Girlfriend Being VERY Annoying

[Cod3r]

Ok fellas,

Usually she's good and non-chalant and chilled, but lately she's been kinda clingy and just wierd. Hard to explain and I don't want to go into alot of details, but this weekend we hung out and she kinda got upset because I went out by myself to a bar to just chill...

Anyway she comes over tonight to watch 'heros' (that show is hot btw) and well I just generally feel annoyed and I tell her, because we are honest about our feelings. ANyways I tell her how I feel she's no longer a challenge for me and she's not doing her part to keep things exciting and fresh, she kind of takes offense in her own way and apologizes (which makes me more annoyed)

Anyway she's sad now and then she just calls me and she KNOWS I have a life-changing interview tommorow which I have to work on and AFTER I tell her just text me to let me know u got home safe... Anyway she calls and we small-talk for about 2 minutes and then i'm like...

"Well i'll talk to u later this week (aka give me some space)"

And she asks to talk for 5 more minutes where she goes on some long rant about how much she loves me and her past relationships and blahh blahh blahh my gawddd, i've never been so annoyed in the 9 months we've been together. I'm dead silent and tell her I don't understand what she's rambling about, she continues... keeps talking until finally i say I gotta 'prepare for tommorow' and hang up the phone...

She ends by apologizing for calling and sounding sad... ughhhh....


--
She's Japanese btw so it is a cultural thing here (she just moved here 6 years ago) but wat is going on with her ?? I know I've alwways needed my space and i'm open about that, don't wanna cheat but wanna go out and have some beers with the boys or by my damn self, why is she acting so wierd now ???


-Cod3r

 

[dap]

This is a tough situation, so I may not be right on here, but this is what I reccomend:

She wants a more serious relationship. So you either have the choice of going all in, or cashing out (in poker terms). You just have to decide if you see yourself with this girls 5 years, or even 1 year from now.

 

[Cod3r]

I believe she knows that I'm serious about our relationships, 2/3 of her belongings reside in my residence....

I mean she knows i'm the type of person that 'needs his space' and all of a sudden today when i remind her of that, she decides to be the most annoying person on Earth ??

Now i'm frustrated because I know i hurt her feelings, she already has a hard enough time expressing her feelings and now i just bit her head off, yeah good luck tryna get her to do that again... guhhh...

I'm just hella annoyed right now with everything, this interview, i'm tired, i'm hungry, I don't need to be thinking about her right now. Tks for the insight tho.


-Cod3r

 

[Jariel]

You sound like a reasonable guy and you're not asking for a lot. Sometimes other things take priority or sometimes we just need a bit of space and a clingy girlfriend can get really annoying.

My girlfriend is the same, and so are some of my friends. They just start getting insecure if I'm not available. My GF admits to me she gets paranoid and thinks I'm going off her.

I have no revolutionary advice, I'd just recommend reassuring her that things are fine and you will make it upto her and take her out when things are less stressful.

Good luck with the interview btw.

 

[MisterNigma]

Generalized Anxiety.

Ok fellas,

Usually she's good and non-chalant and chilled, but lately she's been kinda clingy and just wierd. Hard to explain and I don't want to go into alot of details, but this weekend we hung out and she kinda got upset because I went out by myself to a bar to just chill...

Anyway she comes over tonight to watch 'heros' (that show is hot btw) and well I just generally feel annoyed and I tell her, because we are honest about our feelings. ANyways I tell her how I feel she's no longer a challenge for me and she's not doing her part to keep things exciting and fresh, she kind of takes offense in her own way and apologizes (which makes me more annoyed)

Anyway she's sad now and then she just calls me and she KNOWS I have a life-changing interview tommorow which I have to work on and AFTER I tell her just text me to let me know u got home safe... Anyway she calls and we small-talk for about 2 minutes and then i'm like...

"Well i'll talk to u later this week (aka give me some space)"

And she asks to talk for 5 more minutes where she goes on some long rant about how much she loves me and her past relationships and blahh blahh blahh my gawddd, i've never been so annoyed in the 9 months we've been together. I'm dead silent and tell her I don't understand what she's rambling about, she continues... keeps talking until finally i say I gotta 'prepare for tommorow' and hang up the phone...

She ends by apologizing for calling and sounding sad... ughhhh....


--
She's Japanese btw so it is a cultural thing here (she just moved here 6 years ago) but wat is going on with her ?? I know I've alwways needed my space and i'm open about that, don't wanna cheat but wanna go out and have some beers with the boys or by my damn self, why is she acting so wierd now ???


-Cod3r

I don't doubt your perceptions of your girlfriend, but I do doubt the frame of mind you're in while making those observations.

You have a life changing interview? Whether you're willing to admit it, or not, on some leve you're stressed out and anxious. At the moment she is probably one of the most important people in your life. So you vent at her.

Give it a little time, and after the interview, and whatever life chaning event, think about it.

For now, just relax.

Good Luck on the interview.


-E.Nigma

 

[Last Man Standing]

You want a new hor to get that new-hor feeling again!!!!!! Find a new hor!!

 

[Cod3r]

^ ^ I always appreciate the kids joining in the conversation


Tks for the insight, off to sleep


-Cod3r

 

[Last Man Standing]

She is being a girl!!!!! Girls are not suppose to be exciting - they are boring creatures and thus men rather be around other dudes!!! She tells you that she loves you and you get annoyed? Hors want attention - when they don't get it then go to the next pimp in line!!!!

