slaog said:
Don't confuse fear with respect. Like in the mafia films where the boss demands respect.. really everybody is terrified of him and he is hated.
You can't make people respect you, you get it by giving people respect.
When I say give freely I'm not saying you have to take sh!t from people I'm saying be nice to people. Give everybody a chance and most normal people will respond by being nicer towards you back. If they don't then have nothing to do with them. Like a good boss will be good to his staff and trust them and give them chances if they are late etc but that doesn't mean he'll keep giving them chances if they mean to be late all the time or if they have a permenant bad attitude.
Ever come across a person who was genuinely nice and went out of his/her way to help you? You would have to like that person. Be nice to somebody and they'll be nice back in 99% of cases...
hahaha if someone is nice to me for no reason at all....
I START LOOKING FOR A REASON.
There is ALWAYS A REASON. NOTHING IS FREE. NOTHING.
So I start looking for a reason...and guess what? Usually a week (at most) later I find that reason.
people are predictable...people are selfish. and so I treat them that way.
Like it says in "the art of war"
You must HOPE FOR THE BEST and I do that...but you must always ALWAYS prepare for the worst. Do you go on a plane without a parachute? No. If nothing bad happens, GOOD. But if something bad happens, you want the parachute. You want to have your back covered.
That's how I live, I think giving freely is good, but you must have invisible iron threads linked to what you gave to snatch it back if you desire it back.
OR
You give freely things that do not matter to you in exchange for something else that you want. One man's treasure could be another man's trash. That's the basis behind trade afterall.
Anyways, thanks for writing the tip, but the way I've been living is good.
It is always better to be feared than to be loved. Feared AND loved is the best, but if you must choose, fear > love.