girlfriend feeling too secure and getting lazy

[nobodyknowsit]

basically this girl had a GREAT attitude when she was trying to earn the status of "my girlfriend", i let that drag on for almost three months, but since then (almost a month) she has gotten wayyy to secure and lazy. I dont want to break up wiht her just yet, but im unsure of what exactly to do to fix this. My thinking would be to make her realize that she needs to still work to KEEP that status, but how should i go about doing that? tell her about that fact or just show it with actions (hanging out (just hanging out) with other girls, not bothering to talk to her, not bothering to take her out?). I started thinking this way when she told me that I dont hug her enough in school, or talk to her enough in school (yet she says she likes it when i do because im unpredictable). So i told her that she is getting predictable because she has never made ANY initiative and she should be careful that i dont get bored.

What do you guys htink i should do? how much contact? should i not hang out with her this weekend (i usually do one night a week is all)? should i jsut not call her to hang out, but make plans to spend time iwth her if SHE calls ME?

Thanks for the advice

 

[ScrewIt]

actually i think it's the opposite way.

u say she's being too secure cause she's predictable.
well think about it this way:

maybe she's secure cause YOU'RE the one who's always predictable.

remember even if you do have a gf, you should still have an active social life going on.

if you had female friends or others around you she sees as a threat to the relationship then that might actually spice it up.
im not saying you should, but whatever you want pal.

remember to be unpredictable.

 

[nobodyknowsit]

actually, like i said, i do have a social life. I only hang out with her once a week.

Maybe I am predictable in some areas.. which is what im trying to change. so back to my question:

What do you guys htink i should do? how much contact? should i not hang out with her this weekend (i usually do one night a week is all)? should i jsut not call her to hang out, but make plans to spend time iwth her if SHE calls ME?

 

[ScrewIt]

so what exactly do you guys do for fun??

maybe you should make a change and try something different for a change?

 

[nobodyknowsit]

movies, mall, bowling, rent a movie, park the car under the moon and stars, go to parties, get dessert, [try to] teach her how to snowboard, wrestle

im kinda out of ideas on that too, i try to do something different every time (except when we rent a movie at one of our houses late at night, that has been more than once)

 

[ScrewIt]

go give pool and skating a try, it's great

 

[nobodyknowsit]

I am new to the idea of having a girlfriend, I try to always do new things and keep it exciting, but I was just wondering what the difference in behavior should be when she is your gf. Should i show a lot of affection in public, like arm around her, hug her, maybe a small kiss.. will those things raise her interest.. but still be seen laughing and such with other girls and not hang out with her all the time. Basically i just like to have her chasing after me and begging me, call me insecure, but I like the reassurance that i am in control of the relationship (and yes, I am, i just like getting reassurance every so often)

 

[Ice Cold]

Cut her off. Simply as that.

What does she like when you do? What is she getting from you?

Think about that and decrease the supply of those things.

The price will rise.

 

[nobodyknowsit]

I dont really know what she likes when i do.. shes pretty timid and doesnt express that. I have given her three orgasms though in the past 6 weeks (not everytime we make out though so i guess im cutting her off in a way).

I kinda just realized that I think the problem IS me like ScrewIt said. She called me tonight and was all into talking to me, asked why we havent talked in a couple days.. stuff like that.

I think my problem is that i dont know how to seduce or maybe i just dont do it... probably related to childhood insecurities (my mom has been married like 5 times, although our home has always been very stable, she just cant pick a good man) Can yuo guys give me any tips on how to act towards a girlfriend to make her "heart melt" both in a public situation and in a private situation. I dont need tips on making out or sexual techniques, once i get into that situation i am very good, Its the non sexual stuff that i get stuck with.

Thanks

 

[jbbrain]

http://www.sosuave.com/vBulletin/showthread.php?s=&threadid=45518&highlight=sell+yourself+short

Read it, come to your own conclusions.

 

[myfriendblu]

Your in school? Too young for a GF. Dump her, and see other, multiple, girls on the side. Have fun.