Girls breaking up out of the blue never to be heard of again

[LuckyStrike88]

Who has ever been there? All seems great, then out of the blue you receive a text her saying it's over. Usually some ****ty excuse, and they stop talking to you all together.

Now i am wondering who is to blame? Is the girl just this disrespectful or have i maybe just been to beta for her to give a **** about me anymore?

 

[Albatross953]

Yes I have.

If you're on mission in your life it shouldn't matter. Get another woman and keep moving forward.

Standing around trying to figure out what happened? Why? No one girl should ever cause that much self analysis.

 

[LuckyStrike88]

Yes I have.

If you're on mission in your life it shouldn't matter. Get another woman and keep moving forward.

Standing around trying to figure out what happened? Why? No one girl should ever cause that much self analysis.

I understand the moving on thing and getting another woman. But i also know it is good to reflect in order to improve, that's what i am after. Other than that i don't care that it's gone, there are other women out there. I just want to prevent from making the same mistakes with the next.

 

[GS750]

Had it happen. Girls are selfish by nature. Maybe she found someone else. Maybe her family or friends pushed her to do it. Doesn't matter. Whatever you do, don't beg or plead or try to fix the situation. I think we've all made that mistake at least once. Don't let her see you sweat. Just walk away with your dignity intact.

 

[Bokanovsky]

I understand the moving on thing and getting another woman. But i also know it is good to reflect in order to improve, that's what i am after. Other than that i don't care that it's gone, there are other women out there. I just want to prevent from making the same mistakes with the next.

If her reasons for leaving are not obvious, you will never figure them out for certain. Maybe she met someone else, maybe she's depressed, maybe she turned gay or maybe she never liked you in the first place. There is no point in wrecking your brain trying to figure something out based on incomplete information. There is a good chance that you will come to the wrong conclusion and let this erroneous analysis affect your future interactions with other women.

 

[Between_The_Lines]

Take the liberty to create your own closure and use it to catapult you in the direction of a better version of yourself. Odds are she'd give you a BS reason anyway ("it's not you, it's me", "I just feel like I need some time alone" etc.)

 

[Soolaimon]

Women just don't break up with you out of the blue.

They have been thinking about it for a while to get to their decision meeting new men etc. without you knowing.

They are just looking for the best way and time to break up.

A good reason why that setting boundaries are useless. When her interest is gone so is your relationship. Boundaries do nothing what these insecure men claims it does.

The break up might come suddenly and out of the blue to you but it's been on her mind for a while.

She lost attraction and respect for you obviously and she doesn't think you're worth an explanation.

Why would you want to hear ramble on?

Most likely you won't get the real reason anyway.

Pressing her for the details makes you a beta.

You don't need women like that in your life anyway.

She did you a favor in the long run from wasting your time.

 

[nismo-4]

Out of the blue? She planned that breakup for quite a while.

This is why you keep your options open always. Keep side women in case of a breakup. When she breaks up, your princess is in another castle. Just accept it. She has a better man. Don't ask why, don't whine, that's what she expects, and it further drives her away. Match disinterest with more disinterest, and don't hold your breath for her coming back. Why the f**k would you want her back anyway? For her to drop your ass again? F**k that!

Women plan a breakup mentally LOOOOOOOOONG before commencing the actual breakup. If you sense low interest, detach quickly and get another woman.

Women's interest in a man can change with each falling leaf. On November 10th, it can be high and hot as hell. On November 12th, it can be cold as Antarctica.

When a woman leaves you, don't try to figure it out. That time is better spent meeting new women.

Case closed. Erase and replace, she did it to you.

 

[latinnova]

She was with you for a period of time in your life, and that chapter is done. She was fun, you had your time, now it's over. She is gone, forget about her and move forward. There is no way you are going to figure out why, do not dwell on the what, why, or how, it's just wasted energy. I remember one Don Juan here put it simply.....

"Because... woman"... that's it. We will never understand the sh!t they do...

 

[Genos]

"Because... woman"... that's it. We will never understand the sh!t they do...

This is a very dangerous, and in my opinion extremely bad attitude to have. The whole "women are a mystery, we men will never figure them out" idea is perpetuated by the media, movies, etc., and it's utter crap.

There's always a reason behind any action someone takes. It may not be based in logic, it may very well be based in emotion, but there is a reason. Even emotional reactions can be predictable. Oftentimes, it's in your best interest to think about what could've made a girl break up with you and improve.

Other times, there are probably some factors which you don't know about. Reflect as much as you can, but as someone who posted before me said, know when to end the reflection and not make erroneous conclusions because there are some things you won't know about.

But thinking "women are an enigma" just doesn't seem right to me. Isn't that the whole point of PUA, learning about game, and manosphere? Understanding how and why women do what they do, and what attracts them?

