Girlfriend just turned 21

[Xenon]

Hey guys,

My girlfriend of 8+ months just turned 21 (i'm 28). She has not been the party type during the time of our relationship (she does have a fake ID and can go out whenever she wants.)

However, it seems that lately she has been wanting to go out a bit more than usual. As in, almost every weekend. She usually goes out with her friends, who I have met and I genuinely think that they like me (I work 1 hour from her). She is a junior in college.

I don't want to look insecure by saying "No you can't go out", but how do you convey to her that excessive partying, in my mind, is unacceptable behavior for someone in a relationship? I don't think she would cheat on me, but I know how women are when they go out and get drunk.

 

[young_gun]

Hey guys,

My girlfriend of 8+ months just turned 21 (i'm 28). She has not been the party type during the time of our relationship (she does have a fake ID and can go out whenever she wants.)

However, it seems that lately she has been wanting to go out a bit more than usual. As in, almost every weekend. She usually goes out with her friends, who I have met and I genuinely think that they like me (I work 1 hour from her). She is a junior in college.

I don't want to look insecure by saying "No you can't go out", but how do you convey to her that excessive partying, in my mind, is unacceptable behavior for someone in a relationship? I don't think she would cheat on me, but I know how women are when they go out and get drunk.

My guess is that she's going to go out no matter if you tell her it's ok or not, so you may as well save yourself some hassle and not fight it. She just turned 21 for crying out loud, she's going to have to experience the scene firsthand. Girls at bars/clubs, especially without any guys around (boyfriends, platonic friends, co-workers, etc) get hit on left and right, so mentally prepare yourself for some interesting scenarios. That's not to say that your girl is going to be giving her number out like candy, but there's no doubt she'll get some attention, especially if she's a 6 or higher looks-wise. Once again though, you're going to have to be completely at ease with it, don't fight it and be totally ok with her going out with her friends without you around. If you come across as overbearing, she'll resent you for it and it'll give her ammo to go out and do something stupid (like cheat on you).

I obviously don't know your girl but in my opinion you shouldn't date a 21 year-old girl (who hasn't gotten this phase out of her system) especially at age 28. From what I've read I'm guessing you've had your fair share of fun at bars, but those times are past you now. Are there any specific reasons or experiences that have come up that are making you worry about her like this? Has she given you any reasons to believe she'll potentially be unfaithful to you when you aren't around? If you're honest with yourself and trust your gut, you'll never be wrong.

 

[Married Buried]

Get ready to launch. She wants to start riding the c0ck carousel.

Just tell her you don't like it but you can't stop her.

 

[origin138]

I don't think she would cheat on me, but I know how women are when they go out and get drunk.

You clamping down on her out of jealousy/lack of options WILL make her cheat/break it off, I can guarantee that. If you want to lose her or give her a boost onto the **** carousel, just get jealous and controlling.

If she wants to go out, let her. Read Rollo's post on GNO/GNO sh1t tests here: http://rationalmale.wordpress.com/2012/08/27/girls-night-out/

As she goes out and starts to get more attention from guys, you will start to see the effects of hypergamy in your relationship. The best thing you can do is have options, and be better than the guys approaching her. Locking yourself down with this one puts you in a very bad place should she flip in a moment's notice.

Keep your options open, have a social life outside of her, and make yourself into a man of high value. Make money, dress nice, pursue goals, learn game, and don't make any part of your life hinge on this 8 month deal. These are the things you can control. On the other hand, her behavior when she's out with her friends isn't one of them.

 

[EastWind]

I'm going to have to disagree with the posters so far. I'm not saying she will, in fact, cheat, but the scenario is there. Your being uncomfortable with it should be enough for you to make some final decisions and, possibly, for her to change her behavior.

I don't see this playing out any other way than the two of you breaking up.

Of course, we don't know the girl, but statistically, this is going to go up in flames shortly.

Depending on how much it bothers you, just tell her you won't be in a relationship with a girl who parties more than <your personal limit>. She'll ***** and say you're being insensitive and don't care about her needs and wants and fun. But the truth of it all is that you're not compatible if she likes to party and you don't. Or don't like her to.

