Girlfriend wants to take a break, but is afraid or me

[XMinister]

Long story short (without missing important details).........

Me and my girlfriend have been together for over a year now. She moved in with me very early because of her own living complications and we've been working together on everything ever since.

Lately, she said she feels stuck in life. I mean, I'm kind of the same. Sometimes I feel bored of her around all the time. I'm assuming she feels the same.

She hasn't had many relationships in her life and she told me she feels like she missed out on a lot because she works full time now and doesn't get to hang out with friends, etc, etc, etc.

I talked to her the other day and I said "lets take a little break". She works a temp job, which is going to end next month. I told her to head back to her mother's house for a bit and that way we can both have a chance to breath and work on ourselves a little to see what the next step is.

She didn't like that. She said she wants some space, but she's afraid I might find someone else. She started crying and saying how she doesn't want to lose me.

Now, I can't comprehend women because I'm pretty obsessed with logic and logic has no role here. I care about her a lot and I connect with her more than I've ever connected with anyone......friend, family, etc....
I just need a little space. She's getting really discouraged lately and has been in a slump of sorrow. Its like she doesn't know what she wants right now.

I'm weak to illogical emotions. I need a the advice of the don juans on here. What do you guys think of the situation?

I'm 25 by the way and she's 24.

 

[blindnowisee]

FYI: I'm 26

This seems like a no-brainer to me. You're still young.. she's still young.. you've both got the knack of wanting to experience life more before committing which is a good thing (if you acknowledge it).. You can choose to ignore it but that will only prolong your (and her) boredom and drive you up the wall in no time.

My advice:
Break up - look for your true passions in life.

 

[Renegade357]

Next. Her interest level is south of the border. Break up with her now or prepared to be slowly tortured until she finally dumps you.

 

[ScottMustaine]

'She didn't like that. She said she wants some space, but she's afraid I might find someone else. She started crying and saying how she doesn't want to lose me."

She got bored of you and wants to find another guy to bang her while you keep her ego, but doesn't want to feel like a slut.

It's over.

 

[XMinister]

Okay. Thanks for the input.
So a break isn't the answer here?

Breaking up completely would be a more appropriate solution in your opinion guys?

 

[ScottMustaine]

In my opinion yes, but I know that's sometimes hard. Don't let others judge for you, take the advice, but you decide whether it's worth to use it or not.

It usually means that she's losing interest, but isn't always the case.

 

[Renegade357]

Okay. Thanks for the input.
So a break isn't the answer here?

Breaking up completely would be a more appropriate solution in your opinion guys?

If I were you I'd break up with her immediately. Take some time off. Learn about how women work, improve yourself ect. Then actually find a good girl that won't pull these games on you. They exist. Anyway, it's either take the pain now or really really take it later after she cheats on you.

 

[blindnowisee]

All of the above..

And watch Swingers (1996)

 

[In2theGame]

She didn't like that. She said she wants some space, but she's afraid I might find someone else. She started crying and saying how she doesn't want to lose me.

LoL dont let that line fool you dude. This is how i am interpreting that line. "I need some space to maybe find another guy before I leave you but before i do, I'm going to tell you that i'm afraid you will dump me before i find the next guy." She'll cry to convince you but then out of no where she will leave you and you will wonder "What happened? She said she didnt want to lose me?". You might think "Nah she wouldnt do that to me" but you'd be surprised how your little angel could turn into a heartless creature from hell.

 

[Renegade357]

You might think "Nah she wouldnt do that to me" but you'd be surprised how your little angel could turn into a heartless creature from hell.

Amen to you. After you figure out all their stupid little games it actually becomes fun. You can just kinda sit back and laugh at them then drop them flat on their face unexpectingly. Not many guys out there can do this. They let their ego get in the way and then stick around for the beating

 

[VladPatton]

I think it is pretty unanimous, man. She will go black and white for weeks while your guts churn and you loose sleep. She is not happy, she stated that. Time to finish up the project and move on.

You did the right thing by telling her to get the phuck out. All of a sudden, she "didn't like that". So then what kind of magic wand does she want you to wave to make things better? What exactly is she missing out on that she can't do with you around? Oh, bang other dudes, ding ding ding, there we go.

Don't let her rope-a-dope you into thinking she just needs to hang out more with the girls and find herself as she slowly detaches because it's a smoke screen. Total crap from a bull's a$$. She may also want 3, 4 months of "fun" then try to rekindle things once her system is clean. So look ahead as well.

As for now, shoot the horse, don't let him suffer. Good luck.

 

[Alvafe]

one rule I always follow, regardless what most people I know said, is she ask for space or some time to think over, I just say "ok, you have all time of the world, its over, bye"

better way is just send her to her mom's house and take all keys back, or better yet change all locks.

if you want just to work with logic just think like this, well since she is not sure, and I should take the decision for both, ok why I would waste my time with someone who is not sure?

