Girlfriend is losing interest - how should I proceed?

[AdamJ]

Had a big fight with the girlfriend a few days ago.

It was my fault but it was a kind of continuation of a disagreement we had had previously.

I had made plans with a few mates on the Friday before Valentine's day to go for drinks. So I told her she should do something similar and then we'd meet after. She took that to mean go clubbing with her friends. I felt that was a bit disrespectful - clubbing on V day weekend with a bunch of single girls. We had a mini break up but then I let it slide the morning after.

Then we get into another argument on Monday. I don't hear from her all day. The next day I converse with her and she basically tells me she assumes we're broken up and that she doesn't want to be with me anymore because I don't treat her well. I "convince" her to stay together, but I get this weird feeling in my stomach, because a part of me knows that I'm losing the frame here.

Same thing happens on Wednesday - she gets angry over a non issue (I had planned to go for drinks with a girl from work since my gf had "dumped" me) and says we can't be together. I convince her again and we patch things up.

Anyway I can sense an obvious pattern and know the writing is on the wall but honestly have too much other stressful stuff going on in my life to be able to cope with a straight break up right now. How should I proceed?

 

[LMFAO]

You are her fvcking b1tch in the relationship. Convincing her she should be with you? She should be convincing you, you didn't do anything to her. She will continue to do that and the more you convince her the less respect she will have for you and she will lose her "feelings" as she wants a man not a pvssy whipped b1tch. Wait for her to start another argument for no good reason, don't do anything this time just smile and say "if that's what you want, did you want to talk about something else or was that it?". Show as little fvck as possible. Following that go no contact and let her run back to you with her tail between her legs within a couple of weeks and her feelings back on.

 

[asa_don]

proceed by moving on, not acting like a pvssy taking abuse from her, not pleading for her to stay with you, she already broke up with you straight up.

We had a mini break up but then I let it slide the morning after.

mini break up? it's over man, she broke up with you, deal with the reality here,

never let things slide with women, they will use it against you.

Then we get into another argument on Monday. I don't hear from her all day. The next day I converse with her and she basically tells me she assumes we're broken up and that she doesn't want to be with me anymore because I don't treat her well.

I "convince" her to stay together, but I get this weird feeling in my stomach, because a part of me knows that I'm losing the frame here.

lol, she is telling you she doesn't want you, why are you trying to convince her when you treat her like crap?

never try to convince women of anything, convincing comes from weakness meaning you lost the frame.

Same thing happens on Wednesday - she gets angry over a non issue (I had planned to go for drinks with a girl from work since my gf had "dumped" me) and says we can't be together. I convince her again and we patch things up.

you sure love drama don't you? it's over, move on, convincing isn't going to help man.

Anyway I can sense an obvious pattern and know the writing is on the wall but honestly have too much other stressful stuff going on in my life to be able to cope with a straight break up right now. How should I proceed?

the writing has been on the wall for days, it's over, she already broke up with you in her mind, why can't you see it?

why do you want her drama to add to your stress? just ignore her and move on.

damn, how hard is to dump these women when you can see it's over before all this sh!t starts?

i don't understand why all you guys put up with the disrespect and bullsh!t from these chicks, all that fighting and crap is stupid, the relationship is done, she already told you it was, quit being an idiot hoping for a turn around, it ain't gonna happen

 

[JohnyTheArrow]

Bargain is biggest mistake of beta.Its logic but women are powered by emotions, and amotions says if you bargain then your value is lower.Women hate 'loosers' in anyway.Men always want to 'fix' or repair thats our nature but with women you must proceed otherwise - take or leave it.

You think when you bargain you show good will no you dont, you show submission.You can bargain only with a man.Women use drama to control and expect you to bargain.Never folow their plan...because even if you bargain she will leave you later anyway after you loose your dignity and self respect.

 

[LMFAO]

i don't understand why all you guys put up with the disrespect and bullsh!t from these chicks, all that fighting and crap is stupid, the relationship is done, she already told you it was, quit being an idiot hoping for a turn around, it ain't gonna happen

It's pure scarcity mindset. Boo hoo if this girl leaves me I'll have no one else, who can I have sex with? This is why it's always best to have a few girls on the side unless it's a properly serious relationship of several years. In any case you (the OP) should be internalising game and not give a flying fvck what girls are telling you. She wants to leave you? She can leave. Value yourself as no one else will value you for you.

 

[El Payaso]

OP is this way because he believes she is the one and only girl he can get. He is scared that he will not be able to find any other girl. At worst, he has gotten lazy and complacent and doesn't want to put himself out there to start hunting for girls again which is why he's trying to "fix" things or make it work.

All you need to tell this b!tch when she gets p!ssy is, "Hey, I understand what you're feeling and why you're feeling this way but I planned my day already. If you want to break up about it. Fine. I understand. Enjoy your day."

Go out. Have fun and don't pick up her calls or text her.

Let that hamster spin itself to death.

 

[Dhoulmagus]

Had a big fight with the girlfriend a few days ago.

It was my fault but it was a kind of continuation of a disagreement we had had previously.

I had made plans with a few mates on the Friday before Valentine's day to go for drinks. So I told her she should do something similar and then we'd meet after. She took that to mean go clubbing with her friends. I felt that was a bit disrespectful - clubbing on V day weekend with a bunch of single girls. We had a mini break up but then I let it slide the morning after.

