girlfriend kissed her ex?

B

BlueAlpha1

Guest
I hear what everyone is saying. I especially understand that analogy about the high score list because at the back of my mind I do truly feel like she is actually not over him. Which could mean that he is the true one and only but i am the safer bet since i am a nice guy. We all have heard the saying nice guys finish last i am starting to believe it very much.

I didn't mention this before but i told her i am taking a break to clear my mind and make a decision whether to forgive her or not. She called me yesterday telling me shes been crying herself to sleep and she misses me so much. I told her that If i was to even consider forgiving her and getting back with her that it would be on my terms, I stated all my terms, and she has to completely erase any trace of her ex from existence. She agreed, she said she will never do anything to even step out of line again. Maybe i am a sucker but i believed her, she did sound hurt and down when i spoke to her.

What y'all think? At least give it another shot and see if things change and at the first sign of something happening that im not remotely okay with at that point tell her she had her chance and blew it? We truly did have a connection. It wasn't all fake. I truly did feel warmth and love coming from her.

She told me that all she was trying to do was forgive her ex so that she could move on and be happy with me. In doing so, she was in a vulnerable state and had a temporary lapse in judgement or at least so the story goes. She pleaded for forgiveness for about an hour over the phone.

There is a huge battle happening in my head. On one side the logic is telling me dump her on the spot and i have all the evidence i need. However, on the other side, the emotion is trying to cling on to all the happy memories we have had. This year has been a big year in my life. I actually had an operation, while i was recovering, she was there for me helping me and pampering me. I completed my A levels and graduated, she was there and she was there when i got my results and when i got accepted into university. I was there for a couple important steps in her life as well. Also, i never felt like i have clicked with anyone as much as her.

Should i be willing to let go of such memories that can only happen once and the person i shared them with, who supported me through them?
Like i said the logic is still there fighting an equal battle but right now neither side is winning. Some more input from you guys will surely help me make a decision.
The length of your posts means you've already lost. You're way too invested, sitting there feverishly typing out hypotheticals and foaming at the mouth at how to get back into good graces. Because you're this far gone, even a "Fake it til you make it" gimmick won't work for you. She'll sense it.

You've lost this one. Accept it, and get back out there. You'll come out of this a better man.
 

Rock Steady

Don Juan
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Get rid of her. She'll do it again, and worse. You'll regret it if you don't.
 

CuddleJunkie

Master Don Juan
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They are telling you that you are in love with being in love and not that much with the girl. And dammit, I think they are so right. I think that I have the same problem, because after days of no-contact, I don't miss the girl (and because it ended SO bad), but I miss cuddling, taking a walk while holding hands and that stuff, but if I think of the girl I just feel angry.

So I say, dump her, do no-contact, and maybe you'll discover that you were more in love with the romantic live that with the girl.
 
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