girlfriend acting aloof soo i took charge

[wrestlerbjj]

hey guys a struggling dj here

me and this girl we will call her becky have been going out seriously for the past 4 months... and the relationship is amazing..like we both care for each other soo much but I personally have some up and downs... tonite was the worst...we have a bad phone call the night before with her being sarcastic and all around *****y , not laughing at the jokes that she usually does... i just shrug it off and figure she is having a bad day...

then today she gives me major attitude and is really quite and aloof... i ask her wuts wrong about 3-4 times and she says nothing...

after were in the restaurant and its like an awkward silence i tell her im going to get fresh air... she goes " oh so your jus gonna leave me here?" I say nothing then just walk out.... I get more attitude.. so i blast the music and drive straight to her house... (she is crying at this point) i pull up in front of her house and tell her " i dont tolerate girls with attitude" then i get this whole story about how she had a bad week and w/e... so anyway we end up going in the house and she has a complete mood swing and is now like I love you and I could never live without you and all this ****


Was this girl just testing me or does or could it be a bad day? I really cannot tolerate anymore of these " bad days"


THis relationship is crazy one day i feel like she is the one... the next day like she is gonna cheat on me... the next day i dont care about her the next day were gonna brake up and then im crazy about her again....

I need sum help guys ...

thanks

 

[DEKKA]

judging from the reaction and not the situation, she appeared to be glad you got pissed and turned right around. perhaps she just wanted to see you ruffle your man-feathers.

-J

 

[Julian]

Lol man, women.. they're a beautiful thing.

 

[BrWnSugaMan]

wrestlerbjj,

First off, I want to say that you handled this situation extremely well for a DJ. Good job.

1.) She gave you s*!t for something that was not your fault (her having a bad weekend). She realized this later on when she apologized to you.

2.) She gave you s*!t for attempting to comfort her. This again was her fault. She REALIZED this later on when she apologized to you.

Potential Reasons Why She Acted the Way She Did:

1.) She was really having a bad week. You definately need to talk to her and figure out exactly why she flipped out on you.

2.) She is what we DJ's call a "Drama Queen." A Drama Queen causes unecessary trouble with you. One reason why she may have done this is because she has enjoyed the past 4 months but she may be feeling that the relationship is starting to go down hill. She thinks that if she can become ***** enough with you and find faults in everything you do then she can justify in her own mind breaking up with you. Or...she may be causing drama on purpose because she has enjoyed that past 4 months but feel like the relationship is going down hill because the flare it not there anymore for her. By causing drama and then making up it brings back some of the excitement to the relationship that may have ended. Let's face it...relationsihps are alot more fun when they first start off.

Anyways...your number one goal right now is to find out why she got mad. If she refuses to give you a reason then it was something other than her having a bad week.

Good Luck

 

[wrestlerbjj]

I really like this girl and I dont want this relationship to end or "go down hill" but what are some things I can do to help bring back the excitement and help her feel like the relationship is back up?

 

[NatureGuy]

I say you're overreacting to her 'moods' ,
tests, or whatever they are. The point where you mention she was crying and
you were all angry and acting out was not
good. She may not leave now, but that behavior on your part will be on her mind and she'll wonder if this is what the future holds for her with you. If it was a deliberate test, alot of women test guys to see if they'll get angry or blow up - it's something they don't like (would you?)
and doesn't sound like a confident guy.

 

[Locke]

first off, i have to agree that you definitely did well there.

second, whether or not she even knew it, she was most likely testing you on some level, but with the way you handled it, she's probably a lot more secure with how you are. she probably saw that you are willing to take control in a bad situation, rather than run home and curl up in a fetal position.

third, i also agree that you are overreacting to her moods. women's moods are too unpredictable and strange to read a whole lot out of them most of the time.

 

[PlayerSupreme]

Originally posted by wrestlerbjj
I really like this girl and I dont want this relationship to end or "go down hill" but what are some things I can do to help bring back the excitement and help her feel like the relationship is back up?

1. I do not know the intricate details of your relationship with this girl...but you did good by Taking Control.

2. I have found that when women do this kind of shyt it's what I call a ho test. They want to pull your player/man card. What I usually tell em is "I can see your trying to test a nicca, and you get this one for free...next time I'm outta here...I don't put up with drama in my life and I will not tolerate it from anyone close to me do you understand...(what ever her name is).

Usually they will try to deny it but after breaking them down they usually admit that they felt like acting bad and wanted me to chastise them and to see how far they could push.

I set my tolerance level at zero. If they want to act up and act out I let them know they can do this alone without me. Cause I'm looking for good times in my life not bad times.

I let them know that they can get on my ship and have fun or get the hell off and float through life without me.

I'm going in a direction and I only stop at pleasure island not crashing on the reefs of drama and self doubt.

It's very important to squash this type of behavior real quick. It's a matter of teaching her correct behavior. Women are not stupid. They do know what their doing. Remember they access both sides of their brains and are well capable with each side.

My style is a little more controlling. So you will want to adopt whatever style works for you...but you do not have to tolerate this type of up and down shyt from anybody.

And you should be ready to walk away at a moments notice and make sure she knows that your capable of this also.

If she thinks you will always hang out cause your hooked then it will only get worse...trust me on this. It will get way worse. She will push you to the edge of insanity, why? cause she can and it makes her feel good...gives her little power thrills to know she can get away with anything.

So keep on squashing it when it raises up.

peace

 

[wayword]

Potential Reasons Why She Acted the Way She Did:

Actually, you missed the main one: she was had an absent or distant father and thus a fear of abandonment.

We have to realize that the way grown women relate to us men now is colored strongly by her relationship with her father (reaching back into childhood).