Give and take doesn't work with women?

[IntermediateDonJuaner]

Ever heard of this phrase "Before you are about to take, you must give" It is also commonly known in sales where we called it as reciprocity. If someone gives you something, they are obliged to return it to you. Even in the 48 laws of power, it is mentione that you should use selective generosity to disarm your victim.

But when it comes to dealing with women, give and take doesn't work. Example, if you take a girl out to dinner and pay for her and buy her lots of gifts and etc, she won't feel attracted to you. And the most terrible thing is "She doesn't feel guilty for taking everything from you and doesn't feel obliged to return them"

Hmm.........Is there any way of giving and taking which could work with women?

 

[xblitz44x]

Women can't help attraction either way. It's not something that you can build or that they can manipulate. It happens, and when it's there, it's there; when it's not, no amount of gifts or dinners or favors will make her feel obligated enough to "CREATE" attraction.

Where they ARE wrong though; is when they accept dates with guys knowing that they aren't attracted to them..as a meal ticket. That's why we have to educate these men in being able to tell the difference.

 

[Francisco d'Anconia]

Although it may seem that the majority of women are professional daters looking for a free dinner, there is a class of woman that understands that the old world ideal that the man pays for everything is outdated.

Excluding radical feminist who believe allowing a man to assist her in any way is somehow degrading, there are women who feel that a relationship is based upon each person contributing their comfortable best to help nurture the relationship. They are usually working women who aren't impressed with a guys portfolio or the type of car he drives.

Knowing this, there are men who inadvertently confuse women by setting out the bait of fine dinners, presents and general supplication as a method of raising a womans interest level without even being in an established relationship with her. Typically these women will allow this because they usually have the mindset general acceptance of people.

They will allow you to pay for things if you make it abundantly clear that 'you are the man and that is what men do.' But guess what, that is not what they want and they may go out on a second date with you to see whether they misjudged your actions. Understand that if you misrepresent yourself again and emote the characteristics of an AFC, she will more than likely get bored with you and break off ties with you.

Stop attempting to show women a good time by leveraging external areas such as movies, restaurants and special little gifts. Get off your @ss and focus on using your own innate talent of having a personality to raise her interest level. The best way to do this is to go on coffee dates. Visit parks or museums. Go anywhere where you are forced to engage her with conversation to raise her interest level.

You will save boat loads of money and you will easily be able to tell if a woman is truly interested in YOU and not what you can give her monetarily.

 

[drZaius09]

Bravo, xblitz. I think if we keep pounding away, their skulls will finally be penetrated and this sh1t will sink in once and for all. ATTRACTION CANNOT BE BUILT. Think of it as an entity. You are not God, you do not have the power to create such things. Once you accept the fact that if attraction does not exist it will NEVER exist, then you will begin to learn how to distinguish between women who are attracted to you and those that are a waste of time.

 

[bp1974]

You are not God, you do not have the power to create such things

IDJ, I really hope that one day you become secure enough in yourself to understand that this is true, and be happy about it.

 

[NewMan]

But when it comes to dealing with women, give and take doesn't work. Example, if you take a girl out to dinner and pay for her and buy her lots of gifts and etc, she won't feel attracted to you. And the most terrible thing is "She doesn't feel guilty for taking everything from you and doesn't feel obliged to return them"

Give and take works in a number of ways - what your talking about, is giving material things in return for sex - or in return for her being attracted to you.

Attraction isn't something your going to buy or trade - it's either there or it's not.

There are some B#tches out there that will get everything they can from you, but not all are like that.

If I've asked a woman out to dinner, I'm doing it in the knowledge that I'm going to pay for her. If I don't want a relationship or just want to bang her, then I'm not going to take her to dinner.

 

[Starman]

of course Give and Take works, but what exactly are you TAKING when you go out on a date with women , GIVE her free meals/gifts??

where is the TAKING??

Normal people understand the reciprocity of give and take

but for WOMEN..when you GIVE them things..they assume you are TAKING from them too

i.e. taking their "generosity" of spending their time with YOU

thats when you have to step up with your $hitkickers..and let women KNOW that their time with you is NOT ENOUGH or even a FAIR EXCHANGE for you to spend you hard earned money on them

They RESPECT a guy who doesnt think their time is worth a dinner/gifts

this is why its such a bad idea to buy women things in exchange for her time with you..because basically you are telling her that its an even exchange

what would you think of a woman who took YOU out on dates and paid for everything???

