Just thought I’d give you guys an update to this story: It’s a little long my apologies..
So ego aside, I agree with the majority here, that past is past and as long as it has no negative influence on the current relationship then enjoy the spoils of both partners’ experience and don’t ask questions.
I guess this revelation clouded my judgement of our past problems, I cast them aside and hatched a plan with this girl for us to be together; that I loved her as much as she loved me and want to fight for her as much as she fought for us during our time apart. That I took responsibility for our past issues as much as was hers and we could find answers to them together. I had fully committed to this girl in my mind and communicated that and she agreed. I was excited.
We spent last Thursday night together and it was great, I was sick Friday but spent the majority of the day talking to her about what our future could be. She asked if I would come to China with her for work, and I asked her if she would travel interstate with me for work. We joked about having children in China.
Although she already had some plans Friday we tentatively arranged something for later on. I went to sleep hearing nothing, I wasn’t going to call her cause god damn I was sick and had invited her, so why chase?
Woke up Saturday morning with a pleasant text from her; I asked what had happened the night before and why she didn’t call and was told she was tired and didn’t want to bother me. Although we were up till 3am my gut instinct was something was up.
While I worked on renovating my friend’s house Saturday I continued to receive nice texts about funny moments from our past together. It made me feel good.
Saturday I went out with my friends as planned and woke up Sunday talking to her and feeling a real closeness. We planned a future together that day, but I still had a lingering feeling from Friday night.
She invited me over Sunday night, we cooked and ate and had fun. She went and took a shower and in a moment of opportunism I checked her phone. She had done this to me previously although that’s no excuse for me to behave in that way.
There were texts and booty calls from other guys, which although raised my heart rate I accepted; as we were broken up. After all she is hot and social by nature... What got me was texts form her to some guy Friday night, while she should have been seeing me, saying how ‘hot’ he is and wanted to ‘meet some place for a drink and a pash’ amongst other things.
Obviously I was hurt and angry and upset. She had no answers other than she was drunk and stupid and sorry. She apologised profusely but still argued when backed into a corner, saying she was responding to me breaking up with her. I cut contact, despite wanting to run to her like a dumbazz. She’s been relentless in trying to get us back on track and apologise. I just can’t trust her or forgive her for this.
Although no reflection on her past, perhaps tied with the red flags along the way I should have put two and two together, and seen her actions not borne from ‘growing up’ or ‘exploration’ but wedded in insecurity. I actually knew it all along but ignored my gut, once again.
I deserve better.
