Girlfriend is hanging out with former personal trainer (group setting)

[Fin9]

Nah its cool man. In my experience most personal trainers have wives/gfs anyway and dont bother with clients or gym buddies.

Just keep your eyes open though.

I know a girl who ****ed her trainer and yeah, she's in a relationship. Of course it's a red flag.

 

[Yewki]

I mean all you can do is very calmly let her know that you don't like her seeing the trainer. When she responds with justifications, say you understand but you don't know his true intentions and are not comfortable with it. Tell her what you want and don't argue. If she tries to argue, end the discussion and tell her she can do what she wants you're not going to tell her what to do. The key is not be defensive when you have this discussion. You should be very casual and nonchalant.

If she still sees the trainer, then she doesn't respect you. Pull back your attention from her and pursue other girls. She may change, or you may find someone who does respect you.

 

[MillionBillionaire]

I think it is grounds for suspicion on it's own but the trick is recognizing other anomalies in her behavior such as lack of eye contact.. sh1t testing .. lowered interest and other weird behavior that makes your senses go alert.

IF HE IS HITTING ON HER SHE KNOWS THIS

They say to trust in your gut.. I think you already told us your answer.

 

[TarantulaHawk]

Did she invite you?

^^^This.^^^ As O.P. answered she didn't invite her BF. Red Flag. I wonder if OP has ever met her personal trainer to begin with. Anyone I know who's in a committed relationship winds up at least introducing their S.O. to a person they "text" with and hang out with, even if it is or was a business relationship. Not that that means that it prevents cheating but never meeting that person especially a personal fitness coach isn't a good sign especially if they couples been dating a while.

My gf is pretty in to the gym and she got herself a personal trainer about a year ago.

They ended their business relationship a few months ago but he still texts her random workouts or diet plans and gives her the occasional free session since they attend the same gym so they're on good terms.

This IMO seems like a "cover" as in just 'innocent' diet plans and random workout plans, free sessions, as well as them being on good terms is a way to "keep in contact" and establish their own "connection" which may end up not being so "innocent".

Again. Has she ever introduced you to this fitness coach? If never that's a red flag.

He invited her to a power lifting event that he is competing in. Apparently it will be her and a few other people from the gym attending but my spidey senses were tingling.

Maybe it's just me but I think this is a bit inappropriate.

Again have you ever been introduced to him by her AND was this invitation sent to the entire group as a group or was it sent specifically to her..... with the group already going/ having been invited? Meaning the group could already have been going and HE invited HER specifically/personally. If so another red flag and the "group" is a real cover.

It's also seems to be a bit hypocritical on her part since she was quite upset about me attending salsa classes without her.

Do I have a legitimate concern or am I just being lame?

If a chick is jealous of your salsa classes and you've never given her a reason to be jealous that's a sign of a person likely to cheat unless you "walk on eggshells" for them which they'll eventually cheat regardless.

It could be a sign of guilt if you've never given her a reason to believe you are or would cheat on her.

If so. I'd say nothing and act normal. Let her slowly hang herself. If you keep noticing more red flags or odd behavior "going out more with friends" without you (more than normal for in your relationship) etc. I'd quietly be planning my exit and literally drop the chick out of nowhere never to contact her again. But that's me.

The reason you never give them a heads up just like the Feds, KGB, Cops, hitmen etc. never let on they're on to someone is because you don't want to give them any reason to try to cover their tracks. You play "dumb" while they hang themselves and you take off without a trace. REGARDLESS if you hear she wound up getting into a relationship with her trainer, getting engaged to him married etc.

That's not your problem anymore.

You know your relationship the best. You must be honest with yourself and trust your gut instincts and not let your thoughts or second guessing cloud your judgement.

No she didn't come to think of it.

I called her out on that and she said she wants to have friends outside of the relationship.

After reading this? Her sticking up for her "ex personal trainer needing friends outside of 'the' relationship" not YOUR relationship but "the" relationship?? LMAO Dude. C'mon now. I'd know exactly where the "relationship" stands and slowly be planning my exit WITH OR WITHOUT "needing" a chick to replace her. I'd literally just disappear and go ghost. You don't want to do that because you FEAR your gut instincts are CORRECT and she'll either wind up sleeping with the dude if she hasn't already or they'll end up in a relationship with "you having given her the excuse to because you dumped her".

