Here is a great post from another forum on the topic of why girls dump guys more than guys dump girls. I think many of you will benefit from reading this. Here it is...
Girls: They unequivocally dump men more often than men dump women.
Why?
Because their feelings change and often are to change back. This is also why when a woman likes a man who is not right for her no amount of logic or rational, tangible benefits or conversation will convince her otherwise until she FEELS that you are a better choice (not thinks).
Looking at all the friends in my life, women definately do it. This isn't really one-sided, because it takes 2, men and women, and from friends, either the girl ends the dating experience OR she ends the relationship or divorce.
Quite often, men can RATIONALIZE (RATIONAL - LIES; i.e. our thinking deludes us) away problems or feelings, putting thoughts FIRST and feelings SECOND, keeping us in a bad situation out of some misguided duty or self-identity issue that makes us want to be HONORABLE and standup people.
False.
A scorned woman is worse than a preying mantis, especially when it comes to the laws in our country. I have a client has had a faux marriage going on 10 years, perhaps doing so only for the benefit of the children and that the costs of 2 separate households is a VERY expensive lifestyle, but recently they have gone through with a divorce. She initiated it AND went a step further by calling the cops about domestic abuse, filing assault charges and getting a restraining order.
He has told me it is all BS and I do believe him. What do you gain in modern society by doing this? In a court of law, they will skew benefits toward the woman.
I learned long ago NOT to take time. The reason it takes time for a MAN is we are not seeing the woman as she is TODAY. A woman is constantly asking herself ABOUT you:
"What have you done for me lately?"
If your recent track record is bad and the relationship is going south, she no longer sees you as the cute, fun, adventurous, inshape guy, she see's you as the worthless, useless, careless, slob you are TODAY and she will move onto a version of the OLD you who has his ish together.
Guys on the other hand finally get sentimental, never listening to their emotions until WAY later. We often subjugate our GUT/feelings to the forms of thought we are raised by. We don't want to be dogs. We believe our nature to protect, provide, and even be noble through our committment is some form of entitlement, a badge, or will our case if she does flake.
This is no different than if a guy tries to give gifts and nice talks with a woman as a means to ATTRACT her from friend status to lovers. A man in a relationship should keep boundaries. Present day media and stupid psychologists with failed relationships are perverting our truths. TOO many divorces are occuring. Too many psychotic breakups and situations are allowed to pass because we sink into the comfort of "HAVING SOMEONE" and thinking we can bare our often crazy souls. False. A person is not your doormat upon which to dump your inner psychosis.
MOVE ON NOW. NEVER WALLOW. I know this is hard, but it is also SIMPLE. There is no magic arrow here. NO CONTACT. Move on IMMEDIATELY. EACH DAY IS YOUR LIFE. DO not lock back on 29 or 30 having wasted it with YOUR MIND in the past and your BODY AND LIFE in the TODAY. You can only live today.
If she isn't calling, reciprocating, giving, caring, texting, and being everything a NEW woman ought to be, DON"T BOTHER!
A slice of my own story...
Years ago during college, my senior year and her junior year, we broke up prior to starting Semester. We moved into our separate places together in a shared UHAUL, making it tougher on me. HER being pissed was a solid enough wall to tolerate my presence without feeling weak or upset. HER anger was enough to shield her off from me and not give into the past or positive emotions.
Needless to say, a few weeks into the semester she was having a grand old time. She would party with our old friends, go off campus, and I even bumped into her on a date! I woke up right there. All of September had passed by with me being asleep! Life and my feelings WOULD NEVER change until I was in the NOW moment. EACH day was and would be another brick on my road to a new future, to redemption, to feeling BETTER.
And I did. In short time I was partying with new friends who matched WHO i was then in my life and I would eventually meet several girls who were better for me. Many months later, around March, April, nearing graduation, my X wanted to open communication and begin anew. Obviously, she was not sentimental that she had lost out on a whole year @ college with me!
Well, I bowed out of her request. I was done for good. I had met girls I was attracted to more so that I had NO bad past with, no issues to leap over, and no worries of who they had been with. I had a sour taste in my mouth because all the positive memories were just that! MEMORIES! How could I see her any differently?
If you roam facebook, you will see how dedicated women are to their feelings. You will also see that they will lie or discard feelings like tissues! I recently had an old X from HS contact me through facebook miserable about her current marriage (5 years dating, 5 years married). She was very nostalgic about our HS relationship and longed for those days. She told me how they were on the bring of divorce and she feels she made a mistake breaking up with me during Freshman year of college.
NEEDLESS to say, I feel creeped out because she is married to a guy I knew from HS and know to be a psycho. I also feel awkward because she is now quite obese, has 2 kids, and is loaded with baggage. I am 29, doing well, and have no baggage. She would talk openly about sex and such, which creeped me out more. I broke off contact. Just recently I have seen how IN LOVE SHE IS WITH HER HUBBY through various channels, including FB.
Imagine being her husband and knowing she did this, talked with an X so openly, downing you, and now you're the center of her world? No man would do that! How could you look her in the face when you make love? When you provide, protect, and care for her and your offspring? YOU COULDNT!
Women are very tricksy, as much as I love them. There's not a one I have EVER known NOT to lie. I have NEVER lied to get my way. EVER. I have been lied to about the severity of situations JUST to get me to do something, whether it was ditch friends, come over, or take care of her. How do you give EVERYTHING, money, life, hand over laws and trust, when someone would lie about the simplest of things?
I wish you the best my friend. Please do not dwell ONE SECOND on a woman who does not want you! IF she isn't banging down the door to hang out, LEAVE her. If she rejects your offers to chill, MOVE ON! Her ACTIONS are all the info you need. Or her LACK of action, meaning, does she call, send tells, reciprocate or PROVIDE affection? No? MOVE ON!
