"Give me the week to think about it"

[BPH]

So this is something that just happened, and I feel like this is a bad start, but I want to get your opinions.

I have the big 3 dating apps; Hinge, Bumble, Tinder which I use recreationally and have minimal expectations.

For those uninitiated, on Hinge you get 1 free rose per week, which you can essentially use as a "super like" letting the person you know you like them and giving them the decision to match. There's a section called "standouts" which are basically the "hot/popular" girls in your area, and I usually reserve them for those, which I did today.

The girl matched me, got home from work and the gym later, and started messaging her. Turns out she lives about 15-20 minutes away, so I told her we should grab a drink.

Her response was that she wanted me to "Give her the week to think about it" because she leaves for Cancun in the morning and will be MIA for the week...

Should I just go ahead and write this off now? I don't know if I'm jumping the gun on this but if she has to "think about" whether she wants to go on a date with me isn't that her feeling like she'd be doing me a favor by accepting, rather than because she wants to?

 

[Learning Curve]

So this is something that just happened, and I feel like this is a bad start, but I want to get your opinions.

I have the big 3 dating apps; Hinge, Bumble, Tinder which I use recreationally and have minimal expectations.

For those uninitiated, on Hinge you get 1 free rose per week, which you can essentially use as a "super like" letting the person you know you like them and giving them the decision to match. There's a section called "standouts" which are basically the "hot/popular" girls in your area, and I usually reserve them for those, which I did today.

The girl matched me, got home from work and the gym later, and started messaging her. Turns out she lives about 15-20 minutes away, so I told her we should grab a drink.

Her response was that she wanted me to "Give her the week to think about it" because she leaves for Cancun in the morning and will be MIA for the week...

Should I just go ahead and write this off now? I don't know if I'm jumping the gun on this but if she has to "think about" whether she wants to go on a date with me isn't that her feeling like she'd be doing me a favor by accepting, rather than because she wants to?

Tell her: "i will also think about it and we will be in touch"

On to the next.

 

[Pierce Manhammer]

You have to put yourself in the same mindset as she exists in. She is going to Cancun for a week of drinking, laying on the beach and going out probably with the girls. Do you think for a microsecond that she’s worried about what you think or are going to say? Nope. You’re one of probably 25 guys she has open chats with, you’ve not met yet. Think she’s going to turn down some hot dude in Cancun in the foam cannon pit? You wouldn’t.

She doesn’t give a rats hindquarters at this point and neither should you. You’re doing the classic overthinking men do before even meeting a chick for coffee. Until you touch her she’s pixels, just like you are to her.

Keep swiping.

 

[BPH]

You have to put yourself in the same mindset as she exists in. She is going to Cancun for a week of drinking, laying on the beach and going out probably with the girls. Do you think for a microsecond that she’s worried about what you think or are going to say? Nope. You’re one of probably 25 guys she has open chats with, you’ve not met yet. Think she’s going to turn down some hot dude in Cancun in the foam cannon pit? You wouldn’t.

She doesn’t give a rats hindquarters at this point and neither should you. You’re doing the classic overthinking men do before even meeting a chick for coffee. Until you touch her she’s pixels, just like you are to her.

Keep swiping.

Oh I'm not competing for her attention with Cancun, I know I lose that fight.

But a "yeah that sounds like fun when I get back" versus "give me a week to think about it" just makes me think this is already not worth my time.

 

[Redwood]

Tell her: "i will also think about it and we will be in touch"

On to the next.

This.

 

[SW15]

Should I just go ahead and write this off now?

Yes. You will be long forgotten by the time she gets home from Cancun. I'd also focus more on your in-person approaching.

 

[Macadellic]

Do not take couchsurfing traveling slooots seriously but do have fun with them.

 

[Divorced w 3]

‘No rush, let me know when you get back. Have a great time’ …next

 

[member162951]

Hey @BPH , I think it's possible you may be overreacting.

Turns out she lives about 15-20 minutes away, so I told her we should grab a drink.

Her response was that she wanted me to "Give her the week to think about it" because she leaves for Cancun in the morning and will be MIA for the week...

Not sure why you (and others) are interpreting her response so negatively?

Putting myself in the same scenario (as a woman), it's quite possible that she assumed your invite meant you wanted to grab a drink soon, like within the next few days. So in response she was letting you know that since she was leaving for Cancun the very next morning, she wouldn't be able to meet for a week.

Not that she needed to think about whether or not she wanted to meet. But that she literally couldn't meet because she would be gone.

I do think she could have worded it better and more clearly, but that's what often happens when you communicate by text. The written word (text, email, even forums like this one!) is often ambiguous and as such misinterpreted. I have experienced this myself many times!!