 

[Scrumtulescence]

She is being a girl!!!!! Girls are not suppose to be exciting - they are boring creatures and thus men rather be around other dudes!!! She tells you that she loves you and you get annoyed? Hors want attention - when they don't get it then go to the next pimp in line!!!!

You're smart for a 44 year old.

 

[Bible_Belt]

we are honest about our feelings

Not if you want to keep a LTR going, you aren't. Learn to craft your words carefully, especially in regard to your emotions. Most of time, think it, don't say it is the way to go. I have mostly been in one LTR or another since I was 16, and I am finally learning to stfu about my "feelings." Now I have much easier relationships.

 

[musclyjerk]

Question #1 Are you acting toward her in a manner that suggests you don't love her?

Question #2 Do you resent her for loving you?

Question #3 What sort of relationship would you be happy with at this moment in your life?

I believe if you ask yourself these questions all will become clear.

The Muscly Jerk

 

[MisterNigma]

we are honest about our feelings

Not if you want to keep a LTR going, you aren't. Learn to craft your words carefully, especially in regard to your emotions. Most of time, think it, don't say it is the way to go. I have mostly been in one LTR or another since I was 16, and I am finally learning to stfu about my "feelings." Now I have much easier relationships.

Took you 30 years to stfu about your emotions. Imagine how long he has to go before his girl gets it . . .

As far as women and emotions. That's the problem, (or solution as the case may be) women are ruled by emotions.


-E.Nigma

 

[Cod3r]

we are honest about our feelings

Not if you want to keep a LTR going, you aren't. Learn to craft your words carefully, especially in regard to your emotions. Most of time, think it, don't say it is the way to go. I have mostly been in one LTR or another since I was 16, and I am finally learning to stfu about my "feelings." Now I have much easier relationships.

I have no problems keeping a LTR going, I've always been open about feelings and open lines of communication, I've learned that's the key to a healthy relationship. I've been open with her since the beginning and we're going on 9 months strong, it was just last night she was being crazy annoying.

Question #1 Are you acting toward her in a manner that suggests you don't love her?

Question #2 Do you resent her for loving you?

Question #3 What sort of relationship would you be happy with at this moment in your life?

Good questions and I believe the answers have cleared the picture up. It was just a fluke night, I was frustrated with alot of work and just tired and she just missed the cue to 'leave me alone', just mixed signals. Everything is cool, no problems... tks


-Cod3r

 

[vorbis]

ANyways I tell her how I feel she's no longer a challenge for me and she's not doing her part to keep things exciting and fresh

I'm sorry man but if a girl told me this, I would be flat out insulted. And I'm an easy going guy! I can't imagine how an emotionally driven woman would take that. You threw a very large spanner in the works with that statement, no wonder she's coming out with all the "I love you" stuff now!

 

[MisterNigma]

I have no problems keeping a LTR going, I've always been open about feelings and open lines of communication, I've learned that's the key to a healthy relationship. I've been open with her since the beginning and we're going on 9 months strong, it was just last night she was being crazy annoying.



Good questions and I believe the answers have cleared the picture up. It was just a fluke night, I was frustrated with alot of work and just tired and she just missed the cue to 'leave me alone', just mixed signals. Everything is cool, no problems... tks


-Cod3r

I love being right once in a while


-E.Nigma

P.S. - I usually prefer to be wrong.

 

[Cod3r]

I'm sorry man but if a girl told me this, I would be flat out insulted. And I'm an easy going guy! I can't imagine how an emotionally driven woman would take that. You threw a very large spanner in the works with that statement, no wonder she's coming out with all the "I love you" stuff now!

Great catch, I just realized after reading your statment that you're right. She wasn't bvtching and whining and annoying until I told her this. We were chilled and I was just generally having a 'cod3r-only' day and when she showed up instead of pretending to be happy to see her, I just told her straight up that I needed some 'me-time' and the she's 'not a challenge' ect...

I probably was a tad insensitive being the fact I was anxious about my interview (which is in a few hours) and just tired and hungry and overall not in my best mood, yeah I can see how she would take that badly. Ooops lol.

Dosen't help when she wanted to discuss her feelings, I shut her out...

Anyway things are good, she texted me early this morning with some non-chalant stuff as if nothing happened, so she's good and i'm good and ready to kick some arse for this interview... nice !


-Cod3r

 

[Bible_Belt]

I've always been open about feelings and open lines of communication, I've learned that's the key to a healthy relationship.


That sounds like some Dr. Phil psychobabble to me. If you keep your emotions to yourself, you would not have these little fights in the first place.

But I'm glad it worked out. Good luck with the interview and everything else.

 

[specialed]

cod3r...don't you cheat on her? doesn't seem very serious of that's true.

 

[Nighthawk]

She acted like all the AFCs do when they fear interest levels dropping - they panic, get clingy and feel the need to express how much they care.

And as usual, it's annoying and has the opposite effect.

 

[IamRAMBO]

Hey I'm part Japanese and that's the kind of clingy mentality they have.

It is a big culture shock. Japanese men are very machoistic, which makes the women timid and needy.

Also the fact shes only been here for 6 years she probably does not have a lot of friends or have not adapted to the american culture very well.

Maybe you're all shes got.

Stop being such a jerk and understand the girl a little. I'm telling you if you don't hold onto her .. well shes an asian girl .. you know they don't stay single for very long.