girl went into my phone- got upset, now gone quiet

[metro_soldier91]

UPDATE:

So it's been about 2 months- no contact at all from her and none from me.
I would be lying if I said I hadn't thought about messaging her. I'm still pretty new to all this. Maybe it's because I want closure? Or can't come to terms that one moment of weakness can de-rail things?

Early on I got the vibe she thought I was a playa- asked why I hadn't deleted tinder yet, would joke about me having a 'Friday girl', when I was never available that day. During her tipsy 'exclusivity question' she asked: 'are you seeing anyone else? I said: "not at the moment" She said a few times: "I can never tell what you are thinking" But I think I didn't do a good enough job of keeping her on her toes and wondering. I possibly got comfortable and lazy.

I guess a lack of current options is my main problem- only had a ONS since and she lives too far away, plus one other date. Chatting to a handful of girls but nothing of real substance. Lots of room for improvement in terms of day approaching. A small issue I have is my social circles are dying out- most of my friends are in LTR or married! I have considered moving to a more vibrant area/city with more going on. Also realize I need a couple more social hobbies that aren't completely male dominated.

I have been working on improving myself- my body, and trying to get a higher status, better paying job.

One reason I'm posting is because tomorrow I have to go to her workplace to pick up some things for my work and its highly likely that I will bump into her.

So any advice would be appreciated, cheers

 

[manfrombelow]

First of all, thank you OP for the update. Updates are important, and please know we appreciate them.

Secondly, you have answered for yourself everything with this update, the fact that you don't have enough plates to spin is a big factor contributing to your lack of sex and sexual intimacy at this period of time.

Thirdly, if these things you are talking about are not too important, you might want to consider forgetting about them. But if you really do need to go there, just act cool, get in, grab your stuff, and leave. If you bump into her (which is not 100% likely), just act cool, say hi and do your work.

I re-read your thread more than two times, and you did nothing wrong on your part. But she did when she invaded your privacy. So no worries, bro. You'll be fine.

 

[BackInTheGame78]

UPDATE:

So it's been about 2 months- no contact at all from her and none from me.
I would be lying if I said I hadn't thought about messaging her. I'm still pretty new to all this. Maybe it's because I want closure? Or can't come to terms that one moment of weakness can de-rail things?

Early on I got the vibe she thought I was a playa- asked why I hadn't deleted tinder yet, would joke about me having a 'Friday girl', when I was never available that day. During her tipsy 'exclusivity question' she asked: 'are you seeing anyone else? I said: "not at the moment" She said a few times: "I can never tell what you are thinking" But I think I didn't do a good enough job of keeping her on her toes and wondering. I possibly got comfortable and lazy.

I guess a lack of current options is my main problem- only had a ONS since and she lives too far away, plus one other date. Chatting to a handful of girls but nothing of real substance. Lots of room for improvement in terms of day approaching. A small issue I have is my social circles are dying out- most of my friends are in LTR or married! I have considered moving to a more vibrant area/city with more going on. Also realize I need a couple more social hobbies that aren't completely male dominated.

I have been working on improving myself- my body, and trying to get a higher status, better paying job.

One reason I'm posting is because tomorrow I have to go to her workplace to pick up some things for my work and its highly likely that I will bump into her.

So any advice would be appreciated, cheers

The lesson is to put a lock(fingerprint lock if possible) on your phone so you never find yourself in this position again.

 

[manfrombelow]

With all due respect to OP, his case reminds me of this quote:

 

[bat soup]

So I've been seeing this girl for just over 3 months(once or twice a week)

At her place a few weeks ago when I was in the shower then came back to bed she was acting unusual- she said- "I should of learned my lesson and never gone into a boys phone".-she found old messages and nudes from girls in my snapchat, all from before we were dating. She started crying and said "I was just starting to really like you". In the moment I apologized and said I should of deleted them. I regret apologizing and not calling her out for going into my phone. We still had sex that next morning and haven't spoken about it since.

