Give it to me straight

[Last Man Standing]

She reports that her supply is one of circumstance -an opportunity which came her way via her roommate. If this is true, then it is unlikely that she is an addict because addicts actively seek out a continuation of supply. They do not wait until it "comes their way"

I'm going to burst your bubble, but, oh well!! She took a hit in his bathroom which means that she is carrying the shyt around with her to keep her high going --- which means she took it before she arrived to BB's house!!! Why, if she is a casual user of 5 times, is she carrying it around - and why does she need a hit in the bathroom at someone elses house?? This does not look like casual use? If she only used five times then two of those times were that day?? HUH???
I get really nervous when things don't make sense!!!

You can have feelings for someone who is on drugs, they are still human - but I personally wouldn't trust them!

 

[backbreaker]

I'm going to burst your bubble, but, oh well!! She took a hit in his bathroom which means that she is carrying the shyt around with her to keep her high going --- which means she took it before she arrived to BB's house!!! Why, if she is a casual user of 5 times, is she carrying it around - and why does she need a hit in the bathroom?? This does sound like casual use? If she only used five times then two of those times were that day?? HUH???
I get really nervous when things don't make sense!!!

I take it you've never tried coke LMS? coke is best used sparringly... not like you see in movies blow where you are downing gob ass lines and wasting money.. for a woman or a man for that matter who is a once in a while user... a tute is enough to give them a nice buzz..

Me on the other had would have locked the door, had a line from one wall to the other and would ahve busted out the vaccum cleaner hose. Just kiddin

and i have yet to estblish she did it at my house.. for all I know she could have been doing her makeup and it feel out her wallet.. it was seriosly rolled up... not that it matters where she did it.. I'll ask her when she gets back from work

 

[Last Man Standing]

I'm a beer guy and not into other drugs! Don't know anything about coke or heroin or much else.

I wouldn't ask her any more questions - I would just observe her! You know the signs to look for so why ask?

Why is the dollar rolled up in her purse if she took it at home? May be an indicator that she uses it on the road. Nonetheless, I wouldn't push the issue - you already know she is using - I'm sure she'll be alert to your suspicions and either quit or hide it from you.

 

[gmonster2]

Hi BB , did this girl already know about your past coke use and the fact that u had kicked the habit? Had u discussed it previously?

Just wondering how much she knew and yet she still brought the drugs over to your place? That would be a red flag to me if she already knew you would leave her over it but still couldn't help herself by having some in her bag, that is not an occasional user...

I think the hard line u are taking is the right one. Random drug test is the go if she fails or objects to it , NEXT!

Good luck mate..

 

[st_99]

I agree with LMS, looks like she did a bump in your bathroom.

Thats not good.

 

[jophil28]

I have been in BBs position with a G/f who was occasionally using coke AND she had a drinking problem too.
I tried talking and persuading and pleading and manipulating -all to no avail.
Eventually I said to her that I cannot continue on in a relationship with someone who does coke and gets smashed whenever she goes to visit with her close G/friend in another town. The G/friend was also trying to fix MY G/friend up with another guy.
My Ex G/friend ducked and dodged the issue for a while because she WANTED to have me PLUS the option of getting wasted with her G/friend.
I just stopped calling her and then she left me alone- eventually. No contact..

BB has a "laundry list" of things that he LIKES about this woman, and ONE thing that he does not like. To me we should do whatever we can to support him and her in finding a solution to the problem. If she is willing to quit using and join a program (12 step should do) then I think that they have a very good chance of making it. It is ultimately up to HER to make the next move.

 

[Nighthawk]

As an ex-coke user I think the problem is she will always represent coke to you now. If you fear you might 'relapse' she is likely to make it more likely. In your place I would try to avoid girls with a habit, but life isn't always so simple. If she genuinely can take or leave coke then she will choose you if you ask her nicely... or she may say yes but secretly have a line when you're not around.

 

[Mr.Positive]

Tough situation Backbreaker...I've never used coke, so I can't say anything from that standpoint.

The only thing that would really bother me would be a lack of trust...almost like cheating, but not that serious.

When you posted that she broke down crying when you confronted her, shows she knew she was keeping this from you, and felt guilty about it. Yet..it wasn't enough for her to just not use coke anymore.

Does she know about your past coke use? If it was just a casual thing, she wouldn't have broken down like that. She would have just not used it anymore because she knew your history.

Again, you know more about this than me, so keep posting! Your situation helps those of us if we have to deal with something like this in the future.

 

[backbreaker]

she just woke up.... I'm trying to get all my info in order and not beat a dead horse with her... you keep talking about coke and eventually you will use again. however I asked her where she did the bump and she said in my bathroom, because we were on our way out the door to a movie (Which was true.. at least within 5 mintues) and she finished off what she had in her purse because she didn't want to be transporting drugs in my car. She said it wasn't but a line left anyway but still.

 

[Phyzzle]

I did quit for a gf who asked me to. It wasn't all that hard. Just gotta keep yourself distracted, planning fun things that don't involve the drug.

