Girls w/ Boyfriends?

[verb_8]

Alright guys, look, it's been a while since I've visited this site but I'm very glad to now. My question is this...

"Is it really worthwhile trying to pursue a girl who is already taken?"

Here, let me elaborate. There's this girl at work who I just can't stop thinking about. And me being a hunter and all (always in it for the chase of having something I've been told I can't have), I've been trying to do my best to resist her but it's just not working. She's been with her man for about 4-5 years now and has been giving me signs of attraction lately.

What are some of your guys' past experiences with playing this field and what have you learned? Thanks. Peace.

 

[khash]

dont make too big a deal. if you do, she picks on them and will be weird around you. I have dealt with a few chicks in that positino. success rate was about 50%. i failed with half. BUT, the ones i failed with were MY fault. looking back i could have had them. I made too big a deal and made my move WAY too long. If you like this chick, quickly make your move since its fresh. if it doesnt work out.... what do we say around here.................NEEEEEXXXXXTTTT. lol hope it helped bud.

 

[ProtoMan1]

Nope. Forget this girl. Its not a good idea bro.

 

[vazeh]

karma...

im sure you wouldnt want some guy hitting on your girl if you had a gf..

 

[Skilla_Staz]

No guy would want some other punk hitting on his girl. However, shes not your girl, and you're not just any guy. Flirt, but keep it subtle. Don't talk about her boyfriend and her breaking up, don't drop huge "Let's F*ck" bombs. Play it cool. Don't get all flustered because shes got a man. It shows that you're intimidated. It'll end eventually. Will you still be interested then? Who knows.

 

[JHeights83rd]

Ok for girls its the ideal case to find a guy she thinks is 'the one' at a young age, like 18 or 19, in her view it just took her shorter time than all of her friends. but for a guy, if you think you met 'the one' but youre with her for a long time, youll want to sleep around a little more before you tie the knot with her. So she is probably in love with this guy. Plus at work has to be the worst place to meet women unless youre planning to leave your job. But what do you mean signs of attraction. I think alot of you guys on this site gas themselves with this. "oh she said hi to me, she must be really into me"... "oh we laugh and play around..." she might just be being friendly.

Also another issue is that alot of guys think that when a girl in LTR gives signs of attraction shes must be bored with her man, and looking for something new. But as you may know girls can fake interest real easy, to get things. But i know from friends in LTRs with guys and this is it. She shows il so that you think what the average man thinks, so that you respond with attention. They get attention from other guys to keep their relationship fresh. They can go out on a date with you, get you to spend money on them, but they have no intention of leaving their man. Same thing with a man and getting azz. A man can get his azz on the side to keep his LTR fresh, the chick on the side can start thinking hes gonna leave his girl, but in reality his not, hes just keeping his relationship fresh. Ok. So abort

 

[Jariel]

As I've written in another thread recently, it's never a good idea to get involved with a woman in a relationship. Even if she leaves him, there are a lot of emotional ties to break before she can move on.

However, it's not impossible as I've done it many times. Just spend time with her as a friend, flirt with her, have fun while you're together and show her a better time than her boyfriend can show her. Also, pay her a few genuine compliments once in a while. Above all, be laidback and PATIENT, and act like you are keeping her in the friendzone.

 

[Holland]

http://www.bristollair.com/innergame/natureandreality/thetruthaboutwomen/


I'm actually into that right now. You have to be a LOT more persistent (yet act laidback) cause you're going to run into some more resistance and you have to know how to deal with some other situations. But I'm gonna let that chick cheat :rockon:

 

[KillaCam]

If you gotta do it, take it easy, as was said before, don't go dropping any straight-to-the-point bombs, just be casual.

Although, should you do successfully get this woman, be prepared for one angry son of a ***** to come after you, and kick your ass. On top of that, you will have an emotional wreck of a girl by your side.

Or save yourself from something called "Karma", toughen up, and move to the next girl.

 

[aftershock]

ALL WOMEN ARE SINGLE.

Thats how you should think.

 

[verb_8]

You know, the people on this forum never fail to impress. You've all been very helpful and I'm very clear on my decision from here on forward. Thanks again and I look forward to the future with this forum. Peace.

 

[rocketman1]

All's fair in love and war

Hey, if you really like a girl, go after her! Who cares if she has a boyfriend, she is not married! Some guys think if a girl has a boyfriend, it's the same as if she was married! She is only in a commited relationship if she is married! If she has a boyfriend she has not taken any wedding vows. I heard a statistic that most women who have boyfriends are not really into the guy that much. They just want someone to go out with on the weekends. I also heard that most women won't break up with their boyfriends till somebody else better comes along. They string their boyfriends along, till they meet a guy they really like, that guy they really like, maybe you!

- Paul

 

[Jariel]

I heard a statistic that most women who have boyfriends are not really into the guy that much. They just want someone to go out with on the weekends. I also heard that most women won't break up with their boyfriends till somebody else better comes along. They string their boyfriends along, till they meet a guy they really like, that guy they really like, maybe you!

In my experience, this is all very true! Many of my girlfriends and flings during the past year have been in relationships when we met. I don't see myself as "stealing" them; women have a free will and I was just a better option. Do I sympathise with their boyfriends? Hell no! It's not my fault they let themselves go and lost their appeal or that they took their girls for granted. Besides, if their girl is not happy, it's not fair on the guy either.

