Girlfriend will NOT go down on me

[sandinista]

Hello Everyone.

Right, i have a girlfriend. We've been going out now for... almost 5 years.
The relationship is great except one factor. She just does not go down on me.

In the last year, she went down on me... maybe 3 times IN THE WHOLE YEAR. & even then it was only for around 5 minutes then she climbed on top of me.

That wouldn't really be a problem, except when I've been waiting for SO long for this experience & she stops just as it's getting really good.. it's extremely frustrating.

She knows how much i enjoy it. I've had a rather frank deiscussion about this over a year ago, where she proclaimed that she does not have an issue with it and will do this more often.. but she has done NOTHING about it. If ever i bring the idea of her performing this act she complains that i 'keep going on about it & it makes her not want to do it'. But.. if i don't outright ask then nothings going to happen. I've tried being subtle & dropping hints, i've tried sweaping her off her feet with grand romantic getures(weekends away, an occassional present) & she still does not do it.

She knows very well how much i like it, & she always makes promises to do this for me as a persuavsive tool when she wants something from me, but even when i submit, she has NOT once followed through with her promises.

I'm at my wits end now. We have regualr sex & almost everything else about the relationship is great.. Except this is a MAJOR problem now. To the point where i am getting quite depressed.

So.. What the hell can i do about this? All i want is oral sex OCCASSIONALLY. Does anyone have any input on this situation?

 

[wilford]

Using *******s as a persuasive tool is... well... i find it natural....

But using PROMISE of a ******* as a presuasive tool... while after all you are not getting any.... now that's another story.. all this teasing, playing wit your desires... your mind... i find it disrespectfull.

Giving in, and accepting that kind of manipulation is harmfull for your self esteem and overall mental health. You talk about frustration.... despression... Well.... Confront her about it, or just break the relation and move on i don't know... but don't take anyones ****.... It's not about the *******... it's about your head being healthy mate.

 

[OnTheWayUp]

I feel your pain, OP, this has been a problem of mine for a long time as well. Make sure that you're clean down below, that you're trimmed so that hair doesn't get in her mouth, and that you reward her either verbally or physically when she does go down on you.

Something that has worked well for me recently has been leading the girl towards sucking you off very gently, one step at a time. We're making out naked, and I get her to kiss my neck, then my stomach, then my upper legs, then the groin, then start the bj proper, all whilst giving a hand job. Put yourself in your gf's position, it must be quite a shock if you're suddenly just like "suck it." This way is much smoother, give it a try.

 

[PrettyBoyAJ]

PrettyBoyAJ's Number One Relationship Tip:

"Don't trust a girl that doesn't go down on you. She is not down for you"

 

[perseverance]

If a girl doesn't like giving oral sex, that's fine, that's her right, but she'll find herself dumped within a short period of time.

I see sex as a team effort, both people should be striving to pleasure the other person, if they aren't doing that then that's selfish behaviour and as I am not a selfish person I don't expect my girlfriend to be selfish either. I am more than happy to do whatever it takes to pleasure the woman I'm having sex with, if she is getting off on the experience it makes my enjoyment of the experience so much better, but I would expect her to feel the same way. I enjoy oral sex both giving it and receiving it, if I am not receiving it then I find it hard to enjoy the experience, it feels like something is missing, if something is missing I am not fully satisfied, if I am not fully satisfied then I tend to find myself disillusioned and if that happens, I usually ring about changes.

A girl who doesn't go down on me is a girl I don't really want anything to do with.

 

[Aaron B]

get her horny then refuse to get her off until after she blows you

 

[bigneil]

Head is so overrated IMO. I usually request that they stop. I enjoy performing oral sex on a woman much more than receiving it, for whatever reason. Probably because it's often their favorite.

That said, it's a bad sign if they don't volunteer to go down on you (you shouldn't have to request it), and equally bad if they don't let you do the same.

 

[drak_ool]

no head, no sex. That's my rule, w/er with a gf or just a ONS.