Whatever may be the reasons for you not liking it is secondary. The reality is that you're unhappy with her doing it, so act accordingly.

21 year old girls will act like 21 year old girls, though.

 

[MikeAndreson789]

It is quite difficult to change her behavior because she is not able to take her decisions. But, if you show your interest in her then it could be some change in her behavior and she will be change completely.

 

[Xenon]

Thank you all for the responses. So far, I have not said anything to her about my thoughts on this and have taken a care-free attitude towards her going out. This is my first LTR in a LONG time, and I know I have a lot to learn in how to handle these situations.

I have been reading as much as I can on this from various blogs, but I appreciate all the responses you have given. I'll reply to all in this post.

My guess is that she's going to go out no matter if you tell her it's ok or not, so you may as well save yourself some hassle and not fight it. She just turned 21 for crying out loud, she's going to have to experience the scene firsthand. Girls at bars/clubs, especially without any guys around (boyfriends, platonic friends, co-workers, etc) get hit on left and right, so mentally prepare yourself for some interesting scenarios. That's not to say that your girl is going to be giving her number out like candy, but there's no doubt she'll get some attention, especially if she's a 6 or higher looks-wise. Once again though, you're going to have to be completely at ease with it, don't fight it and be totally ok with her going out with her friends without you around. If you come across as overbearing, she'll resent you for it and it'll give her ammo to go out and do something stupid (like cheat on you).

I obviously don't know your girl but in my opinion you shouldn't date a 21 year-old girl (who hasn't gotten this phase out of her system) especially at age 28. From what I've read I'm guessing you've had your fair share of fun at bars, but those times are past you now. Are there any specific reasons or experiences that have come up that are making you worry about her like this? Has she given you any reasons to believe she'll potentially be unfaithful to you when you aren't around? If you're honest with yourself and trust your gut, you'll never be wrong.

I thought she HAD gotten it out of her system. She mentions her past, where she would party/drink quite a bit, and how she doesn't do that anymore. However, we all know actions speak louder than words.

This past weekend, I noticed her getting text messages from someone (it was just a number, no contact info) asking to go out for coffee. Now, I have no idea who it was (could have been anyone) but she did go out two nights before with her friends. She then hid the messages or deleted the number, because the conversation wasn't in her phone (yes, I checked). This led to my question here.

As you surmised, I've had my time in bars and those times are past me.

Get ready to launch. She wants to start riding the c0ck carousel.

Just tell her you don't like it but you can't stop her.

I am prepared for this. No doubt about it.

You clamping down on her out of jealousy/lack of options WILL make her cheat/break it off, I can guarantee that. If you want to lose her or give her a boost onto the **** carousel, just get jealous and controlling.

If she wants to go out, let her. Read Rollo's post on GNO/GNO sh1t tests here: http://rationalmale.wordpress.com/20...rls-night-out/

As she goes out and starts to get more attention from guys, you will start to see the effects of hypergamy in your relationship. The best thing you can do is have options, and be better than the guys approaching her. Locking yourself down with this one puts you in a very bad place should she flip in a moment's notice.

Keep your options open, have a social life outside of her, and make yourself into a man of high value. Make money, dress nice, pursue goals, learn game, and don't make any part of your life hinge on this 8 month deal. These are the things you can control. On the other hand, her behavior when she's out with her friends isn't one of them.

I read the Rollo post, and definitely agree with what he says. I had read that before, but it's always good to refresh.

It has been my goal not to get jealous or controlling with her at all. I am definitely improving myself: I have a PhD in Chemistry with good job prospects, am active socially (various sports teams), physically fit (avid SEALFitter), and know that I have options outside this girl.

How will I see the effects of hypergamy? I know what it means, but how will it manifest itself in her actions?

I'm going to have to disagree with the posters so far. I'm not saying she will, in fact, cheat, but the scenario is there. Your being uncomfortable with it should be enough for you to make some final decisions and, possibly, for her to change her behavior.