I've seen her once since- but the vibe seemed slightly off- like she was a bit aloof/not as warm. Since then- it has been about 12 days- she has barely said much to me- the odd "hi" in the middle of the day. She turned down my last invitation over with "I'm making food for Christmas day" with no counter offer. I haven't contacted her in 4 days and vice versa.

The thing is it has never been made properly official that we were a couple(though one point early on she said while a bit tipsy- do you think this could be more? and I blew it off and said- well I wouldn't keep inviting you to things)

Other points: I have met her family, but she has not met mine. I have invited her to a social occasion that she turned down. She is very involved in her young nieces lives and has many pets for companionship. She has a bad relationship with her father which she did not want to talk about. Her last LTR became long distance when she moved towns- meaning sex was very infrequent and I think he cheated on her.

My thought was that she was searching for a reason to end it? or looking for some drama


Advice on how to proceed thanks

Get a phone with a fingerprint lock. Women are guaranteed to start looking though your phone the moment you leave it unattended.

 

[Lookatu]

The lesson is to put a lock(fingerprint lock if possible) on your phone so you never find yourself in this position again.

What if you're sleeping and she uses your hand to unlock the phone?

Face recognition unlock works better as it only works if you have your eyes open. However if she could sneak a pair of sunglasses on your face while you're sleeping, then she maybe able to unlock it that way.

Of course, I'm talking secret agent espionage scenario $hit here. LOL But you can never be too careful.

 

[rart]

Get a phone with a fingerprint lock. Women are guaranteed to start looking though your phone the moment you leave it unattended.

My ex plate used my finger to unlock my phone while I was asleep.

 

[BackInTheGame78]

What if you're sleeping and she uses your hand to unlock the phone?

Face recognition unlock works better as it only works if you have your eyes open. However if she could sneak a pair of sunglasses on your face while you're sleeping, then she maybe able to unlock it that way.

Of course, I'm talking secret agent espionage scenario $hit here. LOL But you can never be too careful.

Then put a two factor authentication on there with fingerprint and passcode.

But honestly if she did something like that it would be an automatic dumping...that is psycho behavior.

 

[Lookatu]

Then put a two factor authentication on there with fingerprint and passcode.

Not realistic as most people seek convenience over anything. Plus passcodes can be broken pretty easily if she see's your finger prints on certain keys. This is known as "smudge attack"

Researchers use smudge attack, identify Android passcodes 68 percent of the time

Penn State researchers managed to identify the pass code patterns on two Android smartphones (the HTC G1 and the HTC Nexus One), 68% of the time, using photographs taken under different lighting conditions, and camera positions.

www.zdnet.com

 

[BackInTheGame78]

Not realistic as most people seek convenience over anything. Plus passcodes can be broken pretty easily if she see's your finger prints on certain keys. This is known as "smudge attack"

Researchers use smudge attack, identify Android passcodes 68 percent of the time

Penn State researchers managed to identify the pass code patterns on two Android smartphones (the HTC G1 and the HTC Nexus One), 68% of the time, using photographs taken under different lighting conditions, and camera positions.

www.zdnet.com

The truth is if you have to go to these lengths with a woman you should really re-evaluate why you are with her. And I guess adding more passcodes isn't the answer, it would be to work on yourself mentally as to why you would accept that behavior.

 

[Lookatu]

The truth is if you have to go to these lengths with a woman you should really re-evaluate why you are with her. And I guess adding more passcodes isn't the answer, it would be to work on yourself mentally as to why you would accept that behavior.

Agree but regardless every guy should have some kind of lock on their phone this day and age. You just never know who's going to be snooping.

 

[2Rocky]

I think a text saying "Hey I'm going to be at [her workplace] tomorrow. Drop me a line and we'll grab lunch"

Then go on about your day. If you have been inside her, you own a piece of her soul if it was the least bit pleasurable. If she responds or sets something up, you have a chance for another opportunity. if not, write her off and delete her number.

 

[Xanderson]

Next her !

