Girl Still On Dating Site

[armybyrd]

So I met this girl a few weeks ago on this military dating site and now Im deployed. I came into this cautiously and even told her Id understand if she didn't want to bother getting into this since Im deployed now although shes constantly said she wants this and has no doubts about this. I was taking my profile down yesterday and noticed she still checks her **** on that site. Whats my next move without coming off as insecure? Should I straight up ask her why shes still on there but telling me something completely different? The way I see it its definitely a red flag since she appears to be keeping her options open which doesn't make sense since I told her I wouldn't blame her if she wanted out before we got any further and wasted time. Heres a copy of her last email if it helps put things in context :
Good morning babe!! Ok so about your random thought....I am right where I want to be ....does it suck us just starting this whole thing and you leaving yes....but I just need you to be here for me as much as you can and ill do the same for you.....you make my world better even being away....I wake up and I'm happy and it's been along time since I can honestly say I've felt that way. I love who I am with you...and when we are finally together it'll be that much better....so until then I will anxiously await your return!
Love,
Brandi

Just looking for input on this before I waste anymore of my time.

 

[TheException]

Im deployed.

This^ should be your focus right now....not this girl.

Whats my next move without coming off as insecure?

Ignore it. Sure, consider it a red flag if you want...but dont bring it up. Its going to make you come off as stalkerish.

she appears to be keeping her options open which doesn't make sense since I told her I wouldn't blame her if she wanted out

Actions>Words

Lets be realistic here. Im sure she is keeping her options opened, since you guys just met and you are now being deployed. I wouldnt put in any more effort while you are deployed and focus solely on your deployment and just owning the sh1t out of that.

 

[armybyrd]

I see what youre saying but its just a sham deployment to Kuwait as lame as that sounds :/
I think Ive already answered this for myself though-bringing it up would be a bad idea and at this point I dont think I can trust her so Id say its pretty pointless from here. I might as well just drop her.

 

[TheException]

its just a sham deployment to Kuwait as lame as that sounds :/

Irrelevant. Thats where you will be....so you focus should be there too. Not miles away across the ocean thinking about a woman.

I might as well just drop her.

Do what you gotta do. Although im not advocating for this^

Just dont put any effort into her. Like almost forget about her until you come back. If you guys hit it off again great...if not...no big deal.

 

[Tiguere]

start using oovoo with her. and using the cam you have to start having webcam sex. you must develop a bond with this girl and webcam sex is your best choice.

make her send you naked pics then get her naked on cam then start j3rking off with webcam so she can see and feel aroused.

 

[mv.89]

dafaq^^

btw I concur with "TheException" no need to drop her off, let her think you are there for her and you will also have someone waiting for you when you come back . Don't think about her or pay attention to what she does.

Don't close the book, let her become a page which you can turn back to once you are back.

 

[Bokanovsky]

Good morning babe!! Ok so about your random thought....I am right where I want to be ....does it suck us just starting this whole thing and you leaving yes....but I just need you to be here for me as much as you can and ill do the same for you.....you make my world better even being away....I wake up and I'm happy and it's been along time since I can honestly say I've felt that way. I love who I am with you...and when we are finally together it'll be that much better....so until then I will anxiously await your return!

Here's some context: nowhere does she say that she won't be sucking some other guy's c0ck while you're away. And even if she did say that, I wouldn't believe her. She may like you, but it's foolish to expect her to remain abstinent while waiting for your return (especially considering that you've only met recently). It's also pointless to ask her why she is still active on the dating site. First of all, you know the answer yourself, so don't pretent that you don't. And second, she's not going to admit that she's seeking other c0cks and will just come up with some BS explanation (you know that too). Don't waste your time.

 

[Iceberg]

I see what youre saying but its just a sham deployment to Kuwait as lame as that sounds :/
I think Ive already answered this for myself though-bringing it up would be a bad idea and at this point I dont think I can trust her so Id say its pretty pointless from here. I might as well just drop her.

Drop her if you want. I don't see the point.

She's just some girl you barely knew. You certainly shouldn't be expecting undying loyalty and trust from her.

My point is - you might as well keep the option open of dating/banging her in the future.

Disappear for a few months, then come back home and give her a text. Maybe she's still up for some fun. And if she isn't, then what have you lost? Nothing.

So again, unless you were trying to immediately peg this girl as wife material, I don't see the point in "dropping her" since it's only been a few weeks, and she's not really yours in the first place.

 

[VikingKing]

I didn't read the other reply's. I an tell you right now, move on. I was in the marine corps, infantry. Dude, their are 3 billion women on this earth. Your feeling insecure. You probably dont love her, your just afraid to lose her. I would say 99% of oneitus is the fear of loss. If you loved you would be ok to lose her. Vagina is a vagina. Women vary in personality, and their abilities. But all in all women, in a psychological sense, are the same. Let this one go, feel the pain, move on.

 

[cordoncordon]

Considering the fact that you are 1000's of miles away and if you stay with this girl seriously you are probably going to be a nervous wreck, I would simply distance yourself from her. I'm not saying go totally no contact, but stop with the serious lovey dovey texts and emails. Just treat her as a friend and then when you get back, if you feel like taking it to the next level, try things from there. But to expect a girl you just met to remain faithful to you at this point? That is asking a lot. I don't think that is fair of anyone really. For either you or her. IF this had been a year long or longer relationship fine, then I would react to what she is doing. But not under these circumstances.

 

[armybyrd]

Appreciate everyones input and it def helped put things in perspective for me. So I was thinking-all girls are replaceable so what if I put my profile back up on that page? Im assuming she would notice since she's still active on there-not sure if this would make her ask me about going back on there or if it would make her become less serious about things not that it matters.

 

[Iceberg]

Appreciate everyones input and it def helped put things in perspective for me. So I was thinking-all girls are replaceable so what if I put my profile back up on that page? Im assuming she would notice since she's still active on there-not sure if this would make her ask me about going back on there or if it would make her become less serious about things not that it matters.

If you're:

1 - planning on going back on the site just to make her jealous

and...

2 - worried about whether or not that would make her "less serious"

...then you are WAY TOO INVESTED in this very short term relationship. And I use the term relationship loosely because really it just sounds like you went on a handful of dates.

I think the majority of the advice given to you in this thread was "It's not that serious. Walk away, and MAYBE come back when you're back from deployment."

Otherwise, what are you gonna do? "Break up" with a girl you've been dating for like 3 weeks?

If her lack of honesty about being exclusive with you while you're away bothers you that much, I'd advise you to stop putting your trust in people who you barely know.

It sounds harsh...and I really do understand where you're coming from...but you gotta step back and look at the reality of this situation. She's not your girlfriend. She's just some chick. Let's not make her into more than what she is.