girlfriend wants to explore

[newbeginning]

Age: 25+, please don't delete this post.

My gf of 4 years had decided to call it quits and see other people. She had moved away for school and i picked up another job to secure my future and obtain a house in this buyers' market. As a result, i was constantly tired and never had the mood to give her the attention that she deserved. I accept it as being my fault for her withdrawal. I received a promotion 4 weeks prior that gave me a combined income of 95k a year. Regardless, she left me for someone who can make her happy and spend more time with her. That fact alone tells me how money doesnt matter if youre working your butt off and neglecting the woman you love.

Advice for the guys out there. If you are genuinely in love with the girl youre with, then take the time and effort into satisfying her affectionately and not just sexually or financially. A relationship requires nourishment and not just routine phone calls a couple of times a day.

I don't know why im writing this, but if you folks out there have some comforting advice or opinions then i would love to hear it.

In the mean time, i'm seeing a girl who by far exceeds the ex in every way. Hopefully she'll make this pain short and light.

 

[jophil28]

Another guy who has learned that being able to "provide" for her financially comes second to attending to her emotional needs.

 

[LeftyLoosey]

Another guy who has learned that being able to "provide" for her financially comes second to attending to her emotional needs.

I disagree. How about finding a partner who shares your goals and compliments your lifestyle? Sounds like the OP may have found that in the new girl.

Women aren't happy when you don't make enough money, and they're not happy when you're raking it in because you need to spend more time at work to earn it.

:moon:

 

[decades]

actually it's natural to take all the blame when you get dumped. It's what brings most folks here actually. But in time, you will gain perspective and realize that it wasn't all your fault or even mostly your fault. It was the "dynamic's" fault. Learn from this. But don't go believing that if you had only done this or only done that, it would have turned out differently. You don't know that for certain.

 

[Poonani Maker]

I say we learn from our ancestors. MY grandpappa kept my grandmama in the Dark. He'd knock on her knock on her knock on her, always belittling her, and she loved him for it. She'd NEVER think to order him to do something, or speak to her unhappiness. She stayed in the kitchen!

I strive to find a woman who I can Mold that way, who I can place in the kitchen with the apron, and she'd better be happy about it damnit!

 

[pLaYtHiNg]

Poonani - Something seems off about that... the happiness could have been a facade... come on, who "loves" being belittled?? Not unless she had some issues of her own. It sounds like you want a very obsequious and subservient woman to bully and dominate. And you want her to be happy about it? I think you might be looking for a doormat!

My exes parents were very much that way... "Old Fashioned"

He was the man, he was smarter, more important; he ordered her around all day long and she practically wiped his @$$. Oh sure, she smiled and said she was happy... but behind his back she had become very passive-aggressive as a result of not being able to voice her frustrations outright.

He barked orders at her, put her down in front of company, (even me), yet she served this man left and right and never so much as got a "Thank you" or "Please". Then he had the nerve to tell everyone how much he loved her after she passed. Yeah who wouldn't miss their own personal slave??? It sure sucks making your own sandwich and wiping your own butt!!

As mentioned in many other topics before, I think women do want to feel like women, without feeling undermined, (or for some that means assuming less responsibility, because that is the "role of the man"), but I think anyone who allows themselves to be treated like that has self-esteem issues. I think a lot of women, myself included, would happily 'serve' their spouse if at least treated with dignity, respect and appreciation.

OP, it seems as though you'd found a woman who did not place emphasis on material possessions... I think she indeed wanted to be nurtured, loved and needed... unfortunately no amount of money can give this to her.

I'm glad that you've met someone you believe exceeds your ex, let's hope things work out for the best!

 

[DonGorgon]

there is nothing to talk about here.. just be cool and F her wen she comes home..

 

[radiodude]

Age: 25+, please don't delete this post.

My gf of 4 years had decided to call it quits and see other people. She had moved away for school and i picked up another job to secure my future and obtain a house in this buyers' market. As a result, i was constantly tired and never had the mood to give her the attention that she deserved. I accept it as being my fault for her withdrawal. I received a promotion 4 weeks prior that gave me a combined income of 95k a year. Regardless, she left me for someone who can make her happy and spend more time with her. That fact alone tells me how money doesnt matter if youre working your butt off and neglecting the woman you love.

