Girl's night out, guy's night out

[Die Hard]

So a girl wants to be exclusive with you and you let her know that she has to give up girl's night out if she wants your exclusivity.

She agrees but expects you to do the same, you can't go out to the club with your guys anymore..

Do you agree to that?

Just curious how you guys would respond..

I'm fvcking her and I can't stand the idea of her having other guys, that pvssy should be mine alone. But she shows red flags and I don't want to be serious with her. But the only way I can get her to give up guy friends, girl's night out etc. is to become exclusive with her and give up those things myself, right?

She already told me she wants to be exclusive and asked me if I wanted too. I told her we'd talk about it thus weekend.. I'm not sure how to respond..

I don't want to get serious with her or get too attached, she shows too many red flags. But I do want to keep fvcking her and I want to make sure she's not fvcking other guys. How do I accomplish this without getting exclusive and without having to give up my own guy's night out? Sure I could lie to her and do what I want anyway but is lying the only way to accomplish this?

 

[Reyaj]

So a girl wants to be exclusive with you and you let her know that she has to give up girl's night out if she wants your exclusivity.

She agrees but expects you to do the same, you can't go out to the club with your guys anymore..

Do you agree to that?

Just curious how you guys would respond..

I'm fvcking her and I can't stand the idea of her having other guys, that pvssy should be mine alone. But she shows red flags and I don't want to be serious with her. But the only way I can get her to give up guy friends, girl's night out etc. is to become exclusive with her and give up those things myself, right?

She already told me she wants to be exclusive and asked me if I wanted too. I told her we'd talk about it thus weekend.. I'm not sure how to respond..

I don't want to get serious with her or get too attached, she shows too many red flags. But I do want to keep fvcking her and I want to make sure she's not fvcking other guys. How do I accomplish this without getting exclusive and without having to give up my own guy's night out? Sure I could lie to her and do what I want anyway but is lying the only way to accomplish this?

I have the same scenario. Just lie... When you want to go out with your friends or hunt for pvssy say you are working or some bs.

 

[guru1000]

But she shows red flags and I don't want to be serious with her.

What are the red flags which preclude exclusivity?

 

[BetterCallSaul]

I don't want to get serious with her or get too attached, she shows too many red flags. But I do want to keep fvcking her and I want to make sure she's not fvcking other guys. How do I accomplish this without getting exclusive and without having to give up my own guy's night out? Sure I could lie to her and do what I want anyway but is lying the only way to accomplish this?

In short, you won't be able to do this unless you lie to her. Serious commitment to a LTR or marriage is going to require compromise on things sometimes as they come up. Maybe you could try having your guys hang out with her girls; both of you going out together in that environment?

If not, well you know the answer I think.

 

[Alvafe]

i'm on the line of keeping your word, and that is kinda fair, but here the problem is what red flags? also if you expect she will drop all her friend like this you are kinda wrong

 

[sazc]

I have the same scenario. Just lie... When you want to go out with your friends or hunt for pvssy say you are working or some bs.

lol, you are TOO consistent @Reyaj

 

[sazc]

the big question is what red flags. without knowing them, one cant really advise on the subject.

not knowing the red flags, my gut would say - if you see or feel red flags, dont get any more serious then treating her like a plate. but it sounds like you are already on your way to oneitus

 

[zekko]

So a girl wants to be exclusive with you and you let her know that she has to give up girl's night out if she wants your exclusivity.

She agrees but expects you to do the same, you can't go out to the club with your guys anymore.

If you are still wanting to go to the club and pick up girls, maybe you are not ready to be exclusive yet.
If you aren't willing to give up going to the club, I don't think it's fair to ask her to do it.

 

[Julian]

She will break the agreement first guaranteed. And she will justify it in her mind.

 

[Die Hard]

the big question is what red flags. without knowing them, one cant really advise on the subject.

not knowing the red flags, my gut would say - if you see or feel red flags, dont get any more serious then treating her like a plate. but it sounds like you are already on your way to oneitus

What do you mean by treating her like a plate?

Meh, I think being dishonest is the best solution. I don't want to invest in this girl as she is showing too many red flags, so I want to keep her just as a plate next to other plates. But I don't have other plates at the moment so I need to get out more. If I give that up, I will ruin my chances of finding other plates.

But like I said, I dont want her to see other guys. The only way to get that is probably promising her I won't see other girls, but I'll have to lie about it.

Not really my style, but she's the type that would fvck me over so it's probably just a case of me fvcking her over before she does me...

