Girlfriend Kissed her ex!

[darkwolf08]

Right where to begin,

Well my girlfriend of 2.5 years has kissed her ex. She did this about 2 months ago, and I found out 1 month ago off her ex (who never really liked me since he was an ex-mate). Well, at first they had only just began speaking again, and I was a little weary at first. They apparently kissed within the first 2 weeks of them starting to speak again.

Well for the month after the kiss I was an arse, i didnt know that anything had happned, but my gut instinct told me otherwise.. and it was justified in the end. I gave her a bit of a hard time and her ex finally admitted it (much to her displeasure).

Well initially they told me it was a peck and no one knew, then well i have been finding out more and more eversince, like the fact she actually doubted me and couldnt make her mind up about what she wanted for the 3 days following the kiss, and that it was a little more... passionate. (I found this out today).

I am certain it was just a kiss, nothing more. I understand she has kept things away from me in fear of how i would react (my dad ended up in mental hospital when he found out my mum cheated), and partly to ensure we stayed together. We are engaged to be married and have been for about 11 months.

There is no doubt in my mind that she wants to be with me. We have been through hell together during this time and were happy at the moment. I love her to bits.

However, she told me she still 'cares alot' about her ex, and she wont just ditch him, since he is a good friend, but Im not comfortable with them being together. Just in case old feelings come back. I have no idea what to do, I love her so much, but I cant handle him?

Thank you

P.S. Me and my partner have been friends for 5 years, it was partly due to me she ended up with him in the first place....

 

[ready123]

dump her

 

[justiceseeker]

Right where to begin,

Well my girlfriend of 2.5 years has kissed her ex. She did this about 2 months ago, and I found out 1 month ago off her ex (who never really liked me since he was an ex-mate). Well, at first they had only just began speaking again, and I was a little weary at first. They apparently kissed within the first 2 weeks of them starting to speak again.

Well for the month after the kiss I was an arse, i didnt know that anything had happned, but my gut instinct told me otherwise.. and it was justified in the end. I gave her a bit of a hard time and her ex finally admitted it (much to her displeasure).

Well initially they told me it was a peck and no one knew, then well i have been finding out more and more eversince, like the fact she actually doubted me and couldnt make her mind up about what she wanted for the 3 days following the kiss, and that it was a little more... passionate. (I found this out today).

I am certain it was just a kiss, nothing more. I understand she has kept things away from me in fear of how i would react (my dad ended up in mental hospital when he found out my mum cheated), and partly to ensure we stayed together. We are engaged to be married and have been for about 11 months.

There is no doubt in my mind that she wants to be with me. We have been through hell together during this time and were happy at the moment. I love her to bits.

However, she told me she still 'cares alot' about her ex, and she wont just ditch him, since he is a good friend, but Im not comfortable with them being together. Just in case old feelings come back. I have no idea what to do, I love her so much, but I cant handle him?

Thank you

P.S. Me and my partner have been friends for 5 years, it was partly due to me she ended up with him in the first place....

Dude, you are a TOTAL PUNK if you don't NEXT this hor IMMEDIATELY.

ARE YOU FVCKING KIDDING ME?????? You actually think they just "kissed"? And how the hell are you so "sure"?

And what is this shyt that she still cares a lot about him, and won't ditch him because he's a friend? If you let this slvt get away with disrespecting you like that, you derserve to be with the cvnt.

TELL HER TO GO GO HELL AND NEVER SPEAK TO HER AGAIN. IF SHE "CARES" SO MUCH ABOUT THIS GUY, TELL HER TO GO BE WITH HIM.

 

[Juan_Man]

If she cheats once and you forgive her so quickly, she will do it again. Take some time away from her. Figure out if this is the type of person you want to be with.

 

[gottiwill]

Yepp. f*ck her. Shes not the one.

Easier said then done, yes I know, but it must be done. She even thinks its okay to still care for him. Yeaa I don't think so, tell her otherwise. She can't have it all.

Good luck man

 

[darkwolf08]

wowza, quick response..
I know they just kissed, cus they havnt had any oppertunity with current circumstances. Hes a friend that both of us sort of like. He can be a nice guy from time 2 time.

