Girlfriend says I'm too dominant in bedroom

Sun Ra

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I'll keep it brief. We've been dating exclusively for a few months, she's completely into me, tells me she loves her, always wants to see me, etc. We have sex often and hard and on multiple occasions she's said it's the best she ever had. I'm pretty sure I'm getting her off (based on breathing, moaning, and her wetness), and she certainly says I do. We've met each other's parents, and I figure in her future.

That being said, she recently told me that she thought I was being too dominant sexually. I tell her to dress up in lingerie, or tell her that I'm going to eat her unconscious, that kind of thing (I don't tie her up or call her names or anything, although we do talk dirty). She's always done it with a smile and never complained, and I DO think she's just as sexually-charged as me. But now she tells me that she's been wanting to tell me about my domineering behavior for the past month. She says it's almost to the point where she doesn't want to have sex. She says in the past her boyfriends have adored her, held her hand during intercourse, put their arm underneath her back, etc.

I'm not sure what to think. She's definitely damaged (not badly, but more than I thought when we started dating), although she seems to have coped with it well. I don't have hurt feelings as much as I feel like the past couple months where she's felt this way have been a big lie. As far as I'm concerned, it's like glorified masturbation if it's only me enjoying it. I definitely want her to enjoy sex. By the way, after she told me, she and I "made love" perhaps more along her style. She was wet and she got off, and I certainly didn't mind it.

My question: if everything else is going fine, is this as big of a deal as I think it is? She says the millions of other things I do far outweigh this, but for me, sex is a big deal, as is sexual compatibility.

Quite frankly, this has never come before, so I look forward to anyone who might have tips or experience. I'd like to work this out with her (and she seems sure we will).

Thanks
 

SunnyD

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Sun Ra said:
I'll keep it brief. We've been dating exclusively for a few months, she's completely into me, tells me she loves her, always wants to see me, etc. We have sex often and hard and on multiple occasions she's said it's the best she ever had. I'm pretty sure I'm getting her off (based on breathing, moaning, and her wetness), and she certainly says I do. We've met each other's parents, and I figure in her future.

That being said, she recently told me that she thought I was being too dominant sexually. I tell her to dress up in lingerie, or tell her that I'm going to eat her unconscious, that kind of thing (I don't tie her up or call her names or anything, although we do talk dirty). She's always done it with a smile and never complained, and I DO think she's just as sexually-charged as me. But now she tells me that she's been wanting to tell me about my domineering behavior for the past month. She says it's almost to the point where she doesn't want to have sex. She says in the past her boyfriends have adored her, held her hand during intercourse, put their arm underneath her back, etc.

I'm not sure what to think. She's definitely damaged (not badly, but more than I thought when we started dating), although she seems to have coped with it well. I don't have hurt feelings as much as I feel like the past couple months where she's felt this way have been a big lie. As far as I'm concerned, it's like glorified masturbation if it's only me enjoying it. I definitely want her to enjoy sex. By the way, after she told me, she and I "made love" perhaps more along her style. She was wet and she got off, and I certainly didn't mind it.

My question: if everything else is going fine, is this as big of a deal as I think it is? She says the millions of other things I do far outweigh this, but for me, sex is a big deal, as is sexual compatibility.

Quite frankly, this has never come before, so I look forward to anyone who might have tips or experience. I'd like to work this out with her (and she seems sure we will).

Thanks
No, its not a big deal. Be thankful you have a woman that will speak openly about these kind of things and try to make things better for everyone. Better than pretending to enjoy it, then eventually just resenting you and not wanting sex at all right?

Maybe some of it was just a bit too much...no big deal. Everyone has different tastes. I like being dominated like that..love it. But thats just me. I talk to some of my girl friends and they're like "no, I dont like that. I feel disrespected..." Different strokes for different folks.

If sex is still frequent and very good..what are you worrying about?? Just tone it down a little and see how it goes.
 

DonGorgon

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She just wants more emotional stimulus to match the sexual energy... she is afraid you are more into sex than you are into her.

Dont give in!!!!!!! keep being you and keep being dominant... if you give in she will think she broke you and lose respect...

Just let her know you have deep feeling fro her and care about her and that is the main reason your sex drive is so high. Tell her you will help her be able to match you sexually as long as she is strong and dedicated - thus presenting her with a challenge...
 

MacAvoy

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SunnyD said:
Be thankful you have a woman that will speak openly about these kind of things and try to make things better for everyone. Better than pretending to enjoy it, then eventually just resenting you and not wanting sex at all right?
First off she's right be thankful that you have a women who will communicate with you about such an important function in a relationshp.

SunnyD said:
No, its not a big deal.
Here is where I'm going to have to disagree with Sunny. Why you ask because sex is the most important aspect in a relationship for a man and in the OP's own words

Sun Ra said:
But now she tells me that she's been wanting to tell me about my domineering behavior for the past month. She says it's almost to the point where she doesn't want to have sex.
I think its great that your dominating and taking control of the sexual aspect of the relationship and you NEED to continue doing so. However I think where your making a mistake, is your always having sex with her, you never make love to her.

