Girls with lots of Guy friends

[truthbtold]

I know this topic has been discussed previously, I apologize. So my girlfriend likes to visit her hometown a lot and hang out with her friends. The friends she hangs out with are all guys. Now, I know I shouldn't be insecure about this and girls are allowed to have guy friends, yada yada, but I 'd like to here some thoughts on this given that:
A) these guy friends are what she calls "a bunch of jigalos"
B) She is a freak, has a probable promiscuous past. Slept with me the 2nd time we met, etc,
C) I told her that I can't wait to meet them, she said that there was no way she is bringing me around them.
D) She's says she's been friends with them since High school, she's 30 now.

Things are getting serious b/w me and her, we are talking about moving in and marriage although I 've only been dating her for 4 months. So, I can't just say, who cares, as long as I'm fvcking her and getting what I want and she treats me right, yada yada. I'm being pressed to make a committment soon. She definitely has hi interest level in me, but some people like to have their cake and eat it too, right. Bottom line is, I refuse to walk down the ailse with a slut, and the last thing I want is to be that guy who's in love with this girl who is running around on me, or even that guy who's marrying a girl that's banged a lot of these dudes or basically is just too easy. Thoughts?

 

[I.A.F.Y.B.]

Don't even think about marriage with her only knowing her for 4 months. Who she had sex with in the past is none of your business but, could be a red flag.

Her not wanting to introduce you to her friends is a red flag.

Be aware of her actions and her intentions.

 

[Halloween]

A) No problem! I'm guessing this means these guys often make moves on her. They probably regularly dismiss them as "playful flirting", which I think is totally cool and you should too. No problem there.

B) Also, no problem! I had an honest, mutually respectful 2-year LTR that begun with sleeping together after the first date. Don't judge a girl by a number like that, and especially keep in mind that it takes two to tangle (edit: er, tango).

C) WARNING! Why the hell not?

D) I wouldn't worry about that, either.

Bottom line: If she is pressing you to make a commitment to her but she will not let you meet her friends from high school, something is wrong with your relationship. Meeting these people will show you what kind of a person she is.

...How can you commit to somebody you don't know?

 

[WC2]

I know this topic has been discussed previously, I apologize. So my girlfriend likes to visit her hometown a lot and hang out with her friends. The friends she hangs out with are all guys. Now, I know I shouldn't be insecure about this and girls are allowed to have guy friends, yada yada, but I 'd like to here some thoughts on this given that:
A) these guy friends are what she calls "a bunch of jigalos"
B) She is a freak, has a probable promiscuous past. Slept with me the 2nd time we met, etc,
C) I told her that I can't wait to meet them, she said that there was no way she is bringing me around them.
D) She's says she's been friends with them since High school, she's 30 now.

Things are getting serious b/w me and her, we are talking about moving in and marriage although I 've only been dating her for 4 months. So, I can't just say, who cares, as long as I'm fvcking her and getting what I want and she treats me right, yada yada. I'm being pressed to make a committment soon. She definitely has hi interest level in me, but some people like to have their cake and eat it too, right. Bottom line is, I refuse to walk down the ailse with a slut, and the last thing I want is to be that guy who's in love with this girl who is running around on me, or even that guy who's marrying a girl that's banged a lot of these dudes or basically is just too easy. Thoughts?

I think you should consider why she doesn't want you to meet her friends. What reasons can you think of? I can only think of 3.

1. She is embarrassed of you (not likely)
2. She is embarrassed to show you her friends (not likely)
3. She doesn't want to let the cat out of the bag that she's been with these dudes and she can't flirt with them if you're around.

Honestly, I believe most strongly in the last reason. You said it yourself, she is a promiscuous girl. And she doesn't want to introduce you to her guy friends? Come on, something isn't right here.

I used to date a girl who had a lot of guy friends. And I knew she had sex with one or two of them. Yet, she let me meet them. And she would love to bring me around back in her hometown with high school friends, as if she was showing me off to them.

I don't think you make any rash decisions here, however I would keep my ears open a little bit more. You say you don't want a sl*t as a girlfriend, so I realize you're probably already a little paranoid about it. Don't become jealous, just don't allow your mind to believe that your woman would never do anything wrong to you; because she may. And they all may, depending on the circumstances.

 

[KontrollerX]

1. Girls with a majority of guy friends or who say they get along better with guys to rationalize it are bad news, do not have any kind of emotional attachment to such a chick, they are for fvcking or forgetting. Either works.

