Girls can't be AFCs

[HowardRoarkLaughed]

I'm new here and have no influence or respect but I've just gotta say this...

I don't have a problem with a few women participating on this forum here and there, if they make an intellegent and worthwhile contribution. However I want to take issue with them using certain "DJ terms" in totally non-correct and corrupting ways.

Just one example:

Girls can not be AFCs!

Tamales seems like a cool woman, but when she refers to herself as AFC I cringe becuase in my mind the phrase AFC only has meaning when applied to Men. "AFC" means more than just those 3 words....Average-Frustrated-Chump. AFC encapsulates a bigger idea.

In my opinion, an AFC is any Male who when judged by his true attributes, those things inside him who make him who he is, should be doing better with women than he currently is. An AFC may have made a wrong descision which led him down a bad path, or was confused by feminist double-talk early in his development and never recovered, or for whatever reason never developed the self-belief neccessary to overcome his problem. He has unrealized potential, but he is not a bad person.

My AFC definition is congruent with the main ideas on this board and hinges on the presumtion that the Male typically must make his own destiny when it comes to relationships. He must act. For this reason a Female can not be AFC.

Tamales may be average. She may be frustrated. She may even be a Chump. But Tamales is not AFC. As an attractive woman all Tamales has to do is stand around and wait for guys to hit on her. She has the option of Inaction. This is completely opposite of the situation that a Male who is an AFC must live with everyday.

 

[iqqi]

please. we all want, and we are all afc when we can't have it, and don't know how to go about getting it.

 

[MysteryWoman]

I think AFC and DJ are stupid terms. I was attracted to guy once who seemed to have both qualities, he was confident and at times seemed insecure and timid.

 

[WatchMeWalk]

Women have some DJ traits that are granted to them by nature and social conditioning, but otherwise, their mindsets are AFC. Ever opened an issue of Cosmo? It's 90% cosmetic advertisements and 10% articles on obtaining and keeping boyfriends. Ironic how they use both frontal lobes to think and waste it on such drivel.

 

[lerxst]

Average Frustated Chump:
A few typical traits of an AFC - hanging on to just one certain person, supplicating, swallowing whatever crap treatment a person gives them, being afraid to make a move, thinking in terms of "dates", eiter for lack of courage and/or knowledge being unable to do a pick-up or a close.

I think that is applicable to both men and women.

Does that sound like tamales situation? Sure does when she first started coming her. However she does have a tendency to throw it around a little too much than is really good for her. The first step is recognition of being AFC, then once accepting that, you need to acknowledge and move on. One has to stop thinking they are AFC and acting in AFC terms. To start on the path of the DJ, one must leave the AFC that they were in the past. Sure, relapses happen, and some times one's game is not on, but you recognize it, and re-correct. It is a part of the learning process. Trying to DJ and doing something AFC happens sometimes, the key is the DJ recognizes that it's AFCish. An AFC would have no clue what went wrong. tamales should stop thinking of herself as an AFC cause she's moved past that stage.

And I wouldn't say that it's easier for her to pick-up guys, it's different. There are certain societal mores that women have to work against. You say that she doesn't have to act, just stand there and be available. Sure, that is the way women have been told they are supposed to act. But why should a woman just wait around for a guy, instead of trying to actively attracting a man? Sure, for men it's a chore, and for women it's a choice. I think tamales is learning how to choose more wisely. And I'm not certain that she wants to sex as many guys as she can. I think she is looking for ways to make herself more attractive to the quality guys that she wants, i.e. a quality guy with DJ skills who doesn't go all AFC on her. Also, maybe to recognize when she is being played by a DJ. It takes an enlightened woman to recognize the merits and positive attributes of the DJ and to actively seek one out who has these qualities. She's come a ways, but still has a way to go, like many here. As long as she doesn't quit, I'm certain she'll make it to where she wants to be.



Besides, I am John Galt.

 

[G_S]

Originally posted by WatchMeWalk
Ever opened an issue of Cosmo? It's 90% cosmetic advertisements and 10% articles on obtaining and keeping boyfriends. Ironic how they use both frontal lobes to think and waste it on such drivel.

Exactly! Women's magazines worship men. "How to blow his mind in bed," "how to know if he's right for you." "how to.. (makeup BS to make yourself look prettier for him)." It's all about men. Then again, you could argue the same thing about this site.

Several years ago I had two different girls say, "Do you want to be my boyfriend tonight?" and grab me by the arm wedding-style. The first time it happened I was like, "I'll be your boyfriend every night baby." The second time, a few months later, I just looked at her like WTF? This had to been in a women's magazine somewhere.

 

[Dee-Zy]

looks at signature...

nope - I dissagree.

 

[WatchMeWalk]

Originally posted by G_S
Then again, you could argue the same thing about this site.

Yeah, but SoSuave never makes pretences at being something else other than what it is. This place doesn't pass itself as a general purpose men's interest site.

 

[tamales]

Yeah, what lerxt said. Just for the record.

 

[HowardRoarkLaughed]

I understand everyone's position. Thanks for the opinions/feedback.

I guess my overall line-of-thought was:

"Men and Women are different, and go about dating in different ways. Therefore, the terms used to describe the dating process in Men and Women should be different as well."

peace

 

[TesuqueRed]

I dunno...what jumped out at me was how someone had trouble with terms here but used them anyway, which is an experience I have. I came here and--then and now--I ape the words "DJ" and, to a lesser extent "AFC".

These are short-hand terms and are used as such. I don't have to spend time detailing and explaining my personal understanding of "DJ" or "AFC"--no one would care and I wouldn't have time.

I do have a sense of what is meant generally by it here and I use it that way. I put my own spin on it as others do.

Tamales using AFC is a bit of a gender flip here on one level, on another it conforms to my personal sense of what AFC means and perhaps what she meant by it.

Male--female, whatever. As you say, each are different and uses different ways, and should be different. Yes. But the common ground without losing sight of the gender differences is that each is either in self-possession of themselves, confident, happy or seeking it, etc.---or not.

And not = AFC.

Or worse.

 

[The Time Machine]

pressing the blue button...bump!

 

[I.A.F.Y.B.]

Actually, women can be AFC's. You will see that when you date one... She calls you all the time, always has to be with you, buys things for you and ect. It gets annoying after while... Though, atleast you know she is really into you.

 

[Lord Shinra]

I've met alot of female AFCS.
My ex g/f was one. Insecure, obsessive, crazy.. basically any negative attribute you can think of she was.

I ran into her at a coffee joint ( I was sitting down she just walks up to me) and at first I did conversed very cordially with her, until she starts interrupting me(she did it every time I spoke when we were dating to which I would interrupt her back) when I was talking and I began to go back to my business. She left after trying to get my attention for 3 minutes.