Girls with BFs (Merged threads)

[ColdNight]

Lay back and relax. Act indifferent about the situation. If you show that you're bothered about it you'll only make things worse and prolong her alleged "break up" with her boyfriend.

Of course, she could be feeding you a pack of lies. Or, she might not.

Either way, acting differently just because she is different from your regular single girl would be suicide - showing it irritates you shows you're interested and given you've just met her, that'd be a fatal mistake to mate.

Play it cool, try not to think about it to much. Take it easy and see what happens. If she ditches the guy, move in. If she doesn't, next her before you become too emotionally attached with a girl that's unavailable. Avoid that viscious circle at all costs.

 

[1-2-3]

Bringing up her bf??

If a girl has a bf and she's talked about the bad aspects of their relationship mainly, should you ever bring him up? like by asking things about their relationship or anything specific she may have mentioned? or is it best to leave him out altogether?

 

[ColdNight]

A big mistake I used to make. Leave him out. No exceptions.

If she talks about him at all then it's bad news. Judge girls on their actions, not words.

 

[Legend]

Never bring the bf up....whenever she talks about him change the subject. Only AFC's will sit there and listen to her talking about her bf.

When a girl brings up her bf to me i just blow it off and act like i did'nt hear her speak. Sure its rude, but it works.

 

[uniassign]

If she brings up the BF, it is PERFECT time for you to destroy the BF.

Couple of favourite lines of mine:

1. Ah, that's great! You seem like a fun girl, so I bet you have GREAT times together with him, because fun is an important part of the relationship. You guys should really have a theme to your wedding, it would be fun!

This is GOLD because you presupposes that relationships are meant to be fun and fits into their frame that it is perfect, but in ALL relationships, everything is not rosy (except at the start). So you are bringing up the negative aspects of the relationship and make her unconsciously compare you with him.

The mention of the wedding reinforces the fact that she is not going to marry him, and thus places a TIME LIMIT on the relationship.

If she mentions the negative parts of the relationship

I pretend I am on the guy's side. I excuse his behaviour to insecurity that he has never been with a girl as wonderful as she is.

eg: Her: He calls me ALL the time wondering where I am.

U: Well, you have to realise that he cares for you a lot. He probably sees you as his perfect woman, and that he is scared of losing you. He is doing this out of LOVE for you. If he doesn't love you, then he wouldn't be calling you 100 times every day. He is probably thinking of you every minute and how he cannot live without you and how he is thinking of marry you so that you won't be separate from him.

The purpose of doing this is to paint the guy in such an AFC light that she loses the desire for him. As we all know that girls are repelled by AFCness. By painting him in such a needy shade, ANYTHING he does will now be interpreted by HER as AFC.

However, there is a FINE line between the above approach and being her emotional tampon. You must be a friend to her (ie: have rapport and trust from her that she will take your interpretation) but yet you must EXPRESS your sexuality. She must see you as a DESIRABLE object. IOW you must not be in the LJBF zone.

 

[jd782]

Well, for starters. If she is dating someone while she is dating you. Dump her. I have been through this myself. Why would you want to "share" a girl with someone else. Esp. if its sexual. If she's still seeing him while seeing you, make sure she NEVER brings him up in front of you. Esp. if she says something positive about him. If she says something negative about him, try to do just the opposite. Without giving in too much.

If I am dating a girl I dont like to hear positive things about their EX's. Or anything at all about them. I never ask. I know this sounds childish, but I feel like they are still attatched with them. And some still are.

 

[becker]

This is interesting because I've been in these situations before. This is one of the most difficult situations to decipher since you never know why the BF was brought up in the first place. Was it to tell you to back off because she is taken, or that she wants someone to just be her shoulder to cry on? Best case scenario would be if her relationship with her BF is on the rocks and she wants someone to sweep her away.

I knew a girl who mentioned her BF to me, but rarely ever brings him up unless a situation absolutely requires her to mention him or else she can't answer. For example, this one girl I know told me she was going to Hawaii. I asked her whether she was going with her family, and she said no, it was with her BF. She could have said "no" only, but it probably would have been a little awkward since it would be a somewhat abrupt answer, and I knew she had a BF anyways.

In general, I try not to bring up the BF, but sometimes I feel it might be ok to do so, especially if you're interested in her and you know she has a shaky relationship. Problem is you can't find out more about her relationship unless you bring up the relationship.

Legend, it's funny, I do exactly what you do.

 

[terminator911]

What next? LEAVER HER THE F*CK ALONE!

That's your next step. Why do you guys let these b!tches treat you like punks? The sad thing about all this is that even though you know she is taken you'd like to pursue her.

WAKE THE F*CK UP! She is using you.

 

[PEACEDJ]

Just like I said before in these forums.... FOLLOW TERMINATORS ADVICE! DO NOT.. I REPEAT DO NOT MESS WITH GIRLS WHO HAVE B/F's! Do yourself a favor and don't end up getting hurt.. next her.

 

[Oxide]

hmm answer this and u will know what to do

"what makes a girl feel better, one toy-boy or two toy-boys?

 

[diplomatic_lies]

-Kill her boyfriend
-Kill her
-Kill both
-Kill both and have sex with their corpses
-Kill their mums too and have sex

 

[k man]

this is what you do. next time you are with her, ask her about her bf situation. be smooth about it...don't make it seem like it bothers you that much, but you have a right to know. if she starts being wishy washy (as she usually is, i suspect), you need to walk out on her. tell her that she needs to decide how she feels, and then let you know. she may get very upset and throw herself at you, etc. it doesn't matter. walk out on her. believe me...at the very least, she will respect you tremendously for not letting yourself get stuck in a situation that is not fair to you, as this obviously is. you need to force her to make a decision. once you walk out on her, do not...i repeat, DO NOT...get in contact with her until she gets in touch with you. it's ok to give her a little time, but if she does not respond positively towards you, then you have your answer and you don't have to waste your time with her. but, if she truly likes you, she will dump her bf because losing you is worse than losing him.

let us know how it goes.

