Girls Approaching Guys

knglerxt

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How often does this really happen? Keep in mind that I'm only referring to girls that are complete strangers, not some girl you already know. I'm talking about places like the bookstore, library, grocery store, etc. Some place where people don't go to meet other people.

What are some of your theories on this? Are guys that have experienced this just "lucky"? Or are they lying about it? Or is there such a thing as a vibe or aura some people give off, regardless of their level of physical attractiveness?

I'm a good looking guy, yet this has never happened to me. I get looks, but never some girl striking up a conversation or anything. It seems to me that most people are focused on themselves when they're out and about or are just too afraid to approach a stranger.
 

Travisty

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In my experiences some girls are bold enuf to start a conversation with me(I'm not unattractive) but for the most part they just come stand right next to me for no reason or something stupid like that.
 

Maxtro

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I've been approached by girls on two occasions. Both times they were coworkers. Both occasions they were fat girls with severe mental issues...
 

aliasguy

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"...fat girls with severe mental issues..."

Made me laugh.

Thanks.

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ValleyDJing

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Snow Plowman said:
Please do a search next time



I'm starting to realize its the sub-communication that is getting chicks approaching me.

+1 rep.

I think there's also a difference between a girl "approaching" and a girl "opening" you.

A girl's typical approach is placing themselves in your vicinity in order for you to open them. A opener would be them giving you their number and/or asking you out.

I think you can get a girl to actually open you by being hot for starters, and like Snow Plowman said, if you give her the right subcommunication. I wouldn't know much about that because I'll get "approached" but I rarely get "opened". But I do have a buddy who gets opened on the DAILY...and he stresses alllll the time about subcommunication.
 

JDA70

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How often does this really happen?
WHo knows. I don't think anyone is really keeping score.

Or is there such a thing as a vibe or aura some people give off
I've been approached by girls that have said my friend is interested in meeting you or whatever.
At this point I think it was just physical attraction.

I won't rule out the vibe or aura thing. I mean it's possible.

It seems to me that most people are focused
on themselves when they're out and about or are
just too afraid to approach a stranger.
That's pretty much true. Most are busy thinking about their own lives.
 

War Against Betaism

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I've been approached by a lot of big girls. I can totally tell they're trying to get on rapport with me, because they rip out a bunch of questions for me to answer and it just turns me off.
 

knglerxt

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ValleyDJing said:
+1 rep.

A girl's typical approach is placing themselves in your vicinity in order for you to open them.

How can you tell if this is what she's really doing though or if it's all in your head? For example, this girl at work that I like has come to my office a couple times just to ask questions. Stuff like "Where is a certain conference room located at?" or "Where do I find this?". One time when I was looking on a building map for the conference room she comes in and stands right next to me. Am I supposed to assume she's interested and wants me to talk to her? She could be just asking questions with no ulterior motive.
 

RYilmaz123

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FOR me personally ive been flat out approached about maybe 7-10 times in my life(excluding clubs). And as far as chances to approach ive had a lot as well. I think im a decent looking guy but definately not model material. The thing with me is i have acne problems that flucuate and ive noticed that when im looking my best; that is usually when im approached or checked out the most. So from my experiences the better you look the more you will get approached. I dont buy into those guys who say well im really good looking and girls are too intimidated to approach me. I think thats nonsense, i mean sure there probably are some girls who are intimidated or feel that its a mans responsibility to approach but for every 3 girls that think that way there is sure to be 1 that will be a little balsy.

My post is not suggessting that you should not approach girls if your average or ugly. I mean at the end of the day if a guy whos a 6/10 approaches a hb and a guy thats a 9.5/10 doesnt approach the same hot babe, then the 6 has 100 percent chance of getting her as opposed to the 9.5's 0% chance.
 

Nighthawk

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Women throw themselves at me all the time, more so when I was younger and dressed like a slut. But they never make it as obvious as saying 'hey, you're cute, what's your number?' Well, actually that's happened a few times, but the vast majority is by making it obvious with non-verbal clues, being on your vicinity, making prolonged eye-contact, blushing, and when I was a DJ pestering me every ten minutes. I think it's pretty obvious to tell when a woman is interested, but many times I had no idea until things became obvious and I thought 'Oh, I just thought you were just being friendly, silly me. Here's my tongue'
 

knglerxt

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RYilmaz123 said:
FOR me personally ive been flat out approached about maybe 7-10 times in my life(excluding clubs). And as far as chances to approach ive had a lot as well. I think im a decent looking guy but definately not model material. The thing with me is i have acne problems that flucuate and ive noticed that when im looking my best; that is usually when im approached or checked out the most. So from my experiences the better you look the more you will get approached. I dont buy into those guys who say well im really good looking and girls are too intimidated to approach me. I think thats nonsense, i mean sure there probably are some girls who are intimidated or feel that its a mans responsibility to approach but for every 3 girls that think that way there is sure to be 1 that will be a little balsy.

Where are you from? Girls here in South Carolina just don't do that. When I was in the Air Force, I lived in Washington DC for almost 4 years and it didn't happen there either. Even when I went out with my buddies they never got approached and they weren't ugly guys. If there are that many bold girls around, I should've been approached a lot of times by now.
 

