Girlfriend broke up with me.

[pipe007]

I understand bro, having a woman can be a blessing, but most of the times it is a roller coaster of emotions and issues...

you need to learn how to be stronger and wiser with each relationship you go through in life.

I see she was not a ONS, that you guys were together for several months.... but this is your life lesson::::

it doesnt matter if you are with a girl for 1 month or 10-20-30 years... you must always learn to maintain control of the relationship and be the one who ends it first, when you see the signs of LOW INTEREST

there are usually several signs of a girl losing interest before she starts lying, becoing colder, distand and ends up cheating or dumping you.

you must learn to see this signs and act inmediately
you have to DO something about it!!

- freeze her, do no contact for a day, days, weeks, months, whatever it takes,,, till you have her hooked again... never reward low interest, and react with indiference to low interest, and reward high interest....

if you see the signs, and you see relationship is getting cold and going downhill, you must eject on the act... and take control, and let her reorient herself to you again... or show her the door!!!...

hope you understand.

 

[exscall]

I understand bro, having a woman can be a blessing, but most of the times it is a roller coaster of emotions and issues...

you need to learn how to be stronger and wiser with each relationship you go through in life.

I see she was not a ONS, that you guys were together for several months.... but this is your life lesson::::

it doesnt matter if you are with a girl for 1 month or 10-20-30 years... you must always learn to maintain control of the relationship and be the one who ends it first, when you see the signs of LOW INTEREST

there are usually several signs of a girl losing interest before she starts lying, becoing colder, distand and ends up cheating or dumping you.

you must learn to see this signs and act inmediately
you have to DO something about it!!

- freeze her, do no contact for a day, days, weeks, months, whatever it takes,,, till you have her hooked again... never reward low interest, and react with indiference to low interest, and reward high interest....

if you see the signs, and you see relationship is getting cold and going downhill, you must eject on the act... and take control, and let her reorient herself to you again... or show her the door!!!...

hope you understand.

Dont think you have read my posts was not months was 5 years and i have gone no contact she is getting in touch with me i e none stop calls texts etc ie me asking for advice .

 

[drak_ool]

Man I've been advising guys to go no contact on this site for the past 2+ years. Most of them don't even get what the concept is, they think it's a way to get your gf back. You seem to grasp the basics, NC is for yourself, to help you move on with your life, learn from your mistakes and become a better person. So just keep at it. Anything short of a call from the emergency room saying your ex tried to end her days should not sway you to communicate with her in any way.

If you have no problems getting other chicks, then go at it, get back in the game and soon your ex will be just a distant memory.

good luck

 

[shortie]

hey OP,

if you can turn off your phone for a little while to keep your mind off it then do that. Do not let her contact you. Do not pick up do not read the texts. like you said she doesnt want to get back with you then there is no use in talking to her. she will make you feel like crap by telling you about her dates and sh~t eventually. you dont wanna go through that.

focus on yourself, work out, get busy with friends, and just keep yourself occupied. do not contact her or give into letting her contact you.

goodluck!

 

[ThatMysteriousGuy]

Dont think you have read my posts was not months was 5 years and i have gone no contact she is getting in touch with me i e none stop calls texts etc ie me asking for advice .

For ****s sake would you ****ing **** **** **** stop talking to her already.

Jesus Christ. Do what you say. Follow through with it.

Stop posting "i won't do it" then "i did it" then "i won't do it" then "i did it"...

You're not in NO CONTACT. You're in CONSTANT CONTACT.

Don't type text messages. Don't talk to her on the phone. Don't go to meet her.

Which part of this do you not understand? Get on with your life. Forget her. Find a good girlfriend. There are THREE THOUSAND FOUR HUNDRED MILLION WOMEN on this planet who could be interested in you if you could do a little tiny thing and not to text, phone, or meet ONE SPECIFIC WOMAN.

 

[exscall]

For ****s sake would you ****ing **** **** **** stop talking to her already.

Jesus Christ. Do what you say. Follow through with it.

Stop posting "i won't do it" then "i did it" then "i won't do it" then "i did it"...

You're not in NO CONTACT. You're in CONSTANT CONTACT.

Don't type text messages. Don't talk to her on the phone. Don't go to meet her.

Which part of this do you not understand? Get on with your life. Forget her. Find a good girlfriend. There are THREE THOUSAND FOUR HUNDRED MILLION WOMEN on this planet who could be interested in you if you could do a little tiny thing and not to text, phone, or meet ONE SPECIFIC WOMAN.

Erm i think you need to relax!!! i am not replying or answering or having contact with her at all and dont intend to. I only joined this site the other day, hardly been doing multiple threads. I am getting on with my life thanks. Strange how some people on this site expect guys to turn into a machine two minutes after a split from a long term relationship. I know what to do but at same time im knew to this forum and its nice posting and getting advice thanks to everybody who has given me advice very much appreciated.

 

[exscall]

Man I've been advising guys to go no contact on this site for the past 2+ years. Most of them don't even get what the concept is, they think it's a way to get your gf back. You seem to grasp the basics, NC is for yourself, to help you move on with your life, learn from your mistakes and become a better person. So just keep at it. Anything short of a call from the emergency room saying your ex tried to end her days should not sway you to communicate with her in any way.