Not only that, but you have never even met this woman, why such an emotional reaction? Like you want to write the whole thing off because she didn't respond the way you expected her to? Again you have never even met this woman, do you not have any other options?

I dunno, I could be off, but why not simply tell her to have a great time and contact you when she returns?

If/when she reaches out, see how you feel then. If she doesn't, no harm no foul. You have plenty of other options.

JMO, but it's online, until you meet in person, anything goes.

Again just my take and a different perspective, more positive than the standard, she didn't jump like a puppy so NEXT. lol

/Teasing...

 

[BillyPilgrim]

Oh I'm not competing for her attention with Cancun, I know I lose that fight.

But a "yeah that sounds like fun when I get back" versus "give me a week to think about it" just makes me think this is already not worth my time.

Yes. You will be long forgotten by the time she gets home from Cancun. I'd also focus more on your in-person approaching.

This. This chick won't be thinking about OP at all during the week. There's nothing about this response that's designed to sustain interest or anything appealing about it at all.

Yes @JoyDivision1990 everyone knows OP will be out of the chick's mind during the vacay. The tone of the response is what's relevant here, and it's a bad tone. As dudes in today's game, we can't afford to miss subtle cues because the attrition of failed interactions does add up eventually. We have to assess odds as best we can, and the worst case scenario is always the lukewarm woman leading dudes on.

And FFS a chick like this is a texting pro, she knows how to be unambiguous over text. You damn well know this too, Cats.

You get your attention fix for the night? Meow.

 

[member162951]

Tell her: "i will also think about it and we will be in touch"

On to the next.

To me this^ sounds spiteful. As in, you need to think about it, okay then I need to think about it!!!

It sounds silly since you literally just asked her to grab a drink! But now suddenly you have to think about it?

I don't know, do what you feel is best BPH, I still think you're overreacting though.

Like I said, it's online. Until you meet in person, anything goes, jmo.

 

[The Duke]

After her response I'd of asked for the number and hit her up after she got back. If she didn't give you her number you know she wasn't interested.

 

[Bingo-Player]

Keep swiping.

Better idea stop swiping , delete the app and start talking to women In real life

OP You need to ask yourself if this girl is such a catch why is she on a dating app ?

It defies all logical sense , she either wants to increase her Cawk funnel or she wants more attention than shes getting IRL or on social media

Both of which are quite worrying

As a swipe app match you have less priority / status in that woman's life than the person who scans her groceries for her

Its a constant uphill battle and a position no valuable man should want to put himself in

Men around the world need to grow some balls delete the swipe apps and demand more from both themselves AND their women

 

[BeExcellent]

Tell her: "i will also think about it and we will be in touch"

On to the next.

Advice from the old lady:
Don't. The above is cringe worthy.

This gentlemen is a shjt test to disqualify dweebs.

The above response sounds but t hurt and thirsty. Just tell her this:

"Cool. Have fun & get a great tan....."

Then ghost her until she hits you up in 10 days after she hasn't heard a peep from you.

 

[Ricky]

The fight for anyones attention nowadays is bad.
Everyone is addicted to their phones

i loved it when guys with the balls to approach women in real life had the huge advantage.

i think it will start to head that way again soon

 

[BPH]

Not only that, but you have never even met this woman, why such an emotional reaction? Like you want to write the whole thing off because she didn't respond the way you expected her to? Again you have never even met this woman, do you not have any other options?

Not getting emotional about it, but I've lived enough life and been with enough women to tell the difference between the ones who are interested and the ones who aren't.

I posted this to see if I'm right in that assumption. She was triple-texting me on Hinge and stuff, but needing to "think about it" is either an ego blow or low interest.

Yes @JoyDivision1990 everyone knows OP will be out of the chick's mind during the vacay. The tone of the response is what's relevant here, and it's a bad tone.

Basically this.

Like I said, it's online. Until you meet in person, anything goes, jmo.

Yeah but that response likely means we won't ever meet in person.

Better idea stop swiping , delete the app and start talking to women In real life

OP You need to ask yourself if this girl is such a catch why is she on a dating app ?

It defies all logical sense , she either wants to increase her Cawk funnel or she wants more attention than shes getting IRL or on social media

Both of which are quite worrying

As a swipe app match you have less priority / status in that woman's life than the person who scans her groceries for her

Its a constant uphill battle and a position no valuable man should want to put himself in

Men around the world need to grow some balls delete the swipe apps and demand more from both themselves AND their women

It's not that deep.

I have the dating apps because I live somewhere that really requires me to go out of my way to meet attractive women - literally...like 20+ miles or so.

They're akin to a video game I play in my downtime when it's slow at work. I expect nothing and am sometimes pleasantly surprised. I just shared this moment to see if SS agrees with me assuming her response is low interest and no longer worth my time.