 

[thevilittletroll]

when a girl says she wants space it means that she's already dumped you. when she says she doesnt want to lose you, that means she doesnt want to lose hear meal ticket and her place to live while she looks for another dude to replace you. she also wants to keep you on the hook if the guy she replaces you with doesnt work out, she'll be kissing your ass later.

this is typical behavior when a relationship moves too fast too soon, plus your living together makes it worse. neither of you have time to yourself. your best bet is to cut ties for good and kick her out of your house. go out and replace her before she replaces you. cause once the new dude gets bored of banging her, and he kicks her out of his house, she'll come crawling back. you dont want that. she wants to have her cake and eat it too. dont let her. get rid of that gold digging, taking advantage of dudes, b-itch!

 

[floydb25]

She didn't like that. She said she wants some space, but she's afraid I might find someone else. She started crying and saying how she doesn't want to lose me.

LoL dont let that line fool you dude. This is how i am interpreting that line. "I need some space to maybe find another guy before I leave you but before i do, I'm going to tell you that i'm afraid you will dump me before i find the next guy." She'll cry to convince you but then out of no where she will leave you and you will wonder "What happened? She said she didnt want to lose me?". You might think "Nah she wouldnt do that to me" but you'd be surprised how your little angel could turn into a heartless creature from hell.

Aye. The most important thing to realize is that everything she does is for her - not you. But this happened to me before. She wanted to keep me focused on her - while she played the field until she found a keeper. Then, I was no longer needed. All the jealousy and player / cheater claims and sabotaging was in full force prior to this moment. I thought I was a special cookie the whole time. Ha.

You cant allow this, or make it all about her. People are generally selfish, looking out for their own interests, and complain when those interests are threatened, taken away, or unavailable. A good rule of thumb is, never assume that anything is done for your sake, or that anything they dislike or unnapprove of applies to them. Double standards and hypocrisy is all too common - which goes back to selfishness. What she worries about is for her. She doesnt want YOU to find somebody else, because SHE hasnt yet. Not because you are so awesome and unbelievable. Once she does find someone - if ever - bye bye. In the meantime, you can stick around as a safety net incase things fall through with others.

Read between the lines.

 

[In2theGame]

Aye. The most important thing to realize is that everything she does is for her - not you. But this happened to me before. She wanted to keep me focused on her - while she played the field until she found a keeper. Then, I was no longer needed. All the jealousy and player / cheater claims and sabotaging was in full force prior to this moment. I thought I was a special cookie the whole time. Ha.

You cant allow this, or make it all about her. People are generally selfish, looking out for their own interests, and complain when those interests are threatened, taken away, or unavailable. A good rule of thumb is, never assume that anything is done for your sake, or that anything they dislike or unnapprove of applies to them. Double standards and hypocrisy is all too common - which goes back to selfishness. What she worries about is for her. She doesnt want YOU to find somebody else, because SHE hasnt yet. Not because you are so awesome and unbelievable. Once she does find someone - if ever - bye bye. In the meantime, you can stick around as a safety net incase things fall through with others.

Read between the lines.

You couldnt be more right and on top of that women love to set it up so that no matter what happens, shes the victim. For Example... Shes playing the victim already by saying she's afraid he might leave HER, if he does leave her then she goes telling EVERYONE that he's a big insensitive jerk and azzhole and she can do better. If he stay and tries to work it out.. He's smothering her and she left the relationship because he didnt give her enough space. i mean really, there is no way of winning so he might as well bail out asap. Its a pretty rigged game women try to lay out.

 

[Slickster]

Break=Over

 

[Voice]

Sometimes I feel bored of her around all the time. I'm assuming she feels the same.

You're bored and she's bored. That's a deal breaker. There's no challenge or excitement in your relationship. When she says she doesn't want you to see other girls, she's only halfway telling the truth. It would bruise her ego, but it will make her puss tingle if she saw you or suspected you were with other girls. She needs some sort of excitement, some competition and right now you're both boring the crap out of each other.

Also, why are living with this girl? Living with someone is the fast track to boredom. If she wants space then let her have it. Call it off and start looking for tail. You can always keep her on the side. Brush up on your female skills, work out and start living for you.

 

[betheman]

sheha sbeen planning her exit ages ago, just hasnt found the safety net...yet, beware, there will be another guy hovering and she will hook up soon, so be prepared for that. be clinical. no wishy washy ending. "its not working its best you take your stuff and leave now"

 

[XMinister]

We're going to go our separate ways and do our own things now. I already started to do so in my own way. That was her main complain. I ignore her too much because I go to the gym, hang out with friends, blog, etc.

I really like her, but moving in wasn't the best idea from what I see.

Thanks for all the advice guys. Looking at this from all these different eyes has given me a lot to think about.