If you have no problems getting other chicks, then go at it, get back in the game and soon your ex will be just a distant memory.

good luck

Thanks all i needed to hear.Yeah im not doing it to get her back or cause her distress, Im going no contact so i can get myself over her and back on track and save all the hassle and hurt simple as that. Yeah the game, well there is def going to be some lucky ladys were i am hehe.

 

[Rollo Tomassi]

I find it fascinating that the first SS members to pop off about the advice of others don't ask even the most basic primary questions before they drop in some canned response of their own.

Strange how some people on this site expect guys to turn into a machine two minutes after a split from a long term relationship.

Lets do a little math here. You're 26 and have been monogamous with the same girl for 5 years, meaning you met at 21, possibly before that. 3 of which were LDR years. In all likelihood, all you've known for the better part of your young adult years is exclusiveness with this one girl. Naturally you're going to be a bit hesitant removing yourself from the relationship, but more, you've got a lot to learn in transitioning from the adolescent social (dating) skills that got you together with her back when you were 21, into a more mature, adult social skill set. This takes practice, and willingness to risk rejection. For a guy fresh out of a very young 5 year LTR the 'easier path' is ALWAYS going to seem like "making it work".

This is why you blame yourself in your OP. I'm not sure we all really know enough about what you consider "being selfish".

Most importantly were you still in an LDR situation prior to the break up? I think this is more egregious than anything else. 3 LDR years of a 5 year LTR is insanity, but I've seen it happen for longer. This is probably the root of your problem.

 

[ThatMysteriousGuy]

Erm i think you need to relax!!! i am not replying or answering or having contact with her at all and dont intend to. I only joined this site the other day, hardly been doing multiple threads. I am getting on with my life thanks. Strange how some people on this site expect guys to turn into a machine two minutes after a split from a long term relationship. I know what to do but at same time im knew to this forum and its nice posting and getting advice thanks to everybody who has given me advice very much appreciated.

It's tough love dude, nothing personal.

I'd just hate to see another guy who seems decent enough get stuck in a situation where life goes by while some girl uses him as a backup. I wouldn't bother if it didn't appear you were capable of it.

Maybe you should yell at yourself like I did every time you get the urge to respond.

 

[exscall]

I find it fascinating that the first SS members to pop off about the advice of others don't ask even the most basic primary questions before they drop in some canned response of their own.





Lets do a little math here. You're 26 and have been monogamous with the same girl for 5 years, meaning you met at 21, possibly before that. 3 of which were LDR years. In all likelihood, all you've known for the better part of your young adult years is exclusiveness with this one girl. Naturally you're going to be a bit hesitant removing yourself from the relationship, but more, you've got a lot to learn in transitioning from the adolescent social (dating) skills that got you together with her back when you were 21, into a more mature, adult social skill set. This takes practice, and willingness to risk rejection. For a guy fresh out of a very young 5 year LTR the 'easier path' is ALWAYS going to seem like "making it work".

This is why you blame yourself in your OP. I'm not sure we all really know enough about what you consider "being selfish".

Most importantly were you still in an LDR situation prior to the break up? I think this is more egregious than anything else. 3 LDR years of a 5 year LTR is insanity, but I've seen it happen for longer. This is probably the root of your problem.

I have no fear of rejection, the way i look at it any girl thats not interested there loss. had a two year long relationship before this one first love or puppy love, were she cheated on me and was not nice at all during break up learned a lot and will never be like that again. this ex contacted me 2 years later via letter pleading for me back in which after a month a let her no that there was not even a chance of friendship after the way she acted . Anyways i was single for a year and then i met my present ex i was loving been single did not want to settle down and def had issues still from my past.But she was a great girl total opposite of my first ex i did not jump into a relationship was seeing lots of girls but feelings grow. This is why i think i feel sorry for her trying to get in touch and basically begging me to still be friends, due to her not deliberetly disrespecting me and i cant blame someone for not wanting to be in a relationship with me i still realise she has not acted perfect tho but i saw the signs but ignored them and carried on doing what i was doing, i cheated many times and made no effort. But i have made a decision to cut all ties and i am sticking to it. Yes we were long distance and yes it was for three years saw each other generally every other weekend and she would come to see me some weekdays and she would call me lots of times every day.i know crazy and i think your right long distance was the root of all the problems never again.

 

[exscall]

It's tough love dude, nothing personal.

I'd just hate to see another guy who seems decent enough get stuck in a situation where life goes by while some girl uses him as a backup. I wouldn't bother if it didn't appear you were capable of it.

Maybe you should yell at yourself like I did every time you get the urge to respond.

yeah i know its not personal mate didnt mean to seem snappy. you and the other members speak sense and i am sticking to the advice given . i am def shouting at myself everytime i get the urge to respond hehe

 

[Buddha_Mind]

exscall,

Keep up with no contact. You said you aren't happy with where you're life is:

get happy with it.

All else will keep flowing. Strength brother.