Also, I'm not looking for a catch - I'm looking for sex. I don't care if she's a catch or not if I find her attractive and she's not trying to lure me somewhere to get robbed I don't really care what her history his.

Advice from the old lady:
Don't. The above is cringe worthy.

This gentlemen is a shjt test to disqualify dweebs.

The above response sounds but t hurt and thirsty. Just tell her this:

"Cool. Have fun & get a great tan....."

Then ghost her until she hits you up in 10 days after she hasn't heard a peep from you.

Finally, for my actual response;

"Have fun, hit me when you're back"
"Thank you... will do!"

And now I don't reply.

 

[Bingo-Player]

It's not that deep.

Oh trust me brother it really is when a woman you've never met has a full circus show running in your head

Demand more !

 

[Learning Curve]

Advice from the old lady:
Don't. The above is cringe worthy.

This gentlemen is a shjt test to disqualify dweebs.

The above response sounds but t hurt and thirsty. Just tell her this:

"Cool. Have fun & get a great tan....."

Then ghost her until she hits you up in 10 days after she hasn't heard a peep from you.

Advice from someone who has been in the game for a long-time.

She is not interested.

The above message, filters the interest and showcases whether she will invest to the conversation and change attitude.

The 21st Century requires filtering of un-interested women. Your response does not filter anything other than him being on the fences and waiting for her to get back in which she will never and probably roam to another guy.

The above messages makes her invest, and it can be converted on the next stage to a fun and playful way and there is many ways to make it interesting.

 

[BeExcellent]

Advice from someone who has been in the game for a long-time.

She is not interested.

The above message, filters the interest and showcases whether she will invest to the conversation and change attitude.

The 21st Century requires filtering of un-interested women. Your response does not filter anything other than him being on the fences and waiting for her to get back in which she will never and probably roam to another guy.

The above messages makes her invest, and it can be converted on the next stage to a fun and playful way and there is many ways to make it interesting.

It doesn't make her invest. Quit drinking the Koolaid.

As a hot chick who constantly has no shortage of male attention (most of it unwanted) for decades I've been in this chick's shoes. Your response does not accomplish what you think it does.

I agree she is likely not interested. However I also know women will in fact act bratty at times to screen desperate guys out & see who can roll with it.

My answer is nonchalant and low investment & takes her bratty comment in stride.

Yours comes off but t hurt. If I gave you a bratty comment like she gave him & I got your response? I'd assume you got your feels hurt, don't understand banter, and have no sense of humor.......*delete/unmatch/etc.*

I thought OP did fine. He passed the shjt test. Her interest level will not be known until later if she pops back up after her trip. No big deal. OP is chill and onto the next without burning the bridge with Cancun bound chick.

A dude with abundance takes brattiness in stride because he is outcome independent.

I am a big proponent of encouraging investment. But you do not imo get the correct way to go about it.

Hot women have more thirsty guys gawking at them than they know what to do with. That is a different landscape than you inhabit. Very early on remaining chill and unaffected is the best way to be. You're never going to 'make' someone invest by some guilt trippy contrived comment.

 

[Learning Curve]

It doesn't make her invest. Quit drinking the Koolaid.

As a hot chick who constantly has no shortage of male attention (most of it unwanted) for decades I've been in this chick's shoes. Your response does not accomplish what you think it does.

I agree she is likely not interested. However I also know women will in fact act bratty at times to screen desperate guys out & see who can roll with it.

My answer is nonchalant and low investment & takes her bratty comment in stride.

Yours comes off but t hurt. If I gave you a bratty comment like she gave him & I got your response? I'd assume you got your feels hurt, don't understand banter, and have no sense of humor.......*delete/unmatch/etc.*

I thought OP did fine. He passed the shjt test. Her interest level will not be known until later if she pops back up after her trip. No big deal. OP is chill and onto the next without burning the bridge with Cancun bound chick.

A dude with abundance takes brattiness in stride because he is outcome independent.

I am a big proponent of encouraging investment. But you do not imo get the correct way to go about it.

Hot women have more thirsty guys gawking at them than they know what to do with. That is a different landscape than you inhabit. Very early on remaining chill and unaffected is the best way to be. You're never going to 'make' someone invest by some guilt trippy contrived comment.

Either way the result is the same.

Interested or not, there is ways to filter women and there is ways to waste your time.

There is ways to trigger non-interest and there is ways to re-establish attraction even from texts.

What you are saying is to simply reply with "Cool. Have fun & get a great tan....." there is not right or wrong here.

I'm not saying your response is wrong, it's fine. He can send that response and move on with his life.

But there is what works. The abundant male, will both ways have a result. Either with one way or with another way.

The whole point is to get results from un-interested women and trigger an interested. This is what we are talking about here.

Unfortunately you are seeing from a perspective of a woman.