There's actually nothing wrong with what the OP did as far as the decisions he made. They are his decisions and as long as he can stick by them - that's all that matters. (none of us really know how much time he spends with his girlfriend; if Wednesday was his only day or something - then yeah, that's a little strange. But I'm willing to bet that he sees her plenty. On top of that - it's never good to be in a routine with a woman! Having a set day that you go and see a woman every week, is very anti-challenge and boring. Even worse if you normally do the same sh!t each time.)
His woman is acting VERY NEEDY and that's never a bad thing! (unless of course you don't like the woman)
What's wrong with what the OP did was the way he handled her reactions. Feeding her drama with drama is like throwing fire on fire and saying "why's it so hot?"...
This will now be a reoccurring theme throughout their relationship.... Forever...
I see very bad things happening from here on.
Now...
SgtSplacker said:
There's nothing wrong with buying a girl a drink.
There's nothing wrong with helping a girl pay for something.
There's nothing wrong with being nice to a girl.
Impressive! You've created quite the collection of straw men here. None of this (other than the last one,) has anything to do with what's being discussed here.
But I do agree with the last one - - -
there is nothing wrong with being nice to a woman. But in the context of a woman being a whiny b!tch about stuff - giving her "nice rational 'let's fix this' guy" in return is NEXT LEVEL weak.
That is a very bad direction to be steering men.
SgtSplacker said:
Most of the girls I am intimate with look to me for advice, help, friendship. I help these ladies in any way I can as long as it's done in the right way.
Unless you're dealing with mostly rational women (aka: boring) - there's not a lot of use in trying to be a therapist/offer advice to a woman. Most women just want to express their emotions, their problems, and how they feel about things... They aren't necessarily looking for ways to fix these things. This is a mistake a lot of men make. Same when she complains about things you personally are doing. Explaining why, or trying to transfer her to a different state through logical means is (at best) a shot in the dark.
SgtSplacker said:
The most important thing a man can learn is how to represent himself properly.
So what do you want to represent yourself as? Is being a "Feign concern dude" any more noble than being one who treats her tantrums as a joke or just ignores them completely?
Are you representing yourself properly if you're coming up with fake reasons for doing things in order to "attempt" to cause less drama?
I don't believe him saying [word for word] what you said about would have changed her displeasure. You think suggesting you change the date (which is boring to begin with) is just going to make things smooth with her dramatic side? Not... With this woman. Maybe with more tame, domesticated women... But not with a firecracker! And I can just tell both the OP and the OPs girlfriend are filled with gunpowder.
SgtSplacker said:
Women are overly sensitive, we know this already. Just because you use a little tact in explaining something to her it doesn't mean you are giving in to bratty behavior, or a wimp or whatever. You are achieving your goals.
IF a woman is being a bratty b!tch, and you want to use "tact" and fairness - you might as well suck her **** while you're at it. This sh!t doesn't go unnoticed. You think a woman doesn't know when you're tip-toeing? Or when you're trying to present things in a way as to not cause drama?
SgtSplacker said:
Precautions: Don't want girl to think I am loosing interest in her.
#1: There's absolutely nothing wrong with a woman being concerned that you "may" be losing interest in her. It's much better than most other ways she could feel about your interest levels. Or... You worrying about her interest levels in you.
#2: The bigger issue is her feeling a loss of power here (you're making decisions without consulting her). And how you can't let that be a concern to you. It will NOT hurt your relationship in any way, unless you become an equal b!tch to match her b!tch. When you get in "text wars" with a woman like the OP did - that is acting like a b!tch (meaning: female). That is allowing her the opportunity to regain power through her throwing tantrums. The more serious you take it - the more power you're giving. The more she feels this works - the more you're going to get it. And the cycle will be beyond vicious. And this can lead to drama addiction on both parts.
Perhaps he's already addicted to drama, so no advice we give will mean anything to him. But on the advice scale - I'd be weary of following your advice as it's not at all newbie friendly; because it will require advanced screening for women who are not typical.
Most women aren't going to stick around a guy who's noble or fair for long.... Unless of course, he's being like a girlfriend to her when she wants to complain, and he's paying her bills, and buying her drinks/meals when they go out............ That's the one exception.