I don't see this playing out any other way than the two of you breaking up.

Of course, we don't know the girl, but statistically, this is going to go up in flames shortly.

Depending on how much it bothers you, just tell her you won't be in a relationship with a girl who parties more than <your personal limit>. She'll ***** and say you're being insensitive and don't care about her needs and wants and fun. But the truth of it all is that you're not compatible if she likes to party and you don't. Or don't like her to.

Whatever may be the reasons for you not liking it is secondary. The reality is that you're unhappy with her doing it, so act accordingly.

21 year old girls will act like 21 year old girls, though.

I am prepared for this to end, and if she starts going out all the time, I will definitely tell her my convictions and possibly break up with her.

Chances are, she will get addicted to going out for awhile, simply for the male attention that comes with it. She will be given a lot of upgrade opportunities if she is attractive.

Short answer is, there isn't much you can do about it other than go out yourself and keep improving everything about you.

She's definitely attractive; I would say 7.5 or so, extremely feminine. Your advice is what I will do.

It is quite difficult to change her behavior because she is not able to take her decisions. But, if you show your interest in her then it could be some change in her behavior and she will be change completely.

She knows I'm interested, and she knows I have other options. I'm gonna play it by ear, so to speak, and see what happens.

 

[Colossus]

I am definitely improving myself: I have a PhD in Chemistry with good job prospects, am active socially (various sports teams), physically fit (avid SEALFitter), and know that I have options outside this girl.

How will I see the effects of hypergamy?

Hey Xenon,

The short answer is, like the others mentioned, there really isn't anything you can do to curtail her partying behavior. She may have claimed her partying is a thing of the past, but 21 year olds claim a lot of things. Sorry for the redundancy but she is a newly-minted 21 year old American female. Plus that thing about the text-deleting sounds really shady.

I've always found that in game and relationships, the simplest answer is usually correct. Basically you either need to prepare yourself for some rocky outcomes, or break up with her preemptively. Even if you WERE successful in getting her to lay off the boozing, she would resent you for making her miss out on that part of her life and alienating her from her peers.

This is kind of a case where the age gap is rearing it's ugly head and you are at that proverbial fork in the road. The advantage you have is that you are older, a male, and have more foresight than her so you already know how this will likely pan out. Thus you are in an advantageous position.

Regarding the hypergamy thing, you sound like a guy who is in the upper echelon of success for your age group, and she will be hard-pressed to do "better" than you, although that does not preclude her philandering. Girls her age just do not have the same concept of boundaries as we do. She may not set out to cheat on you or be a little slvt, but more than likely she will disappoint you just based on her fledgling concept of what is and isn't acceptable for a guy of your age and status in a monogamous relationship.

I just ran into this problem with a 22 year old girl I was casually dating. She texted me one night saying she was dancing on top of a bar with her friend, with her shirt off. I dumped her the next day, and she was floored. She just didnt get it. But you gotta draw the line somewhere.

 

[3countriesPlan]

There is nothing you can do to keep a junior in college from doing her thing. Your ego wants her there on her knees waiting for you and not even noticing other dudes or even having too much fun with her gfs.

College is one big fvkfest and shes going to get in on it before she graduates and settles into some 9-5 job with no summer break. True control is not trying to be in control -- it is then that you are in control of your mind which is really all that matters.

 

[origin138]

Xenon,

This past weekend, I noticed her getting text messages from someone (it was just a number, no contact info) asking to go out for coffee. Now, I have no idea who it was (could have been anyone) but she did go out two nights before with her friends. She then hid the messages or deleted the number, because the conversation wasn't in her phone (yes, I checked).

Why are you checking her text messages? That sort of behavior doesn’t convey security or confidence.

The texting for coffee and then deleting them could be a few things:

1. She's hiding something - red flag
2. She's afraid you'll get upset/jealous/possessive - red flag
3. She has no interest in whoever it was texting her. If it was some beta chump, then why worry? She probably gave her number to keep him orbiting. Women always have a steady stream of orbiting men available to use as emotional tampons, “friends”, and potential backups if their current dig breaks it off. Nothing new here.