Fvck that dude. She just told you in a round about way she places her "friendship outside of 'the' relationship" over you and BOTH your relationship. I'd be OUT before you hang on like a fool and she either dumps you for him or cuckolds you with this dude behind your back yet right in front of your face.

 

[In2theGame]

Unfortunately...Get ready, This one's headed for the rocks below. A girl i used to date had a female friend who had a personal trainer and it turns out she was fvcking him behind her fiance's back. Ive also heard a lot of stories around this subject, Just stay on high alert.

 

[Peña]

Dump her before she cheats.

 

[asa_don]

True. Massive red flag.

But don't know if it's worthy of a straight up dump without more substantial evidence.

bullsh!t, you are afraid to end things with her, you are afraid of being alone.

i told you to dump her before, she already broke up with you, if you aren't going to end things quit complaining about her, she doesn't care about you.

 

[SmooveMooves]

Withdraw your attention, become cold & distant.

Prepare to dump and ready up some options for if it gets ugly.

Watch her behavior, because right now you honestly don't really have enough to warrant a dump IMO.

Keep an eye out, if she starts trying to see the dude more frequently, then it's dump time.

 

[AdamJ]

Had a conversation with the missus yesterday.

She said she understands my POV although initially didn't see it like that.

She gets that it looks like he could be trying to make moves on her as he is basically inviting her to an event where he can DHV (he powerlifts 215kg) and even though it's a mixed group of people it won't necessarily stay that way by the end of the night.


She didn't want me to doubt her commitment so she gave away her ticket before I even spoke to her yesterday. She said she actually liked that I told her.

She compared it to me going salsa without her - sensual dancing with hot chicks who don't know I have a girlfriend - and on that basis she didn't feel bad about giving her ticket away since salsa upset her quite a bit.

Everything is good. She seems committed to making it work. Glad I didn't take some of the advice here. SS can be damaging to your relationship sometimes. Phew.

 

[BrainDamage92]

Lol she acts like shes retarded. Women know all too well when someone is trying to **** them but dont admit it even to themselves so they can enjoy the attention shower and a diff kind of shower in the end.

Its just never believe what a woman tells you, esp on matters like these, take it like this - most people cheat - **** - everyone cheats, point is, smart women make it so its not THAT obvious, but you would be amazed at how little some women care about other people in general and their boyfriend included and what stupid BS they pull only because they never grew up and still need a carrot and a stick but the stick is not present since you dont want to hit women. Of course many women are nothing like that.

You know your GF best, but something tells me if she didnt want male attention on the side and respected you, she would get a female trainer. Consider, if you was her, wouldnt you (let alone her) feel bad about having this hot personal trainer? You wouldnt do that would you? Out of respect to your comittment.

So treat everyone accordingly. Treat both sexes as equals unless there is love couse love is the area where you should dominate, make it a game, a distraction from the formal world and play it well.

But always put yourself in the other's shoes when you have doubts about some moral issue and ask yourself: "Would I do that?", I speak from my own mistakes and good and bad experience and nothing more...

I wouldnt let **** like that slip... not anymore...

(Btw why do you go to salsa and she is hitting the gym? Lol you are one interesting couple)

 

[the_stig]

Twice I've overheard personal trainers at my gym. First time they made a bet along the lines of who could get more numbers that week. Second time another was bragging that he was tapping one of his clients. It's no secret they flirt with the women. I'm on the treadmill a few hours per week and watch it with my own eyes. Any regular in the gym scene knows what's up.

Absolutely it's a red flag. I wouldn't jump to the SS worst case scenario that she's fvcking him but you're right to be concerned. Little doubt he has an agenda with her, or would if given the chance. It's also very likely she reciprocates those feelings.

You sure it's really a "group setting" and she didn't just make that up?? Women always twist the truth to draw suspicion away.

I wouldn't turn the situation into a huge drama crises yet but watch her behavior carefully and go with your gut.

 

[zekko]

She compared it to me going salsa without her - sensual dancing with hot chicks who don't know I have a girlfriend - and on that basis she didn't feel bad about giving her ticket away since salsa upset her quite a bit.

Is it possible she did this to retaliate for you going to salsa without her?

 

[El Payaso]

This guy is a troll.

 

[3agle 3yes]

This forum can be hilarious sometimes...

...Maybe it's just me but I think this is a bit inappropriate.

It's also seems to be a bit hypocritical on her part since she was quite upset about me attending salsa classes without her.

Do I have a legitimate concern or am I just being lame?