 

[HighLowJack]

The more and more you hang out with her, the more and more your going to become emotionally attached to her. You can’t tell if she’s going to break up with her boy friend. If she doesn’t, then she will have you and him. How is that going to make you feel? Your living in hope that she will. Do you have two girl friends right now? Why didn’t she tell you about the boy friend in the first place? She’s also lying to her boy friend too by the way. Nice huh?

Iv been down this road more times then I should be admitting. The bottom line is, she has a boyfriend, witch means you’re not number one. At best your Number 50% until the other guy is gone. By the way, if they’re fighting all the time, that means they have passion. Woman love passion.

From the sounds of it, you want and more from her then she’s giving you. Never settle for anything but being number one in a romantic relationship………ever!! Plus she lied ones, she can lie again. I’m wondering if she holds the other guys hand too, when there together? She was sorry for lying to you? I’m sure she was. I bet she’s going to be just as sorry for hurting you the next time she does

Don’t give your emotional power to this one. Find another girl who will treat you like number one.

 

[Squy]

Gio's reply.

http://www.sosuave.com/vBulletin/showthread.php?s=&threadid=23136&highlight=boyfriend

Topic: "her boyfriend is in the way. what to do?!"
Started by golf299.

Hey, Golf, let me ask you: what is your best case scenario here?

Do you

1. Want this girl for a one-night stand?

2. Want this girl for a short term fling?

3. Want this girl as a "friend with benefits"?

4. Want this girl for a long term relationship?

If you are going after one of the first three options, then I'd have to ask you if you feel that it's worth it. It's been my experience and I firmly believe that it takes a pretty insecure guy to go after a "taken" girl (in an LTR, engaged, married, etc.) I have had plenty of opportunities to go after "taken" girls, but I chose not to, partly because I have been that guy in the past who was cheated on. I wouldn't want to be a party to causing that kind of pain to another guy. It has never been worth it, just for some cheap f*ck(s). Some will say, if she doesn't cheat with you, she'll just cheat with someone else. Maybe. But that's not my problem. I still have my dignity, you know?

If your goal is for that last choice, you're barking up the wrong tree. Think about a few months from now. You've got this girlfriend and you start to have feelings for her. You guys got together because she was cheating on her boyfriend, sneaking out behind his back, etc. Maybe you asked her out and her boyfriend got jealous so she left him. Now, you've got her. First of all, is this really a trophy to be proud of? Second, like someone said earlier, the very first time she tells you that she's going to go to the library to go study with some guy, maybe get a bite to eat and catch a movie, you're going to go ballistic. Not really a rock-solid foundation for a relationship.

 

[SexPDX]

1-2-3,

It's unclear from what you wrote if you have actually had sex with this woman, that would change my perspective a little.

I disagree with all advice in this thread so far.

Just because she has a BF doesn't mean that she is not into you and does want to hook up. The mistake you made was not DISCUSSING the relationship situation. I used to think an interested girl would not mention a BF and that's wrong. You can even just simply say "what's your relationhship situation?" and let her tell you and you can share your own. You don't even necessarily have to go anywhere with it, she will just feel better that you know.

Just because this girl has a relationship that she places value on keeping doesn't mean she will not hook up with you if you don't present yourself as a REPLACEMENT for her current BF.

I place just as much blame on you for not discussing this as I do her for not telling.

-PDX

 

[Templeton]

Originally posted by diplomatic_lies
-Kill her boyfriend
-Kill her
-Kill both
-Kill both and have sex with their corpses
-Kill their mums too and have sex

Is that stuff legal?

 

[VoodooChild]

Last time I checked.

 

[SoSuave.com]

Moving this to The Archive.

 

[Jizz]

Just basically told this gal that i faniced her, and im not talking to her untill shes single

shes been trying desperatly to put me in the just friends zone, she wants my attention, but im refusing to give it to her

shes got angry and said things like "get out of my life" but i know its for the best that i dont give in and talk to her some more, i know its for the best i stick to the fact that im not gonna talk to her untill shes single

 

[Crowes]

1-2-3,

It's unclear from what you wrote if you have actually had sex with this woman, that would change my perspective a little.

I disagree with all advice in this thread so far.

Just because she has a BF doesn't mean that she is not into you and does want to hook up. The mistake you made was not DISCUSSING the relationship situation. I used to think an interested girl would not mention a BF and that's wrong. You can even just simply say "what's your relationhship situation?" and let her tell you and you can share your own. You don't even necessarily have to go anywhere with it, she will just feel better that you know.

Just because this girl has a relationship that she places value on keeping doesn't mean she will not hook up with you if you don't present yourself as a REPLACEMENT for her current BF.

I place just as much blame on you for not discussing this as I do her for not telling.

-PDX

Nick is gone now, so this is certainly not a shot at him. But if you want to 'discuss' her r'ship situation w/ her, that is fine. But if you do this, think, you are really, really, showing your hand as to where YOU want it to go. Not my choice personally. I ignore BF talk, act as if I didn't hear it. I don't ignore it in my mind, I know what she is doing.

I ignore engaging that talk altogether, if she wants you, she should get the hint.