Try to keep your investment in this thing only as deep as her investment.

It has been my goal not to get jealous or controlling with her at all. I am definitely improving myself: I have a PhD in Chemistry with good job prospects, am active socially (various sports teams), physically fit (avid SEALFitter), and know that I have options outside this girl.

Knowing you have options, and actually OWNING those options are 2 different things.

How will I see the effects of hypergamy? I know what it means, but how will it manifest itself in her actions?

Well, the texting thing for one. This is a pretty big giveaway that her hamster is in motion, and it looks like your survival instincts are being loyal by telling you something isn't right.

As she's presented with more options, she'll become more aware of her sexual market value. You'll be constantly compared to the men approaching her and likely tested more. If your game is strong, you should be fine. If she starts to lose respect for you because she thinks a better prospect is attainable, you’ll know exactly what I mean by “the effects of hypergamy”. She’ll start making excuses, being distant, flaking, cheating, you name it. She’ll do whatever it takes to get you to break it off. This way she can blame it on you if things fail. It’s what women do.

My immediate thought is that chicks at her age don’t give a f*ck about provisioning, so your Ph.D., while highly commendable, likely doesn’t mean much to her. You’re at a level financially and professionally that would draw in many women looking to settle down. At 21, settling down is likely the last thing on her mind. Your girl could be different and have a strong value system, know what she wants, and stick to it while remaining completely loyal. But that’s a rare find.

Coming from an electrical engineering background, I’ve noticed women in the sciences tend to behave very differently from those in the non-science fields and have very different attitudes toward sex, partying and relationships. They’re a little more reserved and goal-oriented, and usually don’t ride the c*ck carousel to the same extremes as their non-science counterparts. Many of them are foreign as well, and haven’t been corrupted by the girl power garbage proliferating western society.

If your girl is one of these, she may see tremendous status in your education and professional options and this can work in your favor in a big way. I don’t know your girl, so I can’t really attest to this. But I do know that women are universally repulsed by weak, insecure, and controlling men, so don’t be like that or she will bail, guaranteed.

I am prepared for this to end, and if she starts going out all the time, I will definitely tell her my convictions and possibly break up with her.

Nothing wrong with having convictions, but in this case what would sharing them with her accomplish? If you want this to turn into something longer term, then yea you should talk to her. It’s clear you have limits about the partying, so you have to decide if being with a girl who parties excessively is something you want to deal with. On the other hand, if she starts f*cking around, she deserves no explanation. Your icy, quiet, explanation-less withdrawal and eventual disappearance is the best way to handle it.

Watch her behavior when she’s out with you. If something is up, you’ll know it. Women are amazing liars, but they always drop the ball somewhere in the melodrama that gives away their intentions of the moment.

For now, give her the benefit of the doubt and chill out. If you go looking for dirt, you’ll find it whether or not it’s even there. She comes home to you at night, and until that changes you probably have nothing to worry about. If she’s going to get hammered and participate in a gangbang, there isn’t anything you or I can do about it. It is what it is.

As an aside, one of my favorites, and it is highly applicable here:

http://heartiste.wordpress.com/the-sixteen-commandments-of-poon/

 

[EastWind]

Very solid advice so far.

You should read more of Rollo's blog (http://rationalmale.wordpress.com/), especially the SMV bits. You are 28 with a PhD and a social life, from what I hear, you're going to be beating women off with a stick.

To re-vamp my earlier advice: this will end. Shortly. Be the one on the better end and end it. You can't see the reason yet but all of us here can; it's not going to end well if you keep it going. Colossus gave you very solid advice, she's 21 and she is going to enjoy it no matter what. If she wasn't the type to, she wouldn't even be entertaining the idea of going to clubs.

 

[Desdinova]

Women are generally not ready to settle down until they enter their mid-20s or later. I guarantee she will end the relationship in the near future.

 

[Xenon]

Hey Xenon,

The short answer is, like the others mentioned, there really isn't anything you can do to curtail her partying behavior. She may have claimed her partying is a thing of the past, but 21 year olds claim a lot of things. Sorry for the redundancy but she is a newly-minted 21 year old American female. Plus that thing about the text-deleting sounds really shady.