Advice for the guys out there. If you are genuinely in love with the girl youre with, then take the time and effort into satisfying her affectionately and not just sexually or financially. A relationship requires nourishment and not just routine phone calls a couple of times a day.

I don't know why im writing this, but if you folks out there have some comforting advice or opinions then i would love to hear it.

In the mean time, i'm seeing a girl who by far exceeds the ex in every way. Hopefully she'll make this pain short and light.

The first 5 words in your post told me everything I needed to know. It vary's by the woman but if after 4 years you're still BF/GF, then she's on her way out if not already gone.

Good luck with the new woman and hopefully you will take this expereince and use it in your next relationship.

 

[sodbuster]

Lets see, making 95K,buying a house in a down market,found a new girl that is better than your ex,and you are here whining?WTF? Reach between your legs and see if you have a pair. I don't whine when my life is getting better-leave that for the woman.

 

[Luthor Rex]

Poonani - Something seems off about that... the happiness could have been a facade... come on, who "loves" being belittled??

Silly women who can't stay out of the MATURE MAN forum would be my first guess.

 

[piranha45]

wow, finally someone ELSE says something.

 

[jophil28]

Silly women who can't stay out of the MATURE MAN forum would be my first guess.

Aww, give the girl a break Luthor. Even silly women have opinions... as silly as they may be...

 

[pLaYtHiNg]

Get over it, already.

If you think I've said something "silly" or otherwise invalid, please do bring it to my attention.

Yes, we are in the Mature Man forum.

 

[jophil28]

Get over it, already.

If you think I've said something "silly" or otherwise invalid, please do bring it to my attention.

Yes, we are in the Mature Man forum.

Can you see that little three letter word after "MATURE" ?
Does that word have any meaning for you ?

And you are possibly on the wrong board if you think that you can tell long serving members here to "get over it ", in pink text, no less.

Go to your room without any supper, and NO TV for a week.

 

[Kevin Feng]

I find this to be a pretty tough balance in life in general, balancing your relationship with your work life.

Here's the deal, if you're going to build a successful business and looking to make it big, you're going to need to devote all your time into it.

I recently broke it off with a girl to pursue personal business ventures, because you're absolutely right, a relationship requires nourishment. But here's the silver lining, money does equate to status and its no secret, money does attract women.

Combine exceptional passive value with good active value, and you've got a formula that will attract women that you were consider "out of your league" as an average guy.

-Kevin

 

[pLaYtHiNg]

Go to your room without any supper, and NO TV for a week.

Oohh, do I get a spanking, too??

 

[Alle_Gory]

Oohh, do I get a spanking, too??

No, but I can give you a swirly.

This is a good thread. Thanks for the advice OP.

 

[Prodigy746]

YOU ARE GETTING PAID 95K A YEAR IN THIS JOB MARKET!!!!!!!! Bro you will have plenty of girls RUNNING after you man. I am 22 and i only HOPE that i can do the same as you at age 25. You should be proud of yourself and that girls is very very DUMB for leaving you. Trust me she is not smart and you should be happy that she left now before you got married and had to give her half of everything. A good women will appreciate a hard working man ...this one obviously didnt.

 

[slickaz]

dude i went through this with my one and only LTR.

I bought a house with a pool, 2 brand new cars, 2 dogs and had a job paying big 6 figure salary, and she started complaining that i dont have enough time for her. I dont do this or that etc etc.

Eventually we agreed to seperate on mutual terms.
Ive got more plates than all the cafe's in france and she's begging me to come back because she realized that the other guy with half the pay grade no house and public transport may have TOO much time on his hands for her and not enough money to take her out and treat her right.

Shes seeing the constant flow of high quality beautiful women with me at parties and clubs and knows these women are there to please me. I put them on rotation. Its all thanks to the money.

God, Your family and Money and you, keep it in that order and you'll never fail.

a woman that cant appreciate your hard working nature is only to be used as a one off then dumped.
You should settle with a woman that compliments your hard working nature and helps you positively with that money.
I have one plate that is extremely good at this, she is very careful even helps me do my accounts and researches and advises me on investing etc. plus its ALWAYS interesting to have that level of conversation with a hot woman!

 

[guywhoneedshelp]

Live life one day at a time