About the red flags, the details don't matter. They're serious red flags, is all you need to know. With all due respect, I don't need any of you to second guess my ability to make that judgement.. She's not LTR material, faaaaaar from it, trust me on that.

 

[sazc]

What do you mean by treating her like a plate?

Meh, I think being dishonest is the best solution. I don't want to invest in this girl as she is showing too many red flags, so I want to keep her just as a plate next to other plates. But I don't have other plates at the moment so I need to get out more. If I give that up, I will ruin my chances of finding other plates.

But like I said, I dont want her to see other guys. The only way to get that is probably promising her I won't see other girls, but I'll have to lie about it.

Not really my style, but she's the type that would fvck me over so it's probably just a case of me fvcking her over before she does me...

About the red flags, the details don't matter. They're serious red flags, is all you need to know. With all due respect, I don't need any of you to second guess my ability to make that judgement.. She's not LTR material, faaaaaar from it, trust me on that.

sounds like you've answered your question then

 

[AJ84]

What do you mean by treating her like a plate?

Meh, I think being dishonest is the best solution. I don't want to invest in this girl as she is showing too many red flags, so I want to keep her just as a plate next to other plates. But I don't have other plates at the moment so I need to get out more. If I give that up, I will ruin my chances of finding other plates.

But like I said, I dont want her to see other guys. The only way to get that is probably promising her I won't see other girls, but I'll have to lie about it.

Not really my style, but she's the type that would fvck me over so it's probably just a case of me fvcking her over before she does me...

About the red flags, the details don't matter. They're serious red flags, is all you need to know. With all due respect, I don't need any of you to second guess my ability to make that judgement.. She's not LTR material, faaaaaar from it, trust me on that.

If you have to lie to get what you want from someone, then you are in that person's frame and actually are making an investment (ie lying) to maintain something that you would not have otherwise. In this case it's her exclusivity and your option to f**k other women behind her back so that she will remain exclusive to you.

But how much of this is due to the fact that you currently don't have any other plates?

If you did would you even bother with this one girl?

I sense some fear here based on not having other options. Lying is almost always based on fear. You don't want her to end up with options before you (by meeting a new guy during a girls' night out) and then be left with no girl and no secs.

Just go meet other girls and not let the fear of losing secs with one girl control the situation, because it's this fear that's given her the upper hand. You're willingness to lie to her rather than lose her and the secs she brings clearly illustrates that she has the power here. And believe me, preventing her from going out to bars with the girls is not going to prevent her from meeting other guys. Do you plan to bar her from using social media as well? If you start trying to control her she will resent it and dump you for a more agreeable guy anyway. Don't waste your time and energy.

Surely you will not wither away and die if you have to wait to have secs again because it ended with a red flag riddled girl who would f**k you over? Be better than that.

 

[guru1000]

Diehard, the solution is simple, not a 007 convoluted raid.

You operate from scarcity and thus invest in how to outmaneuver a girl who, as you say, is not worth her weight.

Over the last few years, you have created threads asking the simplest questions, such as "what to do if a girl takes 24 hours to respond," "how to walk away from a girl with red flags," etc.

You are a vet here yet ask the questions of a newbie. Understandable. From a position of scarcity, you will always be more invested than you need to as you operate from fear not strength.

Instead of responding to the rudimentary question you purport, instead I would encourage you to get into abundance. And if you can't, take a realistic look at yourself and redress the weaknesses that preclude abundance in your life.

Remember, the problem is never the market. The problem is always YOU. Everyday you wake up, there should only be one question: What capital improvement can I effect upon myself today to get better?

Inch by inch, focalize inward and redress, and the outward along with its challenges will take care of itself.

 

[Die Hard]

Good replies guys, thank you...

I need to go to bed so I'll keep it short for now and perhaps post more tomorrow.

I do operate from a position of scarcity but I'm not sure that makes a critical difference. I cannot speak from experience, as I've never really had multiple plates spinning. Sometimes I'm dating two girls at the same time or I have several "contacts" who might go out with me. But I've never been in a situation where I'm fvcking several women on a consisten basis.

In my, perhaps limited experience, I cannot accept the idea that another guy is dating, kissing, fvcking etc. the same girl that I'm fvcking. I would not want to continue fvcking her if I knew about that.

So suppose I came from a position of abundance and had plenty of other girls to fvck, do you think the above would change then? I do not think so... I think even if I fvcked several women at the same time, I would still be disgusted by the idea if I found out one of them was seeing another guy.

