Girl's Boyfriend Cheated on Her

[jaymbrs]

I'll keep it short:

Girl I've been interested in and speak on a semi-regular basis has publicly posted on FB her boyfriend cheated on her and how she's heartbroken, etc. I haven't been able to seal the deal with her because of him.

So now the question for fellow DJs, do I reach out to her first or let her reach out to me? She knows I'm interested so I was thinking of letting her reach out to me. However I'm also feeling like a lion waiting in the brush and just watched the poor antelope injure its leg.

 

[logicallefty]

I’ve never been in this exact scenario, but one very very similar. My buddy’s cousin, early 30s, also a former high school crush of mine, was bummed out because she had just got fired. I on the other hand was the one who just got dumped, by a woman who dumped me for another woman.. So buddy’s cousin and I were drounding in our sorrows on Facebook messenger and it went from there. Went to Buffalo wild wings. Drank Ourselves silly. Made out in the parking lot. Back to her place. Nailed her the first night. Then a couple days later nailed Her on a school playground (at night of course). Then a week or so after that at her place again. I got back at her for all the times in high school I had asked her out and she told me no chance in hell LOL

So, in your case start with a private message along the lines of “Dang girl, what the heck is going on with you? You all right?” Feel for how she responds. Talk to her for a couple days. Then tell her you would like to go to (insert one of your favorite places) and ask her if she would like to come along, have a drink, and help take her mind off of her situation. Then go for the kill!

 

[Glassguy]

I would reach out. This chick will be DTF if she has interest in you.

"Hey sorry about your circumstances, but I think I know just what you need".

Her: What is that?

"A fun night out with me to forget about whats his name"

 

[Desdinova]

I haven't been able to seal the deal with her because of him.

If he's been an obstacle during the time she was with him, he'll continue to be an obstacle even though she's not with him.

I've interacted with women who had BFs, fiancees and husbands, and I can always tell when they'd be more than happy to fvck me if the opportunity should arise.

If you're not getting that vibe from her, it's unlikely that she'll magically develop interest in you simply because she's single.

 

[TheMonkeyKing]

I would say wait a while. You don't want to jump straight on that orbiter band-wagon that's probably chasing her round town currently. Wait at least a week or two, until the next time you naturally come in to contact; when you do, make out you had no idea about the BF, and as LL said, then grab the opportunity to 'go out and have some fun'. You never know, she may well approach you first anyway. Just be cool. And don't be thirsty.

 

[jaymbrs]

I would say wait a while. You don't want to jump straight on that orbiter band-wagon that's probably chasing her round town currently. Wait at least a week or two, until the next time you naturally come in to contact; when you do, make out you had no idea about the BF, and as LL said, then grab the opportunity to 'go out and have some fun'. You never know, she may well approach you first anyway. Just be cool. And don't be thirsty.

I'm leaning more towards this because as you stated I don't want to come off as thirsty. I'll give her a little bit of time and then hit her up to grab a drink or something.

 

[jaymbrs]

If he's been an obstacle during the time she was with him, he'll continue to be an obstacle even though she's not with him.

I've interacted with women who had BFs, fiancees and husbands, and I can always tell when they'd be more than happy to fvck me if the opportunity should arise.

If you're not getting that vibe from her, it's unlikely that she'll magically develop interest in you simply because she's single.

I hear you but the dude cheated on her. Can't be too much of a problem now that he's managed to screw up.

 

[Building_and_Loan]

I would wait for her to reach out. Chances are she's got at least 5 thirsty guys hitting her up right now with the same lame line "we should hang out sometime".

I'd be different and wait, since you two talk on a semi regular basis. Let her sift through all the bs messages she's getting flooded with right now.

 

[Desdinova]

I hear you but the dude cheated on her. Can't be too much of a problem now that he's managed to screw up.

You'd be surprised...

 

[SadoMasochrist]

There is so much beta game in here it's startling. Strike while it's hot. You don't think other DJs are getting in on this? The only question you need to address is "how do I not come across as an orbiter."

Don't offer support, offer fun and excitement. Make your intentions known, if she rebuffs, accept it, do what you do.

**** a whole bunch of "waiting in the wings."

 

[jaymbrs]

There is so much beta game in here it's startling. Strike while it's hot. You don't think other DJs are getting in on this? The only question you need to address is "how do I not come across as an orbiter."

Don't offer support, offer fun and excitement. Make your intentions known, if she rebuffs, accept it, do what you do.

**** a whole bunch of "waiting in the wings."

The problem I have with this is taking her out, showing her a good time and then she ends up calling her ex to bang. Not only did I not get laid, but I'm out some money as well.

 

[SadoMasochrist]

The problem I have with this is taking her out, showing her a good time and then she ends up calling her ex to bang. Not only did I not get laid, but I'm out some money as well.

If you can't bang a girl looking for a revenge lay.... Besides, no one is saying "spend money on her." Usual advice applies, invite her to something you're doing. Isolate and escalate.

 

[sazc]

Reach out and test the waters.

If she's not into you it will be a "no" regardless of when you ask, now, or a 'respectable amount of time' later.

Hit her up on messenger, let her know you saw her posts and if she wants to talk you are a good ear. If she responds affirmatively, get her out "for a few drinks" "because it will be good for her" and keep buying.

Good luck

 

[jaymbrs]

There is so much beta game in here it's startling. Strike while it's hot. You don't think other DJs are getting in on this? The only question you need to address is "how do I not come across as an orbiter."

Don't offer support, offer fun and excitement. Make your intentions known, if she rebuffs, accept it, do what you do.

**** a whole bunch of "waiting in the wings."

Reach out and test the waters.

If she's not into you it will be a "no" regardless of when you ask, now, or a 'respectable amount of time' later.

Hit her up on messenger, let her know you saw her posts and if she wants to talk you are a good ear. If she responds affirmatively, get her out "for a few drinks" "because it will be good for her" and keep buying.

Good luck

I'll spare the details but I got the run around from her yesterday and was ultimately left hanging, meaning she stopped texting back once I mentioned we should grab a beer. Like @Desdinova said, the ex is prob still lingering.

 

[way2smart]

So now the question for fellow DJs, do I reach out to her first or let her reach out to me? She knows I'm interested so I was thinking of letting her reach out to me. However I'm also feeling like a lion waiting in the brush and just watched the poor antelope injure its leg.

Never reach out. You think just because her boyfriend cheated she is just magically going to have interest in you? As a matter of fact, she loves her boyfriend even more after he cheated on her. She will never go out with you.

I have cheated on many women and every single one of them started showing even more interest in me after they found out I cheated. Women want to out compete other women, that's why it raises their interest level.