 

[latinnova]

This is a very dangerous, and in my opinion extremely bad attitude to have. The whole "women are a mystery, we men will never figure them out" idea is perpetuated by the media, movies, etc., and it's utter crap.

There's always a reason behind any action someone takes. It may not be based in logic, it may very well be based in emotion, but there is a reason. Even emotional reactions can be predictable. Oftentimes, it's in your best interest to think about what could've made a girl break up with you and improve.

Other times, there are probably some factors which you don't know about. Reflect as much as you can, but as someone who posted before me said, know when to end the reflection and not make erroneous conclusions because there are some things you won't know about.

But thinking "women are an enigma" just doesn't seem right to me. Isn't that the whole point of PUA, learning about game, and manosphere? Understanding how and why women do what they do, and what attracts them?

And after all that analytic thinking you will come to the conclusion "because... women.." and agree. They are emotional beings, they go with the emotional flow. There is your answer "because... women.."

 

[Genos]

@latinnova I completely agree that women do many things we think are odd, because...well, they're women. Science has shown that men and women have different brain chemistry in some areas, and neurological differences, if I recall correctly.

The problem arises when a guy, having just been dumped by his girlfriend, absolves himself of all responsibility to improve and remedy his flaws, and dismisses the breakup as 'well, women are like that'. More often than not, the breakup occurred because the man was no longer being a man. The woman's reactions and desire to breakup occurred because he was getting weaker as a partner, beta-backsliding, or becoming a doormat, etc.

It's important to realize where you could have improved. It's also important to realize where the relationship's failure was out of your hands.

Some self-reflection is needed, in order to prevent mistakes that happened in this relationship from happening in the next one. I absolutely agree though, that after a certain point, worrying about the how's what's and why's will prove more harmful than good. @OP, know when to stop the analysis ("Analysis is paralysis", a good quote I read here some time ago) and let go. Take what you can from it, and move on stronger into your future with women.

But, that requires some self-reflection. For a woman who I assume you spent a good deal of time with and cared about, some consideration of where things might've gone wrong (whether or not it is indeed your fault) is in order. You can then attract even higher quality woman in the future.

 

[Tictac]

Girls 'go ghost' just like boys do.

What's the issue?

 

[bluenorther]

Three different times I've been dumped right before Christmas. The last one, I had a premonition, not the others.

 

[LuckyStrike88]

These situations can be harsh but yeah that's life. If you have other options the next girl will let you forget about her anyway.

Whatever reason she had i believe in most cases the upper hand by the man was lost. Attraction overrules more than you can imagine, woman go through abuse over it.

Best thing is don't whine to her or anyone about it, remove her from your life and do better with the next.

In the end your own happiness should not be tied to a woman anyway. Then you are already out of control.

 

[Redwood]

Yes.

It happened to me earlier this year. Funnily enough, she contacted me MONTHS later and still thought we was together.

It's not truly over for girls unless they have the final say so and you keep turning them off with beta behavior.

 

[cfdagola]

this is why an emotional bond is always worth more than a strictly sexual one.

emotion is where the magic happens the joy the sadness the drama etc... good with the bad.

strictly sexual ones have no weight and no foundation. its literally like the surface of quicksand looks sturdy as hell until you put your full weight on it and all the sudden you're sinking with no way out unless you get help from a vine or a tree branch. which symbolically can be anything like a friend or a one night stand.

 

[mikey2012]

1. They changed their mind for some trivial reason. Maybe they didn't like the look of your toes.
2. She found a better guy.

These are the two main reasons why she would just do a runner and guess it what it usually has something to do with you.

Nothing you can about it. Just forget it and move forward.

 

[Between_The_Lines]

Brings one to mind from a few years back...

I started talking to a girl for a bit (2-3 weeks), we meet up, screw, I go ghost for about 3 days afterward, she texts me something to the effect of "so do you always have sex with girls and go on to never talk to them again? jk!", I respond a few hours later, she proposes meeting up later that night, I agree, tell her we can link up after I finish having dinner with my sister, she agrees, I reach back out about 45 minutes later when I'm free, she replies "sorry, I assumed we weren't to get together, so I made other plans", I respond with "cool, maybe next time", and we never spoke to each other ever again.

What happened there? Did she find someone else? Was she offended by my aloofness? Did she retreat to an old flame? Did she get bored? I wasn't particularly interested in her, so no sweat off my back. Now if only I could handle a LTR breakup in the same fashion...

 

[skinnyguy]

I kinda got burned but it is psychological. I only got burned because I let myself get burned. I should have been seeing 5 other women in addition to her. She's nothing special and not even that cute; I just got hooked because of how much attention she paid to me.