Correct me if I'm wrong but doesn't salsa usually take TWO people to dance?

How many people does it take to power lift? Exactly, one.

Having suspicions that a woman is cheating on you without any obvious signs is simply, you admitting to yourself sub-consciously that you think you're too pvssified to hold a relationship with a woman such as your gf.

 

[AdamJ]

i told you to dump her before, she already broke up with you, if you aren't going to end things quit complaining about her, she doesn't care about you.

I read sh*t like this and realise you guys don't have a clue. My gf has moved mountains to be with me.

Most people on this site are losers who want everyone else to be as miserable as they are.

I only bother posting here because I know I'm getting the worst case scenario opinion.

Seeing the responses on this forum vs the reality of the situation only strengthens my resolve to get the hell off this site before I end up like everyone else here.

marry her and have kids with her http://www.sosuave.net/forum/showthread.php?t=224431

Maybe I will. Hmmm. I don't know why I'm listening to a guy who's been cheated on by every gf he's been with.

Peeeace!

 

[asa_don]

I read sh*t like this and realise you guys don't have a clue. My gf has moved mountains to be with me.

Most people on this site are losers who want everyone else to be as miserable as they are.

:crackup:

moved mountains to be with you my ass, you're the one with a girl who doesn't want you, you just said this sh!t in your last thread that she dumped you.

Had a big fight with the girlfriend a few days ago.

I felt that was a bit disrespectful - clubbing on V day weekend with a bunch of single girls. We had a mini break up but then I let it slide the morning after

Then we get into another argument on Monday. I don't hear from her all day. The next day I converse with her and she basically tells me she assumes we're broken up and that she doesn't want to be with me anymore because I don't treat her well. I "convince" her to stay together, but I get this weird feeling in my stomach, because a part of me knows that I'm losing the frame here.

Same thing happens on Wednesday - she gets angry over a non issue (I had planned to go for drinks with a girl from work since my gf had "dumped" me) and says we can't be together. I convince her again and we patch things up.

clubbing on v day weekend without you, breaking up with you, fighting, convincing her to stay like a beta, yeah she's moving mountains to be with you dumb ass :crackup:.

This guy is a troll.

yes he is, probably naughty ninja, he says the same sh!t.

 

[PlayerSupremo]

Nah its cool man. In my experience most personal trainers have wives/gfs anyway and dont bother with clients or gym buddies.

Just keep your eyes open though.

Ahahahahahahaha...oh god.

I've been a personal trainer for 28 years now. I've ****ed a lot of my clients back in the old days when I was younger.

I even had girlfriends during those periods.

I have also read articles on married and dating trainers who have had numerous affairs with their clients. It was a real problem when the business or market really became popular.

Women fall for us trainers.

They have done psychological studies on why and all that egg head shyt.

It just is.

When a female has a males undivided attention and he is giving her orders and her body is awake and FEEling THINGS such as pain it creates some tension within her.

I've had women have sexual nightmares about me.

I had one client buy me a whip for my birthday and I didn't know she had wanted me to use it on her.

No wonder that dumb movie shades of grey is selling out all over.

A trainer has a position of power and dominance over women during training and they love it.

 

[TarantulaHawk]

Had a conversation with the missus yesterday.

She said she understands my POV although initially didn't see it like that.

She gets that it looks like he could be trying to make moves on her as he is basically inviting her to an event where he can DHV (he powerlifts 215kg) and even though it's a mixed group of people it won't necessarily stay that way by the end of the night.


She didn't want me to doubt her commitment so she gave away her ticket before I even spoke to her yesterday. She said she actually liked that I told her.

She compared it to me going salsa without her - sensual dancing with hot chicks who don't know I have a girlfriend - and on that basis she didn't feel bad about giving her ticket away since salsa upset her quite a bit.

Everything is good. She seems committed to making it work. Glad I didn't take some of the advice here. SS can be damaging to your relationship sometimes. Phew.

Dude any person possessing an ounce of common sense would have given anyone in your situation the same advice you've gotten in this thread regardless if it was a personal trainer or not.

S.O. keeps in regular contact with ex-(x) as "friends".

S.O. gets invited to go out with a "group" to go see that person specifically.

S.O. doesn't invite their boyfriend/girlfriend.

S.O. gets defensive when questioned and wants "friends" outside of not your but "the" relationship.

etc.

Nah. Nothing wrong with that. Just "overreacting bad advice".