Girls suddenly lose interest, where am I going wrong?

[Squareone]

Hey everyone,

I'm new to the forums and looking forward to being more involved because I love this forum's emphasis on inner game and self-improvement.

Quick background: I broke up with my ex of three years around a year ago and found myself in a position where I had lost contact with my friends and had no real goals in life. Since then I've been working on improving myself through pursuing a career, reconnecting with old friends, and going to parties.

This also means that I've started meeting women and have begun to notice a big snag in my game. It'll be easier to explain if I give an example:

There's a foreign girl from India in one of my classes who hangs out with this other guy and I never talked to until earlier in October when I was waiting on line and recognized her from class.

After that she still sits with this guy, but waits up for me after class and starts to join me and my friend on our commute home which is more out of the way for her. Adding on she seems interested, tells me about how guys like to be sexually harassed, starts giving me a nickname, I bust her balls for fun, and she starts calling me an ******* while smiling(always a good sign).

Then this week she did a complete 180 and doesn't even bother to say hi to me, she just leaves with this guy and I'm thinking she's in to him.

So then the question I'm left is why this sudden change? Was she never interested? Or maybe I came off as too aloof and that killed her interest?

There are plenty of women out there so I'm not hung up if I blew it with her, but I've been in basically the same situation for the past year with other women (without a guy) and I have no idea where I'm going wrong or how to overcome this hurdle so it doesn't affect me going forward.

Appreciate any help. I know this is a long-ish post.

 

[JohnChops]

simple. From what I get at here that guy beat you to her. Not every girl will like you, not even the modest amounts of game ran on an uninterested girl will get her. The attraction needs to be there, even if you can attempt to build some, it will never trump her physical/emotional attraction to this other guy.

What im saying, in short terms, you win some and lose some. Better question: does this happen with every girl or just this one girl who seemed to already have an "idea" on who she wanted before she met you.

EDIT: my bad, im still attempting to wake up. what do you do? do you touch them? thats pretty important, do you build any physical attraction on ones that seem interested? Do you dress well? are you dressed to pick up a certain type of woman?

 

[Squareone]

simple. From what I get at here that guy beat you to her. Not every girl will like you, not even the modest amounts of game ran on an uninterested girl will get her. The attraction needs to be there, even if you can attempt to build some, it will never trump her physical/emotional attraction to this other guy.

What im saying, in short terms, you win some and lose some. Better question: does this happen with every girl or just this one girl who seemed to already have an "idea" on who she wanted before she met you.

EDIT: my bad, im still attempting to wake up. what do you do? do you touch them? thats pretty important, do you build any physical attraction on ones that seem interested? Do you dress well? are you dressed to pick up a certain type of woman?

It's cool. My kino could be better, but I know I'm a lot more comfortable with touching women than most men. I don't feel like I dress badly, but sometimes it can be bland. Other than kino and body language, what else is there to physical attraction? I'll try reading some material in case I missed anything.

Over the summer I met a girl through my boy and he tells me she thinks Im datable. When I talk to this girl we seem to hit it off, but then she starts complaining about how no one wants to date her, but when I invite her out she doesn't seem in to my plans and I hate being an emotional tampon, so I move on. Later on I tell her I'm going to a museum she's connected to for a summer class and I'm hoping she can hook me up with a discount. She invites herself to come with me, but then flakes like 5 minutes before we're supposed to meet so I next her.

Now that I've written this stuff down, I'm thinking my problem could be these girls were either never interested or I just wait too long to make a move. Anyone ever have a similar experience?

 

[iamnobody]

You didn't built enough attraction and you waited too long.

 

[DonGorgon]

women meet many new men every day so eventually they will find a dude to replace you thats life

 

[PlayHer Man]

Spine plates.

Its the man's job to initiate the relationship and the woman's job to build the relationship. Don't analyze, don't ask deep questions, down worry about what she thinks or feels. Just boldly try to sleep with her and if you can't do this in a reasonable timeline.. move on.

There is nothing consistent or honest about women. They live to manipulate and their actions are purposely confusing and misleading. The key to winning the game is putting women to work instead of working yourself. Spin plates, flirt, be detached and let the WOMEN compete with each other. Put no effort into proving yourself, explaining yourself or bonding with them.

