Girlfriend goes from giving terrible-head to porno-head overnight... What's her deal?

[CuriousGirl]

so niave. I bet you've never been hustled in pool either. They don't seem like great players at first...but then when it's time to get your money, the goddamn pool pro jumps out of nowhere and rapes your pockets. LOL.

Here is what you don't do fellas. Never tell another man to ignore his gut feeling. This guy posted here because his spidey senses were tingling. Something seemed off and he knew it on some subconscious level. Now even if it's something simple as her not wanting to appear to be a complete hor or nefarious as trying to cover up cheating and getting married, none of us have the right to tell this guy not to examine his gut feeling all the way through. But I see no innoncent reason a girl would magically learn how to swallow pole professionally over night. I just don't believe there is anything innocent in that. There is always an angle.

Get some female friends...some real female friends, present a non judgmental attitude....discuss the game with this woman and come from a place of totally understanding why women do what they do, let her have no fear of your judgement. Then sit back and LISTEN to what they say...they will blow your mind and you will learn a whole lot. I have one female friend who is a straight up slut. I don't judge. But...she told me how she parceled out the sex to her now current husband, exponentially ratcheting up the kinky factor as he fell in love and finally letting him do everything he wanted after they got married. She used the carrot and the stick. Of course now...the new is wearing off and she told me how she was out making out with some 22 year old guy in a bar while her husband was at home taking care of her baby from some other deadbeat. She landed her a bill payer. And he adopted her child so she has child support for life now that the deadbeat couldn't give her. But he doesn't get her gina tingling so she's gotta go get that somewhere else.

These women are not dumb. They do know what they are doing. Stop underestimating women. That's half of you guys problems. You keep thinking they are child like creatures and they are out maneuvering the hell outta you guys. Manipulation is their stock and trade. This guy's gut tells him its some manipulation going on....he's gotta trust that, because honestly...you can never really trust her to be honest about her motives. She can't show her hand and still get what she wants. That's abdicating power. Nobody does that. That's real life fellas. Good luck.

What do you mean by hustled in pool?

And why isn't there anything innocent in that?Some people just want to know how to be good at head, guys and girls alike. Some people have alterior motives but can you honestly say you know all women do? That all men do? No! Alot of people wanna be good in bed!
Although I do agree with you that his instinct is saying something's up so he should delve a little deeper into that but don't automatically assume she's up to no good when you don't know her. And I'm not going to automatically assume it's all innocent as I don't know her either.
You're saying women are manipulative but that's not the universal case. The Universal case is that some people, men and women, are manipulative, but not everyone is and certainly not a whole gender or a whole age bracket or a whole race.

 

[wait_out]

What you don't understand is all the misogynistic chatter here actually serves a functional purpose. By far, most guys are not that hard or realistic when it comes to women... they are suckers. Most guys who find this board are realizing they've made mistakes or have misconceptions that take a long time to iron out. This might seem anti-woman but it's all exaggerated, because guys here are in the process of finding a heathy balance. Half the point of this board is to remind guys not to trust girls with their love any more than they'd trust a guy with their car.

What I'm saying is it's human nature to trust people, that causes problems because we have a soft spot for women. You're not doing anyone a favor by encouraging that... if you want to see what I mean, you could do an éxpose on all the worst, most devious things you see women doing.

1) You're giving guys the knowledge that might help them protect themselves.
2) You're showing them that girls are capable of looking out for them as individuals, even if its not in the interest of your own gender.

Would guys hate you? Nah. Girls might. Is that misogynistic? I don't know. The word just gets in the way of useful discussion. I find guys more realistically hate a standard set of female behaviour, which may or may not be justified. Not many guys hate a cute girl who's interested in what they have to say, if that's actually what she's interested in.

 

[Warrior74]

What do you mean by hustled in pool?

And why isn't there anything innocent in that?Some people just want to know how to be good at head, guys and girls alike. Some people have alterior motives but can you honestly say you know all women do? That all men do? No! Alot of people wanna be good in bed!
Although I do agree with you that his instinct is saying something's up so he should delve a little deeper into that but don't automatically assume she's up to no good when you don't know her. And I'm not going to automatically assume it's all innocent as I don't know her either.
You're saying women are manipulative but that's not the universal case. The Universal case is that some people, men and women, are manipulative, but not everyone is and certainly not a whole gender or a whole age bracket or a whole race.

I guess you've never been hustled in a pool game.

So what should I automatically assume when this guy is telling me that something isn't right? I'm going off the facts listed. Of course not everyone fits into one bracket, don't be obtuse. But when your gut is tingling you trust it, it's better to be proved wrong and as a pessimist than proved wrong as an optimist.