 

[Modern Man Advice]

So I've been seeing this girl for just over 3 months(once or twice a week)

At her place a few weeks ago when I was in the shower then came back to bed she was acting unusual- she said- "I should of learned my lesson and never gone into a boys phone".-she found old messages and nudes from girls in my snapchat, all from before we were dating. She started crying and said "I was just starting to really like you". In the moment I apologized and said I should of deleted them. I regret apologizing and not calling her out for going into my phone. We still had sex that next morning and haven't spoken about it since.

I've seen her once since- but the vibe seemed slightly off- like she was a bit aloof/not as warm. Since then- it has been about 12 days- she has barely said much to me- the odd "hi" in the middle of the day. She turned down my last invitation over with "I'm making food for Christmas day" with no counter offer. I haven't contacted her in 4 days and vice versa.

The thing is it has never been made properly official that we were a couple(though one point early on she said while a bit tipsy- do you think this could be more? and I blew it off and said- well I wouldn't keep inviting you to things)

Other points: I have met her family, but she has not met mine. I have invited her to a social occasion that she turned down. She is very involved in her young nieces lives and has many pets for companionship. She has a bad relationship with her father which she did not want to talk about. Her last LTR became long distance when she moved towns- meaning sex was very infrequent and I think he cheated on her.

My thought was that she was searching for a reason to end it? or looking for some drama


Advice on how to proceed thanks

What makes you think you had to apologize? You do not owe any explanations to her yet (or ever for that matter). What you did is not wrong, this is modern dating, unfortunately. People come and go. She was never yours (nor you were hers) it was just your turn.

Now if you were in an LTR and you have your stuff together and this is the girl you saw yourself complementing your life, then yes, it might be disrespectful to share nudes with other girls. BUt not at this stage, at all.

If anything, you continue to see other girls so that she is not your only source of intimacy would show her you are a high-value man that women rather share and compete for.

By apologizing, you entered her frame and she lost respect for you.

Needless to mention the very fact that she disrespected your privacy mate. That is HUGE! And that's after 3 months, think about it.


Anyways, hope this helps.

Modern Man Advice

 

[Romanemp22]

UPDATE:

So it's been about 2 months- no contact at all from her and none from me.
I would be lying if I said I hadn't thought about messaging her. I'm still pretty new to all this. Maybe it's because I want closure? Or can't come to terms that one moment of weakness can de-rail things?

Early on I got the vibe she thought I was a playa- asked why I hadn't deleted tinder yet, would joke about me having a 'Friday girl', when I was never available that day. During her tipsy 'exclusivity question' she asked: 'are you seeing anyone else? I said: "not at the moment" She said a few times: "I can never tell what you are thinking" But I think I didn't do a good enough job of keeping her on her toes and wondering. I possibly got comfortable and lazy.

I guess a lack of current options is my main problem- only had a ONS since and she lives too far away, plus one other date. Chatting to a handful of girls but nothing of real substance. Lots of room for improvement in terms of day approaching. A small issue I have is my social circles are dying out- most of my friends are in LTR or married! I have considered moving to a more vibrant area/city with more going on. Also realize I need a couple more social hobbies that aren't completely male dominated.

I have been working on improving myself- my body, and trying to get a higher status, better paying job.

One reason I'm posting is because tomorrow I have to go to her workplace to pick up some things for my work and its highly likely that I will bump into her.

So any advice would be appreciated, cheers

Act like you don't give a fuark, don't be a d1ck to her as you will come off as butt hurt but keep your distance.

 

[King Lion]

If you see her - Ask her if she will give you back your balls!

 

[AureliusMaximus]

WTF - She has no business lurking around in my phone. She should applologize and get the fu'ck out.
Same should apply to your case.

 

[GreatHornedOwl]

Women don't end a relationship and become single. They do it because there's another guy in the picture.

 

[Guitar_Whizz]

Yeh next time lock your f*cking phone dude! And you should've called her out and told her off for going through your phone, as that is your own personal and private stuff. But don't beat yourself up about this, just learn from it so you don't make the same mistake again.