This is ALL a man needs to do --> Initiate, flirt, and close the deal. Do this constantly. The women will do the rest of the work for you. The AW's will weed themselves out naturally. When out with a woman.. all I do is flirt with her, crack jokes and touch her. FUN is the goal .

I only ask her questions that will help me f*ck her easier such as: "Do you live alone or with roommates?" or "Do you go out a lot?" or "What's your job? What are the hours?". This is ALL I DO. Nothing more until she spreads her legs.

Only after a woman has spread her legs is she worth any significant thought or emotional energy. Until then just flirt and spin plates with complete detachment.

Sex is the rent a woman pays for male attention. Attention is the rent a man pays for sex. If you can live in a place rent free then you will. Likewise.. if a woman can get attention without sex.. she will. What is offered for FREE is always considered lower value.

 

[mbas44]

phm I love your posts even if I dont agree with every word the gist of your messages are always a great reminder and on point.

 

[Squareone]

You didn't built enough attraction and you waited too long.

I was thinking the same thing, especially the latter portion. Lesson learned. Next time I hit it off with someone I'll be more direct at the beginning and see where it goes.

women meet many new men every day so eventually they will find a dude to replace you that's life

True, most cute women I've met have at least one guy orbiting her.

Spine plates.

Its the man's job to initiate the relationship and the woman's job to build the relationship. Don't analyze, don't ask deep questions, down worry about what she thinks or feels. Just boldly try to sleep with her and if you can't do this in a reasonable timeline.. move on.

There is nothing consistent or honest about women. They live to manipulate and their actions are purposely confusing and misleading. The key to winning the game is putting women to work instead of working yourself. Spin plates, flirt, be detached and let the WOMEN compete with each other. Put no effort into proving yourself, explaining yourself or bonding with them.

This is ALL a man needs to do --> Initiate, flirt, and close the deal. Do this constantly. The women will do the rest of the work for you. The AW's will weed themselves out naturally. When out with a woman.. all I do is flirt with her, crack jokes and touch her. FUN is the goal .

I only ask her questions that will help me f*ck her easier such as: "Do you live alone or with roommates?" or "Do you go out a lot?" or "What's your job? What are the hours?". This is ALL I DO. Nothing more until she spreads her legs.

Only after a woman has spread her legs is she worth any significant thought or emotional energy. Until then just flirt and spin plates with complete detachment.

Sex is the rent a woman pays for male attention. Attention is the rent a man pays for sex. If you can live in a place rent free then you will. Likewise.. if a woman can get attention without sex.. she will. What is offered for FREE is always considered lower value.

I'm really glad you posted and brought this up, this is the kind of mindset I'm aiming to achieve. That said, I'm confused about detachment. I've felt like coming off as detached has worked for me on a short-term basis, but then what? Won't the girl just give up and move on to someone else? How do you manage to switch gears and go after her? Do you ever have to?

I could use some work on plate spinning, so I'll work on developing this more.

 

[Trump]

Hey everyone,

I'm new to the forums and looking forward to being more involved because I love this forum's emphasis on inner game and self-improvement.

Quick background: I broke up with my ex of three years around a year ago and found myself in a position where I had lost contact with my friends and had no real goals in life. Since then I've been working on improving myself through pursuing a career, reconnecting with old friends, and going to parties.

This also means that I've started meeting women and have begun to notice a big snag in my game. It'll be easier to explain if I give an example:

There's a foreign girl from India in one of my classes who hangs out with this other guy and I never talked to until earlier in October when I was waiting on line and recognized her from class.

After that she still sits with this guy, but waits up for me after class and starts to join me and my friend on our commute home which is more out of the way for her. Adding on she seems interested, tells me about how guys like to be sexually harassed, starts giving me a nickname, I bust her balls for fun, and she starts calling me an ******* while smiling(always a good sign).

Then this week she did a complete 180 and doesn't even bother to say hi to me, she just leaves with this guy and I'm thinking she's in to him.

So then the question I'm left is why this sudden change? Was she never interested? Or maybe I came off as too aloof and that killed her interest?

