Girl suggests an alternative - group date

[Serg897]

fellow Dons,

Here is my situation. I met a girl on Thursday in a completely new town that Ive moved into this week, got her number. The initial interaction was great - one of the best I've had in a while. We have some things in common, being both beer snobs and ballroom dancers. Easy number to get.

I call her today and after some small talk I suggest getting lunch, since we work in the same area. She says yes at first, but while we are planning it (with some difficulty since we are both busy) she comes up with an alternative - apparantly she is going swing dancing with two friends of hers (guy and a girl) tommorow and she invites me.

I go ahead and say yes. It makes sense, since we are both dancers but at the same time Im a little bit apprehensive about meeting her with her friends. But, since I know how to swing dance and her friends are going to be newbs I might have a sort of home-field advantage.

The alternative would be to cancel and set something up another time, one on one.

Another thing - she is almost 27, and Im 22 - definate age gap we are both aware of, and her maturity shows when she suggested the alternative. I've never dated a girl that much older than me before.

Feedback?

 

[DJDamage]

It could go either way:

1) She isn't really interested in you and she is using her friends to rebuff your advances thus friendzoning you.

2) She is interested in you and would like you to meet her friends.

The good thing about all this is that she offered you an alternative and it something you also enjoy. You already said yes to her offer so don't backtrack now.

Just go out and have fun and see where this takes you.

 

[Jaux]

Yeah once I posted the most ridiculous thread ever. The situation was similar, and I was thinking of cancelling.

I got some good feedback and understood why I was hesitating: FEAR. I was simply afraid, but I went there and I had a great time. You've accepted the offer - go there and have a good time!

 

[Serg897]

So I went - and yeah, it was actually a good time. Not only was she a great dancer, but there were many other women there for me to dance with and meet!

Im not 100% sure the chemistry was there between me and the girl - my instinct tells me no. But she is friendly and mature. Since she starts to work nights now for two weeks I'll leave her alone for a bit, but perhaps try again and invite her to some different dancing (Im more of a Salsa fan).

However, while I was there I made another connection and got another number from a girl who runs a ballroom club locally. Its all about networking . This one was actually a bit agressive...she sent me a text later that night. Yet, she isnt particularly attractive (maybe a 6?). Oh well.

Not bad for my first week in town, though.

 

[sodbuster]

You hadn't built enough comfort-you are a strange guy,new in town,no one knows you, she couldn't check up on you with any one. SO she brings friends to give her an out in case you were really an axe murderer.

 

[PSYCHO]

It's a perfect set-up! She is introducing you to her friends right away - which means that she has no one else as a romantic interest - and/or, you are her first choice amongst others, otherwise she wouldn't be comfortable presenting you to her friends, if you weren't her first and potentially permanent consideration romantically!

You/she needs a partner to dance, right? Through dancing, you have instant fleshly contact. This means she is comfortable with being close to you!

You don't have "Sweaty Palms" syndrome, do you? Not good for a swing dancer!

 

[handle]

I'd say it's important to play it by ear when the group date offer is made. In this case it seems like a great plan. It's something she's going out to do, she invites you along, it's presented as an alternative when you're both trying to figure something out... All good. Just be wary because sometimes you get the "yeah I'd love to do that... I'll bring along my friend Cindy." Which is a totally different situation.

 

[Serg897]

Im reviving this thread now - just sharing what has been happening, since I like getting feedback.

Its two weeks later, and I havent given her attention since Ive been very busy settling in with my new graduate school work, getting all my sh!t together and finding a real apartment, etc. Plus, she was working night shifts for a while.

I decide to call her yesterday and she doesnt answer. But this morning I discover a facebook message from her - essentially a "hey I saw you called, I was working, but Im done working night shifts now and I might go swing dancing again next week, hope you are well"

I see this as an open invitation for date #2. I believe I'll call her tommorow and try to set up a baseball game thing. Its a weekend series so I think I'll do the Sunday day game (to avoid Friday/Saturday night commitments just yet).

Baseball games tend to be 3-4 hours, so its a decent commitment and how it goes will definitely let me know how things are going to go with her.