Girls that are relationship worthy - Your advice for the long run.

[Crissco]

Ive been sleeping around for a while now. Im 25, getting older, honestly dont want to be single forever. I never had a relashionship over 8 months.

While i love it and im good at picking up chicks, im getting sick of it. Was in 3 very short relationships, but there was always something wrong with them that i never felt a good connection with. So i ended it. Just did it for the experience and fun of it really.

Truth is ive been wanting to settle down for a while now, but a little scared to be hurt.

Every girl ive been with doesn't meet up to my expectations though. I always find something wrong with them, and the trust is there is something wrong with them, a red flag(or a couple). Maybe its where im meeting most of them(Online).


How did you know you found someone worth while, who actually is relationship worthy? Do these type of girls even exist?

 

[Greasy Pig]

That's the beauty of putting into practice what this site advises.
You weed out the dead wood quickly, coldly and efficiently until you find a decent one.
You'll learn to recognise bad - and good - behaviour and act accordingly. There are decent women everywhere, you just have to keep "auditioning" them until one wins the part.

 

[backbreaker]

That's the beauty of putting into practice what this site advises.
You weed out the dead wood quickly, coldly and efficiently until you find a decent one.
You'll learn to recognise bad - and good - behaviour and act accordingly. There are decent women everywhere, you just have to keep "auditioning" them until one wins the part.

pretty much this. this is great advise.

the only thing i would add to that is that, never let your need for companionship determine how you treat a woman or how you place a woman. The things you do, the dates, what you know here, how you treat them, will all in their own way unmask both positive and negative traits that a woman will have... to alter or skew the system because you want a particular result in the end, will frankly end up in disaster every time, and to make it worse you can't even blame her because you know better.


This is the one most guys, even here, get wrong. they think y9ou are supposed to treat LTR's differently than you treat regular girls. that's bull****. it's the exact opposite. those are the ones that it's actually most importantly that you don';t skip any steps

like, say i am the president of the united states. I just got elected, and I need to hire a chief of staff. Now, what if i were to tell you that I met a guy, who when I saw his resume, jumped right off the page at me, so much so, that when I met him, instead of vetting him like i vetted the other 100 guys who applied for this job, I just basically gave him the job after meeting with him for 10 minutes. I mean, beucase we treat these type of guys differently than we treat everyone else right? It doesn't make a fvcking lick of sense lol.

no if i am hiring a chief of staff, I'm not only going to make him do everything else I made everyone do, I'm going to dig deeper, I'm going to go Yankee white on that ass lol. If I think this is the guy who will follow me in the situation room when I need to go, when I trust with my life and to hel me run the day to day operations of the white house, and I honestly this this is the man that can do it, I want to know his fav meal when he was 9 years old.

I say that to say, while i know you want a LTR, it is of the utmost importance for you to treat ALL plates equally. Regardless of what you thinks he might end up being, she still has to end up being that on her own, she has to make it there herself on her own merits by passing all your tests. I used a horse racing analogy before, a good trainer gets a good 2YO from a sale and the first day he takes him out, he knows he has a special horse. he knows this is a derby horse. But just because he knows it's a derby horse doesn't mean he can treat the horse any differently than any other horse in the barn..t he horse has to still develop, still train, still learn, if anything he trains it harder to get to the bottom of him, beucase he's going to ask that horse to do things that no other horse in the barn has the talent to do.

I know this post is long, but this to me is the mistake all men our age make; you played the field for a bit, had some nice lays, you want to do something different. I'm not going to say i didn't' feel the same way when i met my wife 4 years ago. I did. very much so. But, this isn't the movies. she still has to become that. she had to still be a plate. she had to show me on a constant basis why she was better than my other plates. and when she, with her actions, not her words, convinced me that she was the better plate, and she became my girlfriend, she had to show me, again, with her actions not her words, why it's conducive for ME to WANT only to open up to her and make myself open, but to put a ring on her finger and be even more open in that regard.

by the time i met my wife i had probably had sex with 15-16 girls in the last 12 months. easily maybe a little bit more. I mean once you've been there the allure somewhat wears off, it's a job basically. But even though i was ready to do something different, I also knew that i couldn't make a girl be something that she isn't. I thought my wife had potential to be something more than these other chicks but still. she had to actually go out and show me everyday. Guys ask me how do you know your wife isn't going to do this or that.. because she's been yankee whited that's why lol. there is not a fvcing thing i don't know about my wife, her motives and her ambitions.

if you can keep that in mind, you will be fine. you'll know.. one plate will just spin harder than the others and keep spinning.

 

[Colossus]

What does "relationship worthy" mean to you?

Finding that out takes time, and reflection. You should, ideally, have a solid mental concept of what the right girl should embody for you. Not so specific that you are chasing a ghost, but not so vague that you can make any girl fit your mold if you get desperate enough. The type of women you choose is a reflection of how much you value yourself.