I've always found that in game and relationships, the simplest answer is usually correct. Basically you either need to prepare yourself for some rocky outcomes, or break up with her preemptively. Even if you WERE successful in getting her to lay off the boozing, she would resent you for making her miss out on that part of her life and alienating her from her peers.

This is kind of a case where the age gap is rearing it's ugly head and you are at that proverbial fork in the road. The advantage you have is that you are older, a male, and have more foresight than her so you already know how this will likely pan out. Thus you are in an advantageous position.

Regarding the hypergamy thing, you sound like a guy who is in the upper echelon of success for your age group, and she will be hard-pressed to do "better" than you, although that does not preclude her philandering. Girls her age just do not have the same concept of boundaries as we do. She may not set out to cheat on you or be a little slvt, but more than likely she will disappoint you just based on her fledgling concept of what is and isn't acceptable for a guy of your age and status in a monogamous relationship.

I just ran into this problem with a 22 year old girl I was casually dating. She texted me one night saying she was dancing on top of a bar with her friend, with her shirt off. I dumped her the next day, and she was floored. She just didnt get it. But you gotta draw the line somewhere.

I'm willing to see things through for a little bit longer, but am definitely prepared for this to end.

Thank you for sharing your experience and advice.

Colossus with wise advice.

And the hidden texts is a massive red flag. Cue this to mean that she is getting the male attention and giving out her phone number.

She is in the process of estimating her value in the SMP, and attracting the numbers is what allows her to estimate this to some degree. Often women won't have the full knowledge until they ride some more c0cks.

Her goal is to get the highest value male to keep coming back for sex and eventually a commitment. But to realize that, first she has to sleep with all of the hot guys until one stays (if he stays). Unfortunately, many women pile up the numbers in this process, especially those who are 8 and under.

The text messages are a red flag, I realize that. I'm going to relax a bit and see how things play out. If she wants to leave, she can. If not, hey that's great too. And I would guess, by being with her, that her number is less than 8.

Why are you checking her text messages? That sort of behavior doesn’t convey security or confidence.

The texting for coffee and then deleting them could be a few things:

1. She's hiding something - red flag
2. She's afraid you'll get upset/jealous/possessive - red flag
3. She has no interest in whoever it was texting her. If it was some beta chump, then why worry? She probably gave her number to keep him orbiting. Women always have a steady stream of orbiting men available to use as emotional tampons, “friends”, and potential backups if their current dig breaks it off. Nothing new here.

Try to keep your investment in this thing only as deep as her investment.

Insecurity has been my main hang up with relationships my whole life. I've always been able to attract women, but they leave once they figure out i'm insecure. I realized I had a problem, and found sites like this. I've been working on it for about a year, but it still isn't quite dead yet.

The reason I checked was because I was sitting with her when she got the message about coffee (I could see her phone, as we were sitting in the same chair together). She didn't really pretend to hide it. She left for a couple minutes, and I scanned through it. The conversation was deleted, but my overthinking (I tend to do this alot too. I'm a scientist, and I'm trained to do it) started to creep in and give me bad vibes.

Well, the texting thing for one. This is a pretty big giveaway that her hamster is in motion, and it looks like your survival instincts are being loyal by telling you something isn't right.

As she's presented with more options, she'll become more aware of her sexual market value. You'll be constantly compared to the men approaching her and likely tested more. If your game is strong, you should be fine. If she starts to lose respect for you because she thinks a better prospect is attainable, you’ll know exactly what I mean by “the effects of hypergamy”. She’ll start making excuses, being distant, flaking, cheating, you name it. She’ll do whatever it takes to get you to break it off. This way she can blame it on you if things fail. It’s what women do.

My immediate thought is that chicks at her age don’t give a f*ck about provisioning, so your Ph.D., while highly commendable, likely doesn’t mean much to her. You’re at a level financially and professionally that would draw in many women looking to settle down. At 21, settling down is likely the last thing on her mind. Your girl could be different and have a strong value system, know what she wants, and stick to it while remaining completely loyal. But that’s a rare find.

