Girl suddenly always busy, but still communicative

[italostud]

Long story short, met this girl, went on a first date, i cut it short after about an hour, everything went perfect. Second date, had lots of fun, went to play some games, went to eat, and kissed at the end of the night. Great kiss, she didn't want to let me go. I'm thinking this one is in the bag.

We had another date scheduled for the next week. She calls the day before to say she can't make it and offers a make up date for the next night. I had plans that night(wed) so i told her no and that i'd get back to her to make other plans. well i try calling her thurs and she says she's busy until the next week sometime. So I try calling her next week. Now she becomes very hard to get a hold of. IE: waiting a day to return my call etc. So I'm thinking somehow she's lost interest and I should just cut her off. But then today she calls me and we talk and everything is (seemingly) good again. But then I ask when she will be free and she goes "Oh sometime next week". Now I know it's the holliday season, but something tells me she's just trying to blow me off. Nobody can be that busy. And even if she was, if she was really digging me, she would probably MAKE time.

So should I just assume she's teasing me or something? I mean this is getting kind of old. Delays going on almost 2 weeks now.

 

[Victory Unlimited]

Yo Italo,


This girl has low to moderate interest in you, for WHATEVER reason. Women will rarely tell you the whole story, let alone the truth. There is a possibility that she is seeing another guy or guys. My guess (unfortunately) is that she's seeing other guys that she finds TEMPORARILY more attractive.

But a lot of women are flakey, so this may change. She seems like she is keeping you in the running, but on the backburner. What she's doing is trying to either make up her mind, or make sure she has a "spare". But no matter. Your mission is still the same soldier.

Pick up your weapon and aim it at another target. Get out there and meet some more and BETTER women. Why do I say "better"? Because a woman with fluctuating interest in you is BAD for your self-esteem and emotional health. Treat her like she treats you. Put her on the BACKBURNER too. Remain OPEN to getting with her, but expend NO effort. Let her do all the work.

Whenever she calls you, always cut the convo short by asking for the date at a definite day and time. Then shut up and listen to her stammer and squirm. If she's noncomittal, she's proving that she's just an attention whhore. If she rises to the occasion and goes on the date, go for it---but proceed with caution. Because she has PROVEN that she has strong "flake" tendencies.

She's what I call a "Biscuit Chick". Hot but Flakey. lol

The best thing to do is to actively seek more and better candidates. And if you're successful, the best thing that could happen is that by the time THIS ONE shows up and starts acting right, you'll be TOO BUSY having fun with somebody else to give a dam.


March on.

 

[DoubleA]

I had this recently happen to me.

But I got a little further. Actually alot further.

Reread what you just posted. She sounds like she's stalling you.

What I did was turn it loose. F it. You didn't loose anything so. I had a blast trying to get to know her, but she was totally unavailable. Maybe it was something I said, probably.

But the fact remains I tried to ask her out and she basically bullshyted thinking I couldnt leave the azz alone..eventhough it was extra good. LOL. She played me close and got burned. No hard feelings. Also, I have no interest in giving it another shot.

There are too many women out here for me too wait until this one woman to come clean about the situation (another dude..whatever).


As Victory Unlimited would say, "FORWARD MARCH!" (hut 2, 3, 4...repeat)

 

[italostud]

I basically told her off. I told her that i have spent too much time and energy on her and, well, bye. Got a pissy little response from her. Man where are all the non-retarded women at? Althought I am 25 now and this girl was only 22. I may have to start looking into older women. The young ones are all very immature etc.

 

[DoubleA]

Don't elimate that pool of women. You're still able to fish from that well. One doesn't make the whole group tainted totally.

Next time it happens you know what to do. Cut her back and put in more work.

 

[Vulpine]

She's what I call a "Biscuit Chick". Hot but Flakey. lol

The slang we have around here... sheesh. "Mopeds" "ironing boards" "Butter face girls" "AW's" "FB's" "FWB" :crazy:

I should at least be glad VU isn't like... "she's proving to be an Alpha-Whiskey. Get a couple of Foxtrot-Bravos to spend some time with." Aww, crap, now I've given Victor-Uniform the idea.

My advice to the OP is standard:

Worrying about every little thing a chick does is Anti-DJ. If this chick wanted to be with you, she'd HELP you to be with her, not drag her feet or play silly-azz games. SOoooOO... you have other things to worry about, if not, get some. Do a search about "how many times should I call?" for a little insight. The phone is for setting up dates, not for chit-chatting for hours. Now that I think of it, do a search for "friend zone" too.

 

[Tazman]

We had another date scheduled for the next week. She calls the day before to say she can't make it and offers a make up date for the next night. I had plans that night(wed) so i told her no and that i'd get back to her to make other plans.

Women can and will be petty, and she's probably playing some stupid game because you cancelled her make up date. She called you to check in and see if you were still interested (more ego stroking) but intends to make you chase her. I'd leave her alone, especially since you've asked her out again multiple times and she neglected to counter offer. It's either that or she has another guy she's with or working on.