As a rule, I won't get involved with my friends' girlfriends and I generally try to avoid any intimacy with women while they're still in a relationship, as I believe she at least owes him the respect of breaking it off. But if a girl is willing to make that sacrifice for me, then it's her choice!

 

[Charm]

Go for it regardless!

 

[MotoXXX]

here is my take on the situation at hand........This little situation just happened to me....I was the guy with the g/f and lil bastards were hittin on her all the time, I dumped the *****, cuz I am not going to deal with that sh!t. Then the next day the little ***** was out with one of them. I will garuntee I will be beating his ass, why you ask? Because he was man enough to talk to a chick in a relationship, well he will be man enough to stand toe to toe. But now is part 2, I am now the same guy who I am gonna beat the hell out of. And I will tell her b/f face to face I am trying to F*ck his old lady. If you are gonna do it, be prepared to stand up for what you do. If you are man enough to try and get in her pants be man enough to drop bombs on her old man when he finds out.

 

[WORKEROUTER]

If you can get her, go get her.

If she's attached to her bf though, she won't be responsive to your "game" because she loves HIM...she doesn't need or desire another guy right now.

So what I'm saying is...don't waste your time or get frustrated w/ her. Just move on if she's not responsive.

 

[verb_8]

Yeah, the whole thing's a little crazy now. In the back of my head, I keep hearing the saying..."Don't **** where you eat..." playing over and over. The one thing is this, there have been many times where I've done my best to completely be a **** to her and avoid her at all cost. I've even took advantage of the fact that when you tell her to do something at work, she just CAN'T SAY NO! And every time, she finds someway to come over where I'm standing and either listen to my conversations with others or engage in one with me.

But I have noticed one thing...she's been giving me a taste of my own medicine by making jokes about some of the stuff I do at work lately. You see, I do what I want and at work, I'm definitely known for this. And I think she finds this exciting and just trying out a few puns on me. She laughs at all my jokes and even when I push the envelope per say, she never responds negatively.

I don't know...like I said, "Don't **** where you eat." If something did happen with this girl I would be more in it for the fu ck rather than anything longterm, or maybe she just might have that little thing to keep me. She's definitely one of those girls I just find something very attractive about, as if it were something subconscious, you know? But keep the posts comin' cuz they'll only help. Peace.

 

[Serialized3]

From experience, I've found that girls that are married or have long term boyfriends flirt more than single girls (or girls with short term boyfriends). Don't mistake heavy flirting for "signs of attraction". I've flirted hard with girls at work before and was on the verge of asking them for drinks or whatever and then they bring up their husbands or whatever, after I had assumed they were single. I'm guessing that they do this because they still want to know that they have the power to attract me even if they're taken.

Also, from experience, I've found that you can easily hook up with a girl in serious relationship. They tend to like little adventures from their usual "borefriend" and their routine.

The sure-fire way to hook up with them is to pay no attention to the fact that they have a boyfriend. If they mention their boyfriend, I just counter with this:

Girl: "I have a boyfriend"
me: "I have a german shepard. Wanna see her picture?"
*shows her a picture of his adoreable dog and redirects the conversation*

The mechanics of this is that you just ignore the fact that she has a boyfriend (or says she has a boyfriend) and keep pursuing her as if she was a normal single girl. Just run tight game and she'll be yours for the night.

However, If you're looking for a LTR (and I couldn't understand why some guys would consider it: If she cheated on her boyfriend, she'll cheat on you) I've found that getting them to break up with their boyfriend is somewhat difficult. Some just want a fling and one night stand, while others thing you're the bee's knees and fall in love with you and break up with their boyfriend "for you". This is trouble.

Overall, however, I would say that hooking up with girls with boyfriends is a bad idea. I did that **** when I was younger and I've had one dude come into my work wanting to kick my ass. Later I found out he was armed with a beretta 9mm when he came in to see me, and had considered threatening me with it. Another time I broke up a girl from a relationship with a guy that I found out was a really good guy, and I felt bad about it. I just don't think its worth it. The only scenario I would consider hooking up with a chick in a relationship would be if we both understood it was a ONS and I wouldn't have to see her again (ie we dont go to school or work together)

Date single women.

 

[Maximus Rex]

Why Bother?

I asked this question and and got an astounding ZERO responses to it. So I'll ask you specifically. Why are you wasting your time on available women? Are there ABSOLUTELY no single hot chicks in your town? I mean what do you actually expect to have with this chick? You mentioned "pursuing," her. I take that to mean that you would have to call her, take her out, and do all the normal things you would with a single chick. The only reason why you should even consider giving this chick the time of day is, your absolutely 100% sure that your going to have sex with her. She should also be the one doing the pursuing as far as making the phone calls and making "kicking it plans." All your doing is "feeding the monster," "DON'T FEED THE MONSTER,!!!"

Even if she did leave her man for you. What's to stop her from doing the same sh*t to you? Believe me dude to pursue this chick would only create problems and complicate your life. Spend your time, energy, and money (as less of it as possible,) on single available women. You'll be better for it.

 

[verb_8]

Max, I completely agree with you bro. And to everyone who paid their 2 cents, thanks for the advice, it helped tremendously. Take care.