Then we get into another argument on Monday. I don't hear from her all day. The next day I converse with her and she basically tells me she assumes we're broken up and that she doesn't want to be with me anymore because I don't treat her well. I "convince" her to stay together, but I get this weird feeling in my stomach, because a part of me knows that I'm losing the frame here.

Same thing happens on Wednesday - she gets angry over a non issue (I had planned to go for drinks with a girl from work since my gf had "dumped" me) and says we can't be together. I convince her again and we patch things up.

Anyway I can sense an obvious pattern and know the writing is on the wall but honestly have too much other stressful stuff going on in my life to be able to cope with a straight break up right now. How should I proceed?

lol you are dumb

 

[Alvafe]

when you guys will learn? thrre is no such thing like "let's take a break" "mini break up" "need time to think over" all that consider consider it a end of the relationship and move on, also like I meantioned before after I end it its never again, she had her chance and blew it so its time for a new woman.

op just pull it of, there nothing there for you go out with that new girl and ignore the old one

 

[AdamJ]

She is now going out again this Saturday!

She weakly tried to invite me, only because I asked her what she was doing on Saturday night - it's an all girls night out so she knows I wouldn't be interested. Oh and one gay guy.

I say it'll be a bit weird if it's just me with a bunch of girls and some gay dude.

She flips it and says "if you're against gays then I don't want you there anyway. It was just an offer. Nobody says you have to come"

She's gone out three times in the past week and a half.

I'm done. No return on investment here. i feel like I wasted so much time.

I won't dump her because she hasn't done anything explicity wrong but if she tries to break up again i'll just calmly accept it.

I've also made a tinder account and I'm going to be going out with the boys a lot more now. In my mind I'm basically single and she is just a plate unless she changes her behaviour drastically. Fvck it.

 

[AdamJ]

OP is this way because he believes she is the one and only girl he can get.

This isn't true. I have a history of success with women but honestly even if you're good looking you still have to be social and get out there, which honestly does get a bit tiring.

At worst, he has gotten lazy and complacent and doesn't want to put himself out there to start hunting for girls again which is why he's trying to "fix" things or make it work.

Yeah, probably this. When you've been in a relationship for as long as I have it's easy to get comfortable. For example I rarely go clubbing, play the guitar at open mic nights or do a lot of the other hobbies I did as a single guy. I definitely need to get back into these things.

 

[Dhoulmagus]

She is now going out again this Saturday!

She weakly tried to invite me, only because I asked her what she was doing on Saturday night - it's an all girls night out so she knows I wouldn't be interested. Oh and one gay guy.

I say it'll be a bit weird if it's just me with a bunch of girls and some gay dude.

She flips it and says "if you're against gays then I don't want you there anyway. It was just an offer. Nobody says you have to come"

She's gone out three times in the past week and a half.

I'm done. No return on investment here. i feel like I wasted so much time.

I won't dump her because she hasn't done anything explicity wrong but if she tries to break up again i'll just calmly accept it.

I've also made a tinder account and I'm going to be going out with the boys a lot more now. In my mind I'm basically single and she is just a plate unless she changes her behaviour drastically. Fvck it.

If you don't like her clubbing than suck it up and go out with her to the clubs or just dump her a$$. You are not insecure at all. If you do not trust her going to these types of places than you should end it. Do not let anybody tell you that you are being beta or some control freak because you know your gf better than them. Honestly, I would dump her because all it takes is one weekend night where you can't go out, she's drunk as hell grinding on some tall guy and she cheats on you. Girls that are comfortable going to clubs without their bfs are not relationship material at all. I had a gf where she liked going to this club which had the most black guys. Coincidentally, her and her friends liked black guys lol. I went with her every time until her ***** ass friend started ****** about being a third wheel because she preferred getting booty called at 5am lol. I shouldn't even have to explain on how I dumped her lol, but expected/10.

 

[El Payaso]

She is now going out again this Saturday!

She weakly tried to invite me, only because I asked her what she was doing on Saturday night - it's an all girls night out so she knows I wouldn't be interested. Oh and one gay guy.

I say it'll be a bit weird if it's just me with a bunch of girls and some gay dude.

She flips it and says "if you're against gays then I don't want you there anyway. It was just an offer. Nobody says you have to come"

She's gone out three times in the past week and a half.

I'm done. No return on investment here. i feel like I wasted so much time.

I won't dump her because she hasn't done anything explicity wrong but if she tries to break up again i'll just calmly accept it.

I've also made a tinder account and I'm going to be going out with the boys a lot more now. In my mind I'm basically single and she is just a plate unless she changes her behaviour drastically. Fvck it.

She's going out because she is HUNTING FOR NEW MEAT.

If you had unlimited meat at home, would you go out hunting? Of course not. You would stay at home and enjoy the meat.

Since she's going out to enjoy herself. You should do the same. If she calls and asks where you are. Just casually tell her you're out with some friends. Don't explain beyond that.

You have to be cold. Even if she tries to start sucking up to you again, don't let her in easy.

 

[Between_The_Lines]

Watch this scene closely. Think about his dignity as you watch it..

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=5icmmsq2dZY

 

[SmooveMooves]

Move on Fam. Nothing good will come out of that relationship.

 

[Suspens]

Yes, do your mourning and move on.

 

[Meisterman]

This is terrible bro. Your 'convincing' is doing nothing other than reinforcing her behavior in treating you like her bi*ch. If she wants to break up, you agree and amplify and go ghost. If she comes back you can decide what to do from there. It's the only way you can maintain frame and still have a shot with her. If she doesn't come back, then she wasn't worth convincing anyway, so you just saved yourself time and effort.