Coming from that angle, I think I would act the same to this girl I'm dating right now. I would want her to fvck me and only me, even if I had other options. I would not want her to have girl's night out or have guy friends etc. If she would, I would cut contact with her.

So in that regard, I would feel the same as I do now and treat the situation the same as I do now, no matter if I had several plates spinning or just this one. However, I admit it would be easier for me to cut her loose if she doesn't live up to my expectations. That's obvious..it's more difficult to cut her loose if she's your only source of sex, attention, intimacy or whatever, I realize this.

But I'm not really in a position where I feel I should cut her loose but am too weak to do it. I just want to keep fvcking her, without her meeting other guys. I would want the same thing if I had several other plates spinning. I don't want any of my plates to hang out with other guys. So I'm not sure the scarcity/abundance factor is really important here..

But who am I? Perhaps you guys, who continuously spin several plates, have experienced that you really don't give a flying fvck whether those plates see other guys?

I admit I'm not seeing things totally clearly, so please talk more sense into me if you can

 

[AJ84]

I obvious can't speak for guys who spin plates, but of the many threads that discuss plates it does seem that many of these guys suspect or outright know that their plates are sleeping with other men and don't care because they understand the unrealistic expectation of expecting a plate to provide girlfriend level commitment while they f**k whoever they want, and some guys don't want the hassle of having to hide things and go behind their backs etc.

But let's say that she wants to be your girlfriend and agrees to not go out to bars with her girlfriends, on the premise that you are offering exclusivity. So now on weekends who will she want to spend time with? You, her boyfriend. Who will she expect to text her back when you are 'out with the boys' aka out with another girl? You, her boyfriend. Who will she bring all of her problems to for talk and and support? You, Her boyfriend. Who will she expect more from in all aspects of a typical relationship? You, her boyfriend.

Is it really worth it to go down that road with someone who has red flags, and have to cover your tracks constantly, just for what you think will be exclusive rights to her body? If you don't want her as a girlfriend as you said, then really don't go there with her. It will be a pain in the butt for you.

You want a variety of girls with exclusivity from each of them, like some kind of a harem. Pardon my frankness but at your age this is a very naive, teenage boy way of thinking. It's likely nice to fantisize about that but unless you are a fundie living on some polygamous compound in Utah, what you want will probably never be a reality. You can't manage human behavior like that (which even those polygamist men are realizing as more and more women leave that lifestyle), even if you try to by lying to all of them. People and their emotions and cognition are more complicated than that. You may have to accept that girls who are cool with maintaining a causal hook up situation with you are the type of girls who are not interested in offering you exclusivity. Have fun, wear a condom, and don't expect or promise anything to these girls and make this simple and enjoyable for yourself.

 

[sosousage]

why not lie? girls usually break agrements. they want stable life but they will be the first one to fuk it.

 

[AJ84]

why not lie? girls usually break agrements. they want stable life but they will be the first one to fuk it.

Sorry I don't paint one gender with the same brush so I don't have an answer for you. If your personal experience is that girls usually break their agreements and want a stable life but are the first ones to fuk it up then it's understandable why you would see no problems with lying.

All I can say is that not all girls are like that, just like not all guys lie to their girls and cheat on them.

 

[GT40]

sounds like you've answered your question then

Agreed. This just says you're not ready for a LTR. Why bother ?

 

[Die Hard]

I never said I was.. I just want to keep fvcking her and at the same time make sure she's not seeing other guys.

It's a fundamental concept which will return with all the girls I meet, it's not about this specific girl. If I meet a new chick and have sex with her, I cannot accept the idea of her going with other guys, it disgusts me, even if I only had one date with her and ****ed her just one time. If I'm with her for a second time and would discover that she had sex with another dude in the meanwhile, I would probably not be interested anymore.
It's not about me pursuing an LTR.. It's about her not seeing other guys...

Just because I want her to fvck only ME doesn't mean I want an LTR with her or be serious with her or have an emotional bond with her etc.

So I'm wondering how to facilitate this with girls. Actually, I'm wondering if it's possible at all, without lying anyway.. But since no one here presented a method, I conclude that it's not possible.. Which leaves two options:

1. Stop caring whether a girl sees other guys
2. Only pursue serious relationships with girls

 

[BeExcellent]

No woman is going to except you screwing around while she is faithful. If one does she is a messed up woman who will have loads of other issues.

That isn't rocket science.

You can lie, she will find out & you'll lose out anyway.