Girlfriend really distant over text, and not intrested in sex as much?

[KaiLowRen]

nearly 2 years with this girl, and its like she completely changed over the past month. she used to text me constantly throughout the day and wed have fun upbeat conversations and all that but over the past month shes been extremely boring and giving bland answers and even when I try teasing her in a way she just gets distant and practicly ignores it.

normally i wouldnt GAF about this but she hasnt been intrested in sex at all either.., even after a really fun date night when before we used to rip each others clothes off when we got back, now she gets bitchy and plays the "im too tired I just wanna go to sleep, blah blah blah" card.

I have a strong feeling that theres another guy or shes cheating or something but im not sure. what should I do?

 

[Armourhead]

Begin to emotionally distance yourself. If she is cheating on you this will help immensely. Resist the urge to try and reel her back in.
If she isn't cheating on you, by making yourself scarce, she will try to reel YOU back in and you can carry on.

It sucks, I know, but talk to other girls/spin plates, work on your hobbies, get out and do stuff.

If she does call and ask whats up just tell her you've been busier than usual. Judge from there. Go with your gut instinct, not your heart.

 

[FCB]

Break up. Sure you can withdraw but good chance she won't gaf because she's either cheating, about to cheat or is about to break up with you. Either way there is a strong chance she's already checked out of the relationship, so you should too by ending it.

 

[grayclif]

Yeah, break up with her before she does it to you. Spin plates. Keep us posted.

 

[Lozboss]

I'd try the soft No Contact first then go from there.

If her IL doesn't increase then Nuke her from Orbit. Just ghost her. No explanations. Just block.

 

[Glumix]

Not a huge fan of the dump before you get dumped theory. Not sure it is constructive in any way. It is just ego protective. And we honestly don't care about protecting our ego.

What should be natural is that you are the prize and you do not need her if she withdraws. So the soft-NC is, IMO, the way to go. Be kind, polite, funny, ****y, but do not initiate anything anymore. She has to win you back because you do not care about being with a boring, no-fun, no-sex girl.

 

[LuckyStrike88]

nearly 2 years with this girl, and its like she completely changed over the past month. she used to text me constantly throughout the day and wed have fun upbeat conversations and all that but over the past month shes been extremely boring and giving bland answers and even when I try teasing her in a way she just gets distant and practicly ignores it.

normally i wouldnt GAF about this but she hasnt been intrested in sex at all either.., even after a really fun date night when before we used to rip each others clothes off when we got back, now she gets *****y and plays the "im too tired I just wanna go to sleep, blah blah blah" card.

I have a strong feeling that theres another guy or shes cheating or something but im not sure. what should I do?

Break up with her right now. And don't look back, she'll come onto you to try and take back the power. But never give in and tell her to go **** herself, you will feel free and powerful. Happy end.

 

[LuckyStrike88]

Ps. Don't explain why, be short and icecold, nothing more.

 

[Desdinova]

nearly 2 years with this girl, and its like she completely changed over the past month.

Any major change in the personality of the woman you're dating indicates that there's another man in the picture. If she's not fvcking another guy, she's showing high interest in a guy she wants to fvck.

Women are naturally adaptable and open to new things and activities that the man (who is their primary interest) is involved in. You'll end up seeing a change in music tastes, a newly developed interest in a specific hobby, and many other things that this new guy is interested in. When she reaches this point, nothing you do will grab her interest back unless the new guy cuts contact with her. Your only purpose is to be a backup until the sexual barrier has been broken between her and the new guy. What constitutes as a broken sexual barrier is entirely dependent on the woman. It may be a kiss, hand holding, a lay, or a verbal commitment.

 

[KaiLowRen]

appreciate all the responses, I had a gut feeling she was cheating/intrested in another guy but you guys definitely convinced me. I would try the soft no contact thing but tbh ive been stressed about this relationship for the past 2 weeks and just wanna get it over with already.

should I break up with her in person? or should I do it over text?

 

[Desdinova]

should I break up with her in person? or should I do it over text?

Do it the fastest, most convenient way possible. The sooner you end it, the sooner you get on the road to recovery, the sooner you move on with your life.

 

[NSX-R]

She needs to make more of an effort, but in my experience sitting her down for a talk won't do much (or might only for a week or two).

.

True. I believe actions speak louder than words. Talking is not what a man should do , women are experts in this area.
He should let her realize herself where she's going wrong. This way is good for both of them.

 

[Genos]

I would not break up with her just yet, agreed with Mauser96. Just distance yourself for a while. Don't initiate texts, ask to meet, etc. Just focus on your career. Give her a week or two to come back around. If things still aren't going well, then you can cut things off. But, as others have said, soft-NC first. There's no need to go nuclear right from the outset. This is a woman you've spent two years with right? Give her a little more time - it's likely the issue is a man, but if it isn't you don't want to have pulled the plug for no reason.

 

[SmooveMooves]

Break up with this girl. Don't 'play it safe.' Take immediate action. She won't know what hit her. If she values the relationship she will try to salvage it. If she goes along with it way too easily you have how much she cares.

Its time to stop being so hesitant and calculating in our lives. Sometimes we need to make **** happen.

 

[Lozboss]

Update us OP please. Do not just ghost this thread.

 

[AttackFormation]

I disagree with the action of "breaking up" with her, for the reason that for her the relationship is already over anyway - they've already broken up. This is a subtle example of what some of us on this board tend to say, that her boredom started earlier than the visible symptoms which only appear when she's confident she has or can line the next branch up. In other words a girl displaying these behaviours is like a corpse floating after death - it's a post-mortem sign of her feelings. He would just be doing her a favour. I would do what Mauser96 says. Just pretend she's been erased from existence and move on with your life, meet new women.

 

[KaiLowRen]

Update us OP please. Do not just ghost this thread.

post 12 bro.

another update:
decided to just go with everyones advice and not straight up break up with her yet, but definitely gonna just assume its over and never initiate anything again and berely respond to her if she messages me. if at anytime over the next week I feel like I just wanna move on already Ill just straight up break up with her.

thanks everyone for saving me from being an AFC.

 

[AttackFormation]

post 12 bro.

another update:
decided to just go with everyones advice and not straight up break up with her yet, but definitely gonna just assume its over and never initiate anything again and berely respond to her if she messages me. if at anytime over the next week I feel like I just wanna move on already Ill just straight up break up with her.

thanks everyone for saving me from being an AFC.

Perfect course of action imo, except that you don't need to "break up" with her. It's already broken up.

 

[Armourhead]

Yeah, I feel that formally breaking up with her at this point is too late on your part, it may just come off as being butthurt. Just distance yourself completely from her. If she asks to hang you can but let her do all the asking. If she does decide to let you know she wants to formally breakup, just act nonchalant, like you don't give a ****. If you want to feel like you can walk away proud from this then you need to care the least.

You've got the major advantage of seeing this before it happens to you. Don't let this oppurtunity slip away.

 

[El Payaso]

If after a while, you feel you want to end things. Go ahead and end it with her formally. You'll be able to make a clean break.

That way she can't turn around and accuse you of cheating because you were "technically" still in a relationship with her even though she was ignoring you the whole time.