You would eventually begin to believe that your time is WAAY more valuable than the woman..and that she should be HAPPY you are spending time with her and having her pay for things

same logic with women..you need to disarm their logic that they are better than you, and prove her self as worthy before you start paying for ANYTHING

 

[IntermediateDonJuaner]

What I mean by give and take is this.....

After giving, it is your turn to take. If buying her things, dinners and etc work so well, then I guess a girl won't turn me down on a second date cause she has taken things, dinners, gifts from me and she is obliged to go out with me again.

Think of it this way : Suppose if I wish to get my friends help, I will first take them out to dinner, give them gifts and etc before asking for their help. Then they will be more likely to help me out cause they will feel obligated to do so.

See my point?

So let us say buying her dinner, gifts and etc are going to work, then I guess she will feel guilty to turn me down for a second date. I am now talking in terms of politically correct idea. Cause I've told many people about the theories I got from this site, and all they said are "This thing is crap!. This is the first time I ever heard something so stupid and politically incorrect which doesn't work"

 

[Player_Supreme]

In the 48 laws they were not talking about women. You gotta throw most of that out of the window.

If you treat a ho then you don't know how to treat a ho! If you bow down and start symping then your gonna get played.

 

[simplyme]

What you are talking about can be reduced to giving money and getting sex for it. Sex for money is not too romantic.

 

[00Kevin]

Well.. giving in terms of money doesn't work.

Women today don't know how to appreciate a good man anymore. They don't know how to give to them unconditionally. Women today EXPECT their man to always make them happy. They think it is his job to do so.

I've noticed that the only thing that keeps a woman with you is your attraction level.

In a perfect situation there is no 'give and take' concept. Everything is done unconditionally. If you take a girl out and you pay for it all, don't expect anything in return. Why should you? A man does not take pleasure from what he receives. he takes pleasure from what he gives. unfortunaly most women don't show appreciation for it.

 

[Gangster Of Love]

The Law of Reciprocity does work. Give and Take, or whatever you want to call it will work once you realized WHAT SHE WANTS. She's out for herself, as you are. As Doc Love says, don't focus on your interest on her to gage her interest in you. One has nothing to do with the other.

Remember, as Zig Ziglar, or Dale Carnegie have said, people will only give you what you want after you have given them what they want.

Dinners, expensive dates, attention might be nice, but is that what they really want? Can attractive woman get that from many other guys? Of course, so you wouldn't be the first one tryin' that approach. Are you providing something new, fresh, rare that she's been looking, yet most other men haven't tapped into? Chances are you are not, so she will not respond and give you what you want because you haven't done your part.

What is your role? Your role is to create and amplify attraction, or as someone posted on another thread, "Sparks." Of course, most women won't come out and tell you exactly what they want, probably because they wouldn't be able to tell you. One of the wonders of attraction.

This works the other way around too. We all know of women who complain that they give so much more to their man, yet he doesn't appreciate her. She is no longer creating those "sparks", wich is what he wanted, so he won't reciprocate. We know who has the higher IL there, don't we?

 

[IntermediateDonJuaner]

How about a sense of obligation?

Let us put it this way : If I become a woman now and a guy comes to me and shower me with gifts, flowers, dinners and etc, then I will feel happy to be his gf. Anyway I felt obliged to be his gf as well because it will make me feel bad if I don't.......

This is the basic principle of the law of reciprocity. When someone does something for you, you're going to return it back.

But Gangster of Love said, you have to give them what they want to get what you want in return which is what I disagree a little. I am not flaming him or anyone else, but don't you feel bad if you've taken everything from a guy and yet you turned him down again? I mean that's how I feel if I am a girl........and to check if everyone's psyche is the same, I referred to the book "Influence : Science and Practice" from Robert.B.Cialdini and it is written that everyone psyche is the same.

Hmm.........so what is going on in the mind of woman??? Are they just creatures who are different from us so basic politically correct principles don't work on them? Hmm