Nighthawk

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knglerxt, It's not just about 'looks' it's about frame, attitude, social status, the way you dress and carry yourself, yaddda yadda. I don't mean to get at you, but I recall that some of your previous posts have reflected a less-than-confident attitude. Women sense this and that will kill any chance of them approaching you.
 

knglerxt

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Nighthawk said:
knglerxt, It's not just about 'looks' it's about frame, attitude, social status, the way you dress and carry yourself, yaddda yadda. I don't mean to get at you, but I recall that some of your previous posts have reflected a less-than-confident attitude. Women sense this and that will kill any chance of them approaching you.


Yeah. But I don't walk around with my head down or anything. I don't think I give off any physical signs of being less than confident. Actually, just the other day at work this girl stopped me and said that I walked like a male model or some guy out of a magazine. Then, the next day a woman at work asked me if I was in the military because of the way I carried myself. I think I fool a lot of people.
 

jesusrules

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to be honest i wish more women would do this. that would be cool.

in my experience this has never happened to me before. the closest thing was i was at best buy and i was buying a cd and some girl that works there started talking to me about my shirt i had on. ive actually had a few chicks talk to me like that at stores. but then again it is there job to be nice. so who knows?
 

knglerxt

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Nighthawk said:
Both those women were showing huge signs of interest.

The reason I'm not following up with these comments is because both of them are black girls, and I'm just not attracted to black women. I think I do disqualify a lot of advances, though. The other day this other woman at work said we should go to the movies sometime. This other girl touched me on the arm when she passed me because I wasn't paying her any attention. I guess I just think they're just being nice or something.
 

Nighthawk

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jesusrules said:
to be honest i wish more women would do this. that would be cool.

in my experience this has never happened to me before. the closest thing was i was at best buy and i was buying a cd and some girl that works there started talking to me about my shirt i had on. ive actually had a few chicks talk to me like that at stores. but then again it is there job to be nice. so who knows?
Say 'yeah I bet you say that to all the customers' and gauge her reaction.
 

Paintballguy

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I was at a club recently where I got approached by a HB8. Later on, I ended up dancing/making out with her and getting the number close.

Thats the first time I had a hot chick approach me.
 

Canadian Catnip

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knglerxt said:
How often does this really happen? Keep in mind that I'm only referring to girls that are complete strangers, not some girl you already know. I'm talking about places like the bookstore, library, grocery store, etc. Some place where people don't go to meet other people.

What are some of your theories on this? Are guys that have experienced this just "lucky"? Or are they lying about it? Or is there such a thing as a vibe or aura some people give off, regardless of their level of physical attractiveness?

I'm a good looking guy, yet this has never happened to me. I get looks, but never some girl striking up a conversation or anything. It seems to me that most people are focused on themselves when they're out and about or are just too afraid to approach a stranger.

Well before I started reading a practicing a lot of DJ material I was so AFC that I probably did not even notice that a girl was interested in me.

But as of late it has been happening a lot more often for me and to tell the truth it has got me baffled why it happens. I guess I put off a vibe but I am still somewhat inexperienced in how to handle them approaching me.

Tell me if you think this girl was trying to hit on me.

I was in my favorite coffee shop about four nights ago, it has a bar section with network cables so people can sit at the bar and plug their computers in and use the INTERNET for free. The rest of the coffee shop has tables and chairs with no INTERNET or power plug-ins.

I went in there and found a table with two chairs and sat down. I saw this women out of the corner of my eye, she was sitting at the bar with her laptop and some guy was talking to her. I was writing in my journal and occasionally scanning the room. 15 minutes later I give the room another scan, she is still talking to this guy, smiling and laughing.

He leaves and she got up to order a drink or something at the main counter. Now I get a look at her ass and I am impressed by it. I make a mental note to myself that she is hot. I go back to my writing in my journal. I never made eye contact with her at any time.

She gets her food and walks back to her computer. Suddenly she unplugs it from the INTERNET and picks it up and walks over to me and says, "is this seat taken?" the one that was empty on the other side of my table. I say, "yes go ahead and take it". I honestly thought she wanted to take the chair away with her. So she plops herself down and spreads her computer out on my table and begins to eat and type away.

I think to myself WTF is going on here, is this a joke someone is playing on me. There was lots of free tables in the shop.

Anyway she takes out her phone and holds it up as if she is trying to read a number off of the screen but I think she was positioning it so she could take a picture of me with it.

Who hasn't tried to sneak a picture of someone with their camera phone, you end up holding it really still and awkwardly vertical, and thats what she was doing. She was holding it there pointing it at me for a good 10 or 15 seconds then she put it away.

After about 5 minutes I go up and left, it was just so outside my reality that I didn't know what to do. I never said anything to her but when she saw me getting up to leave she smiled and said, "Have a nice night".

I am really not used to women doing that kind of stuff around me. The strange thing is I must be putting of a vibe or something because I have many women staring at me these days, trying to catch my eye.

I told this story to a friend of mine and he started calling me a wuss and stupid and telling me all the things I should have done and I am certain that those thoughts are going through everyones mind here as well, but as they say, hindsight is 20\20. If you are put in a situation that you are not expecting to have happen you would probably freeze as well.

It's so easy to IMAGINE what you would do afterwords. I am being honest with you guys as to the whole story and my reactions.
 
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