Wait out don't go throwing around the M word when you know its not true. Not a good look. in fact, looks like some whiteknighting if you know what I mean. And I think you do.

 

[P_Dawg_Jalapeno]

Would guys hate you? Nah. Girls might. Is that misogynistic? I don't know. The word just gets in the way of useful discussion. I find guys more realistically hate a standard set of female behaviour, which may or may not be justified. Not many guys hate a cute girl who's interested in what they have to say, if that's actually what she's interested in.

Words of wisdom there....

Anyway, after some more sleuthing (if you want to call it that) I found that this girl had spent a bit of time as an internet/webcam minx before we started getting serious.

So, I'm over her house the other day and she says to me "I need you to fix my laptop baby. I tried installing Office 2007 and now the thing won't even boot..." I then very casually say, "Hmmm... If I fix it, you have to promise that for every nerd online you cyber-suck I get to blast you in the ass." She shot me a glare that screemed "pig." Anyway, when we sat down with her laptop for me to fix, she started elaborating a bit on her internet history... which is hilarious because one of the things that she proudly advertised about herself was that she didn't have a MySpace or a FaceBook account (neither do I) and that she didn't like all the stupid drama they invited. She was telling the truth but she did have an account (which I had no clue about until recently) on a lesser known social networking site. Anyway, she kinda got into the whole camgirl end of the equation...

Long story short, in this girl's recieved files folder was loaded with pictures (among other things) of dudes blowing kisses at their webcams, them pitching tents, penis pictures, and all sorts of goofy stuff. It didn't really bother me that much though. None of it was recent (I checked a few 'File Created' dates). They were all nerds, guys in the army, 40 year old virgins, and guys that weren't getting any any time soon. She seemed kinda embarrassed when she was admitting and explaining all of this to me, and I ended up feeling kinda bad in a way.

Women are nuts.

 

[CuriousGirl]

What you don't understand is all the misogynistic chatter here actually serves a functional purpose. By far, most guys are not that hard or realistic when it comes to women... they are suckers. Most guys who find this board are realizing they've made mistakes or have misconceptions that take a long time to iron out. This might seem anti-woman but it's all exaggerated, because guys here are in the process of finding a heathy balance. Half the point of this board is to remind guys not to trust girls with their love any more than they'd trust a guy with their car.

What I'm saying is it's human nature to trust people, that causes problems because we have a soft spot for women. You're not doing anyone a favor by encouraging that... if you want to see what I mean, you could do an éxpose on all the worst, most devious things you see women doing.

1) You're giving guys the knowledge that might help them protect themselves.
2) You're showing them that girls are capable of looking out for them as individuals, even if its not in the interest of your own gender.

Would guys hate you? Nah. Girls might. Is that misogynistic? I don't know. The word just gets in the way of useful discussion. I find guys more realistically hate a standard set of female behaviour, which may or may not be justified. Not many guys hate a cute girl who's interested in what they have to say, if that's actually what she's interested in.

But then how do you ensure they get the right balance? And what about the trustworthy men and women that suffer for it? I think perhaps if someone is not trusted then they resent that and are more likely to go behind your back.
I'd be interested to have a look into something like you mentioned, I could make a thread asking about it in another forum but I would open it to both guys and girls and maybe ask them why.

The thing is though, what I find most interesting about this site, is that from my experience and a lot of the girls I know....it seems to be the opposite. That it's the guys messing the girls around, that it's the girls that should be wary about which guy to trust when the guys don't really seem to care...and the girls end up screwed over. Is this then just a breakdown in communication between the two genders? Or is sex such a massive part of our lives that it drastically affects our relationships and how we can relate to each other?

 

[CuriousGirl]

I guess you've never been hustled in a pool game.

So what should I automatically assume when this guy is telling me that something isn't right? I'm going off the facts listed. Of course not everyone fits into one bracket, don't be obtuse. But when your gut is tingling you trust it, it's better to be proved wrong and as a pessimist than proved wrong as an optimist.

Wait out don't go throwing around the M word when you know its not true. Not a good look. in fact, looks like some whiteknighting if you know what I mean. And I think you do.

Ha, oh right, I thought it might've been more slang. I'm actually pretty **** at pool so nobody would hustle me as they know there's no chance I'd take a bet.

I agree you should listen to your gut instinct but the thing is, you don't know how sound other people's gut instincts are. Our own gut instincts will be biased some way or another...so you still need to keep an open mind. Everybody interprets things differently, whether it's a piece of art or someone's actions..so even being proved wrong it sometimes takes much longer to see it.

In his defence I think he was speaking generally about the forum, there are some misogynistic posts you can't deny, though the forum and the users aren't inherently misogynistic. (Well, some might be, I don't know.) And do you really think he'd go there, here?