As a general thing though, if there is something that you really like, something that is of the upmost importance to you, and your gf knows about and still doesn't give it to you... you need a new girlfriend!

 

[runner83]

Yeah, some girls are funny with that.

Some will gobble your sabre and drain you dry, while others are reluctant about it.

You've been with this girl for 5 years, if it is a big deal then I suggest trying OnTheWayUp's suggestion.

And if that doesn't work and she is continually not doing it, you have to decide what is more important: staying with this girl or getting a decent head job.

If the second, cheat on her, and get a head job from another girl. Don't let her take control of your happiness and sexual needs.

 

[marmel75]

OK, here is my suggestion on what has worked for me in the past in this situation:

-start whispering really dirty things in her ear about what you are going to do to her

-passionately kiss her neck(I swear this flips some type of switch in chicks) until she cannot take it anymore...get a little rough, pull her hair while you are doing it, etc

-tease her with your tongue and start kissing her all over her body, working your way down to her cl*t, then tease around the area for a while before using your tongue on it...

-get her to c*m from licking her cl*t, she should be like a bucking bronco if you are doing it right

-then take your middle finger, palm side up and start fingering her as far back as you can go and start feeling for a "squishy area" right past her pelvic bone. Start a fingering motion like you are telling someone to "come here" with your finger inside of her. Then when she is almost about to c*m start banging away like a jackhammer with your middle finger. If she yells she is going to pee, let her know she is not, she is getting ready to squirt/gush(some chicks have never had a guy make that happen before). She should have a completely mindblowing orgasm and you will likely end up with some prety good red marks on your arms/shoulder/chest from her grabbing and clawing at you with her fingernails. Many times after doing that the girl has told me "I'll do whatever you want me to do..." or "we can do whatever you want"(and this has entailed some pretty raw stuff...anal, deepthroating, sucking my c*ck after taking it straight out of her p*ssy, etc...basically porn star stuff)

-If she doesn't offer to suck you off, grab her head and tell her to "come suck this d*ck" in an authoritative manner...she should be ready to swallow it whole...if not, I have no idea what to tell you, but this has pretty much gotten me whatever I wanted from a girl in the past...

Basically the frame is that you are the man, and you are going to get what you want, but you also just gave her an awesome experience beforehand, so she should want to give you the same...

Also I would highly recommend watching "2 Girls Teach Sex" as they have some awesome techniques(the fingering one, plus a bunch of others) that will work wonders for most guys...trust me, they work really good when you do them...

 

[Zarky]

Date more women

 

[J Roc]

she doesnt go down on you but she does on me

 

[Gangster Of Love]

OP, you don't mention in your post if this predicament you find yourself in was always the case, from the start, or just in recent years.

If she was never into it, and it is something you want/need as part of your sex life, then you knew from the start what you were in for. If she was into it, and now she's not, then it means she has grown too comfortable and has a sense of security, to the point where she does not fear loosing you, nor care about what you think at this point. As someone else pointed before, she is the one in control.

To everyone, having a broad give you head is the equivalent to buying a tv, and expecting it to come with a remote control. It is a standard feauture.

In fact, if your game is tight, this is not even an issue. It is just standard procedure. If you are dealing with someone who's not into giving head, and they value you and are really into you, they will tell you stuff like, "I was never really into it until I met you.", "I never do this", as they do their work.

 

[str8-2-BONEzone]

shes not goin down on u cuz ur not showin it all the ALPHA u need on ur HB8. sry bro u just gotta try 2 do more! maybe put on a gun show 4 her then ur hittin her ride like a gspot if u no what i mean!! :woo:

 

[Htienvu]

Head is so overrated IMO. I usually request that they stop. I enjoy performing oral sex on a woman much more than receiving it, for whatever reason. Probably because it's often their favorite.

That said, it's a bad sign if they don't volunteer to go down on you (you shouldn't have to request it), and equally bad if they don't let you do the same.

My girl go down on me every single time, I think she actually enjoys it. Did it the second time we had sex without me asking, she just went for it. However, she does not want me to go down on her, she says a guy's private part is more hygienic than a women's.