There was one detail i missed, me and her got together at the very end of her relationship, it wasnt quite overlapping, but very close. the sex was fantastic!

She can be a right pain in the arse, but i love her to bits, she spent a bloody fortune on my bday, and gets quite upset whenever i bring it up (cus its always me). Shes been in my life for so many years now, loosing her seems unbearable.

Every time i tried to leave her, i dont manage, and every time she has tried to leave me by screaming 'fvck off', it never works out. We always end up back together. Were at uni, and looking to get a house together...

Btw we had most of our firsts together.
First kiss (we were 14 at the time - previous relationship)
First sex / Only sex - Got caught in the act by my dad - Good times lol
We went 2 uni together, and stayed together.

That **** just wants to hurt me, cus i hurt him! She would drop him if i pushed hard enough, but it was me that got ther through the worst of her childhood, but he was there too, trying to help. We really have known each other for years and been through so much.

 

[I.A.F.Y.B.]

1. She kissed her ex.

2. She is unsure of who she wants. She told you she still had feelings for her ex.

Now, you want you marry this hor!? How old are you?

Get rid of her while you can.

 

[I'm Charming]

Grow a spine - have some self respect and get rid of her.

 

[darkwolf08]

Im 23, shes 24 and gorgeous! - Unfortunately (Both 4th Year Students)

She is sure of who she wants - me, she was unsure after the kiss for 3 days, but I can relate 2 that in a way - the girl was confused, didnt expect a kiss and well, didnt know what to do, she didnt really have any1 to turn 2.

Thing is, im not so sure about leaving her YET, but i want this guy either gone, or well... shot lol (joking). I cant exactly Demand it, thats a little unfair, but if i pester her, shell go off me and we wont have sex most days... (which would be a bvgger).

 

[I.A.F.Y.B.]

Get Out Of The Matrix!! See Reality For What It Is. Not Your Fantasy World Of Perception Of Hiding The Truth. See It For What It Is.

 

[Love Ninja]

Dude, I completely understand because I was in the same EXACT situation.

Let me tell you how it ended:
My "girlfriend" decide she was confused again during a National Concert Tour with her.
She told her parents I manipulated her into the relationship to begin with.
She start having sex with more men behind my back- Heck, Why Not?!?! I basically told her it was okay by staying with her.
In the end she ditched me, and left me in $20,000 in debt.

SO....? What the fudge in your soul is telling you that you need or deserve this!?!?!?

MOVE ON!!!

Years from now if she grows up... and takes responsibility for her "feelings" you'll truly know.

 

[blackhatter]

You kidding me bro?

I know you're not going to like the advice you're getting, but we're giving it to you for a reason. We've all been in the same situations and have had the same outcomes.

Let me summarize your situation right now, because I've seen it happen 1000 times.

Your girl used to be with your ex-mate.. she dumped him for you. This was a redflag in the beginning. Women who move from guy to guy that quick can't be trusted. She will do the same to you! Don't think just because you were her first and this and that cute stuff, she won't move on. It happened to me with my first and it will happen to you.

Second of all, you don't know that it was just a kiss. And even if it was, she didn't even tell you! How can you trust her to tell you that they didn't have sex? I mean they used to be together and do other stuff so I assume that's what they would do if they got together. There's no way of knowing what she's done unless you have a bracelet attached to her leg. If it was my guess, they definitely did more than just kiss. Think : If you were cheating on your girlfriend you'd do a lot more than just kiss right? Come on.

Thirdly, the fact that she won't stop talking to him for YOU is reason enough for you to get rid of her. She's not keeping him around because he's a good friend, she's keeping him around because he's backup when she flushes you down the drain. I was with my girl for 2 years and I thought she loved me "to bits" and she flushed me down the drain within 2 days.

You have so many signs here telling you to get out. You're actually lucky, cause most guys don't get many signs at all. Pick up the slack and end this relationship before you really get hurt. The separation of you two for a week or so won't be as bad as the hurt she puts on you when you find out she's ****ing another dude and loving every second of it.

It's time to man up dude. You're 24 and it's not a little boy's game anymore. Manhood should come to you very soon and this is part of it. It's every man for himself out there, so don't get stuck under the tires of others!