Also I'd like to point out if you want a girl with absolutely no guy friends at all or a grand majority of her friends to be female search for such a girl without shame or regret. Life is supposed to be about getting what you want out of it not worrying about other people shaming you for your true desires. Not wanting a girl to have guy friends isn't always necessarily an insecurity. It can also be a preference but indeed such a girl can be hard to find so if you really want such a girl don't commit to any girl you decide to bone until its clear that female friends is all she has and you've deemed the girl worthy of being in a relationship with you.

2. You are a human being with your own needs and wants, you do not get pressed into making a committment with any woman, rather you make a mutual decision to commit if you want a relationship with some chick but if marriage or engagement is not your thing then don't fvcking do it to keep some chick as if you don't want to do it she's clearly not what you want anyway or its just not what you want at that moment with her and if she can't respect that and leaves you over it then fvck her she's selfish and immature and you don't need that kind of disrespect in your life.

3. She refuses to bring you around the guys because she knows your reaction to her touchy feely bullsh!t and their grabbing on her ass and talking dirty to her is just not going to fly with you and you will cut her off.

4. She's probably fvcking one or a few of them.

5. In your future relationships you need to lay out clear ground rules for unacceptable behavior from your girl and if she refuses to comply you don't try and control her, rather you control yourself by walking out of her life and if she comes back around and finally agrees to what you want great, if not adios. You must control the relationships direction a.k.a frame not the woman or else all you will ever end up with is a raw deal.

 

[sodbuster]

Any guy with no guy friends is a looooser who can't fool guys,but may be able to confuse women and be their friend. A WOMAN with no female friends is very likely even more *****y and untrustworthy than the average woman[they don't even like her]. Iron sharpens Iron.

If she has no female friends, she's probably riding a broom to work. If all she has are male friends that you cant meet-she's probably riding one of them on the weekend. Either that, or you will find out she did the football team under the bleachers. There is some reason you can't meet them.

I'd meet the family too. Who knows what attitudes she may have picked up from her mother or father. Keep your eyes and ears open. Marriage is a long term deal-you need to audition your potential partner in more areas than just sexually.

If she's in a rush to tie you down, YOU NEED TO ASK WHY? What will you find out later if you were to wait?:nono:

 

[truthbtold]

update

Not letting me meet her friends is what raised my antenna and prompted me to post this. The rest of the stuff was all just circumstantial until this came up. When I asked her why I coul'dnt meet them and that that was fvckd up that she wouldn't let me meet them she told me; "well its going to be boring", "they're not going act and say the things they normally say to me because they know you're there" and my favorite, "its the same ol bull**** everytime, they get drunk and push me into the corner (of the bar not the dance floor) and grind on me for like 20 minutes and then leave me alone to find other girls" Me: what do you mean grind on you? Her: "act like they're gangbanging me, but its all in good fun, I've known them forever, We've seen each other naked tons of times from playing strip poker."

 

[KidwithSocks]

So stay away

Whats wrong with chicks these days...

 

[shaunuk]

This is red flags all over for me, this ain't the kind of girl you wanna marry. If this was me I'd pretty much start tapering off the relationship.

IMO, simple reason she won't let you meet her friends: she has sex with them, and with you around, she won't be able to fvck them.

 

[Lincoln]

You are a complete fool if you stay with this woman. Yah it is alright if you are getting laid or whatever, but to pursue a relationship with this type of woman is suicide to your reputation.

 

[Darth]

its all in good fun, I've known them forever, We've seen each other naked tons of times from playing strip poker."

You don't want this woman. Find a better one.

 

[Paintballguy]

Girl with a lot of guy friends = stay far far away

 

[MisterMcGee]

Obv in this case, big red flag. I know girls who have lots of guy friends, though, and its not a bad thing in every case

 

[truthbtold]

Thanks for the input, I really appreciate it. So far it sounds like I'm not being paranoid and acting jealous/insecure. I'm going to have to make a decision soon on whether or not to pull the plug on this. We have an awkard situation, we live about 2 hours away and we're both physician residents. She's in the process of transferring to a different program closer to me, which isn't easy to do during residency. It also partly explains why were moving so fast, with our schedules and this distance its really hard to see each other. If we are going to move closer together, she's got to switch programs and do it soon before its too late. So that does show a lot of devotion on her part. But, even sluts fall in love and like I said before, some people like to have their cake and eat it too. Is there anyone out there that thinks I'm overreacting to this guy friend situation?

 

[Atom Smasher]

Trust us, being involved with a woman who maintains a majority of male friends will always lead to disaster. Do yourself a favor and move on. You will unleash untold suffering on yourself if you involve yourself with her.

 

[sodbuster]

If you can't meet them and drink with them-deals off