Girlfriend text me saying we need to talk?

[The North Dragon]

Sunday night we were out and it was good but we got to pub and there was this guy their she said she hated and couldn't stand. She persistently told me this before. Later on he came and started talking to us and they to had a good and he asked her to buy him a drink and she did. Despite she has no job and has very little money she can't afford to do things with me . Anyway me n her went to the dance floor n I leave to get a drink and literally straight away this guy comes in like a hawk n starts dancing with her! I was raging! Totally up close I was left standing there on the dance floor myself looking like a idiot. They weren't grinding or anything. I just walked out and she chased me we argued.

Next day we argued and I told her she never shown me respect and passed my boundaries. She told me I had OCD regarding respect and boundaries.


Today she just text me saying we need to talk about this relationship, it isn't the same blah blah.

What do I say?
I would still want this to work out but obviously have to work a lot on my self and respect my self not to let this happen again?

 

[No.Danny]

I just died laughing!! You've been here since 2012. Doing what lol. You're insecure. And this relationship is over. Break up with her before she breaks up with you. She obviously doesn't respect you.

 

[DJ Bax]

Its over buddy. If a woman "hates" a guy its because she wants him. She wants the other guy but don't feel bad, learn from it.

 

[apprenticedj]

Don't respond, make her wait and stress about it. That way she'll know there are consequences for her behaviour.

Also she hates him because he pumped and dumped her. Was he very good looking?

 

[hudpes]

^^^^^^This, but for her sake. As for your own sake, accept that it is over and move on.

 

[The North Dragon]

To late already replied.

Here's how it went so far

I replied

Me- what do we need to talk about'
Her- this relationship and everything else. talk like mature adults.
Me- how is it not working?
Her- you know it's not working me.
Me - ok
Her- I'm right though can't keep doing this.
Me- haven't replied , don't intend to

 

[expos]

I just walked out and she chased me we argued.

See what happens when you walk away? She chases. That's good. This is what you are going to do a couple times in a row to her to make her understand that she'll always be chasing you and not the other way around.

Next day we argued and I told her she never shown me respect and passed my boundaries. She told me I had OCD regarding respect and boundaries.

She's disrespecting your opinion and your feelings. That is a big no-no.

Today she just text me saying we need to talk about this relationship, it isn't the same blah blah.

She's lost respect for you. And she did it through a text of all things. Don't even respond to that text (you might have already). You need to be aloof and not give a FVCK.

What do I say?

You tell her how she's being a ***** to you and being disrespectful. Trust me, it will pain you to not be the nice guy here and you'll feel regret for being hard on her - but in the end - she will RESPECT the hell out of you for not letting her walk all over you. Women don't want to be with a guy who is a pansy.

Let me tell you that every woman I've blown off, get tough on, and went NC on for bad behavior always came back wimpering like a baby. Women are weak when you put up a boundary. If I chased and acted like a *****, which I have done, they RUN the other way.

Do what I say and post back.

 

[apprenticedj]

Well it's never too late, you have another opportunity to not respond but I have a question my friend.

She says "you can't keep doing this", does that mean things like this have happened many times? Are you a jealous person?

 

[expos]

Her- I'm right though can't keep doing this.
Me- haven't replied , don't intend to

Good. Don't respond. Make her wonder what happened.

A quote from Martin Heidegger, the German Philosopher:

“We pursue that which retreats from us.”

 

[The North Dragon]

Yeah we have fallen out regularly on nights out but not about guys. This is the first guy we have fell out over in our 1.5 years. I've never been controlling towards her either. She knows how I feel about things she should have none the consequences behind this

 

[No.Danny]

She's trying to get you to admit it's not working so she can dump you and go bang another guy momentarily with no remorse.

 

[The North Dragon]

Yeah I know and I am not falling for her trap.

No I wasn't a jealous person I felt secure in my relationship the whole time but after this incident she says I acted as if she cheated? No, I got mad coz she didn't show me respect!

 

[The North Dragon]

This is your core issue.