Coming from an electrical engineering background, I’ve noticed women in the sciences tend to behave very differently from those in the non-science fields and have very different attitudes toward sex, partying and relationships. They’re a little more reserved and goal-oriented, and usually don’t ride the c*ck carousel to the same extremes as their non-science counterparts. Many of them are foreign as well, and haven’t been corrupted by the girl power garbage proliferating western society.

If your girl is one of these, she may see tremendous status in your education and professional options and this can work in your favor in a big way. I don’t know your girl, so I can’t really attest to this. But I do know that women are universally repulsed by weak, insecure, and controlling men, so don’t be like that or she will bail, guaranteed.

I have yet to see any of the signs that you have described, aside from the deleted text. She is a science major, as are all of her college friends, who are not slutty at all (one is a virgin, most others have relationships). I'm going to keep my game as strong as I can, but I realize that this will probably end badly.

Nothing wrong with having convictions, but in this case what would sharing them with her accomplish? If you want this to turn into something longer term, then yea you should talk to her. It’s clear you have limits about the partying, so you have to decide if being with a girl who parties excessively is something you want to deal with. On the other hand, if she starts f*cking around, she deserves no explanation. Your icy, quiet, explanation-less withdrawal and eventual disappearance is the best way to handle it.

Watch her behavior when she’s out with you. If something is up, you’ll know it. Women are amazing liars, but they always drop the ball somewhere in the melodrama that gives away their intentions of the moment.

For now, give her the benefit of the doubt and chill out. If you go looking for dirt, you’ll find it whether or not it’s even there. She comes home to you at night, and until that changes you probably have nothing to worry about. If she’s going to get hammered and participate in a gangbang, there isn’t anything you or I can do about it. It is what it is.

As an aside, one of my favorites, and it is highly applicable here:

http://heartiste.wordpress.com/the-s...ments-of-poon/

If her behavior changes, I will know something is up. She has yet to alter anything at this point, so I'll just chill. Thank you for your advice and time.

Very solid advice so far.

You should read more of Rollo's blog (http://rationalmale.wordpress.com/), especially the SMV bits. You are 28 with a PhD and a social life, from what I hear, you're going to be beating women off with a stick.

To re-vamp my earlier advice: this will end. Shortly. Be the one on the better end and end it. You can't see the reason yet but all of us here can; it's not going to end well if you keep it going. Colossus gave you very solid advice, she's 21 and she is going to enjoy it no matter what. If she wasn't the type to, she wouldn't even be entertaining the idea of going to clubs.

I try to read Rollo every day, but I get busy at work and sometimes miss it. For now, I'm going to relax, enjoy my time with her, and see where it goes. I don't want to make any rash decisions based on evidence that may or may not be true. If she ends it, then fine.

Women are generally not ready to settle down until they enter their mid-20s or later. I guarantee she will end the relationship in the near future.

If she does, she does. I'm fine with it. I can only maintain my part of the relationship.

Thank you all for your advice. I think I needed to get my head straight on this whole thing because my own hamster can get in the way of clear thinking. I'm going to continue to improve myself and watch for any deviations from the norm. If it doesn't work out, oh well.

 

[evan12]

Hey guys,

My girlfriend of 8+ months just turned 21 (i'm 28). She has not been the party type during the time of our relationship (she does have a fake ID and can go out whenever she wants.)

However, it seems that lately she has been wanting to go out a bit more than usual. As in, almost every weekend. She usually goes out with her friends, who I have met and I genuinely think that they like me (I work 1 hour from her). She is a junior in college.

