girlfriend away!

[adam88]

hi everyone i was wondering if you people could help.

me and my girlfriend have been together for two years!!she has recently gone on holiday to a popular holiday resort to work for the summer!!we had some heated discussions before she went about what would happen and she assured me that she wanted to stay with me..wudnt cheat on me etc!! she has been there now for nearly two weeks and has started to act weird..she insists its not because of another man but she just seems unloving..hardly texts/rings..doesnt know if will will last and said she doesnt know wether she wants me to go out n visit her for a week!!is it a case or her being to busy and having a good time or are there more underlying reasons?and what do i do?do i txt her just once daily or do i not txt her at all unless she texts me!!any help would be appreciated!

Thanks

 

[horaholic]

Sorry to say this, but it is probably over. If something seems weird, it probably is. Its highly unlikely that ANY girls will stay faithful, while working at a resort for the entire summer. You have three options: !. Break it off now. 2. Stay in the relationship, but secretly consider yourself single, and see what happens, and when summers over, never speak of it. 3. Make an understanding with her that you will be single for the summer, and see what happens when she gets back.

Whatever you choose, you need to pursue other women, or you will be tortured wondering what or who she's doing. What usually happens here is the guy will wait for her, and believe her, and when she gets back, she lets him know the relationship is over, while in her mind it has been for a while, but she didnt want her BF to bang anyone else.

Assume she is having a summer fling, and do the same. If you want to break it off, or keep it a secret is up to you, but dont wait for her! Changes in a GF's behaviour is ALWAYS a bad sign. It means the relationship is done, or on its way out. All you can do, is recognize this, and get out first, while its easier for you.

said she doesnt know wether she wants me to go out n visit her for a week

This is the clincher. You two are done. The brutal translation of this is: Let me see how it works out with this guy Im banging, before I invite you out here. There is NO other reason for her to not want you to come out, sorry to say.

Dump her first. It will be far easier on you, and it will have the added bonus of fvcking her up in the head and ruining her summer fling. She will try to win you back, but you need to be strong. She is only trying to get the upper hand, and blame everything on you. TRUST ME HERE. Trust everyone else on her who will tell you the same thing. We have ALL been through this same thing. You're lucky enough to have this site to help you through it.

Sorry, and good luck.

EDIT instead of making a new post, I will add to this one. The post below is correct also. I challenge you to go four days with ZERO contact with this girl, to evaluate it. That means dont answer any calls or texts. In this four days, you should gain some perspective on the situation, and your GF will get some as well. It might make her realize what she's doing. PLEASE do this. NO contact for four days.

 

[playerone]

You sound really insecure. Have you read the DJ Bible? Are you the one who initiates the texting/calling most of the time? If you are, try not texting her as often. Maybe skip a day without texting her. You have to find your own life to lead instead of worrying if your girlfriend will cheat on you while she's not with you. If she's going to cheat on you with another man, there is no way you can stop her from doing so. It is really up to her, so i suggest you develop some confidence and inner game, find some things to do, enjoy doing them, and be a man who isn't afraid to lose his woman because he knows he can easily get another one more worthy of his time.

 

[drak_ool]

she insists its not because of another man but she just seems unloving..hardly texts/rings..doesnt know if will will last

Honestly, do you really need anybody's advice?
sure, it's not because of another man, it's probably because of MANY other men...

Your girl is either seeing somebody else, or she's ready to do it and she just feel like you re a weight hanging around her neck. Of course she doesn't want you to visit, that would be a week of partying lost for her!

my bottom line usually is: if I can't trust a girl any longer, I next her. Up to you to make your choice...

 

[shaunuk]

my question is for you, why were you even asking her "what would happen" before she went away. She *definitely* knows by the sound of your post that you're insecure that she'll shag someone else.

You've got the total wrohg dynamic here, enough said.

She's gone weird on you. Even if she hasn't shagged someone else, she might do eventually (either this summer or later). It's clearly not working out. I'd finish it now.

 

[joyjoy]

Everything in your life that is not good, we always say: it is wierd. Have you ever asked why you are lucky? I think you should be happy b/c you realize it early. And you can be calm. I wish you have a right decision.

 

[Allurre]

Detach yourself from her. Cut the strings.

It'll save your from drowning in a sea of frustration later on.

 

[Son of anarchy]

Well the guys in the firsts post gave you the right answer.
Just remember everytime something sounds bad its probably bad,its not the law of murphy it's just the more probable possibility when dealing with girls.
Btw guys I heard about this bible,sorry im new where i can find it?

 

[kraytkiller]

Well the guys in the firsts post gave you the right answer.
Just remember everytime something sounds bad its probably bad,its not the law of murphy it's just the more probable possibility when dealing with girls.
Btw guys I heard about this bible,sorry im new where i can find it?

http://www.jbspencer.com/djb/

OP sounds like he should take a look too...

 

[Captain]

Forget about her.

Long distance relationships are a total waste of your time.

If you still want to be with this girl, you should have ended things, and got back together when she gets back, assuming you have the experience with women and you still want to.

 

[WilMor]

How often are you calling and texting her? She may just feel smothered and recognize your insecurities.
Are you questioning her on every phone call? Try and keep the convos light and more to how is it going and waht have you been up to: not on the lines of quesitoning her about her whereabouts and who she has been hanging with.
No one wants to be grilled in every convo.

 

[Unbridled_Phoenix]

It's a sick irony that your grilling her about cheating before she left virtually GUARANTEED that she would be cheating on you all summer. And now she's acting weird...come on dude, you know what the deal is.

We've all been through this man, and every guy on here looks back on his AFC Oneitis Days and wishes he knew then what he knows now. These guys are not *solely* a bitter, disgruntled mob. Hear what they are telling you and SEE that which is right in front of your eyes, no matter how badly you don't want to.

Your only recourse is to dump her, maybe fvck her when she comes home but by then you should have found a new j!zz harvester.

 

[slaog]

Actions always speak louder then words my friend. You've been togethar for 2years and she decides to leave you for the summer. This means she feels better about being in the holiday resort then she does spending time with you. Not a good sign.


Her interest wasn't high before she went away and I think - even though she didn't want to admit it - that she was thinking about breaking up.


I'd take the advise already given. No contact and start looking for other women. See it as being over now because thats how she sees it. She'll think more of you if you go no contact.

 

[trajhenkhet02]

Well let's look at everything in a list

1) She went ahead and did something you asked her not to. Some may call this move AFC, however if you draw a line in the sand and she crosses it that just leaves the door open for more disrespect.

2) Basically told you the relationship you had together might not be strong enough to last.

3) Strangely decides that the best thing to fix this is for you to maybe not visit her? WTF?

As point 2 or 3 was mentioned to you, you should have just hung the phone up on her and went out and had fun. Where things are right now I agree with the majority right now and that is for you to go forth and have fun and not answer her calls. Time for her to be a bit discomforted what say you sir? Choose wisely sir.

 

[Kal0051]

I just always assume that there is the possibility that the girl I'm seeing will fvck another guy at any time (I'll never be disappointed). So I never stop talking to other women, never stop approaching (even if I don't intend it to go further than that, good practice).

Something tells me that there's something going on with your girl. She doesn't want you to go because there's something she doesn't want you to know. Get out there and meet more women.