Probably little late for this post but bro don't try to analyze or rationalize women behavior.

A woman's whole goal is too make you frustrated and act out emotionally so she can feel proud of her beauty. Now if she can do that without giving sex, she has hit the jackpot. She's is not caring about the 180 change, so why are you.

 

[D Wolfgang]

Squareone, the truth is, you will rarely know what was the matter with that particular girl. There will always be things going on in her life that you don't know about. It could be that you meet her at the wrong point of her life, or the wrong time this particular month. Could be she met someone new, or reconnected with someone, or things moved on with that guy you mention. Could be that you remind a girl of someone else she knew. Could be that you said something that is particularly negative in her mind. Could be someone said something about you. Could be so many things.

There is good advice in SS, but like many will tell you, no advice can increase your chances with that particular girl if she is not interested. It can only increase your chances to get a girl.

It's the same as when you are working in sales. Or when you are looking for a new job. We can give you advice on your CV, preparations, and how to act at job interviews. But you will never see the other applicants, and if a particular interviewer simply doesn't want you for a particular position, there is nothing you can do.

 

[Squareone]

Probably little late for this post but bro don't try to analyze or rationalize women behavior.

A woman's whole goal is too make you frustrated and act out emotionally so she can feel proud of her beauty. Now if she can do that without giving sex, she has hit the jackpot. She's is not caring about the 180 change, so why are you.

I don't care about whether I get this girl or not, but I see where you're coming from about not reading too much in to women. I've done that before and I realize there's never really an answer. I'm just trying to see if my experiences are bad luck or something wrong in my approach/mindset.

Squareone, the truth is, you will rarely know what was the matter with that particular girl. There will always be things going on in her life that you don't know about. It could be that you meet her at the wrong point of her life, or the wrong time this particular month. Could be she met someone new, or reconnected with someone, or things moved on with that guy you mention. Could be that you remind a girl of someone else she knew. Could be that you said something that is particularly negative in her mind. Could be someone said something about you. Could be so many things.

There is good advice in SS, but like many will tell you, no advice can increase your chances with that particular girl if she is not interested. It can only increase your chances to get a girl.

It's the same as when you are working in sales. Or when you are looking for a new job. We can give you advice on your CV, preparations, and how to act at job interviews. But you will never see the other applicants, and if a particular interviewer simply doesn't want you for a particular position, there is nothing you can do.

What got me worried is that this isn't a one-time thing for me, but has happened with pretty much all women who seemed interested recently.

That said I think I got an idea of what to work on. From here on I'll work on flirting with multiple women, building physical attraction, kino, and
not trying to impress others.

 

[nismo-4]

You failed to make a move (amplifying the attraction that was there). Now your princess is in another castle. All because you didn't grab your balls and take charge. You have to make a move. You'll get respect for it. You showed fear...turn off.

Getting a date and a job interview are two very similar events.

Case closed.

 

[VladPatton]

Sometimes there is nothing you can do, and things happen. Girls WILL bounce from guy to guy because they can. Just be detached from their rejections, in fact, expect them. When things go your way, then you get happy, but until then you have to be an automated Nexting machine to keep your sanity. Any other effort of over-thought is just not worth it. Go play GTA5 instead.

 

[Squareone]

You failed to make a move (amplifying the attraction that was there). Now your princess is in another castle. All because you didn't grab your balls and take charge. You have to make a move. You'll get respect for it. You showed fear...turn off.

Getting a date and a job interview are two very similar events.

Case closed.

You're right. I figured flirting and messing around with women would lead somewhere naturally, but I haven't been ballsy enough to make a move because I'm second-guessing myself. From now on I'll make a move when they look in to it and not care about failing.

Sometimes there is nothing you can do, and things happen. Girls WILL bounce from guy to guy because they can. Just be detached from their rejections, in fact, expect them. When things go your way, then you get happy, but until then you have to be an automated Nexting machine to keep your sanity. Any other effort of over-thought is just not worth it. Go play GTA5 instead.

I've been keeping what you said in mind and its helped a lot. I've already forgotten about her and spent the weekend thinking about how to improve myself.

Besides, it looks like I got other prospects coming around this month. We'll see how those turn out.