and not real people like you and me who have feelings, hopes, dreams, and desires.
It almost looks like guys are 'nexting' girls because they don't want it to be known that they don't know how to handle a difficult situation. Its like running away from the problem into familiar territory (the chase and pickup).