 

[I.A.F.Y.B.]

Why Are The Mods Controlling Me From Having All Caps!!

Pull The Plug Man. Don't Marry Her!!! If You Won't Listen To Us In Getting Rid Of Her. Keep Dating Her For Awhile And See For Yourself She Isn't Worth It.

 

[BeyondCharm]

Dude, this is definetely uncalled for. If she did it once, she'll do it again. The girl has no boundaries!

 

[blackhatter]

Why Are The Mods Controlling Me From Having All Caps!!

Pull The Plug Man. Don't Marry Her!!! If You Won't Listen To Us In Getting Rid Of Her. Keep Dating Her For Awhile And See For Yourself She Isn't Worth It.

I agree, the mods have been very strict lately. I had one of my posts removed

 

[darkwolf08]

I understand where you are coming from.. She removed herself from the kiss very quickly and didnt speak 2 him for a while, hes never got over her. She actually went to see him as a friend, cus id been distant from her due to family issues (same ones that makes me sure she hasnt had sex). She just wanted someone to talk to, since I admit i was an arse.

He took advantage of a girl in need, a right tosser tbh, and I want to kill him, but hes the closest thing shes got to a friend away from me. I really want to kill him sometimes.

They did nothing in their relationship except kiss (she wasnt ready). She told me during their relationship that she did actually want me, she just knew it was impossible due to my ex. So I left my ex, because my partner was the most gorgeous and warm and kind hearted person i knew.

She cant appologise enough for events of the past, but I dont trust him one bit not to try and work his way back into her life.

I reckon that I am actually a bit of a burk myself, I do continually bring it up, prying for the truth... maybe its a little harsh, cus its pushing us apart. And in a way i dont blame her for not wanting to ditch him, since i might be leaving her, she at least wants a friend.

Nothing is ever easy, you think you know someone....

 

[I.A.F.Y.B.]

Wait Wait Wait. Is She A Virgin?

 

[Love Ninja]

STOP all this!

Stop being mad with him... you're trying to alleviate her from her choices.
HE OWES YOU NOTHING! He SHOULD bang your girl if you let him!

They can't be "good friends"... that is is just silly!

For GOD sake take a stand!
Break-up IMMEDIATLY and tell her when she totally ditches him you'll consider things again... and in the meantime, date other women NOW!

See what reaction THAT gets!

 

[blackhatter]

I understand where you are coming from.. She removed herself from the kiss very quickly and didnt speak 2 him for a while, hes never got over her. She actually went to see him as a friend, cus id been distant from her due to family issues (same ones that makes me sure she hasnt had sex). She just wanted someone to talk to, since I admit i was an arse.

He took advantage of a girl in need, a right tosser tbh, and I want to kill him, but hes the closest thing shes got to a friend away from me. I really want to kill him sometimes.

They did nothing in their relationship except kiss (she wasnt ready). She told me during their relationship that she did actually want me, she just knew it was impossible due to my ex. So I left my ex, because my partner was the most gorgeous and warm and kind hearted person i knew.

She cant appologise enough for events of the past, but I dont trust him one bit not to try and work his way back into her life.

I reckon that I am actually a bit of a burk myself, I do continually bring it up, prying for the truth... maybe its a little harsh, cus its pushing us apart. And in a way i dont blame her for not wanting to ditch him, since i might be leaving her, she at least wants a friend.

Nothing is ever easy, you think you know someone....

Well if you're headstrong on keeping this gal, you need to put your foot down with this talking to her ex business.

I don't care if he's just a friend, you don't need to worry about that when you're saying you're about to MARRY this girl (who just cheated on you btw? It will happen again..)

There should be no need to beg for her to drop him. If she doesn't do it the first time you ask, you need to leave her. If I told my woman that she needed to drop a friend that she calls on the phone and so forth, she will. She knows that if she DOESN'T, then I will leave her. Your girl seems like she knows that she can walk all over you atm.

So, bleh, do what you want.

 

[darkwolf08]

Hell no, she was before me, and Im still the only guy shes ever been with sexually... She had bad experiences... but only ever slept with me...

Any ideas how to get rid of him, i have certain reasons id rather not leave her for.