 

[salvosom]

her age has nothing to do with it

Don't fool yourself into thinking an older girl will behave differently.

I had the exact same situation happen with a girl aged 28 (I'm 25). We had sex on the 2nd date, then she decided she didn't want to have sex cause of her med school exams, so we spend about 2 weeks of oral sx and dry humping, then after our last date she claimed to be too tired from the exams to come over to my place or invite up to hers. I prepare to chalk her off as a loss and move on, but she keeps calling and texting and emailing, so i give her the benefit of the doubt and didn't break up with her. Then, BAM!, she dumps me

Now what I would appreciate from all you mature guys is some tips for approaching girls at bars.

 

[squirrels]

Dude, it IS the holiday season. That ****s with EVERYONE'S schedule. Besides, telling girls off doesn't accomplish anything except making you look like a b!tch. Next time just put her on the back burner and pursue other interests until an opening appears at your convenience. If it doesn't, oh well.

 

[synergy1]

agree with victory unlimited on this one; a temporary interest in another dude. The same thing has been happening to me, its easier to cut off communication and find other targets.

I know I said nothing new, but its another perosn with the same experience. Happens to us all.

 

[joekerr31]

Don't fool yourself into thinking an older girl will behave differently.

I had the exact same situation happen with a girl aged 28 (I'm 25). We had sex on the 2nd date, then she decided she didn't want to have sex cause of her med school exams, so we spend about 2 weeks of oral sx and dry humping, then after our last date she claimed to be too tired from the exams to come over to my place or invite up to hers. I prepare to chalk her off as a loss and move on, but she keeps calling and texting and emailing, so i give her the benefit of the doubt and didn't break up with her. Then, BAM!, she dumps me

Now what I would appreciate from all you mature guys is some tips for approaching girls at bars.

oh man, this was too funny!!!!!

i mean, you played it right. it just goes to show, a woman will do just about anything to screw you over if she really wants to. she'll let you dry hump her and beg you to come back, just so she can dump your *ss.

think of how sad and pathetic a creature you have to be to bother wasting your time with such behaviors.

i hope you laughed your *ss off when she dumped you.

guys, one golden tip for you all - when a woman does something like this - when she drops the hammer on you - DONT get mad, DONT pout, DONT argue - JUST LAUGH.

if you can manage to laugh so hard that you actually start to cry from the laughing all the better.

trust me, NOTHING demeans a woman more than you laughing at her behavior. it reminds her that this is a mans world and that at best all she can ever be is entertainment for you.

 

[amoka]

Long story short, met this girl, went on a first date, i cut it short after about an hour, everything went perfect. Second date, had lots of fun, went to play some games, went to eat, and kissed at the end of the night. Great kiss, she didn't want to let me go. I'm thinking this one is in the bag.

We had another date scheduled for the next week. She calls the day before to say she can't make it and offers a make up date for the next night. I had plans that night(wed) so i told her no and that i'd get back to her to make other plans. well i try calling her thurs and she says she's busy until the next week sometime. So I try calling her next week. Now she becomes very hard to get a hold of. IE: waiting a day to return my call etc. So I'm thinking somehow she's lost interest and I should just cut her off. But then today she calls me and we talk and everything is (seemingly) good again. But then I ask when she will be free and she goes "Oh sometime next week". Now I know it's the holliday season, but something tells me she's just trying to blow me off. Nobody can be that busy. And even if she was, if she was really digging me, she would probably MAKE time.

So should I just assume she's teasing me or something? I mean this is getting kind of old. Delays going on almost 2 weeks now.

She is testing other waters and using you as her backup plans just in case that one does not work out....I'll band communications with her altogether. Next time she calls, tell her you're busy and will call her back. Don't call her. Period. Treat a hor like one....

 

[italostud]

Thanks for all of the opinions. I'm not going to contact her again. I've already met a couple of other women. I don't have time to waste on women like that.

A couple of guys mentioned that I should have just started being distant and not written her off. I guess I could have done that but I've never been a guy who plays into stupid girly-games. I suppose I might have been able to eventually turn the tables on her, but I think by that time I would have just resented her anyways for making me play those stupid games. Not to say that it's a bad idea, it's just not for me. But I have some friends who have done that type of thing, being persistant over weeks or months and eventually getting the girl. So I know it can work, I just don't have the patience for it.

 

[Hitman10000]

Ditch the h0!

And *AGE* makes little difference in maturity in dating.. lol. I've dated women from 20s-30s.. After a couple of them they all say the same things when they don't want to see you. "Maybe" "Sometime next week" "I'll give you a call on X day to confirm" "I'm really busy" Don't get mad dude though, that's just dumb. Do you get mad if some employer gave you a job rejection? NO! Just be friendly or say nothing. Be glad they let you know ahead of time that they thought you would not be compatible with them. There are plenty of girls or women (even married) that are in relationships just for the sake of appearance when they would rather date someone else entirely but stick around for loyalty or appearance reasons.

Be true to yourself.