For me my process goes like this:
1. How do I FEEL about this girl? Am I on fire for her? Lukewarm? Not feeling it?
2. If my attraction is high enough, and her interest is high enough, then I look for early red flags. Obvious stuff.
3. If there are no early red flags, then I can start assessing her for my must-have qualities, and more subtle red flags. This part is ongoing.

I know what I want now because I've been around the block a few times. What I thought I wanted wasnt always the best for me. I experienced. My "gut" feeling now is much more keen with any given woman.

But I wouldnt totally expect you be there at 25 either. Just start with what you know. Make a list of non-negotiable items, or must-have qualities. Be consistent, and remember you need a minimum of 3-6 months before a girl's representative personality dissolves and you see what she's really like. Qualification is an ongoing process. You cant really window shop for it.

 

[Greasy Pig]

Colossus and backbreaker summed up a similar post a while back when someone wrote that you don't buy a car and try to make it your dream vehicle, you just visit a heap of car lots until you find the car you want.
In other words, you wait to buy a Ferrari, you don't buy a crap car and try to put a Ferrari engine in it.

 

[( . )( . )]

How did you know you found someone worth while, who actually is relationship worthy?

Keepers are hard to find. Weeding through mountainous piles of uncouth self entitled Western pig dogs is a painful task, you would almost have better luck winning the lottery now than finding a quality woman.

For me personally if this one doesn't work out I'm probably going overseas next as I'm almost full on "B!tch" bumper stickers and I don't think I have the stomach now for anymore cluster B's with more baggage than an airport who pride themselves on not being able to cook as if feigned retardation and ineptitude of basic life skills is some kind of virtue, and as much as I enjoy eating chicken nuggets every night for dinner there should be a line. 1 type of food group 24/7 must be a new thing with these sluts which I obviously missed the memo on.

Anyways I digress, here's what tipped me off I was on to a winner with my current woman.

* No facebook.
* Strict Greek orthodox upbringing.
* 1 partner before me.
* Happy upbringing, no divorced parents.
* Father puts my masculinity and drive to shame.
* Cooks and cleans with a smile.
* Stays in shape.
* Feminine.
* Performs a traditional woman's job role. (Not a pantsuit wearing kunt, in a non productive liberal filler job)

I could list plenty more but that's possibly borderline bragging and I don't want to jinx it. Good luck on your quest, your going to need it.

 

[Greasy Pig]

^^^, still laughing at that post. Very well written! Classic.

 

[backbreaker]

Keepers are hard to find. Weeding through mountainous piles of uncouth self entitled Western pig dogs is a painful task, you would almost have better luck winning the lottery now than finding a quality woman.

For me personally if this one doesn't work out I'm probably going overseas next as I'm almost full on "B!tch" bumper stickers and I don't think I have the stomach now for anymore cluster B's with more baggage than an airport who pride themselves on not being able to cook as if feigned retardation and ineptitude of basic life skills is some kind of virtue, and as much as I enjoy eating chicken nuggets every night for dinner there should be a line. 1 type of food group 24/7 must be a new thing with these sluts which I obviously missed the memo on.

Anyways I digress, here's what tipped me off I was on to a winner with my current woman.

* No facebook.
* Strict Greek orthodox upbringing.
* 1 partner before me.
* Happy upbringing, no divorced parents.
* Father puts my masculinity and drive to shame.
* Cooks and cleans with a smile.
* Stays in shape.
* Feminine.
* Performs a traditional woman's job role. (Not a pantsuit wearing kunt, in a non productive liberal filler job)

I could list plenty more but that's possibly borderline bragging and I don't want to jinx it. Good luck on your quest, your going to need it.

this post is funny to me beucase the girl that originally brought me here, would be perfectly happy with eating wendy's chicken nuggets and a diet coke for the rest of her life 3 meals a day if you let her. in fact this pretty much is how she has rolled for 90% of her life. it was to the point liek if she said are you hungry, do you want something to eat i can bring it to you when i come over i knew itw as from wendy's without even asking. it's the reason i won't eat wendy's to this day sick and tired of it.

it's sad, she's 29 now, i have a 12 year old sister that literally would run circles around her int he kitchen and that's no exaggeration. she can make hamburgers... that's about it. she's Hispanic and wouldn't know what carne asada was if Pancho villa himself hand wrote a recipe on how to make it..and like the last time i saw her and her husband he jokes about how he has to do the cooking and I mean, my wife can't cook a steak (right) to save her life but i will be damn if she thinks it's cute not be able to cook. she knows she can't cook but that's just beucase.. well she can't cook lol but it's not from a lack of trying she'll try but she will just screw it up. the girl here won't even try.

that to me just rubs me the wrong way. I mean, **** at least try

 

[jhl]

How did you know you found someone worth while, who actually is relationship worthy? Do these type of girls even exist?

You know you found someone worthwhile if you don't ask this question anymore. It's really that simple.