I don't want to look insecure by saying "No you can't go out", but how do you convey to her that excessive partying, in my mind, is unacceptable behavior for someone in a relationship? I don't think she would cheat on me, but I know how women are when they go out and get drunk.

if you only want to have fun with her , then stay cool to and care free .
BUT if you are considering her as LTR material , then you have to act as a man and tell her bars/clubs is mainly for singles, and you cant find it appropriate for a woman in relationship to go there , you will look more strong in her eyes, because she is not stupid and know you will not prevent her from that because you have no other option .
one thing , if she really like you will not gonna go or she will leave you

 

[Xenon]

if you only want to have fun with her , then stay cool to and care free .
BUT if you are considering her as LTR material , then you have to act as a man and tell her bars/clubs is mainly for singles, and you cant find it appropriate for a woman in relationship to go there , you will look more strong in her eyes, because she is not stupid and know you will not prevent her from that because you have no other option .
one thing , if she really like you will not gonna go or she will leave you

Roger that. Thanks

 

[CostaDeSol]

Coming from an electrical engineering background, I’ve noticed women in the sciences tend to behave very differently from those in the non-science fields and have very different attitudes toward sex, partying and relationships. They’re a little more reserved and goal-oriented, and usually don’t ride the c*ck carousel to the same extremes as their non-science counterparts.

I'm not the OP, but can you elaborate?

The only reason why I can see this is because those in the the sciences would be less social, less likely to have a desire to go through a massive party phase.

and you mentioned "goal oriented" so i would guess they are more degree driven then attention driven (attention whorish)

 

[Gro0ver]

if you only want to have fun with her , then stay cool to and care free .
BUT if you are considering her as LTR material , then you have to act as a man and tell her bars/clubs is mainly for singles, and you cant find it appropriate for a woman in relationship to go there , you will look more strong in her eyes, because she is not stupid and know you will not prevent her from that because you have no other option .
one thing , if she really like you will not gonna go or she will leave you

Got to disagree, its completely normal for women and men in relationships to hit the bar/club scene (at 21 as well). It's how she handles it that matters, e.g. does she get completely drunk and not know what she's doing, does she flirt excessively (leading guys on), does she dress/act like a hoe? Is she comfortable about telling you about a night or does she seem secretive?

On the plus side this will help you judge if she has good character or not. The fact that you checked her phone suggests to me that you don't find her trustworthy?

Like Danger said keep improving yourself, if she cheats or acts like a hoe then next her and find another

 

[Xenon]

Got to disagree, its completely normal for women and men in relationships to hit the bar/club scene (at 21 as well). It's how she handles it that matters, e.g. does she get completely drunk and not know what she's doing, does she flirt excessively (leading guys on), does she dress/act like a hoe? Is she comfortable about telling you about a night or does she seem secretive?

On the plus side this will help you judge if she has good character or not. The fact that you checked her phone suggests to me that you don't find her trustworthy?

Like Danger said keep improving yourself, if she cheats or acts like a hoe then next her and find another

She a conservative dresser and doesn't come off as a wh0re. She does have a very "bubbly" personality, which many could interpret as flirting. And yes, she will tell me about her night if I ask, but I usually don't.

I don't know if she is trustworthy or not, but the fact that she got a text right in front of me from and unknown number asking for a get-together for coffee rang some alarm bells. I saw her this weekend, and she's definitely into me, that is for sure.

I try to improve myself everyday and follow my passions. Getting a "real" job in the next month or so will help that.

 

[origin138]

I saw her this weekend, and she's definitely into me, that is for sure.

That's great to hear Xenon. Keep pushing forward in making yourself a man of value. Set the bar incredibly high and she'll be hard pressed to choose otherwise.

 

[Sandow]

She's starting to lose interest which explains why she wants to go out partying with friends more. She's 21, this is completely normal behavior for her. You can't expect her to want to settle down at 21. You guys have been dating for 8 months, this is around the time for her to get bored and seek something new.

I've has this happen to me multiple times. It starts slow, her wanting to go out more with her friends, less interest, She starts acting cold, starts arguments, more complaining. When I look back and think if there was anything I could do.. I don't think so. It was inevitable that she would break it off because I was dating a super hot ch1ck in her early 20's, and as much as I was alpha, there was nothing I can do. It sucked but I had to end it (though in her mind she probably ended it months before). Turns out at the end of our relationship she was fvking someone else. Well, there you go.