You need to mix it up, once in a while you need to caress her and hold her and MAKE LOVE TO HER. She's a women and has her needs as well, sex is more about intimacy to a women than about the physical aspect.
 

SunnyD

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Good point, you can still ravish her...just show her the tender side once in awhile..haha.
 

WesCottII

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Sun Ra said:
As far as I'm concerned, it's like glorified masturbation if it's only me enjoying it. I definitely want her to enjoy sex. By the way, after she told me, she and I "made love" perhaps more along her style. She was wet and she got off, and I certainly didn't mind it.



Quite frankly, this has never come before, so I look forward to anyone who might have tips or experience. I'd like to work this out with her (and she seems sure we will).

Thanks
Seems to me like you HAVE worked it out. If you don't mind it, and she's enjoying it, then where's the foul?

I think that because you're out of the "junior" stage of the relationship, the "lust" has started to dissapear, to be replaced by "affection". Which means instead of throwing her forcefully onto the bed and piledriving her into next week, you have to appreciate her.
 

Leporello

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This is a song for the ladies
But fellas listen closely
You don't always have to **** her hard
In fact sometimes that's not right to do
Sometimes you've got to make some love
And ****in give her some smoochies too
Sometimes ya got to squeeze
Sometimes you've got to say please
Sometime you've got to say hey
I'm gonna **** you softly
I'm gonna screw you gently
I'm gonna hump you sweetly
I'm gonna ball you discreetly
And then you say hey I bought you flowers
And then you say wait a minute sally
I think I got somethin in my teeth
Could you get it out for me
That's ****in teamwork
Whats your favorite posish?
That's cool with me
Its not my favorite
But I'll do it for you
Whats your favorite dish?
Im not gonna cook it
But ill order it from Zanzibar
And then I'm gonna love you completely
And then I'll ****in **** you discreetly
And then I'll ****ing bone you completely
But then I'm gonna **** you hard
Hard
 

SilverSonnet

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Wouldn't you like to know? ;)
Leporello said:
This is a song for the ladies
But fellas listen closely
You don't always have to **** her hard
In fact sometimes that's not right to do
Sometimes you've got to make some love
And ****in give her some smoochies too
Sometimes ya got to squeeze
Sometimes you've got to say please
Sometime you've got to say hey
I'm gonna **** you softly
I'm gonna screw you gently
I'm gonna hump you sweetly
I'm gonna ball you discreetly
And then you say hey I bought you flowers
And then you say wait a minute sally
I think I got somethin in my teeth
Could you get it out for me
That's ****in teamwork
Whats your favorite posish?
That's cool with me
Its not my favorite
But I'll do it for you
Whats your favorite dish?
Im not gonna cook it
But ill order it from Zanzibar
And then I'm gonna love you completely
And then I'll ****in **** you discreetly
And then I'll ****ing bone you completely
But then I'm gonna **** you hard
Hard

Lmao, there's a cute vid with some little angels screwing some devil chick with these lyrics. lmao, funniest vid I ever saw
 

Bible_Belt

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Usually I have the opposite problem:

http://www.sosuave.net/forum/showthread.php?t=133284

My current gf, though submissive, is not really into anything rough. My last girl before her, not the one that old thread is about, was always begging me to beat her during sex, "harder, harder" was all she ever said when I hit her. She's call the next day and tell me how horny her bruises made her. Women certainly do vary in regard to how rough they like their sex.
 

If you currently have too many women chasing you, calling you, harassing you, knocking on your door at 2 o'clock in the morning... then I have the simple solution for you.

Just read my free ebook 22 Rules for Massive Success With Women and do the opposite of what I recommend.

This will quickly drive all women away from you.

And you will be able to relax and to live your life in peace and quiet.

KarmaSutra

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SunnyD said:
Good point, you can still ravish her...just show her the tender side once in awhile..haha.
By telling her how moist she is just before turning her cervix into hubba bubba?
 

KarmaSutra

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Leporello said:
This is a song for the ladies
But fellas listen closely
You don't always have to fvck her hard
In fact sometimes that's not right to do
Sometimes you've got to make some love
And fvckin give her some smoochies too
Sometimes ya got to squeeze
Sometimes you've got to say please
Sometime you've got to say hey
I'm gonna fvck you softly
I'm gonna screw you gently
I'm gonna hump you sweetly
I'm gonna ball you discreetly
And then you say hey I bought you flowers
And then you say wait a minute sally
I think I got somethin in my teeth
Could you get it out for me
That's fvckin teamwork
Whats your favorite posish?
That's cool with me
Its not my favorite
But I'll do it for you
Whats your favorite dish?
Im not gonna cook it
But ill order it from Zanzibar
And then I'm gonna love you completely
And then I'll fvckin fvck you discreetly
And then I'll fvcking bone you completely
But then I'm gonna fvck you hard
Hard
Absolutely the best Tenacious D song ever!
 
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