 

[Warrior74]

I agree you should listen to your gut instinct but the thing is, you don't know how sound other people's gut instincts are. Our own gut instincts will be biased some way or another...so you still need to keep an open mind. Everybody interprets things differently, whether it's a piece of art or someone's actions..so even being proved wrong it sometimes takes much longer to see it.

Um....yah. Did you see the last thing he posted? He just found out she was a camwhor. Guess what? That's probably the tip of the iceberg. His gut was right.

In his defence I think he was speaking generally about the forum, there are some misogynistic posts you can't deny, though the forum and the users aren't inherently misogynistic. (Well, some might be, I don't know.) And do you really think he'd go there, here?

I certainly can deny it. If women can deny even knowing what the word Misandry means, or that it even exists, I very well can. I can say there are men who are just more passionate about stating the truth. I could totally do that. As a woman once told me, don't tell me what I can and can't do! haha

You'd be surprised at some of the whiteknighting and captain save a ho that comes out when some guys see the word "Girl" in a screen name.

 

[CuriousGirl]

Um....yah. Did you see the last thing he posted? He just found out she was a camwhor. Guess what? That's probably the tip of the iceberg. His gut was right.



I certainly can deny it. If women can deny even knowing what the word Misandry means, or that it even exists, I very well can. I can say there are men who are just more passionate about stating the truth. I could totally do that. As a woman once told me, don't tell me what I can and can't do! haha

You'd be surprised at some of the whiteknighting and captain save a ho that comes out when some guys see the word "Girl" in a screen name.

See you're assuming again! Maybe that's just all it was and it's not an iceberg at all. In her past she's cam*****d with guys when she's been horny and maybe that's all it was. It's kind of like a cross between just watching porn and having an actual ONS, it's obviously more personal than porn (as you wouldn't do it in a relationship) but without actually being a slut. Otherwise, if she didn't care about that, surely she would have been out having sex instead of cybering?

Hahaha incidently I just googled it to remind myself.
Stating the truth!? You surely mean stating their opinions...

Maybe but surely not in this forum when they know everyone is watching (and probably eager to criticise or give tips.. )

 

[Warrior74]

See you're assuming again! Maybe that's just all it was and it's not an iceberg at all. In her past she's cam*****d with guys when she's been horny and maybe that's all it was. It's kind of like a cross between just watching porn and having an actual ONS, it's obviously more personal than porn (as you wouldn't do it in a relationship) but without actually being a slut. Otherwise, if she didn't care about that, surely she would have been out having sex instead of cybering?

Forever the female apologist eh? Keep fvcking that chicken bro! (google that phrase, hilarious). The benefit of the doubt means that she keeps getting the cawk, but you make sure you still wear a rubber. Everything else is suspect until proven otherwise. This guy never had any proof she was worthwhile, but now he's getting proof that she's not. All he had was a facade she threw up. He doesn't know her at all, now he's starting to get to really know her. It's time for him to delve deeper and see if she is worthy.

Oh my god. I just realized I'm trying to have a serious discussion with a 19 year old. Epic Fail on my part.

 

[CuriousGirl]

Forever the female apologist eh? Keep fvcking that chicken bro! (google that phrase, hilarious). The benefit of the doubt means that she keeps getting the cawk, but you make sure you still wear a rubber. Everything else is suspect until proven otherwise. This guy never had any proof she was worthwhile, but now he's getting proof that she's not. All he had was a facade she threw up. He doesn't know her at all, now he's starting to get to really know her. It's time for him to delve deeper and see if she is worthy.

Oh my god. I just realized I'm trying to have a serious discussion with a 19 year old. Epic Fail on my part.

No, people in general! You shouldn't assume the worst or the best in people. And you can't know it was all a facade. People have different sides to them, and you learn more about people as you get to know them. And even when you know them you learn more. Whether its good or bad, but that doesn't always mean your original impression was an intended facade.

Only just realised? So does that mean to say your gut assumed I was older?

 

[CaptainJ]

The thing is though, what I find most interesting about this site, is that from my experience and a lot of the girls I know....it seems to be the opposite. That it's the guys messing the girls around, that it's the girls that should be wary about which guy to trust when the guys don't really seem to care...and the girls end up screwed over. Is this then just a breakdown in communication between the two genders? Or is sex such a massive part of our lives that it drastically affects our relationships and how we can relate to each other?

This is because we are in England. England is by the sound of it nowhere near as bad as it is in America. Most Men here are brought up with the player-esque mindset and the "any hole's a goal" motto, although most of the suck at it! Men still hold traditional values here and embrace their masculinity, although i can see this changing in big cities, and particularily in the rise of feminist, socialist Labour activists.