You want it to work out with a woman who has little respect for you. You should NEVER want it to work with a woman who behaves like this. You want it to work because you have a scarcity mindset and think you can't replace her.


As far as the dancing, you should have just interjected and told the guy "I'll take it from here". He completely tooled you and you should not have blamed her for it.

Now, where she did deserve blame was buying him a drink. HUGE red flag.

Lastly,

I would just reply to her, "I agree, I think it's best if we just stay friends". She will come back trying to make it work with you, BUT YOU MUST STAND STRONG. Otherwise you will cave and she will dump you within a month.

I know I can replace her but it's obviously just been a comfort thing and we have never broke up before. I know if I went out with the boys I could hook up with a chick no bother. It's just the all my past relationships I have ended comfortably so this is new to me.

 

[The North Dragon]

Why does a part of me still want to fix this despite what she has done that's whats bothering me.

 

[No.Danny]

That's your inner oneitis speaking. Don't listen

 

[goldengoose]

You again?

People have been telling you for over a year that your relationship is over. I think you're trolling to be honest with you. No bad relationship of this magnitude is going to last that long. You tried to "work it out" before and it never worked. She continues to make you feel like sh1t everyday. You want to work it out. No offense, if you're real, you have to be the biggest beta AFC on the face of this earth.

People including myself have wasted a lot of time trying to help you. You won't listen. Dump her ass or quit wasting our time posting more bvllsh1t about how she treats you with no respect. This relationship is over. Quit wasting your and our time on a lost cause.

 

[omardacool]

Sunday night we were out and it was good but we got to pub and there was this guy their she said she hated and couldn't stand. She persistently told me this before. Later on he came and started talking to us and they to had a good and he asked her to buy him a drink and she did. Despite she has no job and has very little money she can't afford to do things with me . Anyway me n her went to the dance floor n I leave to get a drink and literally straight away this guy comes in like a hawk n starts dancing with her! I was raging! Totally up close I was left standing there on the dance floor myself looking like a idiot. They weren't grinding or anything. I just walked out and she chased me we argued.

Next day we argued and I told her she never shown me respect and passed my boundaries. She told me I had OCD regarding respect and boundaries.


Today she just text me saying we need to talk about this relationship, it isn't the same blah blah.

What do I say?
I would still want this to work out but obviously have to work a lot on my self and respect my self not to let this happen again?

sounds like she digs *******s lol, she does not respect you bro , a real women thats into you would of never bought him a drink or danced with him , she obviously was into that guy or had a thing with him, but definetly dump her or treat her like shyt and just smash her from time to time ,,lol females like that need to be treated that way ..

 

[dk1990S111]

ya man sorry but I gotta agree with these guys. sounds like its over and you should have enough respect for yourself to not let her buy some guy a drink and then tell you "we need to talk its not the same" fvck that. If anyone in that relationship is going to say you have to talk it should be you so she obviously doesnt care to respect you enough to see things from your point of view

 

[TheMonkeyKing]

OP, go ghost. She doesn't sound like much of a catch. See her for a bit of sex if she re-engages, but she's not gf material.

And in case you were wondering, there's no such thing as 'obsessing' over respect and boundaries. People either have respect and in turn respect boundaries, or they don't.

Don't be uptight about it, just walk away. Then you can't be accused of 'obsessing'.

Oh, and don't bother arguing. Just walk away.

 

[The North Dragon]

Update

She face booked me again today after me ignoring her last night she said;

I like how u talking to my friend ( who is actually a mutual friend but must have went back and told her everything we spoke about!) to get information?? What the **** is that about. ? No Adam I'm not ****ing u around an I don't have anyone else. I'm falling out with u coz we don't get on anymore. We can't do anything with out arguing.I've told u that now. Stop getting other ppl involved or trying to dig up information on me!

I ignored that and she replied again.

Her- why would you do that Adam?

Sounds like she starting to change her story a bit.

I haven't replied but I thinks it's only because I really don't know what to say.