Girl was checking me out, but not anymore

[SayWhat]

Hi all

I've been starting to work at a company for a few months now. There is this very pretty girl who I 'caught' looking at me from time to time. But as I'm an AFC in these months I haven't even said a word to her besides a 'hi' in the morning.

I notice her not looking at me anymore, not even in the morning. Poor me .

I know I blew any chance I would have had with her, but I just want to know she was looking because she was in some way interested, or that she was just looking because I was looking quite often? I tend to be oblivious to signs until months later when I rethink situation that happened to me, but I wonder if I just put them in a 'good' light.

 

[Armourhead]

You definitely should have approached early on. She's moved on and lost interest in you.

 

[SayWhat]

But can I assume she was interested at some point? Is catching a girl looking at you often a sign or is it just she's looking to see if I'm not looking?

 

[CuddleJunkie]

I would say yes, but if you don't make a move the interest is lost. It happened to me with a really cute girl back in college, she would try to make eye contact during a week or so. And then simply nothing.
Anyhow, I don't know what the consensus here is, but I would not try anything with a coworker.

 

[Julian]

Do whatever you want man. Who made the rule you cant **** your coworker? hahah. Every CEO/biz exec/manager bangs his hot subordinates. You probably are working some doesnt matter job anyway(no offense). And coworkers fuk eachother all the time anyway in every industry.

Anyway my point is this, there are no rules here. The game has no rules. Check it out next time you see her create a situation that will allow you to interact with her and start spitting some game. "hey how are ya...I noticed you when I first started but never got the chance to formally introduce myself...my names____"


Guys its that fukkin easy. get off that nerd sh1t

 

[CuddleJunkie]

Of course, if you are in a power position theres not much problem. But I still don't like it if you are serious in your job. There''s a saying in spain "donde tengas la olla no metas la polla", that means "where you have your pot, dont stick your d!ck in".

 

[NSX-R]

Never bang or have anything more than typical relations with your co workers.

There are many sad cases in these forums about that.

 

[SayWhat]

Is there actually any chance left? I don't work with her on the same thing and didn't really had the chance to talk to her, but am going to see her more often the next weeks/months.

Not that I'm going to do it, my fear of rejection is just too big. I'll regret (I already do) it afterwards, but yeah...

 

[RangerMIke]

Women give you windows of opportunities, if you don't take them the window closes.

Just go up to her and ask her out, you don't need any other excuse than you think she's hot.

 

[Yewki]

Is there actually any chance left?

If you continue to stand on the sidelines doing nothing but wondering "what if" and posting on the internet about girls lookin at you, then no... you have no f*cking chance.

None, whatsoever.

Got it?

 

[SayWhat]

If you continue to stand on the sidelines doing nothing but wondering "what if" and posting on the internet about girls lookin at you, then no... you have no f*cking chance.

None, whatsoever.

Got it?

True, but it's difficult to get out of the fear of rejection mode.

 

[mental blockstack]

True, but it's difficult to get out of the fear of rejection mode.

The only way out is through.

 

[Lozboss]

I would say yes, but if you don't make a move the interest is lost. It happened to me with a really cute girl back in college, she would try to make eye contact during a week or so. And then simply nothing.
Anyhow, I don't know what the consensus here is, but I would not try anything with a coworker.

Don't sh*t where you eat.

Dating co-workers is NEVER a good plan. It will inevitably end and the break up will be 10x harder. Date 'ex-colleagues' sure.

 

[SayWhat]

Let's assume that I got a 0,01% chance I indeed would not go for it because it would devastate my career if it would end badly. Probably this is just a lame excuse for me to keep on saying nothing to her, but I need to get over it.

I don't know what it is lately, I've been there for three months now and noticed her from the start but this last week just feels like a teenage crush, I like her smell, her voice, every little thing about her,... (besides her saying nothing )

 

[Yewki]

Let's assume that I got a 0,01% chance I indeed would not go for it because it would devastate my career if it would end badly. Probably this is just a lame excuse for me to keep on saying nothing to her, but I need to get over it.

I don't know what it is lately, I've been there for three months now and noticed her from the start but this last week just feels like a teenage crush, I like her smell, her voice, every little thing about her,... (besides her saying nothing )

Even if you have a 0% chance, talk to her for entertainment and practice. You don't need to flirt, just practice talking to a girl you pedestalize.

 

[SayWhat]

How? I mean I just completely have a black mind, I don't know what to say without coming over as saying something just to say something with a hidden purpose.

Hell I am even jealous to other guys she talks to. Or fantasizing about how things could be,..

Damn I hate this, I'm 27 years old and still act like a teenager with this girl.

 

[Yewki]

Pretend she's a male acquaintance. What would you say to a guy at work?

But here's the important thing. If she isn't friendly, don't force conversations. What would you do you were being friendly to a guy at work and he didn't seem interested? You'd shrug it off. Oh well.

 

[SayWhat]

I agree with the fact I should get her out of my head, especially since we work at the same company and the break up would ruin my career. But the fact we work at a company which is directed around a specific branch, we both have the same interests and would make it the even more perfect girl... There is also the thing that when I think more and more about the fact she was checking me out (and not anymore) was a clear sign (even though I still doubt she was not just looking just because I was weird or etc...)

I still want to make contact with her, she looks like a great girl. But this is going to sound real pathetic, but I'm 'scared' of her, she's really cool and I think my low self-confidence facade will drop immediately when I'm with her (she probably has noticed this already due to the fact I have never made contact). It's one of my downfalls, I'm always too scared for the rejection part. That and the fact I just don't know what I should say.

 

[SayWhat]

I value my career a lot indeed, if I would tell what I'm doing and how I got in you would understand, but I'm not going to because you never know who is reading this forum as well...

I'm currently approaching no one (in fact I have never done this in my life, I've always let them come to me). Which makes it even harder for me to approach or to 'know' how to behave around girls, I've never learned this.

Dating someone from work has made my life a living hell for a couple of months as well, but I feel like I would still go through all of it for her. It really is a scarcity mindset as I don't know where I could 'get' another girl as I'm really busy with work and when I go out in the weekends it's just for 2-3 hours to a local bar.

Thanks for your responses.

 

[SayWhat]

The obsession with this woman is coming from an unhealthy place. I'm not saying that to be rude, it's just that this thread is just a symptom of a much bigger problem. You don't need her; you need to take more control over this one small part of your life.

Give a man a fish...

This bigger problem you are talking about is the scarcity mindset?