Girls: They unequivocally dump men more often than men dump women.
Why?
Because their feelings change and often are to change back. This is also why when a woman likes a man who is not right for her no amount of logic or rational, tangible benefits or conversation will convince her otherwise until she FEELS that you are a better choice (not thinks).
Looking at all the friends in my life, women definately do it. This isn't really one-sided, because it takes 2, men and women, and from friends, either the girl ends the dating experience OR she ends the relationship or divorce.
Quite often, men can RATIONALIZE (RATIONAL - LIES; i.e. our thinking deludes us) away problems or feelings, putting thoughts FIRST and feelings SECOND, keeping us in a bad situation out of some misguided duty or self-identity issue that makes us want to be HONORABLE and standup people.
False.
A scorned woman is worse than a preying mantis, especially when it comes to the laws in our country. I have a client has had a faux marriage going on 10 years, perhaps doing so only for the benefit of the children and that the costs of 2 separate households is a VERY expensive lifestyle, but recently they have gone through with a divorce. She initiated it AND went a step further by calling the cops about domestic abuse, filing assault charges and getting a restraining order.
He has told me it is all BS and I do believe him. What do you gain in modern society by doing this? In a court of law, they will skew benefits toward the woman.
I learned long ago NOT to take time. The reason it takes time for a MAN is we are not seeing the woman as she is TODAY. A woman is constantly asking herself ABOUT you:
"What have you done for me lately?"
If your recent track record is bad and the relationship is going south, she no longer sees you as the cute, fun, adventurous, inshape guy, she see's you as the worthless, useless, careless, slob you are TODAY and she will move onto a version of the OLD you who has his ish together.
Guys on the other hand finally get sentimental, never listening to their emotions until WAY later. We often subjugate our GUT/feelings to the forms of thought we are raised by. We don't want to be dogs. We believe our nature to protect, provide, and even be noble through our committment is some form of entitlement, a badge, or will our case if she does flake.
This is no different than if a guy tries to give gifts and nice talks with a woman as a means to ATTRACT her from friend status to lovers. A man in a relationship should keep boundaries. Present day media and stupid psychologists with failed relationships are perverting our truths. TOO many divorces are occuring. Too many psychotic breakups and situations are allowed to pass because we sink into the comfort of "HAVING SOMEONE" and thinking we can bare our often crazy souls. False. A person is not your doormat upon which to dump your inner psychosis.
MOVE ON NOW. NEVER WALLOW. I know this is hard, but it is also SIMPLE. There is no magic arrow here. NO CONTACT. Move on IMMEDIATELY. EACH DAY IS YOUR LIFE. DO not lock back on 29 or 30 having wasted it with YOUR MIND in the past and your BODY AND LIFE in the TODAY. You can only live today.
If she isn't calling, reciprocating, giving, caring, texting, and being everything a NEW woman ought to be, DON"T BOTHER!
A slice of my own story...
Years ago during college, my senior year and her junior year, we broke up prior to starting Semester. We moved into our separate places together in a shared UHAUL, making it tougher on me. HER being pissed was a solid enough wall to tolerate my presence without feeling weak or upset. HER anger was enough to shield her off from me and not give into the past or positive emotions.
Needless to say, a few weeks into the semester she was having a grand old time. She would party with our old friends, go off campus, and I even bumped into her on a date! I woke up right there. All of September had passed by with me being asleep! Life and my feelings WOULD NEVER change until I was in the NOW moment. EACH day was and would be another brick on my road to a new future, to redemption, to feeling BETTER.
And I did. In short time I was partying with new friends who matched WHO i was then in my life and I would eventually meet several girls who were better for me. Many months later, around March, April, nearing graduation, my X wanted to open communication and begin anew. Obviously, she was not sentimental that she had lost out on a whole year @ college with me!
Well, I bowed out of her request. I was done for good. I had met girls I was attracted to more so that I had NO bad past with, no issues to leap over, and no worries of who they had been with. I had a sour taste in my mouth because all the positive memories were just that! MEMORIES! How could I see her any differently?
If you roam facebook, you will see how dedicated women are to their feelings. You will also see that they will lie or discard feelings like tissues! I recently had an old X from HS contact me through facebook miserable about her current marriage (5 years dating, 5 years married). She was very nostalgic about our HS relationship and longed for those days. She told me how they were on the bring of divorce and she feels she made a mistake breaking up with me during Freshman year of college.
NEEDLESS to say, I feel creeped out because she is married to a guy I knew from HS and know to be a psycho. I also feel awkward because she is now quite obese, has 2 kids, and is loaded with baggage. I am 29, doing well, and have no baggage. She would talk openly about sex and such, which creeped me out more. I broke off contact. Just recently I have seen how IN LOVE SHE IS WITH HER HUBBY through various channels, including FB.
Imagine being her husband and knowing she did this, talked with an X so openly, downing you, and now you're the center of her world? No man would do that! How could you look her in the face when you make love? When you provide, protect, and care for her and your offspring? YOU COULDNT!
Women are very tricksy, as much as I love them. There's not a one I have EVER known NOT to lie. I have NEVER lied to get my way. EVER. I have been lied to about the severity of situations JUST to get me to do something, whether it was ditch friends, come over, or take care of her. How do you give EVERYTHING, money, life, hand over laws and trust, when someone would lie about the simplest of things?
I wish you the best my friend. Please do not dwell ONE SECOND on a woman who does not want you! IF she isn't banging down the door to hang out, LEAVE her. If she rejects your offers to chill, MOVE ON! Her ACTIONS are all the info you need. Or her LACK of action, meaning, does she call, send tells, reciprocate or PROVIDE affection? No? MOVE ON!
