Girlfriend's Ex is Contacting Her Again

[foomee]

How should I deal with this? This guy is her and and he's been texting her recently. He's been studying abroad last semester and he just got back and he starts texting her. They are going to hang out for the first time tomorrow (starbucks for some coffee). She says they were on very bad terms and they're trying to fix that.
He's bad news. He's texted her calling her cute, saying he missed her. And saying a few other random things and like any boyfriend it started to piss me off.
If a girl had complete interest in me she wouldn't be going to get coffee tomorrow and she would just ignore his texts. So I'm assuming I'm at fault for this. And being who I am, I won't snoop through my girl's texts, I am not going to criticize her, and I completely trust her, but I don't trust him. I don't want to be controlling and be like, "no you can't talk to him". But I also don't want anything bad to happen. What would you recommend?

 

[Andromax]

If a girl had complete interest in me she wouldn't be going to get coffee tomorrow and she would just ignore his texts.

Yes sir, you are right there.

You should not be thinking "I don't trust him."

You should be thinking "I trust that he is trying to get my gf back, or at least enjoy the warmth of her canal."

So I'm assuming I'm at fault for this. And being who I am, I won't snoop through my girl's texts.

Correct again, don't snoop through her texts theres really no point. And you are not necessarily at fault for this. Sometimes a woman going back to her ex is completely out of the hand's of a DJ.

It doesn't mean you aren't the man. It means they have a history. He probably left her. She probably seeks the validation from him that you can never give her.

I am not going to criticize her, and I completely trust her, but I don't trust him. I don't want to be controlling and be like, "no you can't talk to him". But I also don't want anything bad to happen. What would you recommend?

Why do you completely trust her? There is a big difference between pretending to not be jealous and being naive. What do you think is happening here? Rekindling a friendship? If they were on bad terms she wouldn't be meeting him. She is meeting him because he is a very likely prospect for her at the moment, and she is being flooded with emotions from his return.

She is displaying diminishing IL.

She is disrespecting you.

She is not behaving like a good girlfriend.

And you completely trust her and don't want anything bad to happen.

You are rewarding her poor behavior with heightened interest.

You are behaving passively aggressive in an attempt to stop this meeting, and their contact. (although you didn't post this, I can envision this in your conversations together about the topic)

You need to tell her that if she is going to spend time with her Ex-bf whom you know wants her back, that you are not going to be with her anymore and that the two of you are through. And then you better be prepared to actually do it because that's what I foresee happening.

 

[Andromax]

A related story.

One of my good friends left his girlfriend of a year to join the Air Force.

She was devastated.

"They were on really bad terms"

We deployed together for 7+ months, grew close.

After we got back, I visit him in Amarillo.

He introduces me to his girl friend. She's really cute.

Apparently they fixed those "bad terms"

It took them all of like a few days.

And her boyfriend of 3 months who she dumped like a bad habit?

Well, it might be sounding a little too familiar for you.

 

[foomee]

Alright guys, thanks for the input. Her interest level seems high, but it feels as if it is too close to the border and I must act soon. I'll see how this week goes.

 

[j0n024]

Damn what's up with all the X=boyfriends and going after there old girlfriends? Jeez talk about chumps that are still tied up to the same girl how pathetic.

 

[KontrollerX]

Good luck man.

In future relationships though you need to establish up front what you want from your girl and if its no contact with ex's then so be it.

Its not insecurity its common fvckin sense.

There is no reason in the world ex's need to see eachother unless...

A. They have a kid together.

Or

B. One or both are secretly trying to get back together under the guise of friendship.

In scenario A a true DJ would never get involved with such a woman to begin with.

In scenario B every DJ and even AFC knows that this is the case.