 

[backbreaker]

exactly. the only times I reallly used is when I got bored and with nothing "better to do".. keep yourself busy, extremely for a month and by then the urges should be reduced dramatically if not gone altogether. i'm to the opint now where it's not even attractive any longer

 

[cordoncordon]

BB, this girl is someone that works at the race track for a living? Exercising horses? First, let me tell you that I trained/owned race horses for 18 years or so in Michigan. Though these were Standardbred harness horses, not the thoroughbreds that you bet on. Anyway, I used to spend my entire days and evenings around the horses and the people who train them, whether it be at my training facility or at the racetrack itself. Now, of course there were many many many girls around who helped out the trainers. THey either paddocked the horses (got them ready to race and took care of them after) or helped around with the daily barn activities.

Most of these girls were slvts, plain and simple. Good for one thing only, fvcking them. In fact we used to call them track slvts. And it was always a game on who could score with what girl. This girl may not be, I'm just saying what most of them were. What I'm trying to say is these girl were of pretty low quality. I would NEVER ever have considered them for a relationship. And I think you'll find that most of the girls and workers in general who help out at the racetracks are like that. Now of course there are exceptions so don't think I am blind here. But if you add in the fact that she is also doing drugs, and COCAINE of all things, I mean wow, I just don't see what you are doing here. If a girl i knew was doing coke, yeah i might F her, but consider her as a potential long term mate? Hell no.

I've read through many of your posts over the months and I have to say I am VERY surprised that you are putting yourself in this situation. Doing a line to go to a movie? That line she fed you about not wanting to transport it doesn't wash either. I mean she had to drive over to your place right? So she transported it then. Anyone who is carrying around a line of coke and a rolled up dollar bill in their purse has used it more than 5 times imo. The type of person who does it 5 times is the type who does it when drunk at a party, or at home with her roomie watching TV, they dont carry it around with them. You are deluding yourself somewhat i feel.

I'm sorry but I just couldn't imagine even considering dating someone who does coke. It would be so foreign and dirty to me. Very low class. I'm not saying she is, but odds are that she is not someone you would want to take home to mom.

Good luck!

 

[backbreaker]

Update:

gave her the test last night when she came here after work. She's at Del Mar right now, and I could walk to del mar if I had to it's so close, and she LIVES in Arcadia, so it's somewhat convient, at least for the next week untl the meet ends, that she comes over here.. although I don't let her every day.

anyway, I told her to come in the bathroom, gave it to her, at first she thought it was a joke, and i told her I'm serious as a heart attack.. take it. I'm sure you will pass, however I have to e 200% that this **** gets nipped in the ass.. I don't take chances and I told you I won't date a druggie.

Once she realized I was serious, she did her thing and passed wtih flying colors. That was the end of that.



still.. i'm loosing up ut still that's not something I'm playing around with

 

[KontrollerX]

Good for you and her backbreaker though I am a bit surprised.

I thought you were going to find some covert way to give her the test so she would never know unless she was guilty and you dumped her but you just came right out with it lol.

 

[backbreaker]

no, I wanted to let her know that I do give a ****. I really don't think it's that big of an issue, and espically that she realizes i'm dead seroius I REALLY don't think it's that big an issue.

 

[Nighthawk]

I'm guessing she rewarded you for your strict qualifying and dominant rule-setting?

 

[Last Man Standing]

no, I wanted to let her know that I do give a ****. I really don't think it's that big of an issue, and espically that she realizes i'm dead seroius I REALLY don't think it's that big an issue.

BB is a real man who is unafraid to make reasonable demands on his girl without being intimidated of losing her!! This is how men are suppose to act!!! Unafraid!

Of course, if you feel you have few options in terms of girls then you will be hesitant to make such demands - but everyone has their limits of what they'll accept and who their comfortable with.

 

[zerocelcius]

I have no advice here. I just want to commend BB for his choices. He along with others has admitted to using and to condemn this girl for it would be hypocritical. I have done some drugs when I was younger and I don't regret it at all. I never done the strong stuff, but I wouldn't want somebody to look at me any less of a person for it. I never became addicted to any of them or really liked any of them. In fact I did Cocaine once and hated it. All it did was sober me up for 30 mins and numb my throat.

Anyway I just wanted to say Respect for giving her a second chance when she did something you have done as well. I hope it works out for you and her. Even if you and her don't progress into a LTR, you can still be happy that you showed her that somebody cares. Just like your ex showed you.

 

[backbreaker]

1. Prison and drugs are the most overrated things in america, both are pushed by the Goverment.. I wouldn't be suprsied if the Federal Goverment was the money behind OZ. Jail, at least Boot Camp or Min Security, hell or even for the most part, medium security, is not ass rape fest.

Cocaine is the most overrated drug on earth. Too many people watch blow.

The most I ever got from using coke was a numb throat and the sniffles, and a nice burst of entergy that lasted for 15 mintues. It's nothing more than an anastetic, hell doctors STILL use it (some) to numb pain


if coke was that damn great of a drug there wouldn't have been a need to make crack.

However like I said, it is what coke can LEAD to that is bad and uncontrollable, which is why I stopped


2. it was my old oneitis, not my ex GF.


3. She's growin on me. Accent and all. Even now, we can go DAYS without talking to each other, however we are starting to see a little more of each other, which I'm not minding. Unlikes most here, a woman has to earn the right to be in a Ltr with me, so when I have them.. they last. how long i dont' know. but I'm content. For the first time (really) I can understand the unrational reality of people like Rollo... LTR's from a standpoint don't make sense.. however I just don't want to be with anyone else right now. When I go out and I see hot women, i mean,.. they are still nice to look at, but she satifies me, keeps in shape and takes care of me..what's the point?